The Archers: Jazzer's being witty ... Helen sees the midwife ... Fallon finally gets told about Jolene's plans for The Bull
- Ugh. Tom with his shirt off.
- Jazzer's back!
- Patrick's still around
- "coming out all crust and no filling"
- At least Jazzer told Fallon!
- Chances are 1 in 800
- The position Helen prefers?
- Don't let Jolene do the VAT!
Ugh. Tom with his shirt off.
That was a horrid start to today's listening.
I don't care how hot that polytunnel was. Surely health and safety, or at least food hygiene, would dictate that Tom stay firmly clothed.
Surely!
Jazzer's back!
And on superb form.
"Shelly Brazil? She had to work in food with a name like that ... bit of a tough nut? Is the pieman called Julian Crust?"
"Have you seen the newlyweds? [They've been] buying paint. It turns my stomach. They're round like cottage like a pair of pensioners, with a wee pint of semi in the morning"
"That's lassie talk ... making a healthy breakfast, patting him on the heid and sending him aff to work - that isnae romance, it's penal servitude!"
"Poor wee chris has had a epidectomy if you ask me"
"This new pump jockey - is he married?"
Maybe much more to follow if he gets as jealous about Rhys as he did over Harry.
And Patrick's still around ...
Kirsty's helping out with the new hide at the nature reserve - with Patrick.
Still saying their just friends, what on earth is wrong with Kirsty, Fallon and Helen that there's been so many new single blokes turning up, yet not a hint of any interest?
Patrick. The new barperson Rhys. Harry the Milkman. The veg man's son. Gavin from North Wales ...
... why so many new men, but no distraction for the single ladies?
"coming out all crust and no filling"
Ach well Helen. That can happen to the best of us.
At least it's just the pies this time.
At least Jazzer told Fallon!
He may not have told her in the most subtle or helpful of way (could he ever be capable of such?), but at least Jazzer told Fallon what everyone else was saying.
Someone needed to tell her that she might be homeless anytime Jolene completely cracks.
Jolene's silence when Fallon confronted her about selling The Bull spoke volumes.
She's gone beyond all reasoning. While she noticed that Fallon had been working really hard, she didn't think to tell her that all of her work might be utterly wasted.
Still, Fallon's no better at times. As if a "little solo tour" would sort out all of Jolene's woes.
"it was Sid. He's everywhere I look ... every corner reminds him of me ... where he hit his head and couldn't curse because Marjorie Antrobus was there) ... doesn't matter who is pulling the pint, it's Sid I see way .. the way he folded his cuffs back ... the gray hairs on his wrist"
"I can't bear it everyday. It's just torture. Got to get out"
"It's the life I shared with Sid. Without him, I need a new life"
Which Fallon returned with:
"what about me?"
"I don't want somewhere ... I love this place ... I couldn't bear to leave ... everything I love is here ... the band, friends, the upstairs, even the old codgers who complain about the ale ... please don't take all that away from me"
Oh deary me. Fallon has managed to persuade Jolene to "give it a bit longer", but I don't think can end happily.
Either Jolene spends the rest of her days in the pub sloping around like a Zombie, or Fallon has to lose the pub.
Compromises aren't going to work.
Chances are 1 in 800
Oh come on Helen!
Amongst much, much more - your brother was killed by a tractor, your boyfriend killed himself, you were anorexic, your dead boyfriend's daughter got pregnant by your then boyfriend (who wasn't really your boyfriend - and you don't know he was the father ... yet) AND you're unlucky enough to be Tom's Sausages sister.
If I could place a bet on something against the odds happening to you, I most certainly would.
Helen's having a triple test, which "indicates certain conditions". Seemingly, it's more of a probability test than anything definite, but Kirsty was immediately worried what it could show.
So, rather than Helen miscarrying (maybe that could be Emma?), she might have a baby with a "condition".
Not that Helen thinks it would make any difference.
Good.
But I'm not so sure Helen will really cope with anything other than perfection.
Well, at least she'll have a birth plan. She likes those.
The position Helen prefers?
I agree with Kirsty.
Steady on!
Don't let Jolene do the VAT!
What crazy fool let that happen.
It'll put Jolene and Lilian in prison.
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