The Archers 60th Anniversary: SATTC

SATTC: "Shakes Ambridge to the core"

*Update 3/01/11 - blog post for the 2nd Jan, Anniversary episode is live. Just click here to find out what happened.

Twitter is awash with the use of the hashtag #sattc, with everyone pitching in their ideas of what the seemingly BIG storyline will be for The Archers at its 60th anniversary in January 2011.

On 2nd January (the day after we've been listening to the Ambridge residents for 60 years), we'll be able to listen into a whole 30mins of Ambridge, which the BBC reckons will 'shake Ambridge to the core'.

We can eavesdrop in on BBC Radio 4 at 7pm, 02/01/11 AND BBC Radio 7 will be airing snippets from classic Archers eavesdrops from 11.15am on the same day.

I'm never sure how the BBC can predict what the Ambridge residents will do - but maybe they've used the 60th anniversary as an excuse to bribe the residents into 'acting' out some high drama.

Either way - I most sincerely hope that the BBC hasn't encouraged Ambridge Residents to Coronation Street extremes. We have no need of an en-masse clear out of residents, and it wouldn't be fitting for such a real and genuine slice of British life.

Here’s my thoughts (so far) on what the ‘shock; could be:

  • Will Grundy murders Ed or Emma (or anyone else who gets in his way)
  • Harry is revealed to be gay - a lamppost - a transsexual - Fallon's brother - or a rehabilitated serial killer
  • Phoebe invents a time machine (so she can be with both mums at once)
  • Tony discovers Helen's real problem - she's been wearing one size too small socks. Released from her agony, she turns out to be quite nice really
  • Jennifer starts an affair with Keith Horrobin
  • Kenton & Elizabeth reveal their real relationship (ugh!)
  • Tragedy at Lower Loxley as the Jill/Phil side of the Archer clan gathers 
  • Ruth - Archers traditional 'death by armchair' 
  • Tony - yard tractor - flood

And here’s the guesses of my fellow Twitterers:

  • 30 episode comprised only of sound effects used for Molly Button, Sabrina Thwaite, Freda Frey and Tidcombe 
  • The Archers being shown on ITV three times a week - replacing Corrie 
  • Every character who has ever died in the programme's 60 year history comes back as a zombie
  • First ever gay kiss between two tractors
  • A giant sinkhole will gobble up Lower Loxley Hall and all those inside
  • Death for many from exploding sausages
  • Alan and Usha convert to Rome
  • Aliens make contact/land in Ambridge
  • Aldridge/Carter wife swap
  • Ambridge will at last get snow 
  • Ambridge Organics make space for in store Burger King franchise
  • Annette returns
  • Bartleby runs away and joins Emmerdale 
  • Bartleby tramples Jake and George 
  • Bill and Ben get bitten by a radioactive spider and go on a murderous rampage, starting with Peggy 
  • Mr Pullen runs off with Brenda, Jolene and Fallon
  • Brian and Kirsty 
  • Brian and Lilian 
  • Brian, Kenton, Nigel and Tony turn out to be the four horsemen of the apocalypse
  • Brian has built a nuclear bomb
  • Brian turns out to be Lord Lucan - been hiding in Ambridge for years 
  • Cameron Fraser returns
  • Cannibalism (Tom’s Sausages)  
  • Chalkman is released early from jail and does ‘something’
  • Clive returns (with more petrol ...)
  • David shot by the hay thieves
  • David reveals his lovechild 
  • David and Lynda
  • David in prison after shooting hay thief 
  • David & Ruth confront the villain who stole the Brookfield hay who runs them over with a combine harvester  
  • David accidentally finds the Pip-Jude sex tape and goes on a rage-fueled killing spree
  • Earthquake 
  • Ebola virus will hit Ambridge tomorrow
  • Ed dies saving Will 
  • Edgar goes wild with a scythe
  • Elizabeth has a heart attack when Nigel presents her with the recently rediscovered broach (or just has a heart attack over ‘something’)
  • Elizabeth had murdered Julia Pargetter – hid her body in the lake – used the (recently found) diving helmet to retrieve the (recently rediscovered) broach 
  • Elizabeth takes Nigel out with a shotgun after learning that he is the father of Helen's unborn child
  • Fire in the village hall, involving Oscar 
  • Fire at the Panto
  • Freddie and Jamie form a gang, becoming Anarchist
  • Freddie turns into a manic because of exam pressure  
  • Freddie cracks under exam pressure and snaps his pencil in two
  • Grundys win the lottery
  • Harry tears off his latex face-mask, to reveal …
  • Harry is Helen’s baby donor 
  • Harry declares his love for Jazzer, Fallon gets jealous and joins Christian Voice 
  • Harry burns down The Bull 
  • Harry constructs a Wicker Man on Lakley Hill ...
  • Harry is a serial killer
  • Harry will go nuts with an Uzi
  • Harry is Jolene's son given up for adoption at birth 
  • Harry Mason is really Jolene's and Bert Fry's love child so Fallon goes on a revenge spree by burning down the Bull
  • Hellin, Roooth & Shula form a coven
  • Helen’s baby is the second coming
  • Helen is trampled in the sales
  • Helen’s baby born with Irish accent, or black, or with ‘additional needs’, is actually Tony’s baby (he sold his sperm to support the farm)
  • Helen kidnaps Oscar so that she can have twins
  • Helen gives birth to a two-headed demon
  • Helen dies giving birth 
  • Helen causes an accident that kills Tony 
  • Helen gives birth on the village green, Alistair delivering and Chris assisting 
  • Helen and Ian elope
  • Helen's baby is Damien from The Omen
  • Helen's finds out the sperm was from John
  • Helen's pregnancy is hysterical
  • High speed rail link to go through the centre of Ambridge 
  • Ian's the father of Helen's baby
  • Jack dies and leaves everything (most of Ambridge) to Hazel 
  • Jamie sets fire to Lower Loxley - non of the Archer clan survive 
  • Jamie Perks burning down The Bull with a bunch of people in it
  • Jazzer roasts one of Lynda Llama’s to impress Fallon 
  • Jazzer overdoses 
  • Jazzer wins the lottery and turns The Bull into a lap dancing club
  • Jennifer crashes her 4x4 at the Village green, somehow killing residents en masse
  • Jennifer has an affair with Neil Carter – or Joe Grundy
  • Jill dies in a barn fire 
  • Jill and Lewis have an affair
  • Jill finds a long missing recipie
  • Jill tops herself 
  • Jill will poison the last batch of mince pies for lower loxley. Half Archers wiped out. I Claudius style. 
  • Jill's aga explodes with obvious consequences for Jill and future of flower and produce show
  • Joe and Peggy elope to Switzerland 
  • Joe reveals he has been carrying out ethnographic study
  • John didn;t die under that tractor ...
  • Jolene closes/sells The Bull 
  • Jolene tops herself
  • Kate thinks of someone else first
  • Kathy steals a gun off of Will and sprays Jaxx with bullets (Kenton & Jolene together)
  • Kathy finds Kenton and Jolene in the shower
  • Kenton and Nigel declare their love 
  • Kenton and Jolene
  • Kenton and Nigel/Kirsty/Jolene/anyone
  • Kenton falls off the roof 
  • Kenton does a Rod Hull
  • Lilian and Ruth get it on, kick out their husbands and start a queer collective 
  • Lilian gives up smoking and gin
  • Lower Loxley burns down 
  • Lynda is really a scouser 
  • All of Ambridge dead due to Mistletoe poisoning 
  • Mad cow 
  • Nazi plot to overthrow the parish council is uncovered.
  • Neilson Gabriel returns alive, and digs up his loot 
  • Neil Carter's pigs lead a revolution
  • Nic runs away with Ed - Will gets back with Emma 
  • Nic and Ed have a shower scene
  • Nigel is kidnapped
  • Nigel falls off the roof taking the New Year banner down 
  • Nigel is killed in a head-on car accident, after argument with Elizabeth. Elizabeth then finds the brooch
  • Nigel jumps out at Elizabeth, causing her to have a heartattack - Kenton and Nigel then raise Freddie and Lily
  • Nigel Slater takes over Grey Gables
  • Nigel and Elizabeth related
  • Nigel decides to perform a drag act weekly for visitors to Lower Loxley. Lily and Freddie are perturbed
  • Phil Archer returns 
  • Phoebe (in one way or another!) 
  • Phoebe tops herself
  • Pip crashes into Helen
  • Pip runs over Nigel
  • Robert Snell finally flips and strikes out at Lynda 
  • Ruairi shoots Jennifer
  • Ruth cooks something that is not a pizza  
  • Ruth to develop foreign accent syndrome and start to speak like Jennifer Aldridge 
  • Ruth Archer is actually Phil's daughter.
  • Sabrina Thwaite and Nathan Booth speak
  • Sam returns and exacts revenge
  • Sid Perks is going to turn up alive with John Archer and we will find out that the last X years have all been a dream
  • Shula joins the Foreign Legion 
  • Shula and Usha scratch each other's eyes out 
  • Shula killed in hunting accident
  • Susan keeps her own counsel
  • Susan announces she’s turning Quaker and will be standing in the next elections as a Respect candidate
  • Susan stops trying to keep up with the Joneses
  • Tesco arrives in Ambridge
  • The Bull burning down (with Fallon and Jolene in it) 
  • The Bull burns down with a few residents in. Harry and Fallon run away with the insurance money
  • The Shires goes off in The Bull, causing Joe, Eddie etc to have a drink in The Feathers
  • The Pope shoots Ed 
  • Time Team visits Ambridge and dig up the cricket field and find lots of recent bodies
  • Tom Archer's shonky electrics cause explosions and fires all over Ambridge 
  • Tony delivers Helen’s baby. Or smothers her.
  • Tony and Kathy run away together 
  • Tony murders Helen by bashing her with the baby's mobile
  • Tony - history repeats itself with a dodgy tractor ...
  • Tony has a heart attack 
  • Tony, Pat, Tom and Brenda killes in a car crash 
  • Tony gets the yardtractor working, crushing Helen by accident 
  • Tony reveals something about his past that implicates Peggy
  • Tony suicide
  • Townies Tarmac Countryside
  • Runaway tractor in Underwoods
  • VAT goes up
  • Vicky listens to advice 
  • Vicky abducts new baby  
  • Villagers gang up to eradicate Vicky
  • Village shop blows up
  • Voice from the show "Hell me old pal me old beauty"
  • Will tries to kill Ed – Nic stops him – Will then kills Nic (by mistake or in fury) – then runs away
  • Will and Ed fight – knock over Emma – Emma loses baby
  • Will and Ed act like grown-ups
  • Will shoots Brian 
  • Will kills Emma
  • Will goes on a shooting spree 
  • Will shooting Ed in a hunting "accident" mistaking him for a partridge 
  • Will blasted by Brian while beating for the shoot?
  • The great Yoghurt mistake by Vicky has more serious implications
  • Zynga Farmville virtual Ambridge

What do you think?

*Update 3/01/11 - blog post for the 2nd Jan, Anniversary episode is live. Just click here to find out what happened.


Ruth Eneurys said...

Joe Grundy is going to die very soon. As for the SATTC I think that the tree tops wlak is going to collapse and kill several key characters. Things at LL have been irritatingly rose coloured so it must be there...

Inga McVicar said...

Ooh - never thought about the Tree Tops Walk.

And you could be right about Joe. His cough has been awful recently.

Anonymous said...

Excellent work! Thank you. :)

Lisa said...

No mention of Kate here at all, she's obviously having marriage problems that have been hinted at for some time. Maybe some kind of international tug of love over Feebs and the other 2 children, with maybe interpol/South African Secret Police intervention? Personally, I'm still banking on the plane crash as she returns early from the divorce negotiations.

Inga McVicar said...

Hello Magimum,

Good point. I reckon we've all left Kate out of this as she's in SA - but yup, she's more than capable of shaking any core!

Anonymous said...

What about Helen turns out to be the love child of Pat and Brian

Inga McVicar said...

Yikes Anon! Could you imagine what THAT shower scene would have been like (*shudder*).

Anonymous said...

Vicky poisons half the village. After all she wasn't paying attention when she was being told about the importance of heating the milk to the correct temperature.

Anonymous said...

motorway is planned to plough through the whole of ambridge, with most of the houses compulsorily purchased. then maybe the grundys can revert to the rural domination that they crave, sadly with only bartleby and a couple of chickens as their loyal subjects .......

noicattaro said...

after all the hype, all the SATTC will anything be a surprise??? I don't see how it could be. Why didn't they just do it, without a warning? Silly

Inga McVicar said...

I agree Noicattaro - the hype is getting a bit too much, and not very Ambridge-like. Still, it's been fun seeing what everyone's guesses are.

Also - cheers Anon for adding your predictions!

Anonymous said...

Helen murders Tony and Joelene announces she has sold the Bull to a housing developer

Anonymous said...

I predict this is what will happen:

Jack (pronounced 'Jeck' by that infernal busybody Peggy) escapes from wherever he is and takes off in the Grey Gables Bentley (or is it a Roller?).

Being Jack, and therefore useless, he stalls the damned thing on the level crossing just outside Ambridge - a nanosecond before an express train carrying nuclear waste is passing through.

The Bentley (a hefty old motor) derails the train, the nuclear flasks topple off and split, spilling their contents all over Borsetshire - everyone in Ambridge is wiped out.

Since the train was also carrying the BBC scriptwiters and production team, Radio 4 now has a 15-minute slot to fill six days a week.

Sad ain't it?

Anonymous said...

Can't spell acriptwriters

Anonymous said...

Or even scriptwriters

Anonymous said...

A bomb inside a christmas pudding explodes and takes out the whole human cast. The new cast is made of cows and sheep and Helen!

Alex Hoy said...

You missed my prediction that Grace Archer faked her death in 1955 and returns to claim a share of Phil's estate.

Lizzie said...

All the Silents get to talk ... Sabrina, Molly Button, Titchcombe ( who's still looking for his big spanner), Nathan, et al.

Hope nothing happens to Nigel – he's one of the few cheery characters. OTOH, nothing is too bad for Helen. Poor Tony!

Gill said...

Well ever since Pip's first driving lesson they've been flagging her up as a potential Speed Fiend. If David is widowed, there's a new woman at the farm for him to have a scandalous relationship with. OOOH!!! Fallon might have left on her Aromatherapy candle in her room, thus burning down the Bull - let's hope it's refurbished as quickly as the Queen Vic, if so.

Helen ought by rights to give birth prematurely to a Downs Baby, dying as she does so, with a death-bed reconciliation with her Dad as he delivers the little mite.

And perhaps Harry and Fallon will provide some light relief by being discovered at the scene of the disaster sharing a first passionate non-stage kiss.

Anonymous said...

Siobhan Donovan returns from the grave to reclaim Ruairi. Jennifer calls in Alan Franks for an exorcism #sattc #thearchers

Inga McVicar said...

*Update 3/01/11 - blog post for the 2nd Jan, Anniversary episode is live. Just click here to find out what happened.