Tony tells Peggy, Lilian and Jennifer about Rich 30.03.12

The Archers Friday 30th March 2012

• Matt and the Art of War
• Worried about Tony
• Ben is on the prowl again
• Easter Eggs all round
• Rich is introduced to the family
• What Clarrie saw through the window …
• What’s wrong with concrete frogs?
• Eddie has a new ferret
• Eddie’s shifts are safe
• Bridge Farm’s cows are out

Matt and the Art of War

Jennifer is telling Lilian about Brian being uber stressed. Though the vote on the Super Dairy went his way:

[Jennifer] “He’s used up all his goodwill with the Board, Lilian”

[Lilian] “Well business is war, darling. Ask matt, never has his nose out of Sun Tzu these days”

[Jennifer] “I might have to get Brian a copy”

Deary me. Two of them pumped up and ready for action, in one small village?

*shudder*


Worried about Tony

Peggy’s taking her time to get ready. Lilian and Jennifer are waiting on her so that they can go round to Tony’s (as requested by Pat) to her an announcement.

Seems Peggy takes her time when she’s worried.

As they all are.

Pat really should have told them that there is nothing extra wrong with Tony when she summoned them.

When they later get to Bridge Farm. Tony more-or-less immediately confirms that their announcement isn’t about him.

[Jennifer] “Tony, do you know what you’ve put us through!”

Ben is on the prowl again

[Peggy] “Has he been making a nuisance?”

[Lilian] “Course he has. That’s what we love about him”

Easter Eggs all round

Pigs for George.
Sheeps for Mia.
Cockerel for Jake.
And a duck for Keira.

They’re lucky to have such a nice granny Clarrie.


Rich is introduced to the family

[Tony] “Because it’s important for the family,. You need to know … recently, we found out that John had a son”

After they are all showed photos:

[Peggy] “There’s certainly something of John about him”

[Lilian] “That’s just how I remember John smiling”

Tony and Pat recount how this all started at Ivy Horrobin’s funeral, and how Helen and Tom are far more relaxed now about the situation.

Though they apologise for not having told the rest of the family sooner:

[Lilian] “That last thing you needed was us barging in in our kitty heels!”

[Jennifer] “It’s marvellous news. He looks like such a fine young fellow”

Actually, I didn’t think Peggy sounded remotely pleased to hear about Rich. She was obviously very relieved to hear it wasn’t bad news about Tony, but one would have thought she would have been over the moon to hear that her grandson had a child before he died.

As Lilian drives Jennifer and Pat home:

[Lilian, after having read Rich’s email to Pat and Tony] “ He sounds much more polite than I was at 13!”

[Peggy] “Actually, you were very well behaved then”

[Lilian] “Before I discovered horses and boys!”

(eh? Hope Lilian had different intentions towards them …)

[Peggy] “I’m very glad it’s made Tony and Pat so happy, but as Tony said, Rich won’t be down that often. He has a very full life in Leeds, and perhaps that’s just as it should be”

Ah, so Peggy isn’t sure that Rich being part of the family is a good idea.

Peggy moves in mysterious ways. And ever so subtly. Her disapproval could take a while to take effect.



What Clarrie saw through the window …

Was the Peggy/Jack side of the Archer clan gathering.

And she knows it wasn’t any of their birthdays …

… how long before she works the rest out?


What’s wrong with concrete frogs?

Clarrie was telling Eddie about her time with Jennifer – talking about flowering plants as part of her promise auction (which Jennifer has successfully bidded on). She reckons they just “chatted”, though she did impart a bit of knowledge about lilies and annual seeding.

But mostly:

[Clarrie] “I did enjoy going over there though, having a good nosy round. Imaging it were my garden”

[Eddie] “Spot anywhere for a burying mole, or a cheeky concrete frog with a fly on its nose?”

[Clarrie] “No, well they ain't really garden ornament people, are they?”

[Eddie] “Pity. I can’t give those frogs away at the moment”

[Clarrie] “I wonder why!”

Clarrie said that last bit with a significant amount of passion, and some certain knowledge.

Did I miss something? Previous problems or disagreements about purchase of said concrete frogs with a fly ion their nose?!?


Eddie has a new ferret

Called Hercules.

[Clarrie] “Oh for heaven’s sake. Clipping his claws while I’m making the pudding … I want it covered in crumble topping nothing else crunchy!”

[Eddie] “Come on Hercules. You’ll soon learn it ain't worth arguing when she’s like this”

Hercules, I’d listen to Clarrie first and foremost if I was you.


Eddie’s shifts are safe

At Brookfield.

Even though:

[Eddie] “40 grand to store slurry!”

Here’s hoping David and Ruth can keep up with the repayments.


Bridge Farm’s cows are out

[Tony] “The first night the girls stay out on grass after winter”

[Pat] “It brings them back to life, doesn’t it?”

Yay! Cows getting out after Winter. I just (genuinely) love it.

The cows being out are helping Tony’s overall sense of positivity. He even wanted, and felt like he could, do the milking today.

The bank has also extended Bridge Farm’s interest free mortgage.

And lent them the money for the new poly tunnel.

But it’s not just the cows having the good-feelin’ impact.

[Pat] “Tom's enthusiasm is infectious. He’s got me buzzing again”

The cows are out. The tatties are in. And:

[Tony] “This place feels like it has got a future. We should make the most of it … at moments like this, it feels simply wonderful to be alive”

Blimey.

It only took a heart attack to make Tony a bit happier.

Rich visits Bridge Farm 25.03.12

The Archers Sunday 25th March 2012

• Uncle Tom not interested?
• Eamon sounds like a nice chap
• First proper bee inspection
• When Rich met his grandparents

Uncle Tom not interested?

Though the coke and lemonade are on the ready, with Pat, tony and Helen nervously trying to prepare for Rich’s arrival, Tom heads out to feed the pigs.

[Tom] “Don’t worry mum. I’ll catch him later. If I get the chance”

Really Tom? Surely that’s a jest.


Eamon sounds like a nice chap

Just as Eamon and Rich are driving up to Bridge Farm, Eamon stops the car.

[Eamon] “it’s a good place to turn around, if you want to. Remember you’re the boss this morning .. it’s all happened so fat … believe me, no one will blame you if you change your mind”

[Rich] “It’s okay dad. I want to do this”

Good man.

He was also very calm and friendly during the visit, which couldn’t have been an easy one for him to have made. Rich is his boy.


First proper bee inspection

With Jill and Josh.

Though Josh is now getting too big for the bee suit Jill’s given him. He might have to get his own.

Jill was telling Josh to have patience as they are smoking the bees.

[Jill] “Let word spread it’s a forest fire before we open up”

[Pat] “One day they’ll work up it’s not really a fire!”

Jill reckons not.

And all seems well with the bees.

[Jill] “The bees have done well this winter.”

When Rich met his grandparents

[Eamon] “ This is it. These are your grandparents”

They all say help, and Rich says “nice to meet you”.

One of the first things Eamon asks on Rich’s behalf if a photo of John.

During Rich’s visit, he learns that bacon comes from pigs. That John was a good businessman (started up the pigs when he was 17), and was also a DJ.

As they were out walking.

[Rich] “Did he die near here?”

Tad morbid, but fair of him to ask. But Pat had taken them round the farm a different way.

Rich seemed to enjoy hanging out with Tom while he was dealing with a pig who had lost its yellow tag.

[Rich] “It’s what my father did, isn’t it … mum said he was good at it”

[Tom] “I expect that seems a bit weird. Most people don’t like pigs”

[Rich] “Sounds like a really cool guy”

Rich offers to help Tom, but he’s got his best jacket on. Though he sounds quite keen in helping out “next time”. That’s a good sign.

Back in the farm house, they’ve had lunch, and time to leave.

[Rich] “The ice cream was awesome!”

And he also liked the pigs, and farms.

[Rich] “They’re pretty cool. Once you get used to the smell”

(aha! He likes the pigs and the ice cream. This bodes well. Though Tom, Helen and Henry might not agree … inheritance split ahoy!)

As he’s leaving, Rich asked for a picture of John (he chose the one of him doing his DJ stuff), and also gave Pat a hug (though Eamon encouraged him to do so, he was quite glad to).

[Pat] “Isn’t it wonderful. Absolutely wonderful!”

Yay.

All’s well then.

For now.

Rich to visit Bridge Farm 23.03.12

The Archers Friday 23rd March 2012

• Kylie has good news for Helen
• Bridge Farm doesn’t know when Sunday is
• Annabelle wants Brian to stick with cows
• Tony feels good
• Reminder that the clocks go forward

Kylie has good news for Helen

Kylie calls Helen. Helen starts apologising for “opening old wounds for Sharon”. Kylie agrees that Sharon was very upset, but:

[Kylie] “What happened happened. But. In a way, that’s what was needed … mum said that Eamon can bring Rich down to Bridge Farm on Sunday, if you want, is that okay?”

Bridge Farm doesn’t know when Sunday is

First Tom – who has to ask if Sunday is the day after tomorrow.

[Tom] “Wow!”

Seems Sharon has also told Rich that Pat and Tony are his grandparents. And that he had already met them. He wants to meet them again.

[Helen] “Tom, we did it!”

Thankfully, Tom and Helen tell Tony and Pat (rather than making Rich’s visit a surprise, which would only lead to Tony having another heart attack).

[Helen] “he’ll meet you properly, as your grandson”

Tony and Pat also have to work out when Sunday was, but then:

[Tony] “No no, I don’t need any time to think … I think I can speak for both of us Pat, the answer is yes, we do want him to come on Sunday. Thank you”.

One can only hope that Rich turns out to be as nice a lad as he seems.


Annabelle wants Brian to stick with cows

She’s really not convinced about the pig plan.

[Annabelle] “There would be the same objections as with the dairy unit over animal welfare”

[Brian] “The idea of pigs being housed indoors isn’t anything like as bad as cows”

But Annabelle reckons that the protestors already hate, and want to attack, BL. They won’t stop just because BL are going to permanently house, en masse, another type of animal.

[Annabelle’ “I can’t seem then just giving in and rolling over because we tell them it’s pigs and not cows … moral crusade against any and every intensive farming”

Annabelle also thinks that it won’t do him any good with the BL board to:

[Annabelle] “be changing horses midstream … That kind of flip flopping always looks weak … the board loses confidence in the Chairman, and you’d be edged out”

[Brian] “That’d be a disaster”

(aye – just like when Matt was edged out …)

[Annabelle] “Convince the Board you’re right, Brian”

Tony feels good

[Tony] “I feel as fresh as a daisy today, well, sort of”

Ah, that’s better than feeling worse.


Reminder that the clocks go forward

This time, from Pat:

[Pat] “And don’t forget, we lose an hour on Sunday with the clocks going forward”

Cheers Pat!

At least my van clock will be right again!

When Helen met Sharon 21.03.12

The Archers Wednesday 21st March 2012

• Vicky Vs Eddie
• Helen visits Sharon
• Helen’s inconsolable

Vicky Vs Eddie

Most definitely results in a 1-0 home result for Vicky.

He’s “squeezed” Vicky in between jobs, to do her water feature (as promised under the promise auction).

But, as we all know, Vicky (and Mike) feel Eddie pulled a fast one:

[Vicky] “When I joined the bidding at the promise auction I never imagined we’d be scammed!”

Eddie claims it was clear as day that he was offering just to fit a water feature, not to buy and fit one.

[Vicky] “But that’s what you made it look like!”

[Eddie] “Always read the small print … terms and conditions apply”

And moving swiftly on …

[Eddie] “Any chance of a cuppa before I start?”

[Vicky, quite angry] “You’ve got a nerve!”

[Eddie] “And a biccy if you’ve got one”

Ah – but Eddie isn’t chuckling at Vicky’s expense for very long.

Vicky’s decided to change her mind about where she wants her water feature. She now wants it further away from the house. Which, as Eddie is quick to notice, is “miles away from the electric supply”.

[Eddie] “It’ll take me hours to just dig the trench for the cables!”

[Vicky] “Oh dear. Well, perhaps you’d better forget that cup of tea then and get cracking!”

Once Eddie has finished, and the “grand switch on” went off without a hitch, Vicky has a final sting to make.

[Vicky] “It’s lovely. And it’ll look even lovelier when you lay those slate chippings”

Eddie is not pleased, but hasn’t got much choi8ce,. Vicky said it had something to do with Abby being safe around the new water feature.

Ah – that Vicky’s a wild yin!


Helen visits Sharon

They got off to a good start.

At least Sharon opened the door to Helen (though she only half-heartedly offer her a cup of tea or coffee, and didn’t even ask her to sit down).

Helen explains the rough year Bridge Farm has been through. And that Tony has had a heart attack.

[Sharon] “Yeah, I was sorry to hear about that … I wouldn’t wish that on anybody”

Helen talks about Ton having out his own feelings to one side to be able to support Pat, and that just when they thought things were turning for the better, he collapsed.

Sharon doesn’t see what it has to do with her.

[Helen] “They’ve been left with so many regrets”

[Sharon] “I can’t help with any of that”

[Helen] “You can”

[Sharon] “I can’t. How your mum and dad feel is up to them. It’s always up to them”

Helen tells Sharon that Pat and Tony deeply regret what happened in the past, that they want things to be different and that they want to get to know Rich, and he them.

[Sharon] “Kylie said you’d want to talk about Rich and I knew this is what you’d ask”

Sharon still doesn’t want to upset Rich. He’s doing grand at school, is settled, loves his dad. She doesn’t want his live changed.

[Helen] “Just to let him know there are other people that love and care for him too, and who he can turn to if he ever needed us … my dad my die without ever seeing Rich again”

[Sharon] “I’m sorry, but I can’t help that”

[Helen] “The thing is, you can. If you let bygones be bygones, if you could just bring yourself to forgive mum and dad and let it go”

[Sharon] “Let it go!”

[Helen] “Oh that sounded crass … I lost someone I felt very deeply for too … but those feelings of hate and blame gnaw away at you too, if you don’t forgive …”

[Sharon] “That’s enough! Oh, you’re your mother’s daughter alright. If you think you can come into my house and start patronising me … I think you better leave”

[Helen] “I’m really sorry if I've offended you ... if you can’t do this for mum and dad's sake, do it for John's. ... I know you loved John, you called your son after him”

[Sharon, almost whispering] “Oh John ... I did love him”

[Helen] “I know, you loved him just as much as you did”

But Sharon is now beyond upset, and asks Helen to go. Which she does.



Helen’s inconsolable

Helen really does take things hard.

When she gets home, and goes to see Tom (after settling Henry), she’s already sobbing.

[Helen] “It was a disaster … I tried everything I could think of … tried to connect with her … I felt like I antagonised her from the off”

[Tom] “None of that had any affect?”

[Helen] “It was like she’d put on protective armour, and she wasn’t going to let anything get through that might touch her”

(Helen is now sobbing even harder)

[Tom] “At least you tried, eh, and it took a lot of guts”

[Helen] “No. No it’s much worse than you think”

[Tom] “It’s not your fault that she’s so hard faced and unforgiving”

[Helen] “It was awful, I brought John into it. I was desperate … she wasn’t angry at all, just so hurt, so wounded. I didn’t want to cause her any pain … that was my one chance, our one chance, and she won’t let any of us anywhere near her family again … I've failed them when it really, really mattered”

[Tom] “You mustn’t worry about mum and dad. They don’t know about this and we won’t tell them … I’m so proud of you, and you couldn’t have done anything more”

You know – for once I’m going to actually give Tom credit.

He may be an a*se 99.9% of the time, but he does look after his rather emotionally fragile sister.

Only Emma gets a Mother’s Day 18.03.12

(or so it would seem from the hidden secret microphones)


The Archers Sunday 18th March 2012

• Helen has to go AWOL
• Mothering Sunday
• Emma wants to quit
• Tom’s KISS method

Helen has to go AWOL

Kylie calls Helen to tell her that she’s spoken to Sharon.

[Kylie] “She said yes to meeting up with you”

Though Kylie had to work hard to get Sharon to agree, it would seem Sharon also wants some sort of resolution (closure, one would suppose).

[Kylie] “Mum said she’ll meet up with you, that’s all, so please don’t expect too much”

Helen later tells a delighted Tom.

[Helen] “Sharon’s agreed to meet, so she must have soften towards us … she wouldn’t let me drive all the way to Leeds just to shut the door in my face”

(hmm. Wouldn’t be so sure about that!)

Helen and Tom will also have to keep Helen’s trip secret from Tony and Pat, so that they don’t raise their hopes.

But, keeping a 5 hour round trip secret is going to be a bit tough.


Mothering Sunday

We only heard Emma’s mother’s day – either the secret hidden microphones were turned off everywhere else, or no-one else apart from Ed and his brood appreciate their mums.

Emma’s day went: woken up by kids and Ed (late, at 11am), card, flowers (freesias), breakfast in bed, bubble bath, a walk, then tea in a café.

[Ed] “I might not be able to buy you expensive presents, but I wanted you to know how much we appreciate you. I love you”

Aw. That’s sweet of Ed.


Emma wants to quit

As Keira is filling her bucket (with sand), Emma’s already looking depressed.

(she really knows how to show gratitude for Ed and the kids’ efforts)

She has an announcement.

[Emma] “I had a good think this morning … but I don’t know what you’re going to say … what would you say if I packed in my job at Lower Loxley?”

She claims it’s all about not being able to sort out childcare.

[Emma] “I just feel more and more stressed about it all … you think we can’t manage without that money?”

[Ed] “We’ll just have to see what we can cut back on. I’d rather do without than having you lying awake at night stressing”

Ed is worried about losing the money, but also about Emma not getting out of the house, away from the kids.

[Emma] “Wellies and worms, we can go to … outside play and it only costs a pound”

(not sure why Emma started talking like Yoda)

Ed did actually mean for Emma to also get adult company.

[Emma] “I feel like I wanna enjoy the kids while they’re still little”

Fair enough. Just so long as Emma does also accept that less work does indeed mean less income, so less to spend.

Princess Emma skint and happy about it?

I can’t see it.


Tom’s KISS method

Helen can’t work out how to go and see Sharon without having to tell Pat and Tony.

She reckons she can’t get Kirsty to cover for her (no – Kirsty would have to be told why), she can’t say she’s taking Henry out for the day (too long a journey for Henry), and she can’t say she’s going to see her plan Anne Baxter (from College) – Helen reckons she won’t be good enough at remembering her lies.

[Helen] “Belt and braces Tom. I’m not taking any chances”

[Tom] “With lies it's best to stick to the KISS method … keep it simple stupid … I’ve had my hairy moments!”

Then Tom has a moment of brilliant. What a rarity …

He suggests Helen books an appointment with one of the cheese buyers they met at the launch, who just happens to be close to where Sharon lives (Derby?).

[Helen] “Tom, you’re a genius!”

Well, it could be said that Tom’s ideal was a tad obvious, but as long as Helen is happy …

Jim makes a play for Christine 16.03.12

(or so it seems)


The Archers Friday 16th March 2012

• Now Tom’s harassing Helen
• It’s all Greek to Helen
• Hilary Noakes’ cockatoo is feeling better
• More farmers sign up for the badger vaccination
• Jim worries Christine
• Kylie says yes

Now Tom’s harassing Helen

About phoning Kylie. Which she has done, but Kylie has called back as yet.

Does that boy never learn?

Leave folks be to do their best, in their own time.

Or, do it yourself.


It’s all Greek to Helen

Kylie does call Helen back. She’s been busy getting an essay in on time. One on Greek Tragedy.

[Helen] “Gosh, that sounds pretty hard!”

Helen really does need to get out more. She’s staring to sound like a bit of a dim, as well as a dull, young lady.


Hilary Noakes’ cockatoo is feeling better.

So Jill announces.

[Jill] “I’m glad Benson is getting better … he seems to bring out her softer side”

[Christine] “You mean she’s got one?”

More farmers sign up for the badger vaccination

Seems Oliver is managing to persuade more farmers to sign up.

Good man.


Jim worries Christine

[Jim] “Hmm, what a lovely scent … it’s you Christine. It must be your perfume”

Jill concurs that Christine is wearing nice perfume. But Jim takes it further.

[Jim] “Indeed it is. Most alluring”

Over coffee and cakes, Christine is too distracted to hear Jill talking about how glad she is that Brookfield is keeping its cows.

[Christine] “It’s Jim, I’m afraid … what he said … to me … he’s complimented me before, of course, on my cooking. He’s always praised my scones …

"the problem is what he said earlier wasn’t about my cooking, was it, it was about me … Jim’s never complimented me about anything like that before …

"never on anything personal or anything that you might call womanly about me … but today saying my perfume was alluring!”

[Jill, getting excited at the prospect of a romance] “Ooh Chris!”

[Christine] “No no. It’s not good Jill. I like Jim a lot of course I do. We get on well, we’re great friends. That’s as far as it goes for me. What if he’s started getting other ideas”

Ah well done Alan! You may have got Jim to do something for lent, but it could cost Jim one of his most precious friendships.

(I know – we all know they’ll sort it out)


Kylie says yes

During their phone call, Helen tells Kylie about Tony’s heart attack. Kylie shocked and worried to hear about it.

(she is a nice lass)

[Helen] “I’ll be totally honest. What he’s been thinking about is Rich … now what’s praying on dad’s mind is he has a grandson who doesn’t even know he exists … I’m sorry to load this onto you …”

She tells Kylie that she wants to arrange for Rich to get to know his grandparents properly. Kylie is at first worried that Helen wants her to tell Rich, but Helen is merely after a face-to-face with Sharon. Which will take Kylie to help arrange.

Later to Tom:

[Helen] “She said something I hadn’t even though of. About Ivy … she only realised how sad that made her feel at Ivy’s funeral”

[Tom] “Well that’s a shame. But helpful to use, I suppose”

Indeed.

Kylie’s agreed to talk to Sharon to at least meet with Helen.

Tom wants Rich in the family 14.02.12

The Archers Wednesday 14th March 2012

• Jamie and Natalie are back
• Youth Cricket
• Joe’s a cheeky gossip
• Helen’s sacking Brian
• Tony is brooding
• Amy has a boyfriend
• Tom does a u-turn

Jamie and Natalie are back

Still together, and shopping for tops for Natalie.

Credit to Jamie – he is very patient while she chooses between plain or stripy.


Youth Cricket

Jamie’s telling Natalie that Alistair has asked him again to play cricket for Ambridge.

[Jamie] “Do I really want to spent all my evening and weekends in the summer with a ,load of old blokes, when I could be with you?”

Natalie points out that he does like cricket, and that Sid would have been proud of him to do so.

(Natalie seems like a good ‘un again!)

Later, Jamie has a plan. He’s going to see if Ambridge can put on youth nights, so that the younger chaps can practice together away from the auld yins.

He’s especially thinking of his mate Marty.

Seems Marty is depressed. He’s having to repeat a year at school, and hasn’t made any pals.

[Natalie] “This all Steve’s fault. If Marty hadn’t looked up to that stupid dork in the first place!”

Joe’s a cheeky gossip

But hasn’t agreed to give it up for lent.

He told Chris about Jim and Vicky

[Chris] “Mike said he’d been ogling Vicky … and that he said she was fat”

Naughty Joe! That fall out should have finished when Joe made Jim and Mike shake.


Helen’s sacking Brian

Well, more ‘laying off’ than sacking. She reckons Pat will have more time next week to help her with the veg boxes, so Brian is surplus to requirements.



Tony is brooding

Having more time to sit and think, Tony tells Tom what he’s been pondering:

[Tony] “I sit here Tom, and I wonder what he’s doing, Rich. What’s he up to? … I knew I had to make it happen, and when we saw him in Leeds, John’s grin, John’s eyes, just that look about it … all she wanted, all I wanted to do, was hug him. Hug him tight and say I’m your granddad … I knew I had to be strong for her, to get her through it … I had to keep going, keep mum going … and now that’s it. We’ve had it. Had our contact. We might never see him again”

Amy has a boyfriend

Which knackers Alice’s (very odd) plan to match her up with a male model.

Seems Amy is seeing someone called Karl, who is a few years older, works in Felpersham and she doesn’t want to introduce him to anyone else as yet.

[Alice] “She doesn’t want to tempt fate …”

Or interfering mates like Alice!


Tom does a u-turn

After speaking to Tony, Tom sits down with Helen:

[Tom] “He suddenly, out of nowhere, started talking about Rich”

[Helen] “Where did that come from?”

(Tom just said. Nowhere)

The penny has finally dropped for Tom. He now understands that after Tony had seen Rich, he so desperately wanted to tell Rich that he and Pat are his grandparents. But, part of Tony’s stress after was trying to stay strong and realistic for Pat.

[Helen] “Mum does realise he did that for her”

[Tom] “It made me wonder. If, maybe, we could do something about it”

So he wants Helen to talk to Kylie. Helen made friends with her when she was last down (though that’s a poor excuse for not doing it himself, I reckon)

[Tom] “I think what dad wasn’t saying is that … he could have died Helen, and he’d have never got to know Rich and Rich would have never known who he was … so, will you give her a call, kylie … explain what’s happened to dad and ask Kylie to try and make Sharon to see how important it is”

[Helen] “Suppose it’s worth a try”

[Tom] “Helen, we’re lucky to still have dad, I think it’s worth doing. For him”

Odds-on for Rich being at the Bridge Farm Christmas 2012 table.

Will no one think of Tony? 10.02.12

The Archers Friday 10th February 2012

• Tom made the trailer sag
• Brian’s missing the point
• Jennifer doesn’t want kids
• What’s wrong with seeing the pigs?
• Helen knows her dad

Tom made the trailer sag

And didn’t seem very apologetic about it, or willing to put it right anytime soon.

Tony is (quite rightly) angry with him.

So Tom does the only reasonable thing – blame someone else.

He now reckons “he can’t do right for doing wrong”.

[Tom] “Maybe I should just change my name to Rich. Perhaps that might please him … I need to do the milking, I don’t want to give him any more proof of how second rate I am, do I!”

Brian’s missing the point

Actually, the whole of the BL board are missing the point.

Brian’s come back to Neil to say that the BL Board is happy to talk to the Parish Council. But only the Parish Council. They don’t want a public meeting until the Planning permission has been considered.

[Neil] “It does feel as though it might be leaving it too late … the longer you leave it, honestly Brian, people are going to think you’re just trying to hide something”

Brian reckons he has already been open, so won’t achieve anything with a public meeting at this stage.

Still don’t understand this U-turn. I think his instinct to talk to people, and hear their views, was a good one.

But then again, Brian hasn’t provide very good at the listening bit …


Jennifer doesn’t want kids

For Chris and Alice.

Or she at least didn’t sound too keen when Susan mentioned the prospect of Alice and Chris having kids (that they can’t really at the moment as they’re saving).

I suppose Jennifer is hoping they’ll split up before they have a chance to breed, leaving Alice to find her a blue blooded bull.


What’s wrong with seeing the pigs?

Susan was telling a (rather keen to escape) Jennifer that she also fancies bidding on Eddie’s water feature in the Promise Auction.

(ach – I’ll stop saying it – but Eddie only said he’d install one!).

Susan reckons it’d create a nice focal point at the end of her garden. She asked Jennifer what she thought.

[Jennifer] “Yes, I suppose, I mean providing the pigs aren’t in view … I’m sure it’d look lovely Susan”

What a witch that woman can be!

And what’s wrong with seeing pigs?

Especially when they’re weaners. Cute!


Helen knows her dad

And takes the time to actually talk to him.

Everyone else just seems to be ignoring poor Tony at the moment, while expecting him to do all the hands on graft.

Tony is upset. Especially since Rich has been abruptly back into their life because of Kylie’s letter.

[Tony] “It’s just hard … there’s nothing we can do anyway, and for you mum’s sake … you know how distressed she gets, how low … we've just got to find someway of moving on”

Tony has been brooding about Rich. He can’t get the fact that Rich likes things like cricket lout of his mind.

[Tony] “It makes him all the more John’s boy for me …There’s so much I’d like him to know Helen, about his dad … he’d barely started his life, and now that we know about Rich, it feels as if …”

Tony starts crying.

[Tony on Rich] “I just wish he knew we’d have been there for him”

Oh Tony. You poor, neglected wee man.

Tony is also careful to make sure Helen knows that his feelings for Rich (and John) doesn’t mean he loves the rest of his family any less. Especially Henry.

[Tony] “I promise you love, he brings me happiness everyday”

Helen later corners Tom.

She tells him she now realises how much Rich means to Tony.

Tom starts to tell Helen that he has a mind to write to Kylie to tell her what hassle and stress she’s created, but:

[Helen] “Please listen … I don’t think we’ve appreciated how hard it’s hit dad …He was the one that found John, and there’s this lively lad, smiling at him … he’s trying so hard to bury his feelings. Who has he got to talk to … he was so lonely … just try to go a little bit easy on him”

Tom softens, and agrees to try and not get into any more arguments.

But that’s as far as he gets. Tom is still adamant that they must get on with business (literally)

[Tom] “I’ll do my best to be there for him, but dad’s going to have to be there for us too”

Tom is such an odious little twerp! Tony deserves better (thank goodness for Helen).

A letter from Kylie 08.02.12

The Archers Wednesday 8th February 2012

• Neil missed the planting
• Pat harasses Lynda
• Bloomin’ pork cobbler!
• Kylie’s letter
• Scruff listens to Neil
• Consternation in the village? Organise a meeting!
• Business cards and Facebook
• Tom’s angry

Neil missed the planting

Of the Jubilee oak tree.

Which is a shame, as he was part of organising it.

But he had work to do at Bert’s.

Poor Neil.

Still, Lynda says it’s been planted in the perfect spot.


Pat harasses Lynda

Over the village website. Pat had even sent Lynda an email!

[Pat] “I really don’t think the village website should be doing BL’s job for them … I couldn’t believe it when Ruth showed me. It’s so misleading …The website should be a forum for the village, not BL’s propaganda!”

Lynda thinks the article was reasonable, though she doesn’t agree with the Super Dairy, and says that Pat can also do her own article for the website, with a link to her online petition.

[Lynda] “You must know I wouldn’t approve, but I can’t stop Jennifer posting”

Bloomin’ pork cobbler!

Which Tony reckoned was only “just fine”.

Tom’s away on his trips again (this time to “lock down” his recipes, including the infamous pork cobbler), so once again leaves Tony to do the milking himself. Again.


Kylie’s letter

Pat and Tony got a letter from Kylie today. She’d heard that they’d met Rich, was glad they had and:

[Kylie’s letter] Mum doesn’t usually like talking about her past … she’s started to open up … I just wanted you to know I think it’s great … 

Kylie also wanted to tell them that she as happy memories of Ambridge – remembers Pat and Tony from them, and that they were kind to her.

Pat’s over the moon.

[Pat] “It’s still a link though. We don’t know what’s going to happen down the line”

[Tony] “Please don’t Pat, It’s just a kind gesture from a kind girl. We mustn’t expect any more than that”

But Pat doesn’t want to let it go again.

She wants to Facebook Kylie to say thank you for her letter.

[Tony] “I’m not sure. We really don’t want to push it”

But Pat’s adamant that now she has an in to Rich, she wants to keep the channel with Kylie open/

[Tony] “Well, as long as it’s just a quick thank you”

And Tony also insists they tell Helen and Tom about the letter. He doesn’t want a repetition of last time.


Scruff listens to Neil

Lynda’s scruff was just all over Neil, which he didn’t mind too much about.

But when Neil had had enough, he told Scruff to sit down. Which he immediately did.

Wonder if Neil could have the same impact on Lynda?


Consternation in the village? Organise a meeting!

Lynda suggests to Neil that the Parish Council is duty bound to host a public meeting about the Super Dairy. He agrees it’d be a good idea to openly discuss both sides, and Lynda tasks Neil with inviting Brian.

Which Neil does.

But surprisingly – Brian sounds reticent.

[Brian] “I’m not quite sure when we’d hold it, as you can imagine we’re all very busy”

[Neil] “People are still going to have questions and criticisms, it’d probably be worth your while listening to them”

Brian says to Neil that he’ll discuss it with the Board. When he’s rung off from Neil:

[Brian] “Perfect. That’s all I need!”

Eh?

I thought Brian wanted open discussions. He’d already suggested they hold a public meeting (but that PR chap Rufus said it was too early to do so). And the Board wanted Brian to be open and listen.

So here’s his chance.

Why doesn’t he want it?


Business cards and Facebook

Is Tom (the cards) and Brenda’s (Facebook page) contributions to the anti-Super Dairy campaign.

At least it is turning out to be a family effort.


Tom’s angry

After being told by Pat and Tony about Kylie’s letter.

He reckons they promised him that it was over and done with.

[Tom] “But no, they’ve started something they can’t stop”

And now Pat will be watching the letterbox.

[Tom] “I’m not upset Brenda, I just wished they’d forget it and get on with important stuff … there’s nothing we can do but just hope it goes away”

Little chance of that, matey.

Christmas around the World 28/12/11

The Archers Wednesday 28th December 2011

• Tom loves his nephew
• Of course … Tom was worried about Tom
• Lynda still doesn’t know what Jazzer is singing
• No more “it’ll be alright on the night”
• Yes Jim, what equipment do you need?
• Albanian music
• James at the concert
• Peggy’s ankle is better
• Jazzer isn’t too impressed
• Jim did fine
• Jazzer’s singing was …

Tom loves his nephew

Which is sweet.

Not something you can generally say about Tom …

He’s been spending quality time with Henry. It seemed to have something to do with a ball pit.

Tom not merely recognises that Henry is better with balls than his pigs are (blimey!), but he also reckons Henry is great to be with.

Bless.

Wonder if that means he’ll be impregnating Brenda anytime soon?

Considering their engagement as seemed to be forgotten, I’d reckon not.


Of course … Tom was worried about Tom

Pat manipulated Helen?

Brenda and Tom are talking about Helen’s apparent change of heart about Rich. Helen has softened to the idea of why Pat and Tony chased so hard to meet Rich.

[Tom] “Only because mum manipulated her … she played the John card, that trumps everything”

[Brenda] “I really don’t think your mum is that calculating”

[Tom] “I still think it’s very generous of Helen to take everything that mum said at face value”

[Brenda] “You’re very protective of Helen and Henry, aren’t you?”

[Tom] “Someone’s got to be. I’m only looking after their interest. I’m protecting my sister and my nephews”

[Brenda] “And yourself. Tom you’re so angry, Are you sure some of this isn’t about you?”

But of course it is! What else would really motive Tom, despite that his claims of wanting to protect Helen and Henry.

Tom sees Rich as a threat. As predicted.

[Tom] “Sounds so paranoid … I can’t stop wondering if Rich might turn up here one day”

[Brenda] “And it would bother you if he did … even if it made your mum  happy?”

[Tom] “It would depend why he’d come, I mean if wanted anything to do with the farm …”

[Brenda] “I don’t think it’s very likely. He doesn’t even know there is a farm”

(eh? He will one day, surely Brenda?)

[Brenda] “All the work you’ve put into Bridge farm over the years, naturally you want to protect it”

[Tom] “He might want a  stake in it, a say in how we do things”

Brenda reckons Pat and Tony would never let that happen.

[Brenda] “You saved Bridge Farm … This kid may be John’s son, but you’re his heir”

True enough that Tom took on John’s business and made it work. But hardly true that he saved Bridge Farm after E. coli – he merely saved his own neck.

Typical Tom. It’s always about Tom Archer’s.


Lynda still doesn’t know what Jazzer is singing

Though the show is now, and Jazzer has told Robert (for lighting) and Patrick (for the piano), he still won’t tell Lynda.

[Lynda] “I’m the only one in the dark, then”

*sniff*


No more “it’ll be alright on the night”

Or else Lynda will get very (very) upset.


Yes Jim, what equipment do you need?

Jim’s equipment still hasn’t been sorted.

[Jim] “You’d be surprised …”

[Lynda] “I wash my hands of the whole thing”

[Jim] “Now Lynda, there’s no need to get a state into all of this … I’m sorry Lynda, I do appreciate your hard work, I really do”

Later on, when it’s nearly Jim’s turn and the equipment still hasn’t arrived (Lynda has a hard time getting hold of someone at Grey Gables – they are busy, after all. Ian was meant to take the equipment with the food but had no room. So Caroline is due to arrive with it, but she hasn’t arrived as yet), Jim suggests they move his spot to end the end in place of Jazzer.

Lynda’s also having none of that nonsense. Seems she’d prefer to take a chance on whatever Jazzer will sing than ending her show with Latin.


Albanian music

One of Elona’s daughters has just done her turn.

[Vicky] “I’ve never heard Albania music before”

[Lynda] “I don’t suppose anyone has”

Eh?


James at the concert

Taking photos.

But we don’t have to suffer him talking.

Seems Leonie is also there. She even makes up a plate for Lynda.

But we also don’t have to suffer her talking.

Happy Christmas!


Peggy’s ankle is better

Good.

Seems Elona is still being a great (paid) help to her.

Peggy spent Christmas lunch with Matt and Lilian, then went to see Jack.

Glad to hear she’s doing okay. Always worrying when someone gets hurt then goes silent …


Jazzer isn’t too impressed

Not by the food:

[Jazzer] “Too fiddly. All these wee bits and pieces. I want something ah can get ma teeth intae”

Nor by Rhys’ recitation:

[Jazzer] “I couldnae understand a word Rhys was saying”

[Tom] “He was reading it in English!”

[Jazzer] “I know. That was the trouble”

Jim did fine

After all that stress – and a horrible moment when it seemed he was about to do a PowerPoint presentation – Jim’s bit was fine.

All he needed was a computer, a screen and a projector. Simple, really.

He’s reading from Virgil’s Georgix book 2 lines 513-531.

[Jim] “For those of you who don’t know it it’s a poetic handbook on the arts of husbandry, should any of the farmers here wants to borrow my copy … I’ve chosen some lines on the pleasures of winter after the hard work of the agricultural year, that may strike a chord, it even ends with a darts match.

“ … But still the farmer furrows the land with his curving plough, the land this is annual labour, it keeps his native country …”

[Lynda] “That’s English, Robert, he’s reading in English!”

[Robert] “Yes indeed Lyndee, he is”

[Jim] “His little grandsons and herds of cattle and trusty bullocks …” (and on)

So Jim’s surprise was to put the Latin on the screen, but ready in English.

Steady on there! Too much excitement indeed.


Jazzer’s singing was …

… disappointing, in my humble opinion.

[Jazzer] “Ah have tae apologise to all they folks who were expecting a Scottish Christmas song, but it turns out we save our energies for Hogmanay … I thought I could cross the ocean as so many we scots have done in the past”

So he sings Have Yourself a Merry little Christmas … but quite badly. Lynda seemed to enjoy it, but I think Jazzer performs best with his wee ditties – this was a bit too much for him.

[Lynda] “Oh Robert, that’s beautiful., What a lovely song,. Fancy Jazzer coming up with it!”

[Robert] “It’s been an evening of surprises. And all good ones. Thanks to you. Happy Christmas Lyndee”

Helen understands Pat 27/12/11

The Archers Tuesday 27th December

• Pat talks to Kathy
• Robert tries to calm down Lynda
• Pat is primeval
• Where’s Jim’s equipment?

Pat talks to Kathy

Over lunch and a white wine spritzer.

Kathy was telling Pat that Lilian asking for list of invites for her 60th birthday.

[Pat] “I don’t know if I can face it. … maybe I’ll cancel it. I don’t feel like I have much to celebrate … I thought I could forget, if I threw myself into our family Christmas, I could forget.

“But I couldn’t … I made a complete fool of myself on Christmas afternoon … Helen said, just think this time last year you didn’t have a grandson ..,. and I though yes, now I've got two, only one I can’t see, It was too much. I broke down.

“Then we had the most terrible row, the children’s were so angry with me … there was Henry, lovely, lovely Henry who I see every day and the thought that I was never going to see Rich again”

[Kathy] “Again? What do you mean again? Pat, you didn’t?”

[Pat] “I thought it would help … it’s made things worse, for everyone. I think it was a terrible mistake”

Pat had thought that seeing Rich would help her move on, but it hasn’t. (obviously)

[Pat] “I know from the photos that he looked like John, I’d steel myself for that … but he has some of John’s mannerisms too, I hadn’t expected that. It was heart stopping”

[Kathy] “Jamie has some of Sid’s. It takes my breath away sometimes … but, he’s not John”

[Kathy] “I know. But that’s how I’d been thinking of him. A piece of John. He’s so much more. He’s his own person, even in the short time we were together, I could such a strong sense of his personality”

[Kathy] “That’s a good thing isn’t it, if you can separate him from John?”

[Pat] “No. because now I want to get to know him better. I want it so much … So, for the sake of 10 minutes with a grandson I shall never see again, I've totally alienated my own children … they were so angry, I don’t know if they’ll ever forgive me”

[Kathy] “It’s been a big shock finding a cuckoo in their nest … what does it actually mean to them. It just brings back painful memoires of losing John … at the moment they’re just jealous, Rich has been taking an awful lot of your attention and Tony’s”

Pat tells Kathy that it hasn’t changed the way she and Tony feel about Helen and Tom. Kathy tells Pat that they need to tell them that.


Robert tries to calm down Lynda

Not an easy thing to do, considering Christmas around the World is tomorrow.

[Robert] “Sit down, relax and pass me that cheese … pour us both a glass of wine and relax for half an hour”

Lynda is worried about everything – but especially Jazzer. She still doesn’t know what his song is …


Pat is primeval

Once home, Pat apologies to Helen.

[Pat] “I see now how wrong it was for me and your dad to go and see rich without telling you and Tom”

[Helen] “We’d ask you not to …”

[Pat] “I know. We’d just got swept up. I just couldn’t bear not to see him. Even if it was only once”

[Helen] “Despite what we wanted?”

[Pat] “Despite what anyone wanted., It was primeval. That’s an explanation, not an excuse”

As Helen has said to Tom, she needed time to ponder. She’s been trying to see things from pat’s point of view, and has also been looking at the pictures of Rich.

[Pat] “I was seeing Rich for the first time, but then I saw John again”

[Helen] “It seems now that he’s turned out not to be your first grandchild, Henry just doesn’t count anymore. That’s what’s really upsetting me mum”

[Pat] “If anything, this has made me love Henry even more. Because it’s made me realise how blessed I am to have my grandson in my house, where I can see him every day, watch him develop, love him as much as I want to. I can never have that with Rich … Henry has always been extra precious because we nearly lost him, now he’s even more. If this had happened and I hadn’t got henry, I don’t know what I would have done”

[Helen] “You’ve seemed lost in the past, back with John, and Tom and I felt the same, as if we didn’t count anymore”

[Pat] “Losing John made me love you more, if that’s possible”

[Helen] “That’s all I wanted to know. I hated feeling jealous. I wanted to be happy John had a son”

[Pat] “You can be. He’s a lovely boy. You know Helen, he’s called John too”

[Helen] “So, Sharon did love John after all?”

[Pat] “I think she did. I wonder if she’ll ever forgive us”

[Helen] “Or let us meet him .. he may try and find him himself”

They agree that if you love someone, you have to let them go. As they all had to do with John.

As Helen reminds herself, she also had to let go of Greg Turner. Then Annette turned up.

So – Helen now understands that you can move on, until that reminder comes back onto your life. Her mention of maybe Rich one day trying to find them sounds like she now also wants to meet him.

That just leaves Tom to convince.



Where’s Jim’s equipment?

After Robert managed to get Lynda to sit down, they’re now at the hall doing the final setup for Christmas around the World.

[Jim] “What a hive of activity!”

[Robert] “And you’ve come as an extra bee?”

No. Jim’s not a drone – he’s just come to rehearse.

But there’s a problem.

Jim was expecting Lynda to sort his equipment. But Lynda thought he had just been describing his equipment to her (oo-er!), and that he’d sort himself.

[Jim] “It is your show, Lynda!”

[Lynda] “And it’s your poem, Jim. No one else wants anything this complicated!”

Robert steps in to say that he can at least sort the computing back – and Lynda reckons she can sort the rest out from Grey Gables.

Damn that Jim!

As if Lynda needs the extra stress.

And what equipment does one need to recite a Latin poem?

Boxing Day Meet & continued Implosion at Bridge Farm 26/12/11

The Archers Monday 26th December 2011

• Freddie’s first Boxing Day Meet
• A “Sassenach feast”
• The Bridge Farm bust up
• Elizabeth and David were in the same room
• Alistair got tickets to the Olympics
• Bridge Farm bust up round 2
• Helen’s for turning

Freddie’s first Boxing Day Meet

Shula’s taking Freddie to the meet, though his thoughts obviously keep drifting onto his dad:

[Freddie] “We had a really good Christmas last year … I wish we could be riding together today”

Freddie said it in quite a happy (ish), fond way. Shula said it was good to have good memories.

Elizabeth and Lily are watching the start of the meet. Elizabeth again can’t believe how much Freddie looks like Nigel when he’s kitted out in his riding gear. Lily is slightly concerned that Freddie will get hurt.

[Elizabeth] “You don’t have to worry. Freddie’s a very good rider”

[Lily] “But he’s such an idiot!”

I learned today that one should call the riders’ coats pink, not red (!). Lily thinks they all look very smart, and that the hounds are “cut”.

[Lily] “I still don’t like the idea of them killing the fox, though”

[Elizabeth] “They’re not allowed to anymore, that’s what he was explaining, they’re just following a scent … you take after grandma, she’s never approved of hunting either”

[Lily] “I don’t understand why daddy did, he loved animals”

[Elizabeth] “It was the riding he liked really, between you and me, he used to be quite glad when the fox got away, but don’t tell Oliver”

A “Sassenach feast”

Pardon me? What is Helen on about?

[Helen to Tom] “I thought Jazzer didn’t mind doing the Christmas shift since he considers it such a Sassenach feast”

[Tom] “Well, that’s what he says but it never seems to stop him celebrating it”

Pardon moi? Since when did any Scot consider Christmas an English thing? I think you’ll find that Christianity first came to the Isles at Whithorn in Dumfries and Galloway, and Iona.

That aside, Jazzer is also dodging feeding Tom’s pigs as he reckons he has to put the finishing touches to his Christmas around the World song. We still don’t know what it is …


The Bridge Farm bust up

Seems there was a huge row at Bridge Farm after they turned off the secret microphones. The kids aren’t speaking to the parents. Seems Helen left Bridge Farm with Tom and Brenda yesterday.

[Helen] “I can’t trust myself around mum and dad at the moment”

[Tom] “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust them again … I don’t know how they have the nerve to even mention that Rich in the same breath as our Henry”

Helen and Tom feel betrayed. That Pat and Tony went behind their backs by contacting Sharon, and also meeting Rich. That they don’t care and they certainly don’t “get it”.

[Helen] “They seemed surprised we were upset”

[Tom] “Unbelievable … what they did, what they’re doing, it has so many implications for you and me and Henry … yet they’re acting as though this is a private matter between them and this Rich … don’t we count anymore? Are we suddenly outside our own family?”

[Helen] “It was awful yesterday, us shouting to mum and dad though a soundproof window and they couldn’t hear me”

[Tom] “They’ve temporarily gone mad. We’ve got to make them see sense, Helen”

The added worry is that Pat and Tony will now do something even crazier … though what, they didn’t say.

Kidnap Rich?



Elizabeth and David were in the same room

Elizabeth and the twins “didn’t have a too bad” Christmas day. They were with Shula, Alistair and Daniel at the Stables during the day, and did go to Kenton’s party at The Bull during the evening.

[Elizabeth] “They made it easy for us. David and I were able to steer clear of each other without spoiling anything”

That’s progress, I reckon.


Alistair got tickets to the Olympics

For Shula and Daniel and himself.

They didn’t say what event they’re going to see, but Elizabeth was amazed that he got something in the rather high pressured lottery, and that Alistair didn’t tell them he was successful.

[Elizabeth] “He must be good at keeping secrets”

Hmmm.


Bridge Farm bust up round 2

Tom and Helen Vs. Tony.

[Tony] “Your feelings? I don’t know how you can be so selfish … and what about your mother, have you stopped for one moment to consider what all of this is doing to her?”

[Helen] “Of course we’re thinking about mum”

[Tom] “She doesn’t seem to be thinking much about us …”

[Tony] “Oh grow up Tom! The world doesn’t revolve around you … neither of you have made the slightest effort to see things from her point of view”

Seems Pat is still in her room, sobbing.

[Tom] “For Rich. For this previous grandson that she’s only seen for 10 while minutes”

[Tony] “No … for John … he left something behind, when we thought we’d lost everything about him forever … but you’re here, both of you here, Henry here, and John never will be”

And now Rich has also gone from their lives.



Helen’s for turning

As Tom and Helen talk things through:

[Tom] “It was always going to end in tears”

[Helen] “Once they realised John had a son, they were bound to want to find out more”

[Tom] “Technically, maybe it’s true. But it doesn’t mean anything”

[Helen] “Well, that’s a bit hard”

[Tom] “I’m being realistic Helen, you of all people should understand that … let me ask you a question, do you ever think about Henry’s father?”

[Helen] “No. No I don’t. I’ve kind of forgotten he had one”

[Tom] “We all have. He’s ours now, the next Archer”

[Helen] “I see what you mean. You think that’s how Sharon and her husband feel about Rich?”

[Tom] “Of course they do, he belongs to them like Henry belongs to us”

Tom thinks Pat is deluding herself.

[Tom] “Rich existing isn’t going to bring John back”

[Helen on Tony] “What he said shocked me”

[Tom] “Emotional blackmail, more like”

[Helen] “No. It’s more complicated than that. I need to think this through”

Ah – Helen looks to be switching sides …

Christmas Day 25/12/11

The Archers Sunday 25th December 2011

• Tracey starts well
• Bridge Farm also starts well
• The Carters’ Christmas morning party
• Debbie on Panto duty
• Bridge Farm implodes

Tracey starts well

She, Brad and Chelsea have setup the Carters’ Christmas morning party while Susan and Neil were at church.

All very impressive.

Though Susan complains that they’ve set out too many crisps and peanuts, which doesn’t set the right tone.

[Susan] “What will the Aldridges think?”

Neil and Susan then seem to try and get rid of Tracey and her brood for a bit, by suggesting that they go out for a walk.

[Tracey] “A walk, on Christmas day? And miss all the fun?”

There’s a glint of mischief in Tracey’s eye …

She starts talking about the Aldridge’s and ‘Roodey’ (Ruairi). Tracey was wondering if they’d leave him with his nanny, to be told that he doesn’t have one – he’s at Boarding school.

[Tracey] “Poor mite … still I suppose it’s understandable in the circumstances …. being Brian’s love child”

Susan is horrified. She makes Tracey promise that she won’t say anything like that to Jennifer or Brian.


Bridge Farm also starts well

Henry’s first Christmas, and his favourite present (at the moment) is a train set.

Tony and Helen are also having a moment:

[Tony] “We never forget how lucky we are he’s here. Both of you are … bit different from last year, you and I barely speaking to each other”

[Helen] “Seems so silly now”

[Tony] “Well it did the moment I saw Henry, when I thought I might lose both of you”

They agree they’re both lucky, especially when they think of Elizabeth and the twins.

While they’ll be celebrating Henry’s first birthday next Monday, the other half of the Archer clan will be mourning their loss of Nigel.

Anyway – back to Christmas. Brenda, Tom, Mike, Vicky, and Kathy will be coming over to Bridge Farm later.



The Carters’ Christmas morning party

All seems to be jolly enough, but Susan is worried that Tracey had been talking to Jennifer and Brian for a long time,

[Neil] “They look quite hypnotised”

[Susan] “That’s what worrying me … I think we should go and break it up”

[Neil] “What, both of us?”

[Susan] “Well it might take two”

While they steel themselves, we eavesdrop in on Tracey’s conversation with the Aldridges.

[Tracey] “Well you know what it’s like, don’t you, well you being married 3 times, talk about a glutton for punishment!”

[Jennifer] “It’s twice, actually”

[Tracey] “Oh, yes sorry, I get confused with you having four children”

[Brian] “Five”

[Tracey] “Oh yes, counting Ruairi”

[Jennifer] “Which we do”

[Tracey] “Oh, I think that’s great, what with you not being his birth mother …”

[Brian] “Ruairi couldn’t wish for a better mother”

[Jennifer] “Oh thank you darling … I do completely think of him as my own”

[Tracey] “Pretty wonderful wife too, you’re a lucky man”

Susan would be appalled – Tracey was warned not to talk about Ruairi not being Jennifer’s by birth.

They’re all then distracted by the sight of Ruairi eating all of the canapés.

[Tracey] “Greedy?”

[Jennifer] “Sophisticated taste!”

Tracey tells Jennifer and Brian that Ruairi's only eating the canapés because Susan hid the crisps and nuts as Susan reckoned it lowered the tone … Jennifer tittered at that (Susan will be furious!). Susan then makes her interruption with Neil, he offering top ups and she apologising for the lack of canapés (Emma is on the way with more).

[Tracey] “It just shows you, people will eat anything at Christmas!”

(cheeky!)

[Tracey] “I expect he’s eating them cause he’s bored, nothing much for the children to do is there?”

Susan takes her new opportunity to get rid of Tracey, and tells her to take all of the kids upstairs to watch a DVD.

Later on, Tracey returns to say that Ruairi has been sick. Jennifer rushes off to him.

[Tracey] “It’s her son. Let her find the disinfect and the rubber gloves herself”

Tracey blames the canapés (she reckons kids shouldn’t eat them), but Susan blames the chocolate that Tracey had given him. On top of the canapés.



Debbie on Panto duty

Jennifer’s now worried about taking Ruairi and the twins, with Elizabeth, to the Panto on Monday.

I suppose she doesn’t want to have to cope with any ‘scenes’, with it being the anniversary of Nigel’s death.

So Brian suggests Debbie takes Ruairi in her place.

Sure Debbie will thank him for that (and also think twice about coming home again)



Bridge Farm implodes

Once Tom and Brenda arrive, and are talking to Helen:

[Brenda] “Tom’s determined you’re going to have a great Christmas, despite the elephant in the room”

[Tom] “That elephant’s long packed its trunk and has left our circus!”

BUT Helen now quite likes to think of John having a son.

[Helen] “A little bit of him carrying on”

Tom does not concur.

[Tom] “Dad’s right, we should be thinking about the little bit of you that’s carrying on “

Later on, as Henry is zipping about the room in his new walker (the wee toots is already trying to make it out of the door!), the while family is talking about how special Henry is. That he sat up, got his first tooth and also rolled over early. (Doesn’t every baby?)

[Helen] “Just think mum, this time last year you didn’t even have a grandson!”

To which Pat starts sobbing and runs off, much to Helen’s bemusement.

[Tom] “But she wasn’t thinking of Henry, was she dad. She was thinking of Rich!”

Tony sends Brenda off after Pat (he still doesn’t see her as being family enough to join in family discussions). Tom reckons he had smelled out that something had happened …

[Tony] “You mother and I … have seen him. Have seen Rich”

But that’s when the secret microphones are turned off. So we don’t get to hear the full implosion …

David Vs The Badgers: The Archers Monday 19th December 2011

• Will the badgers lay off of David?
• Thank goodness for Tom’s burgers
• Tony and Pat finally accept Sharon’s love for John?
• Dairy farming isn’t an exact science
• David still needs to get out more
• Bridge Farm’s new branding approved
• Elona’s husband has moved in

Will the badgers lay off of David?

Brookfield is having to keep tinkering out the slurry, cross fingers that there won’t be any flash floods (which would spread their slurry into waterways) AND pray that the badgers don’t actually keep on at the lagoon to make things even worse.

Naughty badgers.

Still, might just be revenge (served very cold, and smelly, indeed).

David was also talking to Tom about what his and Tony’s take would be on the badger vaccination that Oliver is so keen on. Tom and Tony would be interested and supportive, so there’s enough folks saying ‘yes’ to call a NFU meeting in the New Year.

[David] “Why am I expending all this energy on an animal that’s doing its best to ruin our business, I don’t know”

[Tom] “It’s because you’re all heart, David”

Thank goodness for Tom’s burgers

Seems Ruth and David’s kids will be very relieved that Tom has dropped off a batch of his burgers.

After so many days of supermarket pizza, it’ll be good for them to get some variation in their diet.


Tony and Pat finally accept Sharon’s love for John?

[Pat] “I can’t forget his smile Tony … it was John … so much about him was John, I think I’ll buy him a little present …”

[Tony] “We’ve made an agreement”

[Pat] “We’ve seen him Tony, John’s boy. There’s a part of him still out there in the world”

And blow me down – Tony then said that he thinks Sharon must have indeed love John after all, since she named their son after him.

Pat actually sounds quite calm. They’re both glad they met Rich/John. And they both seem to accept that they won’t see him again until he decides.

[Pat] “We can only hope he’ll come find us”

Dairy farming isn’t an exact science

Not according to Tom.

He’s comparing notes with David. Though milk prices have cropped up again, it’s still not among David’s herd yield any more milk.

But – David’s beef herd and sheep doing okay.

[David] “There’s still something to be said for mixed farming, just like my dad used to say”

David still needs to get out more

Tom suggests to David that he come on Will’s stag night.

[Ruth] “There you are David, a curry and a good laugh what more do you want?”

But David would rather have a DVD and an early night.


Bridge Farm’s new branding approved

The new Ambridge Organics brand has met with everyone’s approval. Seems it’s modern, clean lines with strong colours.

And Ambridge Organics, the shop, is up at the moment. Though they reckon some of that is due to folks giving themselves a Christmas treat, it may also suggest that they were right to go with that as the brand (though the ‘organics’ bit will be downplayed).

So Pat and Tony reckon well done Tom and Helen.

(I still think Tom’s an arse for pushing ahead with the Tom Archer’s bran, abandoning Bridge Farm, and the rest of his family …)


Elona’s husband has moved in

Thinks Tom. A bloke has been seen with a van, moving what seems to be his stuff into No.3

So far, Elona does seem to be a good ‘un. No complaints from Tom and Brenda having her and her teenage girls as neighbours. And she saved the day when Peggy twisted her ankle.

Wonder if he husband Darrell will change all that.

Say Hello to John’s son: The Archers Sunday 18th December 2011

• Fallon’s starting to worry me
• Lynda’s not good on step ladders
• Pat’s panicking
• Lynda doesn’t seem impressed with Nic’s hen do
• When Tony and Pat met Rich …

Fallon’s starting to worry me

She really doesn’t seem to have any life beyond working at The Bull. So much so that she’s willing to give all time possible to helping Lynda with Christmas around the World.

[Fallon] “It’s nice to get away for a bit. Manic Christmas parties all the time”

What about a night out? Go round a mate’s? Band practice?

At least she does have Nic’s hen night to look forward to.


Lynda’s not good on step ladders

Lucky she has Fallon.

Today, they’re digging out staging from under the stage and hanging it ahead of rehearsals.. Lynda particularly wants stage flats to mock up marble columns.

[Lynda] “It will give a whole thing a touch of grandeur, perfect for Jim’s recitation”

Seems Ian has the food well in hand.

[Lynda] “He says I should think of the food courses as performers, writing their cues and their exits”

Fallon even now offers to help Lynda with the favours for the performers. As well as doing the staging and serving the food.

Too much time weighs heavily on a young lady …



Pat’s panicking

In case she and Tony have got the wrong owl.

She also wants to stay put until Sharon, Eamon and Rich arrive. But that’s an hour away.

Tony manages to drag her round the market stalls. He finds some “little glass angels” for the tree, which he reckons Henry will adore.

[Tony] “Henry’s first Christmas make it a good one, though Henry won’t remember”

Seems like Pat also has a bad memory.

She already has one grandson …



Lynda doesn’t seem impressed with Nic’s hen do

Fallon's telling Lynda about Nic’s do, and that it’ll involve a pink stretch limo with a bar, music:

[Fallon] “Plus a poncy driver”

[Lynda] “Oh, how delightfully vulgar”

[Fallon] “Yeah! … Poor girl’s about to marry a gamekeeper. She deserves a bit of glitz. It will be all mud and feathers from now on”

(even though Nic already lives with Will, so mud and feather feature heavily in her life. But point taken)



When Tony and Pat met Rich …

2.30pm.

Sharon, Eamon and Rich arrive at the golden owl.

(tony did have the right one)

[Tony, trying to act surprised] “Hello. Hello Sharon”

[Sharon] “Pat and Tony Archer. I don’t believe it”

Tony does then direct a few questions at Rich. Rich seemed like a nice lad who was happy to natter. He’s an overview of what john’s son said:

[Rich] “Hi – yeah, she’s loads older than me – Lancaster, she likes it there – yeah, I go to training, some of have been in the county trials – thanks, it was great – bowler – any sport really, and science, biology mainly, quite like to be a wildlife conservationist – can we get on now – good, I’m starving”

Eamon takes Rich off to get some food.

[Sharon] “There, You’ve seen him. Are you happy now?”

[Pat] “He’s a lovely boy”

[Sharon] “You don’t have to sound so surprised!”

[Pat] “We’re not. He’s a credit to you”

[Sharon] “Me and Eamon”

[Pat] “Oh Sharon, thank you”

[Sharon] “I don’t want thanking. It’s done now anyway”

[Pat] “I don’t suppose there’s any chance …”

[Sharon] “Don’t play games with me Pat, you agreed with Eamon, one meeting only …”

Which Tony quickly concurs with to shush Pat and not annoy Sharon any further.

Pat asks Sharon if Rich took Eamon’s last name – which he did – Phillips.

And Sharon drops a bombshell.

Rich is just his nickname.

His real name is … John.

The entire Horrobin clan, a golden owl and bad badgers: The Archers Friday 16th December 2011

• Ruairi’s back
• Christmas morn with the Carters
• No Debbie for Christmas
• “Welcome to the holidays!”
• Next to the golden owl …
• Bad badgers!
• Tony knows how to check browser history
• Tony makes a confession

Ruairi’s back

And off to see the Buttons.

[Brian] “Don’t tell me he’s started chasing after Molly!”

Typical first thought from Brian.

Ruairi’s off to see their cousin, who happens to also goes to his school.

Seems Ruairi has enjoyed his first term. Maths and football are his favourite so far – though Brian reckons he’s realise how wonderful rugby is when he gets to it (as it’s a “real game”).

Jennifer and Brian are also only putting up their tree today, and a festive wreath that Jennifer made.



Christmas morn with the Carters

Brian was blissfully unaware that he and Jennifer will be spending Christmas morning at the Carters. Obviously Alice and Chris will be there, as well as the rest of their family.

[Brian] “The entire Horrobin clan? All my Christmases come at home … as long as she doesn’t bother with parmesan breadsticks again …”

Brian’s wish is unlikely to come true. Neil had been previously complaining of having to taste the parmesan breadstick attempts.


No Debbie for Christmas

But she’ll be back in Ambridge for Hogmanay.

I’d normally think that was a shame, but I’m not as keen on Debbie since she started all of the Super Dairy nonsense. Which is more about how she took Brian’s side over Adam than me actually taking sides.

Anyhoo, Brian was later on the phone to Debbie. They were mainly talking business, but he also reported to Jennifer that Debbie was not in a “persuadable mood” (so definite no to Christmas). On business:

[Brian] “She doesn’t appreciate the heavy lifting I’m doing back here … I’d like to see her get the idea of complete confidentiality into Pete Wilkes’ head, but I’m not sure it’s possible without surgery”

“Welcome to the holidays!”

So says David.

But don’t worry – he’s not becoming Americanised. He was talking to Pip, who is on her first day of her Uni holidays. So he meant it literally.


Next to the golden owl …

Is where Pat and Tony are to meet Eamon, Sharon … and Rich.

Eamon calls Tony to say that Sharon’s starting to get cold feet about them meeting Rich, so they need to rush on. It has to be this Sunday.

They’re to meet at Leeds Christmas Market, at the Civic Hall, next to the golden owl on a pedestal (the one on the right).

Eamon also stipulates that Tony and Pat cannot make Rich uncomfortable by “staring at him, and the like”:

[Eamon] “She (Sharon) doesn’t trust you to hold your peace … when it’s over, it’s over … If you don’t play straight with us about that we’ll put our side of the story to him and I doubt he’ll ever want to meet you again after that”

Tony hasn’t even told Pat that he called Sharon, spoke to Eamon, who then called back to say that they could meet Rich (only once, very briefly, with Sharon and Eamon and they have to pretend that they’re just old friends). He thinks it’ll be hard to make Pat understand all of these stipulations.



Bad badgers!

Environmental Health has been to Brookfield. They have approved Brookfield to spread their slurry (deregation) but:

[David] “I should have been monitoring the situation much more closely, apparently”

[Pip] “How? Have a webcam in the badger set?”

Seems it has been proved that it was badgers who damaged the slurry lagoon – the damage is right in line with their set.

[David] “Lining it is going to cost £20,000 and we’ll have to get permission to disturb the badgers, can you believe it?”

[Pip] “Well, they didn’t get permission to disturb us!”

Seriously. All badgers to evacuate Brookfield land immediately and head to Grange Farm. Will be far safer.


Tony knows how to check browser history

Tony knew that Pat had been checking schools to see if she could track down Rich.

[Tony] “I wasn’t snooping but you didn’t clear the history the last time”

Well, sounds like snooping to me.

And how did Tony learn to do that?


Tony makes a confession

As well as snooping on Pat, Tony also has to admit that he called Sharon, and they are now to meet Rich on Sunday, With very strict stipulations.

[Tony] “We’re allowed to see him, say hello, but that’s it. We can never get in touch again”

[Pat] “I want him to know about us. About John … That’s wicked”

[Tony] “I think they’re frightened about what might happen to their family”

[Pat] “But it’s so little, Tony”

You’ll have to behave, Pat. It is a little, but it’s all that’s on offer.

A slurry coloured Christmas at Brookfield: The Archers Thursday 15th December 2011

• All because of badgers?
• Lynda takes advantage of Fallon (and she likes it)
• Molly and Tilly Button’s coconut dance
• Now Lynda’s making Fallon scream!
• Pat and Tony will get to meet Rich

All because of badgers?

There’s a slurry leak at Brookfield.

[David] “If it’s going in the brook as well, it’s a disaster”

Seems ‘something’ has given way in the slurry lagoon, and its leaking slurry.

[Clem – some bloke who know about fixing slurry lagoons] “You might be right about the badgers” 

It hasn’t reach Hayden Brook as yet (well, there’s no dead fish to be seen at the moment). They’ll need to drain the lagoon to see where the problem is.

[Bert] “It could be worse David. At least the herd’s only been inside for a couple of weeks. A similar thing happened in your father’s days …”

(David stops Bert there – they don’t have time for reminiscence)

Clem rings round other farms to see if they can take on extra slurry so that David can drain the lagoon, but has no luck. Something to do with new NVZ regulations, which means everyone wants to be sure they have enough capacity for their own slurry.

So – David will now have to phone the Environmental Agency for an EA for deregation (or something like that – not my area of expertise). He needs to have their agreement that he can spread slurry, as long as it’s well away from water. He’s got to be able to drain the slurry somewhere.

[David] “You know what gets me, even if I do play by the book, I still might end up getting fined … Don’t you just love dairy. At the moment it’s just one problem after another.”

David also made another mention of badgers:

[David] “The damn badgers got busy!”

As if badgers needed any new bad press with David.

Though how badgers got into a slurry lagoon to make it leak, only David can explain.

Notice to all badgers: stay away from Brookfield. Grange Farm is a safer bet …


Lynda takes advantage of Fallon (and she likes it)

[Lynda] “I hope you don’t feel I’m taking advantage …”

Fallon says she isn’t, but is also more than happy to be roped into sorting out the scenery and staging of Christmas Around the World.

Poor Fallon.

She seems to have a lot of time on her hands.


Molly and Tilly Button’s coconut dance

Is that an appropriate dance for two children to do in public?

More worryingly:

[Fallon] “Have we got extreme event insurance?”

Now Lynda’s making Fallon scream!

Lynda seemed very keen for Fallon to go into her and Robert’s living room.

Which Fallon does.

And screams when she does so.

[Lynda] “Oh no. Not her as well!”

Later on, once Fallon has calmed down:

[Fallon] “Sorry about the little scream earlier … it was that hideous gleam in his eyes when I walked in”

[Lynda] “Hideous, rather than endearing?”

[Fallon] “Terrifying”

[Lynda] “Oh, what if I have him peeping over a little holly hedge, perhaps with a jaunty red ribbon tied to one tusk … doesn’t conjure up images of the frozen north and Santa’s workshop”

[Fallon] “He’d only go there to eat the elves!”

[Lynda] “Oh dear … never ,mind, you’re not alone in your opinion … unfortunately no-one’s taken him to heart”

[Fallon] “Table decorations are very subjective, Lynda”

[Lynda] “Far from it. Everyone seems to like Vicky’s effort, whereas they all seem to think my centre piece is thoroughly repulsive”

And with Oscar (and his parents, of course) coming up for Christmas, Lynda also doesn’t want to risk scaring the beejesus out of him as well.

[Lynda] “So I’m afraid it’s back to the attic for my little walrus”

Aw. That’s a shame.

Bless Lynda and her creative quirks. She really isn’t appreciated.


Pat and Tony will get to meet Rich

Tony gets a shock with Eamon calls him.

Seems Eamon has talked to Sharon:

[Eamon] “You can imagine how she reacted …”

[Tony] “So it’s a no?”

[Eamon] “That’s up to you Tony … first of all, you need to know that I’ve sweated blood over this, okay …

“me and Sharon talked it right through. To be frank, we wished you’d never got in touch. But, we’re prepared to let you and your wife see Rich once and once only .. and there are conditions Tony.

“You need to understand we’re not really doing it for your sake, we’re doing it for our boy. Like I told Sharon,. He won’t be happy if he does ever want to know about his blood family and he finds out we stopped his grandparents getting in touch. That is the only reason we’re saying yes … and it’s got to happen on our terms, or not at all”

The terms are that Sharon and Eamon will be with Rich the whole time. That it’ll be a very short meeting, in public. And that Tony and Pat can only say they’re old friends of Sharon’s – they’re expressly forbidden from saying that they’re Rich’s grandparents.

[Eamon] “If you ever look like you’re going to talk about his blood father, we’ll walk away … I’m not having him shaken up … it’s not only your wife suffering here, Sharon’s completely ripped up by this, and we didn’t want anything of this remember

"That’s it. A one shot deal. So make you mind up Tony, yes or no?”

[Tony] “Yes”

So, Eamon will call back with a when/where when he and Sharon are ready.

Tony was right to say yes straight away, before they changed their minds, but wonder if Pat will be happy with that?

Even if not – surely this can only help? It’ll at least stop Pat wondering.

Or, will it be a case of a little is most definitely not enough?

Neil stinks of garlic: The Archers Wednesday 14th December 2011

• Neil’s odour is a bit much for morning
• Nic asked Joe?
• Joe’s not a fan of a good walk spoiled …
• Christmas is coming; the Grundys’ turkeys have got fat
• Trouble ahead for the stag and hen dos?
• Ed and Emma have got some nerve!
• Carol singers
• Kathy tells Pat an emphatic ‘No’

Neil’s odour is a bit much for morning

[Tom] “You’ve got a serious garlic habit going on there”

Seems Susan has been testing out recipes for nibbles. They’re having a family drinks party on Christmas morning.

So Neil has also been having canapés for breakfast, as well as lunch and dinner.

He’s hoping the parmesan breadsticks won’t be appearing again.

[Neil] “I don't have the heart to tell her, but you’d be better off chewing firewood”

It’s almost as if Neil has just met Susan sometimes … he knows it’ll be better to tell her now than let her suffer embarrassment publically.

Anyhoo, Neil reckons she’s making a song and dance out of what should be just a simple get together. Crisps nuts and booze should be on the menu – with enough booze so that folks forget what they’re eating.

Not so sure that’s a good approach for so early on Christmas day, but I suppose when it comes to Susan, Neil just wants a path of least resistance/hassle/potential of anything going wrong.


Nic asked Joe?

Kathy’s round at the Grundys’ while Clarrie is getting bits of Nic and Will’s wedding cake ready.

Joe also proudly tells Kathy that Nic asked him and Bartley to take her and Will round the Green after they’re married.

Ah Nic. A diplomat to the point where Joe now thinks she asked him.

Kathy doesn’t seem to be too overawed by the trap Joe’s built.

[Kathy] “Oh yes, it’s very … striking”

[Joe] “Flame orange, that’s what they calls that particular shade. I reckons that will set her dress off very nicely”

Joe’s not a fan of a good walk spoiled …

… and also seems to be taking the Michael out of Kathy for working at a golf club.

[Joe] “Do you actually do any work up at the Golf Club this time of year, Kathy Perks?”

After Kathy’s left:

[Joe] “Golf, haggis and Jazzer McCreary, Scotland’s got a lot to answer for”

Aye – but he left out the Enlightenment, modern surgery, photography, whisky, Alex Ferguson and TV … actually, forget I mentioned the last one …


Christmas is coming; the Grundys’ turkeys have got fat

So are set for being killed and plucked tomorrow.


Trouble ahead for the stag and hen dos?

Not sure how, but Nic and Will have managed to clash their stag and hen dos on the same night.

Would have thought Fallon and Roy would have organised enough to have avoided that.

I still can’t get it out of mind that as Will’s last experience of a hen do was horrific (Emma slept with Ed, though Will didn’t know it at the time), any sign of trouble is bound to be more than it should.


Ed and Emma have got some nerve!

I agree with Joe.

Ed and Emma shouldn’t be asking Clarrie to mind their kids while Emma goes back to work.

Clarrie needs to have time to find work for herself, and shouldn’t be used as a service babysitter. They should at least offer to pay her.

Nic and Will seem to manage well enough …

But Clarrie doesn’t mind, She actually seems to be delighted, especially as she doesn’t have high hopes of finding a job.

[Clarrie] “If a miracle like that does happen, they’ll just have to sort summit else out … I were pleased to be asked. I’ll enjoy spending more time with little Keira. And it’s nice my family still need me”

Carol singers

[Joe] “Only four or five of them but they made a decent racket”

It’s Alan’s lot, making the rounds through Ambridge to get a bit of practise in before Christmas Around the World.


Kathy tells Pat an emphatic ‘No’

Pat’s bending Kathy’s ear while Kathy’s at work. (just so happens Joe was right – she didn’t seem to be up to much else at that point).

Kathy’s chatting about helping with the preparing and serving of the food at Christmas Around the World, when Pat interrupts:

[Pat] “Is it hard to find out where a child goes to school? … Perhaps if I knew, I could drive up one afternoon”

[Kathy] “I understand why you want to, but you mustn’t”

Good god – Pat’s going to get arrested for stalking a 13 year old!

She reckons she just wants to say hello, but Kathy is quite rightly against it. She tells Pat that she’s too mixed up in herself, and can only make the situation even worse.

[Kathy] “If you do that you’ll make Sharon furious ...and you make turn Rich against you … imagine the shock, a grandmother he never knew he had appearing from nowhere”

[Pat] “He might be pleased to see me. To find out there are other people who care about him”

[Kathy] “It’ll turn everything he knows about himself upside down. Who he is. Who his family are … You could, do real damage to who he feels about himself”

[Pat] “But else am I ever going to see him?”

[Kathy, very reluctant to have to say this] “Perhaps that won’t be possible …”

[Pat] “I can’t bear the thought, I simply can’t bear it … I know what you’re saying makes sense, you’re tight, I shouldn’t go near him … It’s impossible Kathy, the questions keep going round and round in my head, if I saw him they might stop”

[Kathy] “Or you’ll make things far worse, for him and for you”

[Pat] “It’s the only hope I’ve got. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I have to see him”

[Kathy] “It can only make a dreadful situation even worse. Please don’t do it”

Kathy is absolutely right that Pat isn’t in a state of mind to do anything at the moment. She’s obsessing about Rich to the point where she can’t think clearly.

But then again – will Pat ever be able to move on if she can’t meet him? How else can she stop herself thinking?

A mini-John is too much for Pat to cope with.