Pondering The Archers: jill archer

Susan and Ed had a nice Christmas

Susan’s up early tidying, Ed’s up early for milking.

He lends a hand, but isn’t much use. He doesn’t know where anything goes.

They both reckons yesterday was really nice. The kids certainly had a grand time.

[Susan] “Lovely to see their little faces, opening their presents.”

Ruth’s being a witch to her cows

But it’s alright. She still have the upmost respect and love for her cow.

She’s just practising for the Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza.

Ed’s scared of computers

Well, at least he admits it.

Though quite a unique thing for a chap his age.

Ed knows Neil’s had a word with Ruth, so he now asks Ruth to show him dairy accountancy programmes.

She reckons he’ll save time, money and worry. Though it might look complicated, once he gets the hang, it’ll become second nature.

Even the Village Shop is open

There’s a sign of the times.

It’s only open until lunchtime, but even still. It’s a shame folks can’t cope with shops for more than 1 day.

Absolutely everything shuts down in deepest Galloway, where I live. And quite right too!

Anyhoo, Jim reckons they’ll be busy selling indigestion tablets.

Jill mixes her pies up again

Jim has to spit his own. His brain can’t accept that it’s real mince when he thought it to be sweet.

Jazzer doesn’t mind.

His brain will accept any food.

Jim reckons “dull but worthy”

Oh dear. He doesn’t have high hopes for the Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza being anything other than a bit of a damp squib.

Kenton begs to differ.

He reckons Jim will be “pleasantly surprised”

[Jim] “I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re taking her side, you seem to be an accolade of hers recently.”

Meow!

Memories of Bob Pullen

[Jill] “I’ve just had a call from the hospital. It’s Mr Pullen. He’s dead.”

Jill’s very shook up. Kenton gets her a brandy.

We obviously knew Bob hadn’t been well over the last few weeks, but even Jill didn’t expect him to go this quickly.

[Jill] “Dear old Bob.”

[Kenton] “Mind you, he could be a cantankerous at times!”

Though Bob had a lot to contend with, according to Jill. What with being deaf and having bladder issues.

[Jill] “I remember though, he really laid into some chap one year for hogging the portaloo at the fate.”

Jim had a story Jazzer told him about Bob. “The great Ambridge Talent Show prize debacle. Seems Bob won his category for playing the spoons, Jazzer won his for singing. Jazzer got a hamper from Ambridge Organics, Bob got dinner for 2 at Grey Gables.

Jazzer wanted to swap so that he could take a lady, but Bob refused.

[Jim] “He turned up at Grey Gables and demanded Caroline convert his prize from one dinner for two into two dinners for one!”

[Kenton] “I think that we should all raise out glasses to a real character.”

And they reckon someone should tell Joe.

[Jim] “He’s going to be very interested …He’s now the village elder.”

Which I suppose will be a sad, happy and scary thing for Joe …

Susan’s not going to judge Ed

Susan’s having to accept that her house will no longer be pristine, with Ed, Emma and the kids around. Though she thinks they’ll need to adopt a code word for when she’s starting to lose the plot …

Ed’s ever so grateful to her for making the chance to her life, and sharing their home with them.

[Ed] “I know I’ve let her down … I’m going to do everything I can to get us back on our feet.”

Susan says she’s know that. And she can see how much Ed loves Emma and the kids, and how much Emma loves Ed.

[Susan] “I don’t want you to feel I;m judging you … with my family, what right have I got … New year, new start.”

Jazzer sings his bawdy tale: Thurs 20.12.12 #thearchers

The Archers Thursday 20 December 2012

Elizabeth chooses weddings
Pip’s looking for woolly hats
Jazzer sings his song for Lynda
Is Joe’s farmer’s cough fake?
Like hen’s teeth, but actually Joe’s teeth in a turkey
Bob Pullen still isn’t well
Wolfgang has pneumonia
Jill’s the unsung hero. Again.
“Quite something to be spending Christmas day in a stately home.”
Lynda doesn’t like to say I told you so
Bad memories for Eddie

Elizabeth chooses weddings

Fair do.

It’s a way to converts the dairy into a profitable business that’s in keeping with lower Loxley … but I still think it’s a bit of a gamble.

Pip’s looking for woolly hats

But, according to Jill, she’s looking for bargains.

Pip’s seemingly endless supply of ready cash for the ski holiday must have dried up.

Jazzer sings his song for Lynda

[Jim] “Jazzer’s worried Lynda might find it a bit more bawdy than she’s expecting … this is an noble, medieval tradition.”

[Eddie] “Of filth!”

But I failed to hear what was rude about Jazzer’s ditty.

Jim had to ask Lynda to be gentle on Jazzer. He’d been practising his song, and was also taking Latin lessons from Jim.

I didn’t get the whole of Jazzer’s ditty down, but it was along the lines of: There was a friar of old green - offered the nun to learn her to sing - groped with flattery.

I didn’t really hear anything risqué. Every for Elizabethan times.

But, Lynda seemed to find it a tad full on.

[Lynda] “I don’t know what to say. It was very, tuneful. You sang with great gusto Jazzer.”

[Jazzer] “Is that a good thing?”

I’d suppose so.

Is Joe’s farmer’s cough fake?
Surely not (!!!).

Though Jazzer reckons it is.

Joe’s farmer’s cough seems to get worse when he’s sat on the village green, selling mistletoe and holly.

Jazzer reckons he just does it to get people to feel sorry for him, and buy.

[Joe] “I don’t care if they feel sorry, as long as they buys it.”

Like hen’s teeth, but actually Joe’s teeth in a turkey

I kid you not.

Clarrie (who is still very silent) found some of Joe’s false teeth in a turkey.

It was the ones he’d lost apple day. They must have gone into the crusher, been crushed, then eaten up by a turkey.

[Joe] “Two of them grinning up at her when she opened the bird, gave her quite a fright!”

Joe thinks it’s hilarious. Eddie not so funny.

He’s desperately trying to keep Joe’s voice down so that folks who have bought turkeys don’t start demanding refunds.

Bob Pullen still isn’t well

[Jill] “It’s a shame, just before Christmas too.”

Indeed.

And at his age (well, well over 90? Certainly older than Joe),

Wolfgang has pneumonia

But Lynda is taking good care of him.

So, not to worry.

Jill’s the unsung hero. Again.

First off, she’s secretly helping Kenton with whatever Kenton is up to.

[Jill] “Kenton’s making me nervous. You know what he’s like”

And she’s doing a stunning job on the food, and also with Kathy on the decorations.

[Lynda] “The Gingerbread stars are a masterstroke!”

“Quite something to be spending Christmas day in a stately home.”

I’m absolutely stunned that Jim Lloyd said that.

He puts himself across as such a democrat (in the old sense of the world).

Still, he and Christine have been invited to Lower Loxley with the rest of the Jill side of the Archer clan … so I suppose it would be churlish to not be excited.

Lynda doesn’t like to say I told you so

But he does do it, sometimes.

She’s revelling in being right about having told Jim not to trust Borchester Life.

[Lynda] “I didn’t think the rash of green grocer’s apostrophes was your work.”

[Jim] “Is that supposed to be funny?”

Poor Jim.

Bad memories for Eddie
Ed and Emma having to move out of Rickyard reminds Eddie of when he and the rest of the Grundys were evicted from Grange Farm, all those years ago.

[Joe] “Ambridge View though lad, it ain't like having to go to Meadow Rise.”

[Eddie] “It's the shame. Feeling you can’t provide for your family … I feel like I failed him too.”

Joe coaches that all they need to do is focus on helping Ed and his family from hereon.

[Joe] “we'll all have to do our best to set them back on their feet, won’t we?”