Pondering The Archers: john archer

Uncle Tom not interested?

Though the coke and lemonade are on the ready, with Pat, tony and Helen nervously trying to prepare for Rich’s arrival, Tom heads out to feed the pigs.

[Tom] “Don’t worry mum. I’ll catch him later. If I get the chance”

Really Tom? Surely that’s a jest.

Eamon sounds like a nice chap

Just as Eamon and Rich are driving up to Bridge Farm, Eamon stops the car.

[Eamon] “it’s a good place to turn around, if you want to. Remember you’re the boss this morning .. it’s all happened so fat … believe me, no one will blame you if you change your mind”

[Rich] “It’s okay dad. I want to do this”

Good man.

He was also very calm and friendly during the visit, which couldn’t have been an easy one for him to have made. Rich is his boy.

First proper bee inspection

With Jill and Josh.

Though Josh is now getting too big for the bee suit Jill’s given him. He might have to get his own.

Jill was telling Josh to have patience as they are smoking the bees.

[Jill] “Let word spread it’s a forest fire before we open up”

[Pat] “One day they’ll work up it’s not really a fire!”

Jill reckons not.

And all seems well with the bees.

[Jill] “The bees have done well this winter.”

When Rich met his grandparents

[Eamon] “ This is it. These are your grandparents”

They all say help, and Rich says “nice to meet you”.

One of the first things Eamon asks on Rich’s behalf if a photo of John.

During Rich’s visit, he learns that bacon comes from pigs. That John was a good businessman (started up the pigs when he was 17), and was also a DJ.

As they were out walking.

[Rich] “Did he die near here?”

Tad morbid, but fair of him to ask. But Pat had taken them round the farm a different way.

Rich seemed to enjoy hanging out with Tom while he was dealing with a pig who had lost its yellow tag.

[Rich] “It’s what my father did, isn’t it … mum said he was good at it”

[Tom] “I expect that seems a bit weird. Most people don’t like pigs”

[Rich] “Sounds like a really cool guy”

Rich offers to help Tom, but he’s got his best jacket on. Though he sounds quite keen in helping out “next time”. That’s a good sign.

Back in the farm house, they’ve had lunch, and time to leave.

[Rich] “The ice cream was awesome!”

And he also liked the pigs, and farms.

[Rich] “They’re pretty cool. Once you get used to the smell”

(aha! He likes the pigs and the ice cream. This bodes well. Though Tom, Helen and Henry might not agree … inheritance split ahoy!)

As he’s leaving, Rich asked for a picture of John (he chose the one of him doing his DJ stuff), and also gave Pat a hug (though Eamon encouraged him to do so, he was quite glad to).

[Pat] “Isn’t it wonderful. Absolutely wonderful!”

Yay.

All’s well then.

For now.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Kylie’s back 20.02.12

The Archers Monday 20th February 2012

There’s somebody at the door
Tony’s avoiding Tom
Now Helen wants to meet Rich?

There’s somebody at the door

It’s Kylie to see Bert.

She reckons she can read and visit him at the same time. (she’s back in Ambridge as she has a reading week from Uni).

[Bert] “The first one in the family to go to a u-niversity”

Bert’s very proud of his granddaughter. Especially considering she’s Clive’s daughter, who, Bert reckons, has “led a life of ruin”.

Wonder where Clive got his naughty habits from?

As Bert is chatting to kylie, he mentions that Gary hasn’t got out of his pit yet, and:

[Bert] “Eh, that’s his washing there”

So Kylie goes to put it in the washing machine for them …

Bert’s a crafty auld yin alright. And he’s very much looking forward to Tracey moving in. though I suspect that’s more to do with Bert having a cook and cleaner, rather than him getting to spend more time with his daughter and grandkids (as he claims).

But Bert also still has his eye on Neil.

He calls Neil to mention that “poor old Gary” hasn’t had his room done. So maybe Neil could come back and do it as well.

We didn’t get to hear Neil’s reply …

Tony’s avoiding Tom

After shouting at him yesterday.

Now Helen wants to meet Rich?

Kylie turns up at Bridge Farm to say hello.

She seems to be fine about Tony and Pat constantly shifting the conversation back to Rich.

Helen was behaving a bit oddly. At one point, she complimented Kylie on her earring – and how they matched her eyes … eh?

Anyhoo, Kylie is happy to be back at bridge Farm.

[Kylie] “Hey I remember this kitchen. It was always really warm in here”

Tony reckons that was because she was used to living in the caravan.

After Kylie has left to get a lift back to the village with Helen:

[Tony] “Thank god she didn’t inherit Clive’s genes”

[Pat] “She’s a sweetie”

In the car with Helen, Kylie is saying she remembers “uncle John” and his music decks.

She also tells Helen that Sharon has never encouraged Rich to find out about John because she’s so protective of him.

[Kylie] “He is curious … that he sometimes wonders where he’s come from … rich would
still like to know about his real father, he’s said it to me more than once”

But, Rich has got to the age where he doesn’t seriously want to ask his mum to let him find out more.

[Kylie] “I don’t mind. But it’s not very fair on Rich … I feel sad he’s missing out on knowing Tony and Pat. They’re so lovely”

[Helen] “They’re aching to get to know Rich Kylie. So am I … John meant everything to me … his death has left a terrible scar on the family, a scar Rich might be able to help heal one day”

[Kylie] “That’s a big ask for a little lad”

Sensing Kylie might be an ally, Helen asks her if she’ll speak to Sharon. Or, if she herself (Helen) should talk to Sharon.

[Kylie] “I’m sorry. But she’s not going to change her mind about this. Trust me”

Ah – but Kylie has shown herself to be a possible in.

And I’m surprised Helen now sounds just as keen as Pat and Tony for Rich to be a real part of the family.

As we all know, what Helen wants, Helen generally gets.

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

A slurry coloured Christmas at Brookfield: The Archers Thursday 15th December 2011

All because of badgers?
Lynda takes advantage of Fallon (and she likes it)
Molly and Tilly Button’s coconut dance
Now Lynda’s making Fallon scream!
Pat and Tony will get to meet Rich

All because of badgers?

There’s a slurry leak at Brookfield.

[David] “If it’s going in the brook as well, it’s a disaster”

Seems ‘something’ has given way in the slurry lagoon, and its leaking slurry.

[Clem – some bloke who know about fixing slurry lagoons] “You might be right about the badgers”

It hasn’t reach Hayden Brook as yet (well, there’s no dead fish to be seen at the moment). They’ll need to drain the lagoon to see where the problem is.

[Bert] “It could be worse David. At least the herd’s only been inside for a couple of weeks. A similar thing happened in your father’s days …”

(David stops Bert there – they don’t have time for reminiscence)

Clem rings round other farms to see if they can take on extra slurry so that David can drain the lagoon, but has no luck. Something to do with new NVZ regulations, which means everyone wants to be sure they have enough capacity for their own slurry.

So – David will now have to phone the Environmental Agency for an EA for deregation (or something like that – not my area of expertise). He needs to have their agreement that he can spread slurry, as long as it’s well away from water. He’s got to be able to drain the slurry somewhere.

[David] “You know what gets me, even if I do play by the book, I still might end up getting fined … Don’t you just love dairy. At the moment it’s just one problem after another.”

David also made another mention of badgers:

[David] “The damn badgers got busy!”

As if badgers needed any new bad press with David.

Though how badgers got into a slurry lagoon to make it leak, only David can explain.

Notice to all badgers: stay away from Brookfield. Grange Farm is a safer bet …

Lynda takes advantage of Fallon (and she likes it)

[Lynda] “I hope you don’t feel I’m taking advantage …”

Fallon says she isn’t, but is also more than happy to be roped into sorting out the scenery and staging of Christmas Around the World.

Poor Fallon.

She seems to have a lot of time on her hands.

Molly and Tilly Button’s coconut dance

Is that an appropriate dance for two children to do in public?

More worryingly:

[Fallon] “Have we got extreme event insurance?”

Now Lynda’s making Fallon scream!

Lynda seemed very keen for Fallon to go into her and Robert’s living room.

Which Fallon does.

And screams when she does so.

[Lynda] “Oh no. Not her as well!”

Later on, once Fallon has calmed down:

[Fallon] “Sorry about the little scream earlier … it was that hideous gleam in his eyes when I walked in”

[Lynda] “Hideous, rather than endearing?”

[Fallon] “Terrifying”

[Lynda] “Oh, what if I have him peeping over a little holly hedge, perhaps with a jaunty red ribbon tied to one tusk … doesn’t conjure up images of the frozen north and Santa’s workshop”

[Fallon] “He’d only go there to eat the elves!”

[Lynda] “Oh dear … never ,mind, you’re not alone in your opinion … unfortunately no-one’s taken him to heart”

[Fallon] “Table decorations are very subjective, Lynda”

[Lynda] “Far from it. Everyone seems to like Vicky’s effort, whereas they all seem to think my centre piece is thoroughly repulsive”

And with Oscar (and his parents, of course) coming up for Christmas, Lynda also doesn’t want to risk scaring the beejesus out of him as well.

[Lynda] “So I’m afraid it’s back to the attic for my little walrus”

Aw. That’s a shame.

Bless Lynda and her creative quirks. She really isn’t appreciated.

Pat and Tony will get to meet Rich

Tony gets a shock with Eamon calls him.

Seems Eamon has talked to Sharon:

[Eamon] “You can imagine how she reacted …”

[Tony] “So it’s a no?”

[Eamon] “That’s up to you Tony … first of all, you need to know that I’ve sweated blood over this, okay …

“me and Sharon talked it right through. To be frank, we wished you’d never got in touch. But, we’re prepared to let you and your wife see Rich once and once only .. and there are conditions Tony.

“You need to understand we’re not really doing it for your sake, we’re doing it for our boy. Like I told Sharon,. He won’t be happy if he does ever want to know about his blood family and he finds out we stopped his grandparents getting in touch. That is the only reason we’re saying yes … and it’s got to happen on our terms, or not at all”

The terms are that Sharon and Eamon will be with Rich the whole time. That it’ll be a very short meeting, in public. And that Tony and Pat can only say they’re old friends of Sharon’s – they’re expressly forbidden from saying that they’re Rich’s grandparents.

[Eamon] “If you ever look like you’re going to talk about his blood father, we’ll walk away … I’m not having him shaken up … it’s not only your wife suffering here, Sharon’s completely ripped up by this, and we didn’t want anything of this remember

"That’s it. A one shot deal. So make you mind up Tony, yes or no?”

[Tony] “Yes”

So, Eamon will call back with a when/where when he and Sharon are ready.

Tony was right to say yes straight away, before they changed their minds, but wonder if Pat will be happy with that?

Even if not – surely this can only help? It’ll at least stop Pat wondering.

Or, will it be a case of a little is most definitely not enough?

Neil stinks of garlic: The Archers Wednesday 14th December 2011

Neil’s odour is a bit much for morning
Nic asked Joe?
Joe’s not a fan of a good walk spoiled …
Christmas is coming; the Grundys’ turkeys have got fat
Trouble ahead for the stag and hen dos?
Ed and Emma have got some nerve!
Carol singers
Kathy tells Pat an emphatic ‘No’

Neil’s odour is a bit much for morning

[Tom] “You’ve got a serious garlic habit going on there”

Seems Susan has been testing out recipes for nibbles. They’re having a family drinks party on Christmas morning.

So Neil has also been having canapés for breakfast, as well as lunch and dinner.

He’s hoping the parmesan breadsticks won’t be appearing again.

[Neil] “I don't have the heart to tell her, but you’d be better off chewing firewood”

It’s almost as if Neil has just met Susan sometimes … he knows it’ll be better to tell her now than let her suffer embarrassment publically.

Anyhoo, Neil reckons she’s making a song and dance out of what should be just a simple get together. Crisps nuts and booze should be on the menu – with enough booze so that folks forget what they’re eating.

Not so sure that’s a good approach for so early on Christmas day, but I suppose when it comes to Susan, Neil just wants a path of least resistance/hassle/potential of anything going wrong.

Nic asked Joe?

Kathy’s round at the Grundys’ while Clarrie is getting bits of Nic and Will’s wedding cake ready.

Joe also proudly tells Kathy that Nic asked him and Bartley to take her and Will round the Green after they’re married.

Ah Nic. A diplomat to the point where Joe now thinks she asked him.

Kathy doesn’t seem to be too overawed by the trap Joe’s built.

[Kathy] “Oh yes, it’s very … striking”

[Joe] “Flame orange, that’s what they calls that particular shade. I reckons that will set her dress off very nicely”

Joe’s not a fan of a good walk spoiled …

… and also seems to be taking the Michael out of Kathy for working at a golf club.

[Joe] “Do you actually do any work up at the Golf Club this time of year, Kathy Perks?”

After Kathy’s left:

[Joe] “Golf, haggis and Jazzer McCreary, Scotland’s got a lot to answer for”

Aye – but he left out the Enlightenment, modern surgery, photography, whisky, Alex Ferguson and TV … actually, forget I mentioned the last one …

Christmas is coming; the Grundys’ turkeys have got fat

So are set for being killed and plucked tomorrow.

Trouble ahead for the stag and hen dos?

Not sure how, but Nic and Will have managed to clash their stag and hen dos on the same night.

Would have thought Fallon and Roy would have organised enough to have avoided that.

I still can’t get it out of mind that as Will’s last experience of a hen do was horrific (Emma slept with Ed, though Will didn’t know it at the time), any sign of trouble is bound to be more than it should.

Ed and Emma have got some nerve!

I agree with Joe.

Ed and Emma shouldn’t be asking Clarrie to mind their kids while Emma goes back to work.

Clarrie needs to have time to find work for herself, and shouldn’t be used as a service babysitter. They should at least offer to pay her.

Nic and Will seem to manage well enough …

But Clarrie doesn’t mind, She actually seems to be delighted, especially as she doesn’t have high hopes of finding a job.

[Clarrie] “If a miracle like that does happen, they’ll just have to sort summit else out … I were pleased to be asked. I’ll enjoy spending more time with little Keira. And it’s nice my family still need me”

Carol singers

[Joe] “Only four or five of them but they made a decent racket”

It’s Alan’s lot, making the rounds through Ambridge to get a bit of practise in before Christmas Around the World.

Kathy tells Pat an emphatic ‘No’

Pat’s bending Kathy’s ear while Kathy’s at work. (just so happens Joe was right – she didn’t seem to be up to much else at that point).

Kathy’s chatting about helping with the preparing and serving of the food at Christmas Around the World, when Pat interrupts:

[Pat] “Is it hard to find out where a child goes to school? … Perhaps if I knew, I could drive up one afternoon”

[Kathy] “I understand why you want to, but you mustn’t”

Good god – Pat’s going to get arrested for stalking a 13 year old!

She reckons she just wants to say hello, but Kathy is quite rightly against it. She tells Pat that she’s too mixed up in herself, and can only make the situation even worse.

[Kathy] “If you do that you’ll make Sharon furious ...and you make turn Rich against you … imagine the shock, a grandmother he never knew he had appearing from nowhere”

[Pat] “He might be pleased to see me. To find out there are other people who care about him”

[Kathy] “It’ll turn everything he knows about himself upside down. Who he is. Who his family are … You could, do real damage to who he feels about himself”

[Pat] “But else am I ever going to see him?”

[Kathy, very reluctant to have to say this] “Perhaps that won’t be possible …”

[Pat] “I can’t bear the thought, I simply can’t bear it … I know what you’re saying makes sense, you’re tight, I shouldn’t go near him … It’s impossible Kathy, the questions keep going round and round in my head, if I saw him they might stop”

[Kathy] “Or you’ll make things far worse, for him and for you”

[Pat] “It’s the only hope I’ve got. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I have to see him”

[Kathy] “It can only make a dreadful situation even worse. Please don’t do it”

Kathy is absolutely right that Pat isn’t in a state of mind to do anything at the moment. She’s obsessing about Rich to the point where she can’t think clearly.

But then again – will Pat ever be able to move on if she can’t meet him? How else can she stop herself thinking?

A mini-John is too much for Pat to cope with.

Tony pleads, one father to another: The Archers Tuesday 13th December 2011

Brian’s back
Where is Jennifer?
Deck the Halls seems to be going well
The twins didn’t fight
David or Elizabeth?
Not a brooch!
Tony calls Sharon

Brian’s back

He’s tanned and has tales of fishing off of a reef, but he wasn’t left alone to ease himself back into reality.

Wind, rain, Adam asking him to work on machinery and Martin Gibson is “very annoyed”.

Annabelle left him a message to say that Martin was on a slight rampage:

[Brian] “Incandescent was quite a clue …”

Seems Pete Wilkes (is that Spencer’s, Pip’s boyfriend, dad?) phoned up Martin to ask if he had a date for when the Super Dairy would be starting.

Which he shouldn’t have done. Brian told him it was all still confidential.

[Brian] “ ‘Don’t say anything to anyone’ was obviously too technical for him”

Problem is that Brian should also be keeping everything confidential within Borchester Land. Which is why Martin is angry. Brian shouldn’t be trying to line up suppliers yet, even though Brian needs the suppliers in place to prove his business plan to the rest of the board – and Martin is especially worried that the media will get hold of it.

So really, Martin is right to be angry. And to spoil Brian’s return from holidays.

Where is Jennifer?

No mention of Jennifer on Brian’s return.

Surely she’s also come home?

Or has (a) Brian done away with her or (b) she run away with a waiter?

Deck the Halls seems to be going well

Though the ice rink had to be shut down for a few hours yesterday(some of the casual workers didn’t turn up for work), seems there’s plenty of folks spending money, despite it being a “belt tightening”.

It’s definitely not the same without Nigel, though. We didn’t get to hear the build-up to Deck the Halls. Nor about the magic.

The twins didn’t fight

[Elizabeth] “Somehow they got through the whole day without fighting. First time ever on a birthday”

[Jill] “They’re very sensible children”

Where Elizabeth is oblivious, nothing gets by Jill.

She’s obviously spotted that the twins are making a big effort for their mum.

David or Elizabeth?

Is a choice Jill’s going to have to make over the festive season.

David and Ruth are definitely going to The Bull for Christmas evening. But Elizabeth isn’t sounding so keen. She’s determined to still not have anything to with her brother.

[Jill] “Point Elizabeth one way and she heads off in the opposite direction”

So Elizabeth and the twins for Christmas lunch. David and Ruth Christmas evening.

And what about New Year? Especially just after on the 2nd …

[Jill] “I can’t believe it’ almost a year since Nigel died”

But Jill wouldn’t be able to invite David and Elizabeth to hers at the same time for new year. Which she feels odd about.

[Jill] “I want to support Elizabeth but not condone her attitude to David”

Not a brooch!

Josh just wants money for Christmas (which Jill is disappointed about).

And Jill is also looking for a gift for Christine’s birthday.

She’s been thinking about a brooch.

Surely not?

We don’t need another brooch of death at this time of year.

Especially when Christine’s Peter has organised a birthday lunch for her at Grey Gables (his orchestra is in Berlin). Even Jim is invited … which has raised a few eyebrows.

Jill – stay away from a brooch as a gift.

Christine – get on and marry Jim

Tony calls Sharon

But gets her husband Eamon.

[Eamon] “What the blazes are you playing at?”

[Tony] “I don’t want to bother you …”

[Eamon] “Then don’t … haven’t you and your wife hurt her enough already”

[Tony] “I’m not trying to hurt anyone”

[Eamon, fuming] “Then what are you up to? Trying to wreck my son’s head this time, going on about his biological father, cause it isn’t going to happen. We’re not going to have anything to do with you … then understand this, if you bother me and my family again I’m going to get very very angry, got it!”

But Tony calms him down by asking him to at least listen to what he has to say, as one father to another.

[Tony] “I’m absolutely desperate., I’ve got no one else to turn to. Since Pat found out about Rich, she’s been going through hell … as a father yourself, perhaps you can understand a little why she did … when you lose a child the pain is unbearable”

[Eamon, becoming reasonable] “Yeah. Okay, it must be”

[Tony] “I just want you to understand what a death like that does to you. You never get over it, never. You simply learn to keep going. To put the pain in a box … I don’t know how to explain. Finding out about Rich has ripped that open again”

[Eamon] “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone”

[Tony] “Now my wife is spiralling down into the most terrible depression”

[Eamon] “And that must be hard from you, but from what Sharon’s says, she’s only got herself to blame”

[Tony] “I haven’t rung to lay blame. Or to deny that wife and I have made mistakes in the past … all I’m asking is for you to show some compassion to your son’s grandmother … I’m seriously worried about her. If we could meet him. Even once … “

[Eamon] “There’s no way Sharon will go for that … you can’t expect me to do a song and dance routine for you”

So Eamon only agrees to tell Sharon that Tony called. And even to that, he can’t promise that Sharon will listen. He reckons Tony is just wasting his breath.

Very brave of Tony to try, but sounds futile.

Unless grandparents have some rights under the law?

Or, Sharon has a rush of festive spirit?

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Bartleby shall go to the wedding: The Archers Sunday 11th December 2011

What to do with Bartleby’s trap?
Hen and Stag nights
It’s all Sharon’s fault, really
Roy misses Phoebe

What to do with Bartleby’s trap?

Fallon’s had an idea. Though Nic can’t use Bartley’s trap before the wedding (she’s will be getting ready at Grey Gables so will be there already), Fallon reckons Roy and Will could use it to arrive.

Seems it’s a canopied trap, bright orange, made out of an old tent.

No-one wants to upset Joe. As Fallon says, he’s such a softy:

[Will] “Yeah, under all the smoke and grumpiness”

But, it’s not practical for Nic, and it also sounds like the trap isn’t exactly a work of beauty:

[Will] “It’s dead nice of him but, yeah, it glows so much you can see it from space!”

Will also isn’t convinced about him and Roy using it.

[Will] “No one cares what me and Roy look like when we get to the wedding”

But, Nic later comes up trumps. They’re going to use Bartley and his special trap as a “lap of honour” round the village Green after they’ve been married.

Aw.

Bartleby will be pleased.

Hen and Stag nights

Fallon and Nic are planning the hen night, so Roy and Will have to go to the pub.

[Roy] “Fantastic, first no one cares what I look like and then I can’t sit down!”

Will mentions that if the girls aren’t going for a nurse theme, air hostess would do just as well …

The hen night seems to be sorted, apart from one small problem … Emma.

Nic doesn’t want Emma there, Emma won’t want to be there, but Emma will see it as a snub if she isn’t at least invited, and will hold a grudge.

Fallon to the rescue!

She called Emma. Told her about the hen night and that Nic wanted her to come. But also said that they knew it was late notice (it’s next Thursday), so would understand if she couldn’t get Ed to babysit. And right enough – Emma said she’d love to come, but that Ed was out that evening so she couldn’t go out.

[Fallon] “There you go, family honour satisfied and everyone gets what they want”

Roy’s organised for Harry, Tom, Pete, Chris, and Jono (who is a probable until his “missus gets out of her wrestling class” – some sort of new fitness routine thingy) to go to a comedy club, then onto Felpersham tandoori.

But they don’t seem to worry about not inviting Ed.

Quite right too, considering what he did at Will’s last finance’s hen night …

It’s all Sharon’s fault, really

Pat and Tony have decided not to tell Helen and Tom that Pat called Sharon, that Rich is definitely John’s son, but that Sharon won’t let them be involved with him.

Not so sure they shouldn’t tell all. Surely it’ll come out sooner or later, with Tom and Helen furious (suicidal, in Helen’s case) that they weren’t told?

Anyhoo. Now that the dust has settled since Pat spoke to Sharon, Pat’s moved on from entirely blaming herself to blaming Sharon.

[Pat] “]It’s the way Sharon … ever since I spoke to her I keep thinking about when she came here … obviously now I wish we hadn’t been so short with her … but for her to make out that it was all so one sided … always the same … she simply took advantage from the word go …”

They’re still angry about the way Sharon played cat and mouse with John (starting when he was but a lad of 14).

[Pat] “She was so cynical about it … so clever at it, time after time … when things weren’t working out, back she’d come”

Pat and Tony think they were just trying to protect John from being heartbroken time and time again, but also realise that he didn’t want protecting.

[Tony] “He thought it was a great lark living on the Green with her …Whatever we think of Sharon, we’re only torturing ourselves”

[Pat] “What really bothers me, I mean you should have heard her Tony, talking about coming here after we’d lost John, like she was the victim in a Victorian melodrama, the innocent Maiden turned away by the heartless gentry … no awareness, none at all, that she might have been at fault …

“what I can’t get out of my mind though … I think John and Hayley would have stayed together if it hadn’t been for her, there wouldn’t have been that terrible upset in his mind, he’d have been more careful, might still be with us Tony, he might not have died … and yet she can still stop us, the one thing that could help, seeing Rich

“It’s as raw as if we’d lost him yesterday. But you're absolutely right. It can’t be helped. So we’ve got to move on. Somehow”

But – they’re going round in circles, with little chance of making Sharon change her mind about them seeing Rich. So:

[Tony] “We have to try and jog on as normal for their sake”

Which means going out for an anniversary meal tomorrow (at The Bull), so that Tom and Helen think all’s well.

Roy misses Phoebe

I’d completely forgotten about her!

Roy is especially missing Phoebe in the run up to Christmas. It’s too quiet at home.

[Roy] “I mean Abby’s great … but you want your whole family there”

Abby is just about old enough to now get Christmas – but Roy wants both his girls there.

Bout time for a Skype.

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Joe has an “extraordinary” gift: The Archers Friday 9th December 2011

Another mention of Peggy
Jill’s in the Christmas mood
Freddie gets Casper, Lily gets Paris
Kenton has a good plan AND gets credit
Nic is ever so diplomatic
Shula can talk AND towel
Tony finds out he was a granddad 13 years ago

Another mention of Peggy

It’s Jill this time. She’s saying Peggy is housebound and that her ankle is still very swollen.

I really don’t like this.

Peggy may have Elona, Lilian, Jill and co looking out for her – but I’d feel better if we could hear from Peggy herself.

Jill’s in the Christmas mood

After Lighting Up on The Green, and Deck the Halls is next.

Freddie gets Casper, Lily gets Paris

I’m not sure who the winner!

Seems Casper and Freddie took well to each other (Casper is a horse, in case you missed it a few eavesdropping ago). And Lily is very excited about going to Paris (the city, not that rather base American woman).

[Shula] “Well it would be nice if someone in the family was a linguist”

Eh?

Why so, Shula?

Kenton has a good plan AND gets credit

I never thought I’d see the like.

Jill and Shula were worrying over Elizabeth spending Christmas day alone with just the twins (Lewis at one of his daughters’). Elizabeth doesn’t seem likely to take up Shula’s offer of spending it at hers.

[Shula]”She’s worried about David coming over for tea afterwards”

[Jill] “That is awful. This stupid rift could ruin Christmas for everyone”

But Jill later calls Shula, to say that Kenton has the solution.

He’s going to invite the whole family to The Bull on Christmas evening, so that everyone can see each other – or, not see each other (as there’s enough space).

[Shula] “Good old Kenton”

[Jill] “He is good at this sort of thing”

Blimey!

High praise indeed for the man that constantly gets berated and shouted at. Especially by his own family.

Nic is ever so diplomatic

Joe turns up at Nic and Will’s with a surprise. It involves Nic having to get her coat on, turn off the iron and go outside.

Must be serious.

On first sight of Joe’s surprise:

[Nic] “It’s um … absolutely extraordinary, Joe”

[Joe] “This is a genuine one off unique piece of craftsmanship … So you can ride in style in all your finery … come to me out of the blue one evening, Eddie was going to cut the cloth up as hammocks for the ferrets”

As far as I can gather, Joe and Eddie have fashioned some sort of princess style carriage for Bartleby to pull Nic to the wedding in.

From Nic’s reaction, it doesn’t sound too royal …

… and as Nic explains, she’s getting changed at Grey Gables, so won’t have the need to be driven down to it.

But, seeing Joe’s disappointment:

[Nic] “This lovely trap is going to be absolutely perfect. For something”

And knowing Nic, that something will more than make it up to Joe.

Shula can talk AND towel

On yersel, doll.

Tony finds out he was a granddad 13 years ago

[Pat] “Rich is John’s son”

[Tony] “Definitely?”

[Pat] “Yes, definitely … I tried not to Tony …”

[Tony] “You rang Sharon? Oh Pat …”

[Pat] “I felt terrible about Helen and Tom, but I couldn’t stop myself, it was terrifying … Sharon was very blunt … She doesn’t want us to make any contact with him … never”

[Tony] “Why didn’t she tell us?”

[Pat] “That’s what I can’t get out of my head. That’s what’s going to drive me mad. She did try to tell us … she wanted to decide whether we deserved to know … we told her to go away ... it was my fault … I asked why she’d come, but I didn’t let her answer”

[Tony] “She took advantage of John when he was too young … she completely dominated him, Pat”

[Pat] “If only I’d kept my mouth shut. If I’d shown that girl any sort of compassion … she would have told us, we would have known. John’s son would have been part of our lives for the past 13 years, we could have loved him, told him all about John. And I threw that all away. How can I ever forgive myself”

[Tony] “No … it’s not you, it’s us … but how the hell were we to know what we were doing?”

Tricky.

Pat and Tony were distraught at the time. And their argument with Sharon was entirely separate from John dying. So, on the one hand, I can see why they turned Sharon away.

But, they knew John loved Sharon. So they could have at least shown some kindness. She was also grieving.

And, that they say they would have treated her differently if they’d known that she was pregnant by John is a tad callous. Sharon was not just a vessel for John’s seed …

But I suppose it doesn’t matter now. What does is that Pat and Tony have to live with the knowledge that they turned away their (unborn) grandchild. That they’ve missed all these years. And that they have next to no chance of seeing him (at least until he decides to find out more about his biological father. If ever).

John’s son or not? Pat finds out: The Archers Wednesday 7th December 2011

Josh likes cleaning
Little Drummer Boy is “seriously weird”
Now Henry looks like someone else …
Pat finds out about John’s son

Josh likes cleaning

But only the dairy.

[Josh] “This is proper work. And you get paid for it … well sort of paid, I get an allowance”

He reckons he needs proper wages at Christmas time.

Josh seems to gate school, as he wants to be doing more about farming. Like Pip.

She recently did a project about Brookfield’s Herefords which her tutor, Tim Wainwright, reckoned was a good, efficient model. But Josh just gets stuff like poetry.

[Josh] “But it’s so boring. Why can’t poets just say what they mean?”

As David said, don’t let Bert hear you say that!

I’ve said it before, but there will be more to Brookfield’s future than just Pip. Time for David and Ruth to be working out inheritance.

Little Drummer Boy is “seriously weird”

According to Josh. Eddie always listen to music when milking, and

[Eddie] “The girls like a few carols this time of year”

Josh doesn’t concur.

And David doesn’t seem to think it does much goo neither. The girls still aren’t producing enough.
Now Henry looks like someone else …

Pat really is on one.

She’s looking after Henry while Helen has a night out with Kirsty (here’s hoping Kirsty doesn’t give Helen’s number out to another bad ‘un like Leon).

Tony is trying to get pat to agree for them to also have a night out, but she’s too busy watching Henry’s expressions.

First, she thinks Henry looks like Tom when he’s concentrating.

[Tony] “His hair still amazes me. None of ours had a flop like that at his age. Sometimes I wish … be interesting to see what his father looks like, you know, to put all the piece together … you can’t help wondering”

But he wouldn’t, of course, ever say that to Helen.

And when Henry falls over, pat thinks he’s the spit of someone else.

But she doesn’t say (before the hidden microphones are moved on elsewhere).

Oh dear. Wonder who Pat is going to pin Henry on?

Pat finds out about John’s son

Despite Tony saying just the other day that they shouldn’t call Sharon. And despite knowing how badly this affecting Helen, and worrying Tom, Pat calls Sharon.

[Sharon] “What do you want?”

[Pat] “I’ve seen a photo of Kylie’s brother”

[Sharon] “Oh”

[Pat] “He looks so like … he’s John’s son, isn’t he?”

[Sharon] “I’ve been half expecting you to call since Kylie went to the funeral”

[Pat] “Please, is he?”

[Sharon] “Biologically yes …”

[Pat] “The moment I saw him I knew!”

[Sharon] “… in every other way, no. Eamon’s his father”

[Pat] “But he’s John’s son!”

[Sharon] “Eamon’s been there for him since he was a baby. He’s brought him up as his own. Rich calls him dad. He loves Eamon’s parents. He’s a very happy, sorted out young man and I’m not going to let you or anyone else change that”

[Pat] “I don’t want to”

[Sharon] “No? Then why you calling?”

[Pat] “Does he know about John?”

[Sharon] “He knows his birth father died before he was born. And he knows that Eamon is the only father he needs. He’s perfectly happy with that … “

[Pat] “And he’s never asked?”

[Sharon] “No. Is that all you wanted?”

[Pat] “Why didn’t you ever tell us?”

[Sharon] “Why do you think?”

[Pat] “I know things were difficult between us …”

[Sharon] “Difficult!”

[Pat] “Because John was so young when you got together. You seemed to have so much power over him”

[Sharon] “He knew his own mind”

[Pat] “There’s no sense in going back over it”

[Sharon] “No, there isn’t, so if that’s all …”

[Pat] “But when John died, why didn’t you tell us you were carrying his child?”

[Sharon] “Because you and your husband always treated me like dirt. You did everything you could to split me and John up. And it worked”

[Pat] “We felt you were driving a wedge between us”

[Sharon] “And then I heard he’d been killed. And you didn’t even have the decent to tell me … you knew what we’d meant to each other … I didn’t want to have anything to do with you after that”

[Pat] “We were going through hell!”

[Sharon] “And I wasn’t? I wasn’t going to tell you or anyone in Ambridge about him … “

But there’s worse to come. Sharon tells Pat that even when she was angry with them, a “little voice” kept nagging at her that she should tell them she was pregnant by John. She also wanted to say her goodbyes to John, and see his grave. So, she want to Ambridge to do so, and to see if John dying had change Pat and Tony:

[Sharon] “Made you kinder. Someone who’d treat me and my child with decency …”

She was terrified in going back to Bridge Farm, but made herself do so:

[Sharon] “You looked disgusted as soon as I went into the shed … ‘why’ve you come here?’, you spat at me … all your husband said was we don’t want any trouble … one word of kindness then, that’s all I wanted … ‘I’ve nothing to say to you, Sharon’, I’ve remembered that all these years … you didn’t want to hear”

So, because Pat told Sharon to go away:

[Sharon] “You decided for me. You didn’t deserve to know that I was carrying your grandson … you made your choice back then. You didn’t want us to be part of your family and we’re not”

Sharon tells a distraught Pat to never get in touch with them again.

So – if Pat had treated Sharon as someone else who had lost John, Sharon would have told her everything.

But, because Pat treated Sharon so badly, she didn’t get to know then, and she’s not welcome to be part of John’s son’s life now.

Ouch.

Hate to say it, but Tom (and Helen, Tony and Kathy) was right. Pat should have left well alone.

But – in her shoes – would any of us have left it without knowing?

Helen’s raw : The Archers Tuesday 6th December 2011

(emotionally, that is)

Calabrese, salad, pak choi and masala
Where will Gloria sit?
Henry likes shiny
Tony is such a back-stabber
Joe to switch the Christmas lights on
Holly and mistletoe (again)
No respect for Pat?

Calabrese, salad, pak choi and masala

Oh my!

Anya (at Ambridge Organics) is annoying Pat. Seems she’s asking for more of one thing, when she actually needs another.

Then Susan is seen in the yard. Looking lost. Muttering something about ice cream.

All while Henry is grizzling in the background.

Step back folks … Pat’s going to blow!

Where will Gloria sit?

At Nic and Will’s wedding?

It’s been a worry, but as Nic helps Will clear a tree, she already feels better.

They’ve just been to see their wedding reception room at Grey Gables, so it’s all starting to feel more real and clear.

[Nic] “As long as we get through the stag and hen nights on one piece”

(um … does Nic know what happened on Will’s last wife’s hen do?)

Seems Fallon has organised Nic’s do – stretch limo to a club. Class …

Henry likes shiny

Especially shiny and dangerous.

Tony is such a back-stabber

Helen’s telling Tony that she’s finding it hard to sleep. Tony sympathises and (in my humble opinion) seems to take the stance that this is all’s Pat’s fault, though he doesn’t say so outright. He does seem to abdicate his responsibility in how Tom and Helen were told about Rich.

[Helen] “It knocked me sideways. It brought back so many dreadful memoires”

[Tony] “If we knew the truth about Rich, it might be painful at first … but in the long run, it might help us deal with the way we feel about John”

[Helen] “Dad. I can’t tell you how much I disagree … even talking about it, ugh, it churns me up every time. I can’t keep looking back … it’ll only create more problems. For the boy, for us, I can’t stand it … you and mum mustn’t take this any further”

Tony agrees that they shouldn’t take it any further.

Um … shouldn’t he have spoken with Pat first?

Joe to switch the Christmas lights on

Only at Jim’s. But he’s chuffed that ‘the prof’ asked him to do the honours.

Holly and mistletoe (again)

Joe’s brought mistletoe round for Nic and Will (though they’d already found some earlier when they were clearing that fallen tree. Joe wasn’t to know, and they don’t tell him)

And Joe is also hawking holly around again. Seems Sabrina has bought some (does that woman never learn?) for her table decoration as part of the Christmas Around the World table decoration competition.

Though the general consensus is that Sabrina’s cleaning lady will end up doing it …

[Joe] “And she bought some mistletoe. Though I don’t think she needs any encouragement”

All the menfolk of Ambridge will be missing Sabrina in her cat outfit. They’ll just have to make do with a peck under the mistletoe.

No respect for Pat?

So Tony is talking to Pat about how Helen feels. He reckons Helen is “raw”, and is doing her best to avoid Pat. She isn’t even eating with them tonight. Which is indeed news, for our new style Helen.

Pat still isn’t getting it. She sees it as a waiting game – that Helen and Tom will become want to know about Rich in time. They’re just not “interested yet”.

[Tony] “Helen simply can’t face going back, reliving the past”

[Pat] “But it’s not the past, Tony., Rich is alive. Now … he’s John’s son … if I could just see him,. Hear his voice .. .what if he sounds like John?”

But no. Tony is adamant that they need to respect Tom and Helen’s wishes, and “things as they are”.
Ah, come on Tony. Even you can’t believe that Pat will walk away from this one?

What about Pat as John’s mum? Surely her wishes to find out if she has a grandson by him should be respected as well?

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

The Archers Wednesday 30th November 2011: Helen might be back to Hellin … sigh

(and I’ve been so smug that she’s a changed woman – the Helen haters will have a field day over this!)

Lilian puts Brenda in her place
Helen’s making cheese
Brenda’s skiving
Tom’s terrified for Helen
Helen begs Pat
Everyone enjoys a good gallop, according to Lilian
It takes a red coat to stop Lilian looking like a cow
Tony still adoring Brian’s failures

Lilian puts Brenda in her place

Brenda’s been away in Nottingham doing Lilian’s bidding.

She was quite happy, as she got to visit her friend Lottie. She also got a “good girl” for bringing back information packs and photos.

Brenda and Lilian are at the Mart, casing the joint before tomorrow’s formal opening.

[Lilian] “Such a shame the animals have to come in and spoil it!”

Brenda starts waffling about how she used to go to cattle sales with her dad. Lilian really isn’t interested.

And when Brenda mentions about being at the opening tomorrow:

[Lilian, with sarcastic pity in her voice] “Oh Brenda, did I say, I think it’s better you stay in the office. In fact, you better get back there now, darling, pronto, the emails must be piling up from yesterday. See you Brenda!”

[Brenda] “Uh! Cow!”

Tee-hee. Lilian does keep a grudge going, but with such class.

Helen’s making cheese

Which pat doesn’t see as a good sign. It’s her first batch since Henry, and she hadn’t mention she was going to make it.

[Tony] “You know Helen. She seeks refuge in routine when the water’s choppy … I expect she wants some peace and quiet. And to get away from you”

[Pat] “Charming!”

[Tony] “Well it’s obvious you’re dying to pounce on the subject of Rich”

[Pat] “I’m trying to act normally”

[Tony] “It’s not working. You’re like a coiled spring!”

[Pat] “I’m worried she’s closing off”

[Tony] “She’s just being Helen”

[Pat] “Exactly. We had that dramatic exit from super. Racking tears shaking the whole house. And this morning, nothing”

[Tony] “Pat .. back off. You know you can’t ever force her and it doesn’t work … what they need is support to deal with this in their own way … you need to stop this obsession with a grandson you may never meet and concentrate instead on the children you have here!”

[Pat] “I love my children more than anything”

[Tony] “Then give them time”

[Pat] “Yes, yes you’re right”

[Tony] “At last!”

But Pat then heads off to go and see Helen.

[Tony] “You’ll be at her in her den!”

[Pat] “I agreed not to push her, not to ignore her”

Pat really isn’t giving up. But where she thinks finding Rich could heal the family, Tony thinks it could break them.

Brenda’s skiving

She’s met up with Tom at Jaxx rather than returning to work (as she was told to by Lilian. Oh dear).
Lilian will catch her out one way or another.

Brenda may reckon she’s a cow, but she’s the cow who pays her wages.

Tom’s terrified for Helen

Starting on with how Pat and Tony sprung this all on him and Helen when Brenda wasn’t there:

[Tom] “They’ll just love it when it’s the nuclear foursome, the claustrophobic clan”

Tom then moves onto his fears for Helen.

[Tom] “It’s all so weird … No warning, like a rabbit out of a hat, so insensitive, nightmare. Helen’s love for john and her, well, her worship of him I suppose, went so deep, I suppose. All her problems stem from his accident. She walks on this thin layer of ice all the time. And I’m always expecting it to crack and fall though …

“So why were mum and dad prepared to risk that again? After all the progress she’s made, fighting her way back from Greg, starving herself, and this one great achievement of hers that says ‘hey mum and dad look I’m better now, I’m well’, they have to go and trump that with this virtual grandson. It’s so crass.”

Tom’s terrified Helen will unravel.

Brenda manages to get Tom off the topic long enough to talk about he feels. He admits he’s struggling to “make sense of it” and that he thinks this will open up all of the old family wounds.

[Tom] “It’s totally spooked me Brenda. All my life I’ve tried to move out from john’s shadow. Now this”

So John’s back to displace Tom.

But I do believe him when he says that he’s thinking more of Helen. For once, Tom isn’t just in Tom’s world.

Helen begs Pat

[Helen, crying] “Mum, please don’t phone Sharon … I’m not ready … I’m so confused.”

[Pat] “I know. And I promise I won’t. Not yet”

Note that Pat said “not yet”.

Even Helen about to break down isn’t going to change Pat’s mind.

Everyone enjoys a good gallop, according to Lilian

Lilian is teaching Henry the way gentleman ride by bouncing him up and down.

[Tony] “You’ll make him sick”

[Lilian] “We’ll, who doesn’t enjoy a good gallop, eh”

Quite right Lilian.

And Henry seems to agree. He’s happily chuckling away.

It takes a red coat to stop Lilian looking like a cow

Lilian’s showing off her new coat to Tony. She was desperate – her mum and Jennifer were both out.
She’s bought it for the Mart’s opening.

[Tony] “I’ll try not to mistake you for a Hereford then!”

Might also help Brenda stop mistaking Lilian for a cow as well.

(I know – Hereford are beef cattle …)

Tony still adoring Brian’s failures

Tony and Lilian are chatting about the Mart’s failure (so far).

[Lilian] “He can’t always deliver what he promises”

[Tony] “Well he loves the big talk, doesn’t he. It would be rather delicious if the microphone failed in the middle of his opening speech … I’m sick of him and Jennifer going on and on about this wonderful so called legacy project of his when he’s clearly going to make a packet out of it!”
Lilian reminds Tony that she’s also on the Board.

[Tony] “I was being wicked”

[Lilian] “Be careful what you wish for …”

[Tony] “I’ll just have to content myself that Brian may have a sleepless night tonight worrying”

[Lilian to Henry] “What a naughty gramps you've got!”

Tony then has a dig about Brian swanning off on holiday.

[Lilian] “Well, there’s always problems waiting for you when you get back”

[Tony, cheering up] “Yes, that’s true!”

The Archers Tuesday 29th November 2011: Tom and Helen about John’s “son”

Joe’s not impressed with the new Mart
John’s favourite booked was Little Piggly Wriggly
Tony adores Brian’s failures
Why is anyone surprised at Helen walking away from Lasagne?
Helen and Tom … meet your nephew

Joe’s not impressed with the new Mart

It’s too big for him.

[Joe] “I've leant over railings like these to watch cattle auctions all me life and the auctioneer ain't never needed a microphone before … “

But Brian tells Joe the auctioneer wouldn’t be heard otherwise.

[Joe] “ … he never need no fancy spotlights neither nor computers screens on the walls just to sell a few beasts”

But Brian tells him that it’s the most “cutting edge” in the Shire, with plenty of parking.

Joe really isn’t having it. He’s also not impressed by washers for the trucks

[Joe] “Bio security … what’s wrong with a bit of honest dark dirt, eh!”

Tony comes along and tends to agree with Joe. He also reckons that some of the farmers are confused about nowhere to offload their cattle and sheep. And both of them snort when Brian calls the farmers “customers”.

[Tony] “I find it all rather intimidating”

[Brian] “It’s called 21st century technology boys”

And right on cue, the electrics went down.

Almost as if someone had timed it (!).

It meant there was no hot food and drinks (as well as halting the sale), so folks weren’t best pleased.

Which led to Brian bellowing at Cliff for most of the day.

Not to worry. The electrics did come back on again … and went off again just as quickly.

I feel sorry for Cliff …

John’s favourite booked was Little Piggly Wriggly

[Pat] “that should have told us something”

Tony adores Brian’s failures

He was positively glowing at the Mart’s failure on its first day.

[Tony] “Absolutely ridiculous Tom, nobody knew what was going on … in the end the staff had to resort to pen and paper to write the receipts down … and if course people couldn’t pay, only if they had cash on them … IOUs and a handshake like the old days I expect, Brian was furious … Joe was pretty smug about the whole thing …”

Why is anyone surprised at Helen walking away from Lasagne?

(actually, Pat said she “waltzed”)

And, I suppose Helen is a new lady these days. Eating, and all that.

She comes back down with her bridesmaid’s dress on.

[Tony] “You look smashing love!”

[Tom, also approving] “Very slinky, isn’t it!”

[Helen] “You’re not sure it doesn’t make me look big?”

(oh – scratch that last bit – she isn’t 100% a new lady yet)

Helen and Tom … meet your nephew

[Tom] “Are you alright mum?”

[Pat] “More than alright!”

She starts telling them about how she met Kylie at Ivy’s funeral.

[Pat] “She’s a lovely girl”

[Tom] “Not like Sharon …”

[Pat] “Susan told me two weeks ago Kylie’s got a little brother … and we believe, we’ll we’re pretty certain actually, that Rich is …”

[Tony] “ …John’s son”

[Helen, aghast] “Johns!”

[Tom, furious] “No, that’s mad!”

[Tony] “Well, it seemed mad to us, but the more we looked into it, the more probable it become”

So they fetch the laptop.

[Tom] “But Sharon … she must have had loads of boyfriends after John … where on earth have you got all this from?”

[Helen] “Why are you doing this mum?”

[Tom] “So just because the numbers stack up, you want it to be true … I bet she was sleeping around anyway when she was with John, so how can you be certain?”

[Helen] “Why you clutching at straws, trying to bring John back, it’s sick mum!”

[Tony] “Look at the screen before you make up your minds”

And they put up the picture of Rich on the laptop, and also put a picture of John next to it.

[Helen, as she runs off crying] “No!”

[Tom, as he runs off after Helen] “For heaven’s sake, what do you think you’re both playing at!”

Which leaves Tony and Pat in the kitchen themselves.

[Tony] “I tried to warn you”

[Pat] “I hoped they might be a bit excited as well”

[Tony] “That’s what I’ve been trying to get through to you. You can’t anticipate how people will react just because you want something yourself”

They agree that the photo was probably a step too far. And it can’t have helped that Pat was so excited – when this was a complete bolt out of the blue for Helen and Tom.

[Tony] “You agreed to involve them. It can't be a unilateral decision … we need to take this news on board as a family, and it’s going to take time”

While upstairs:

[Helen, hysterically sobbing] “Why does mum want to take us back to that terrible time Tom, why?”

[Tom] “We can’t be sure it is John’s son”

[Helen] “Come on. You saw the photograph …I can’t go back there, I can’t”

Oh sugar.

Just when Helen had found her happy place in life, this could pull her right back to Hellin.

Two observations from me – first, why did Pat and Tony tell them in such a hurried and shocking way? And second, surely some folks can look like other folks without even being related?

The Archers Monday 28th November 2011: Will’s a good boy sometimes

School nativity time
Helen’s isn’t as sticky out
Has Tony got enough spuds?
Second hand wedding outfits
Pat now can’t stop looking at Rich
“I’ve got better things to worry about than the state of my shorts”
Will’s a mum’s boy
Pat calls Sharon a cow

School nativity time

Jake’s in the choir (so doesn’t get a costume), but Mia is an angel.

Helen’s isn’t as sticky out

Helen’s bridesmaid’s dress seemingly is a “more sophisticated” shape than Mia’s.

Second hand wedding outfits

Nic’s mum is wearing duck egg blue. Seems it’s one she wore to one of their cousin’s wedding.
Clarrie asked Nic if she minded that her mum was wearing it for the second time (at her own daughter’s wedding), but Nic didn’t.

[Nic] “I won’t be offended if you don’t wear brand new, Clarrie”

[Clarrie, feeling sheepish] “The only suitable outfit I’ve got is the one I wore to William’s first wedding …”

[Nic, laughing] “Oh, I see!”

[Clarrie] “And I didn’t get that second hand … I didn’t show our William up”

But Clarrie does seem worried.

Has Tony got enough spuds?

Hope so.

Or he’d have to turn back the van to get more.

Pat now can’t stop looking at Rich

[Pat] “It’s just like looking at a teenage John”

[Tony] “I know you’re cock-a-hoop about this, but I’m still struggling to take it in ... it’s unnerved me, if I'm honest, which is why I can’t look anymore”

[Pat] “It’s not going to go away. You can’t stuff the genie back in the bottle”

[Tony] “What have we unleashed …”

After seeing Rich’s picture on Kylie’s Facebook, both Tony and Pat are now convinced that Rich is John’s son. He looks the same.

But, Tony doesn’t want to be rushed about calling Sharon.

[Tony] “Our whole lives have been turned upside down at a click of a mouse”

[Pat] “It’s a miracle …”

“I’ve got better things to worry about than the state of my shorts”

Brian’s in a right grump.

He shouts at Will for bothering him with detail about the shoot.

Will later says to Nic:

[Will] “He wants to be kept in the loop but he doesn’t want to know about the details”

And Brian then has a go at Jennifer for harassing him about what he wants to take with him on their holiday.

[Brian] “I’ve got better things to worry about than the state of my shorts!”

The Mart is have a pre-official-opening-sale-opening tomorrow. So he’s stressed.

Will’s a mum’s boy

[Nic] “Reading between the lines, I think your mum’s worried about letting you down at the wedding”

[Will] “Well, she wouldn’t know how!”

Nic tells Will that Clarrie is ashamed about buying dress from charity shop.

[Will] “Well, I’m not having that!”

And he gets straight on the phone to her.

[Will] “Mum, you and me are going shopping, to buy you a new outfit for the wedding … mum, shut up. It was you made me realise Nic's the right wife for me, I was so stuck in the past, without you there wouldn’t be a wedding. I want to treat you”

Good lad, Will.

He seems to have completely changed his tune lately … wonder if it’ll last?

Pat calls Sharon a cow

The wine’s open at Bridge Farm

[Pat] “At last we’ve got something to celebrate. Who’d have thought we’d actually be grateful to Sharon for something. Let’s drink tour son John and his son Rich”

But Tony still can’t look at the picture of Rich, and is still against phoning Sharon.

[Tony] “Actions have consequences. Mostly ones we don’t anticipate”

[Pat] “But that’s what’s so exciting. This world of possibilities has opened up to us, it’s like a blessing”

[Tony] “What will Sharon think after these years … out of the blue …. That’s enough to clear the path for your killer question? She may not want to roll over and play happy families. We didn’t exactly approve of her when she was with John. You called her a fortune hunter!”

[Pat] “I did, didn’t I. But that was so long ago”

Tony is terrified that Sharon will slam the phone down on Pat, and he’ll be left to “pick up the pieces” as he had to after John died.

[Pat] “Why do you have to be so negative? … this little boy … could bring us so much joy”

[Tony] “There you go again, building up your hopes”

But Pat is determined to try and find about him if they can.

[Tony] “He’s not missed out on anything. He’s got his life in Leeds, the only life he’s know. And we’re not a part of it.”

Tony tries again to reason. That Sharon might be biding her time to tell Rich about his dad.

[Tony] “It’s not our place to initiate contact and disrupt the boys’ life”

[Pat] “Rich has a family here as well. I can’t just sit on this. And if I don’t initiate this, who will? That woman has known all about this for 13 years and a dickie bird. Cow!”

[Tony] “Well if you talk to her like that, she really will slam the phone down on you! … it’s all about you,. Isn’t it. What about Tom and Helen … this could change their lives too. You’re so blinkered”

[Pat] “Yes, yes you’re right. I’m sorry. We must show the Rich’s picture, before we phone”

[Tony] “What about wanting my blessing?”

[Pat] “I’ll phone her without it, if I have to …”

So – Tony’s backed into a corner.

He agrees that they need to talk to Tom and Helen before they do anything. Which they’ll do tomorrow – as Brenda’s away.

Poor Brenda.

She really isn't seen to be part of the Archer clan at all.

Wonder what’s happening with their engagement?

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

The Archers Sunday 27th November 2011: Pat reckons there’s no doubt … John had a son

Is there a fashion for sprouts on stalks?
Pat’s obsessed
Squealing not squabbling
Pat … pushy?
No Smoking zone around the weaners
First Sunday in advent
Neil stands up to Lynda
Lynda can squeeze in a lusty …
Was there a point to Neil’s keys?
Seeing is believing for Tony

Is there a fashion for sprouts on stalks?

Would seem so, going by Tony.

He’s a happy chappy as it saves him having to strip them off.

Pat’s obsessed (part 1)

Sharon’s number has been “burning a hole” in Pat’s pocket since she got it from Susan. But she hasn’t called her. Yet.

[Pat] “To think there could be a part of John living on in Rich, it’s so … oh, all the years I’ve yearned for him Tony, and now it’s so tantalising”

[Tony] “I knew this would happen, that this restlessness would overtake you, I’d have advised against asking Susan for the number in the first if you’d bothered to consult me”

[Pat] “Aren’t you in the least bit curious about him?”

[Tony] “No. No I’m not … I think it’s best all round if you tear it up and forget all about it, then we can just get on with our lives”

[Pat] “I can’t … I really would like to phone Sharon, at least that I’d, we’d, be one step nearer knowing either way, can’t you see that … think of it Tony, the reward …”

[Tony] “The heartache …”

[Pat] “This boy could be our own flesh and blood, our grandson”

[Tony] “Please love. You’ve got no idea where it could lead”

Squealing not squabbling

Susan thinks Neil’s pigs sound like they’ve never been fed.

But Neil is more than content.

[Neil] “I’m enjoying the peace and quiet too much … their squealing is music to my ears, believe me, compared to Brad and Chelsea squabbling”

Later on, Neil reckons he spends the worst two hours of his life when he’s left alone with the kids.
There were doors banging. Yelling. AND taunting.

[Neil] “They know I haven’t got any authority over them, you see”

Pat … pushy?

Never.

Susan is wondering (and worrying) if Pat has called Sharon. Neil doesn’t want to know nor cares.
Susan is worried that Sharon will be angry with her rather than Pat:

[Susan] “Pat has this way about her sometimes … pushy”

But Neil tells Susan to let it go.

Maybe he and Tony should get together to gang up on their womenfolk.

No Smoking zone around the weaners

Neil being unhappy about the Tracey plus brood invasion is going a tad too far for Susan.

He’s complaining that though Tracey claims she has money problems, she still seems to be able to afford fags.

[an indignant Neil] “She was smoking out her by the weaners yesterday, I’m not having that!”

[Susan] “She’s my little sister Neil, don't judge her”

First Sunday in advent

Blimey.

I agree with Lynda. That has come round fast.

It’ll soon be time for Jennifer to panic about being late with her Christmas cards, which makes me panic, though she’s always 2 weeks ahead of final posting (damn her!).

At St Stephens:

[Lynda] “Lead, Kindly Night, such a marvellous hymn”

Alan says it’s also Mabel’s favourite.

And wee Mia got to light the first candle.

[Alan] “’Cept I thought she was going to set fire to my surplus when she dropped the taper”

[Lynda] “Well at least you let her near a living flame and not a glostick … it make me feel all Christmassy”

And to top it all – the Christmas day service is back at St Stephens this year.

Lovely.

Neil stands up to Lynda

Lynda was asking Susan (and Tracey) to help her with the food for Christmas around the World.

[Lynda] “It could be a nice bonding experience for the pair of you, as sisters”

Nice try Lynda – but Neil steps in to say no. Quite firmly. He tells Lynda that Susan has enough to cope with.

[Lynda] “Gosh Susan, what an advocate … well you can see I had to try”

Once Lynda’s gone.

[Neil] “She’s got the sensitivity of a rhinoceros!”

Lynda can squeeze in a lusty …

… baritone.

Though I’m not sure she should have referred to Alan in that way to his face.

Lynda is planning to “hide the weaker acts in the middle” of the show.

(That’ll be Jim, then)

Though she is delighted that Mabel has offered (through Alan) to read a Jamaican poem. And Mabel has also offered to make gallons of Sorrel. Though it’ll be of the non-alcoholic variety.

Was there a point to Neil’s keys?

Neil left his keys at the bottom of the bell tower.

So Alan brought them back.

Did I miss the point of that?

Seeing is believing for Tony

Tony comes across Pat in the bedroom. On the laptop. Being very defensive that he caught her.

[Pat] “Can’t I have any privacy?”

[Tony] “It’s my bedroom too”

Pat fesses up that she’s been trying to find Kylie’s Facebook page.

[Pat] “If there’s a photograph of Rich out there, I’ve got to see it. I’ve got to know”

So Pat’s obsession has now extended to online stalking.

And Tony now joins in to help her look.

[Tony] “Your hand is shaking”

But they find Kylie quite quickly. She can’t have her privacy settings set very high as they’re able to see all of her photos.

They spot a family one. With her brother in it. And Tony even knows how to enlarge it so that they can see it properly.

(what’s Tony been doing online?)

[Pat] “Oh my god … look at him. He’s the exact image of John”

[Tony] “I can’t believe it …”

[Pat] “There’s no doubt Tony. John had a son!”

Double blimey!

Is he that like John, or is Pat and Tony seeing what they want to believe?

Monday, 28 November 2011

The Archers Friday 25th November 2011: Kathy has a word

The new yoghurt pot designs have arrived
Neil doesn’t want Tracey as a houseguest
Henry is starting to pull himself up on things
Kathy wants Pat to think

The new yoghurt pot designs have arrived

And Helen likes the style of them.

Seems they are “bold but not too flashy”.

[Pat] “I just liked the yoghurt pots the way they are”

Poor Pat.

Helen later tells Kathy that she feels Pat is “disengaged … like given up”.

So Kathy says she’ll go round to have a chat. Though she doesn’t mention to Helen that Pat’s ponderings are about far more than a yoghurt pot.

Neil doesn’t want Tracey as a houseguest

Neil reckons can’t Tracey and her kids can’t stay.

[Neil] “Honestly Susan, those children … I’m not sure I can stand many more days like yesterday”

But – the positive is that Tracey has agreed to look after their dad (and Gary).

So Susan is quite content to out up with the hassle at home, as it doesn’t mean she has to run two households.

Neil isn’t convinced.

[Neil] “She needs to get herself organised. Find herself somewhere closer to home”

Henry is starting to pull himself up on things

Blimey.

He’ll be trying to woo Emma’s Keira next!

Kathy wants Pat to think

[Kathy] “There are some scars that are never going to heal. And if you go poking around …”

Kathy asks Pat what Tony feels about her thinking that Sharon’s son might be John’s.

Pat reckons Tony is simply ambivalent.

[Pat] “And I can understand that. I mean John’s death was a terrible blow to him. Particularly as he and John had had this dreadful row beforehand, and they never had a chance to make their peace and the tractor … but if John has a son, it would mean a part of him lives on … the more I think about it the more convinced I am he must be”

[Kathy] “But you can’t know and if he isn’t you’ll have dug up all that ancient history, all that pain and suffering for nothing … think about it Pat”

Kathy tries to get Pat to think about how Helen and Tom will feel about all of this, as well as Tony.

But to no avail.

Pat later turns up at the Carters’ to ask for Sharon’s phone number.

Susan is unhappy about giving it – but does so. She’s worried Sharon and Kylie will blame her if they do get upset.

[Neil] “Sharon is quite capable of fighting her own corner, she’ll put Pat straight one way or the other .. you’ll not responsible for what Pat does”

Alrighty. Get set for round two – Pat Vs Sharon.

The Archers Wednesday 23rd November: Jim leaves Christine …

… but he’ll be back for supper
Would you call your child Richard Richards?
Jim to sing for their suppers?
Just when Susan wishes she could get rid of her siblings …

… but he’ll be back for supper

As Jim helps Christine with the crossword, they both also sound a bit sad. They’re realising that their “arrangement” can now finish.

[Jim] “All good things must come to an end”

[Christine] “It’s been a real pleasure having you to stay. Not to mean, well, feeling safe”

[Jim] “But now that the egregious Mr Horrobin has departed …”

Clive hasn’t been seen in Ambridge for over a week. So, technically, Jim doesn’t need to stay to keep Christine sane and safe anymore.

Christine is still jumpy (she gets a real fright when the doorbell goes), so Jim reassures that he:

[Jim] “isn’t going to shift until she feels safe in her own home”

Christine later goes round to ask Susan if Clive has gone for good. Susan reckons so, as Clive was only given permission to be in Ambridge to see his mum. As Ivy has now departed, Clive has to stay away.

So, Jim leaves Christine.

But, they swap house keys.

And Jim will be back for supper.

I suppose they can continue to enjoy each other’s company while they live in different house, but wouldn’t it be nicer if they just made it official?

Would you call your child Richard Richards?

Pat’s asking Susan if she knows what Sharon’s married name is. She was Richard before, as Kylie still is, but Pat is obviously trying to work our Rich’s surname.

[Pat] “Would you call your child Richard Richards?”

[Susan] “It’s not unheard of. Neil used to sell pigs to an Evan Evans. Then there’s David Davis. Maybe it’s a Welsh thing. Although Sharon’s not Welsh is she, so maybe, I don’t know, although Eamon, that could be a Welsh name, or Irish …”

Blimey. That was quite a verbal ramble from Susan!

And if it is a Welsh thing, wouldn’t Pat be best placed to know? Or, did she forget about her nationality along with her accent?!?

Anyhoo – Pat asks Susan to ask Kylie, but Susan says ‘no’ as she’d feel too awkward. Neil must have got through to her.

Pat apologises for asking, and tells Susan to forget it.

Somehow don’t think neither Pat or Susan will forget this until they know for sure one way or another.

Jim to sing for their suppers?

[Jim] “Did you want something Lynda, or are you just being nosy?”

[Lynda] “Nosy? Me?”

[Jim] “I hear there’s a change of plan., My little recitation is to be delivered to an audience of diners as they pick their teeth and eructate between courses”

[Lynda] “I’m sure they’ll appreciate your performance all the more for being well fed Jim … I was just wondering, is there any change you could sing rather than recite?”

[Jim] “Sing? Me! In Latin? … would you like me to accompany myself on the lyre?”

Oh Jim, you are naughty. You got Lynda’s hopes up with that one.

(Seems Jim can’t actually play the lyre)

[Jim] “No Lynda, with me it’s recitation or nothing”

Just when Susan wishes she could get rid of her siblings …

… one of them comes crashing into her life.

[Susan to Neil] “You don’t know how lucky you are not to have brother or sisters. I wish I could wash my hands of the lot of them!”

Then the door goes.

It’s Tracey.

She’s left Den.

[Tracey] “The kids are in the car and we’ve got nowhere else to go. Can we come in!”

(that last bit was a demand rather than a question)

Susan really doesn’t have any luck at the moment.

The Archers Monday 21st November 2011: Eddie and Clarrie’s 30th anniversary

Eddie actually appreciates Clarrie
Susan’s siblings let her down. Again
A typical Susan gaff
Pat upsets Susan
The Milk Processing company upsets Ruth

Eddie actually appreciates Clarrie

[Eddie] “You’d have never got through the last 30 years without a bucket full of patience!”

Clarrie and Eddie had agreed not to get each other presents. Eddie went ahead anyway, so Clarrie feels a bit sheepish that she hasn’t.

[Eddie] “You’re still here. That’s the only present I need”

Aw. Bless him.

Eddie gives Clarrie her “real” pearls that he got as a bargain.

[Eddie] “You can tell real pearls by rubbing them on your teeth”

[Clarrie] “Real pearls. They must have cost a fortune … this wasn’t some dodgy deal …”

[Eddie] “Ebay”

[Clarrie] “Never!”

[Eddie] “Lovely pearls for a lovely woman”

When they later on get to The Bull, they’re surprised by all their nearest and dearest already there, ready to party.

Actually, seems Joe’s been celebrating since lunchtime. Mike and Vicky have to sit either side, holding him up.

But not to worry. Clarrie is over the moon, especially as they put on Clarrie’s Song when she and Eddie walked in.

[Clarrie] “I can’t believe this. All these lovely people”

Susan’s siblings let her down. Again

Seems Keith and Stuart also did make her family meeting. Sot it was just her on her own. Again.
But. Susan says she’s determined that she won’t have all the responsibility of their dad (and Gary).

That’s fighting talk, that is.

A typical Susan gaff

Susan’s talking to Pat.

[Susan] “You’re not coming down the bull tonight? … but the boys have uninvited all their … friends”

Oops.

When Susan got to the word “friends”, she realised that Tony and Pat probably hadn’t been invited in the first place ….

Pat upsets Susan

[Pat to Susan] “I think there’s a distinct possibility that he might … that John might be his father”

[Susan] “No no no. Eamon is his dad, Sharon’s husband …”

But Susan does admit that she had just assumed that Eamon was Rich’s dad.

However, Susan doesn’t want to be involved. She doesn’t want to upset anyone, especially considering Kylie said that Eamon has been a father to them both.

Later on, Susan slightly changes her tune. She tells Neil what Pat had said (swearing him to secrecy) and also starts speculating.

[Susan] “The fact is Neil, it could very well be true, if you work out the dates”

Susan now wants to call Kylie to find out when Sharon and Eamon got together.

But Neil tells her not to call. He reckons Kylie is bright and will work it out.

Oh dear. Thus isn’t going to be an easy one to work out without someone somewhere getting upset.

The Milk Processing company upsets Ruth

It’s a ‘no;’ to Brookfield from the Milk processing company. They say they can’t take on any more suppliers - which irritates David as they must have known that before they asked Brookfield to pitch.

But, at least they’re ‘on file’.

[Ruth] “ I just spent a couple of days in foolish optimism”

Uh-oh. We don’t need a depressed Ruth considering the forthcoming ‘David killed Nigel’ anniversary …

But Eddie tries to cheer them. He reckons they’re better off without supermarkets.

[Eddie] “Too many farmers talking the supermarket shilling then being cut off at the knees”

After all. Look at what happened to Tom.

Saturday, 19 November 2011

The Archers Friday 18th November 2011: Pat does sums with Kathy

David says no to Brian
Lynda’s busy changing her plans
Brian’s worried about public opinion
Borchester already has its Christmas lights up
Pat reveals her theory about John’s son
Bert came 5th at Lakey Hill
Ruth’s making pizza
Brookfield gets a foot in the door

David says no to Brian

David’s on his way out to tell Brian that Brookfield won’t be supplying crop for the Super Dairy.

[Ruth] “What, that we’re not going to grow crops for his cynical, disgusting, immoral, intensive dairy unit!”

[David] “Well, I’ll probably out it a bit more tactful than that”

[Ruth] “He won’t respect you for it”

When David tells Brian, he does go gentle. He tells Brian that they don’t want to be tied to a long term contract, as well as their commitment to their way of dairy farming.

It was probably better David told Brian rather than Ruth – especially as he is NFU president.

Brian’s worried about public opinion

Brian always has his eye on PR – though it’s more out of ensuring profitability than giving a damn about what people think of him.

[Brian] “Our main is the strength of any local opposition. There’s so much hysterical nonsense being peddled in the media these day … bionic farms, Frankenstein cows you know the sort of thing”

David reckons there are also “reasoned arguments” against Super Dairies, but Brian isn’t interested in those debates. He asks David to sound out opinion of NFU members.

[David] “I think you’re right. You could end up with a fight on your hands”

I’ve said it before – but wait until Lynda hears about this one! Fury and posters, methinks.

Lynda’s busy changing her plans

Well, her “masterplan”, in Lynda’s own words.

She’s working out the food for Christmas around the World – which is set to take play on 28th December.

Four courses (starter, main, pudding and cheese), which will be serves as bite sized portions between the stage entertainment. When nothing is happening on the stage, they’ll play CDs of carols from around the world.

Lynda has roped Kathy in to help make the food (they’ll pre-done a lot of it and freeze it), and is also trying to track down Freda.

Lynda will be kept extra busy with having to change all the advertising and publicity for the show.
Here’s hoping it all shifts a few more tickets.

Borchester already has its Christmas lights up

Seems Nic and Will’s kids were off to see them.

And Ambridge’s will also be up soon.

*sigh*

Far too early, in my humble opinion.

Pat reveals her theory about John’s son

Or, who she thinks is John’s son.

She’s round to see Kathy. Seems she can’t cope just mulling it all round in her own head.

[Pat] “You’ll think this is totally crazy. It started because I went to Ivy Horrobin’s funeral. You know Sharon’s daughter, Sharon Richards … well, you know she came down for the funeral … well, apparently she’s got a younger brother …

“the boy’s called Rich, he's a teenager … this is the crazy bit … do you remember in 1997, a few months before John does, Sharon came back to the village, she didn’t waste any time of course, she and John had a fling”

[Kathy] “Yes, while he was supposed to be going out with Hayley”

[Pat] “Well, according to Susan, Rich is 13 now, and Sharon moved away again after Christmas that year, so if you do the sums … I don’t know, but according to the dates, it’s just possible this boy could be John’s son”

[Kathy] “Oh Pat, but why … the boy must be Eamonn’s. You’re no reason at all to think he might be John’s”

[Pat] “Yeah, I suppose you’re right, and as said it’s all pretty mad”

[Kathy] “It is a crazy idea. It’s so unlikely. The best thing you can do is forget all about it”

[Pat] “Yes. You’re right. I must”

So Kathy gives Pat more wine, and tells her about how Jamie has just done his maths resit and is working really hard again at his school work. That’s why he’s been so quiet.

But Pat isn’t listening. Nor is she interested in Kathy having seen a “perky” Harry back in the village, after his visit to Poland to see Zofia.

[Kathy] “You can’t let it go, can you? … so let’s go through it again. Calmly and rationally”

[Pat] “The dates do work out Kathy,. That’s the trouble”

[Kathy] “So let’s say, for the sake of argument, in their there’s a chance it could be John’s … but far far more likely to be Eamonn’s … so why even think about it. It’s not going to lead anywhere. Only to place you don’t want to go”

[Pat] “You’re absolutely right. It’s a ridiculous idea … on someone who prides themselves on being clear headed and logical, it’s all rather sad and pathetic isn’t it .. thanks Lathy, I do feel much clearer about it now”

How many of us think that will be the last we’ll be hearing of Pat’s theory?

Bert came 5th at Lakey Hill

Seems something went wrong with his tractor.

Poor Bert.

Ruth’s making pizza

Again.

Brookfield gets a foot in the door

Ruth has finally made progress in Brookfield trying to secure a direct contract for their milk.

A Dairy processor has asked them to pitch.

[Ruth] “We’ve got a fantastic product. How can they possibly turn us down?”

I wonder. If they don’t get a milk contract soon, will Brian’s offer for Brookfield to supply the Super Dairy will become more attractive … actually, could become a necessity.

Friday, 18 November 2011

The Archers Thursday 17th November 2011: Pat is very ponderous

Susan’s caught in the act
Organics isn’t a selling point these days
Pat isn’t listening … but she is interested in Kylie

Susan’s caught in the act

She’s still doing Bert and Gary’s washing.

Neil is not a happy chappy.

[Neil] “You can’t do it all. You can’t run two household and work full time”

[Susan] “Gary would just sit there with dad by the telly eating chips while the dirty plates and the washing piled up around them”

Neil reckons it should be the whole family helping out.

[Susan] “I know it’s not fair. I don’t want to be stuck with all this. I am getting tired and wish they’d help out … I wish mum were still here … you’re right, I can’t go on like this. Not for much longer”

So Susan calls a family meeting. She doesn’t have very high hopes though. Tracey has got wee kids, and troubles with her Den. Seems Keith wife is difficult. Stuart is not dependable. And she can’t ask Clive. They haven’t spoken since Ivy’s funeral.

Only Keith and Stuart will be attending the family meeting. Seems Tracey really is in crisis mode with her partner.

[Neil] “You’ll be lucky to get much change out of Keith and Stuart”

Organics isn’t a selling point these days

So says the rebranding expert Tom and Brenda have met with.

Seems this chap was entirely “behind” Bridge Farm rebranding, but …

[Tom] “Do it properly … he did have one small reservation”

[Brenda] “Actually, it’s quite a big one Tom”

The chap said that organics isn’t a selling point these days. It would seem there’s a stronger market for “locally sourced food”.

[Pat] “We’re an organic farm. If we can’t put that on our products we might as well pack it all in and retire!”

But the compromise is to still rebrand as Ambridge Organics – but “major” on the Ambridge, with Organics in a smaller font down below.

[Tony] “This is marketing. They play by different rules. It’s a fair compromise”

Pat doesn’t sound convinced. Especially as it’ll take until end of January to do all of the rebranding work.

(actually, I think that’s quite quick)

[Pat] “So, there goes Ambridge Organics Christmas Pud ice cream”

Later on:

[Tony] “I know it’s a bit depressing for us”

But Pat is going to make a small batch of Christmas pud ice cream anyway, and sell it through the shop.

[Pat] “A last hurrah for the Bridge Farm brand … I suppose there are more important things in life than which font size we use”

Hmmm. I wonder what Pat could be referring to …

Anyhoo.

It’s a bit odd that Brenda and Tom are ploughing on because of one bloke’s say-so.

And odder still that Tony is accepting all of this so easily.

Pat isn’t listening … but she is interested in Kylie

Tony was wittering on to Pat about rebranding, David and Ruth’s plans for their milk, and other such topical Ambridge happenings. But Pat wasn’t listening. She was miles away.

Pat does show more attention to Susan. And mentions Kylie first chance she can.

[Pat] “She doesn’t seem to have picked up many of her dad’s genetics … and she’d inherited the best of Sharon’s looks too … I wonder if her brother looks at all like her?”

Ah – so do we understand from that wee exchange that Pat is increasingly thinking that Kylie could be John’s daughter?

When she’s later again vague as Tony is trying to talk to her, she nearly tells him what’s on her mind … but stops short of doing so.

Ah. This is nicely simmering away. Hope it isn’t squib that’ll be served.