Sunday, 20 October 2013

Lynda seeks a mature Robin Hood – Sun 20.10.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Sunday 20th October 2013
  • Kirsty auditions
  • Handbells and One Direction don’t need multiple spotlights
  • Harassed Cook Hampers
  • Kirsty and Tom clean out a lagoon
  • Nathan Booth auditions
  • Henry’s being a pain
  • Harriet’s divorcing Ray
  • Robert wants Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn
  • The Three Legged Mole
  • Fallon has a talent
  • Tom puts his foot in it
  • Constanza gets brushed

Kirsty auditions

As Maid Marion.

Though Tom’s also in attendance, he can’t be persuaded (cajoled, forced, harassed) into treading the boards.

[Kirsty] “He’s only here for moral support.”

Handbells and One Direction don’t need multiple spotlights

Robert is in an uncharacteristic hump:

[Robert] “She’s playing havoc with the fresnels … it’s always the same … Jenny Thrombin … can’t see a spotlight without rehanging it badly … handbells and a tribute to One Direction, how many spotlights do you need?”

Not as many as that, it would seem.

Harassed Cook Hampers

Seem to be selling well for Tom.

And Underwoods have upped their order across sausages range.

Tom is pleased.

Kirsty and Tom clean out a lagoon

Seems the Bridge farm one needs the reeds and scrub cutting back.

Ah, the joys of early love. It makes event the hardest task seem fun.

Nathan Booth auditions

But we don’t get to hear it.

Funny thing, that.

Though I wish we had, Robert reckoned it was “alarming”.

Henry’s being a pain

[Helen] “No henry, it’s okay to look at the pigs through the fence, not to get in with them.”

[Henry, while trying to climb over the fence] “She’s big!”

Helen pulls him back, but he tries again ti climb. He won’t be distracted away by conkers, or the colour of leaves, or going to see what his granddad and granny are doing.

Oh dear.

Helen also don’t know what to do. Quite literally.

Harriet’s divorcing Ray

[Lynda] “The man who brought disaster on grey Gables … she’s divorcing him. She’s had enough.”

[Robert] “If you’re going to have an affair, at least be discreet … I’m not justifying what he did, I’m just saying that with a little aforethought …”


Lynda was not amused by that wee speech from Robert. But she was ever so keen to gloat. Though she protests the opposite:

[Lynda] “It would be unkind to gloat. Caroline and Oliver are already paying for their mistake Ly
And avoidable. If only they’d selected their temporary manager with a bit more thought.”

Robert wants Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn

Robert’s worried about the low turnout for the Panto auditions. He thinks they’re being put off by Robin Hood being too well known.

[Robert] “Perhaps it feels a bit stale .. .let’s give this story a real shake, make it unmissable. I had an idea earlier.”

[Lynda] “Yes?”

[Robert] “Unfortunately, it’s gone again … it was a good one Lyndee, if I could just remember what it was.”

Oh, Robert!

Much later on:

[Robert] “Lyndee it’s come back to me!”

[Lynda] “Robert, how many times! Never startle a llama.”

Robert has remembered a film featuring Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn which shows Robin and Marion when they were older than usually depicted. Past their prime, with Robin unable to let go of the past.

(It was called Robin and Marian, I think you’ll find)

[Robert] “One minute you’re laughting, next there’s a tear in your eye.”

He reckons it’d bring a whole new meaning to the legend.

Lynda loves it! But, Robert has also spotted a snag:

[Robert] “It’s all very well saying do it like Connery and Hepburn, but really, in Ambridge? … not really feasible.”

[Lynda] “A village Hepburn doesn’t immediately spring to mind.”

But, seems Lynda can think of a Connery in Ambridge:

[Lynda] “With a canny, mature appeal we’re looking for.”

Robert nearly bursts with pride!

But, alas, Lynda doesn’t mean his good self.

[Lynda] “Not you Robert. Someone with real rugged charm.”


I sometimes wonder why Robert even bothers.

The Three Legged Mole

[Kirsty] “You don’t think of mole’s having legs.”


But not to worry.

It’s the pub where Kenton will be starting his stag do.


Fallon has a talent

At writing invitations.

Who’d have thunk it.

[Kirsty] “I think she’s more excited about the wedding than her mum.”

Well, I doubt that.

Tom puts his foot in it

On the topic of the panto, seems Tom had tried to get Jazzer to audition (not chance, it seems) and also Rob. He then realised he shouldn’t have harassed Rob at a time like this:

[Tom] “He’s had to go back to Hampshire for the funeral. Hardly the right time to get involved in the Christmas production.”

He then started waffling on about Rob having a “very upset wife” to look after.

All in front of Helen. She’d only come along to see if she and henry could help with clearing the lagoon.

She walks off. Much to Tom’s dismay.

[Tom] “She keeps changing her min at the moment. Her moods are all over the place. Something’s not right, I thought you might have some idea … Something’s upset her, and you know what it is … please Kirsty, I’m worried about her.”

[Kirsty] “Maybe you’re right, but I can’t tell you.”

Kirsty reckons Helen has to tell him herself.

My word.

What will Tom do?

Side with his beloved sister, or his new ready meal guru?

Constanza gets brushed

Seems it’s not as tangled as it was yesterday.

Does Lynda brush her llamas every day?

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