Tuesday, 31 May 2011

The Archers Tuesday 31st May 2011: An Archer back in The Bull?

  • Matt is precious about his delphiniums
  • Jonti moved in
  • “There’s far too much romantic tripe around”
  • Penny Marsh! tut, tut
  • Kenton and Jolene exploring the fleshpots of Borchester
  • No Brookfield Open Farm Sunday?
  • Kenton might move his toothbrush in

Matt is precious about his delphiniums

Brian arrives early for a meeting with Matt, to find him gardening.

Not sure why Brian was surprised (and though Matt’s gardener was off sick) – doesn’t everyone know that Matt discovered a passionate for horticulture when he was in prison?

And boy, is he particular about his garden. His gardener seemingly does not impress him:

[Matt] “the lawn would better is he was (off sick), he practically scalped it yesterday. I’m not trusting him to stake the delphiniums”

(on seeing Brian’s surprise at Matt’s gardening knowledge:

[Matt] “I picked up a bit when her majesty insisted on giving me bed and breakfast, it passed the time”

Matt says he appreciates the “discipline” of gardening. It helps him keep his end in order.

Jonti moved in

To No.3

But we didn’t get to hear it. Or him.

Matt hasn’t really got much to say about him either:

[Matt] “Well, he hasn’t got two heads or a saxophone”

Can No.3 be heard at the Dower House? Or does Matt actually care for no.3’s neighbours.

“There’s far too much romantic tripe around”

So says Brian.

(I never saw tripe as being romantic. Each to their own, I suppose).

He’s complaining that Jazzer and Harry have been calling (separately) to speak to Zofia (as she’s picking fruit at Home Farm).

Wonder who will buy her a mobile phone first?

Penny Marsh! tut, tut

Matt reveals his source at the Council – it’s Penny Marsh, who is on the development subcommittee.

How terrible of Ms Marsh.

(and I have never heard of Penny Marsh before but she sounds like a bad public servant)

Matt’s arranging a meeting with Penny Marsh and Brian (and Annabelle):

[Matt] “The BMD team want to tap her on the head, to see if she rings true”

Kenton and Jolene exploring the fleshpots of Borchester

They have a day off together, so are in the car about to head to Borchester.

But, Kenton isn’t on best form.

He’s having a stressful time at Lower Loxley (Elizabeth crazy angry), with him mum (Jill is very upset) and David (not wanting to even be around him).

[Kenton] “It’s like we’re never going to be able to move on. Remember Nigel properly”
So, Jolene spots that he’s not a happy chappy, and takes him back inside to slob around (her words).

[Jolene] “Haven’t we got passed having to entertain each other?”

Oh no.

That’s not good.

It’s surely not time already for them to not make an effort anymore? To not be pretty, or even pretty smelling, for each other?

Slippery slope. Once you stop brushing your hair, the bed death will set in shortly …

No Brookfield Open Farm Sunday?

David still isn’t looking forward to Open Farm Sunday.

[David] “It’s just pretending to be jolly for the visitors”

Pip reckons they actually don’t have to do it. They could try and pass it onto another farm.

Will the world be the same without a Brookfield Open Farm Sunday?

Kenton might move his toothbrush in

And his underwear. His records. His dodgy shirts (which I always imagine he wears).

Jolene has asked Kenton to move in with her (and Fallon, actually) at The Bull.

[Kenton] “I’d love to. This … being with you … it feels like home. It’s where I want to be”

Yay! And Jolene knows what she’s getting into. She would seemingly love to try putting up with him.

But wait … there’s an Elizabeth shaped brick wall in the way.

Kenton wants to move in, but he can’t leave Elizabeth with all of the David fall-out happening.


Ambridge Extra Tuesday 31st May 2011: Chris buys a van

  • Alice is doing Chas’ shopping
  • Spencer, a nice lad indeed, part 684
  • “We’re your crew”
  • Chris will be his own boss
  • Alice not keen to leave Chas?
  • We all think it about some older folks driving …
  • What does “such a Tony, sometimes” mean?

Alice is doing Chas’ shopping

I wonder if he’s ever gone out of his way to help her?

It is for Alice as well. And is mainly junk food to help them revise (I think they’ll find that a carrot or two would help more than junk … or so I’m told).

So Alice has got them crisps, chocolate, love hearts …

… love hearts?

Is Alice actually (very subtly) flirting with Chas, which means it isn’t just all in his head?

Spencer, a nice lad indeed, part 684

Spencer is fast becoming one of the nicest young men to have ever been in Ambridge.

Today, he was consoling Biff (the Brookfield sheepdog) about the new puppy soon arriving, and reassuring Biff that he’ll always be his favourite.

And then he makes (and takes) a lot of effort to get Pip to talk about him. She’s got exam stress, and a rather difficult atmosphere at home.

[Pip] “It’s not exactly been much fun around here … Dad’s doing his usual when upset, doesn’t talk and just works even longer … Mum gets snappy, she’s still furious with Aunty Elizabeth”

He does manage to get her to take a break. And get her to talk.

Spencer’s response to the woeful tale of David revealing the ‘truth’ to Elizabeth:

[Spencer] “I’m sure he didn’t mean him to fall”

Pip’s sad that David’s efforts to “put things right” has backfired so badly, and also misses Elizabeth.

[Pip] “She was so supportive, she never judged … she was more of a friend”

But now, she’s too scared to even go and see her. And she does need to see her soon, if she wants a summer job at Lower Loxley.

“We’re your crew”

(I know I should stop making such a big fuss about the street language Jamie and his mates use – but it does grate ever so. They’re a bunch of village boys, for mighty sake!)

[Marty] “Since when did you become such a swat?”

[Steve] “Jamie, stop being a div, get out here!”

They’re persuaded Jamie (yet again) to stop studying, and go out to play … sorry, ‘hang …

Chris will be his own boss

Chris calls Alice to tell her that he’s bought his van – only 24,000 on the clock – so all he has to do now is convert it for farriering.

AND, his boss has said that he will:

[Chris] “definitely get first dibs”

Alice is just as excited, but Chas is not impressed.

He sounded quite perturbed that Chris had already spent the money Chas loaned him – one can only assume that Chas was thinking of trying to get it back to pay his own ever mounting debts.

And our Alice-that-isn’t-acting-like-Alice didn’t pick up that Chas was grumpy when she told him about the van. She even failed to notice that one if his first responses was reminding her that the first payment is due Wednesday.

Would love to see Chris miss a payment, then Chas trying to bully Chris.

Chris has always seemed to be a strapping young man, and he had rather heavy tools to hand …

Alice not keen to leave Chas?

Alice didn’t seem too enthralled when Chris mentioned that she only has 2 weeks left on Uni.

It could be that she has exams to first get through.

Could be that she’ll miss the student life (although she is then off to study at Felpersham).

Could be that she’s enjoyed the freedom of living single, but being married.

Could be that she’s realising that, as Chris has sorted the next 50 years of his life (by buying the van), she’s heading home to properly be settled down,

Or, doesn’t she want to leave Chas?

We all think it about some older folks driving …

… but we don’t peep out horn and shout at them.

It’s as inevitable as taking over one slow lorry to find another one ten minutes later. Better to just relax, and make sure you leave a bit earlier in case there are slow drivers, lorries, cyclists, tractors …

But, Jamie’s ‘crew’ reckon it’s jolly good spot to harass old men.


They also start calling Jamie a wuss again.

[Steve] “Look, Jamie, we’re you’re crew, we’ve got your back, you know that, but when you start acting all strange and that, we get nervous, we’ve got to know you’re solid”

[Jamie] “Yes, I’m solid, alright!”

So Steve and Marty decide to make him prove it.

If anyone has got a better idea of what they were actually doing at the bridge – it sounded something like having to walk under it? – let me know, as I couldn’t picture it.

But they ‘dare’ him to do it (whatever ‘it’ was), and surprisingly also do ‘it; themselves. I thought they were setting him up.

What does “such a Tony, sometimes” mean?

Alice said it to Paulie when he was taking the Michael.

What does it mean?

Tony Blair? Hancock? Benn? Bennett? Adam? Hawk? Blackburn?

Or is it Toni? Or a girl’s name?

Of something completely different???

I have no ken …

Monday, 30 May 2011

The Archers Monday 30th May 2011: Single Wicket 2011

  • Molly Button has a sister
  • “Can you believe it? Bored by the cricket!”
  • A tense final (for Susan)
  • The new Book Club book is “a Roistering rural romance”
  • Jazzer, lost in translation?
  • Chris isn’t patronising

Molly Button has a sister

Called Tilly, who also sounds like a bit of a live ‘un.

She went missing at the Single Wicket, to be found sat in a tent “quietly” reading.

Tilly then later seemed to be throwing things at Jazzer.

Good to know there’s be a few choice females for Ben to choose from when he grows up.

“Can you believe it? Bored by the cricket!”

It did seem that most Ambridge residents weren’t at the Single Wicket (or at least were staying quiet).

And of those, most weren’t too bothered about being there:

[Susan – on Chris and Neil making the final] “Didn’t think I’d be stuck here, watching all afternoon”

[Jazzer, on cricket] “Occupational therapy for posh Neds”

A tense final (for Susan)

Alistair went out in the first round (to someone called Barry – who is seemingly “insufferable” – but was then knocked out by Chris, so balance was restored).

Neil put Harry out, even though Kenton reckoned Harry was “on fire”, and Susan was being a tad negative about Neil’s chances.

[Susan] “Your father looks beaten already”

But she has little faith.

Neil does make it to the final – as does Chris.

So it’s an all-Carter end to the Sticky Wicket.

The new Book Club book is “a roistering rural romance”

So Jennifer has chosen Mistress of the Paddocks by Carinthia Heart.

(a book which I can’t as existing beyond Ambridge – or am I being thick?)

It’s even got Emma reading:

[Susan] “As soon as Emma saw it was a roistering rural roman, she grabbed it off me”

Jazzer, lost in translation?

Jazzer’s only at the cricket to try and pull the Polish woman (who is part of Adam's Picking team) with the “long chestnut hair”.

And at least she now has a name – Zofia.

[Jazzer] “Is this patch of grass taken, or is there room for a handsome man next to you?”

He also tried to crash the Pickers’ barbeque to try and get close to Zofia, but Adam chucked him out.

[Jazzer] “I’m guessing there’s a lot more to ya than strawberry picking”

Jazzer then starts to ramble on about whether Zofia likes art, music, massage …

And, hearing Zofia has split from her boyfriend (who is now back in Poland), Jazzer thinks it’s a good tactic to get very personal,

[Jazzer] “Bit of a bother in the bedroom department, eh?”

At which point, Harry interrupts.

(he speaks again!)

Harry thinks Jazzer’s banter is a tad inappropriate.

[Zofia] “It’s alright. I do not understand what he says”

It seems Harry also has an eye for Zofia as well. Jazzer reckons he’s well in, but Harry seems to have had a gentle chat with Zofia

[Harry] “So why did she ask me afterwards if English was your first language?”
Jazzer then challenges Harry to Zofia – which appals Harry as it’s hardly the way that modern, enlightened men should act. That belongs to a previous age, he reckons.

[Jazzer] “Are we going by the calendar or your dress sense?”

But ho hum. Looks like it’s another farcical ‘game on’.

Chris isn’t patronising

So, Chris won the Single Wicket.

Susan is a bit irritated that he didn’t let Neil win

[Susan] “Well you’ll have plenty of chances again, but you know how much it meant to your father”

She reckons Neil’s been taking such a ribbing recently that he’s too old to play cricket, he needed to win to bolster himself and prove to all else that he still has ‘it’.

[Chris to Neil] “There’s no way I’d patronise you like that … I heard you telling me to catch it”

[Neil] “The only thing better than winning myself, is seeing my son do it”

Aw. Sweet.

Though Neil did still claim half of the trophy. He reckons that’s so, because he taught Chris has to play cricket in the first place ...

Sunday, 29 May 2011

The Archers Sunday 29th May 2011: If Shula can still be friends with Caroline …

… why can’t Elizabeth be as humane?

  • “Hay, David’s getting ready to cut”
  • New sheep dog for Brookfield
  • David bumps Shula
  • “Oliver is living and breathing hunt puppies at the moment”
  • Who left the gate open?
  • Shula and Caroline
  • No appetite for Open Farm Sunday
  • At least Jill has the grandkids
  • A delightful Canadian lady wants Lower Loxley wine
  • “Thank heavens. I haven’t let my heart rule my head”
  • First half century of the season

“Hay, David’s getting ready to cut”

Was what the announcer said before today’s eavesdropping episode.

Must let him open the early sherry for the live Sunday experience …

New sheep dog for Brookfield

And David’s at pains to make sure Josh (and Ben) know it’s not a pet.

David bumps Shula

Shula seems to be having no luck with her siblings at the moment.

She clip-clops up to Josh and David, but David moves her on quick sharp (with the excuse that he and Josh need to do some halter training).

But Shula seems to be an oasis of calm while the rest of her family fall apart.

I suppose she’s been there, done that.

“Oliver is living and breathing hunt puppies at the moment”

AND he’s got a brand new panama hat.

Must be marvellous being Oliver, sometimes.

Who left the gate open?

That’s bad country code, that is.

Though, it’s just as bad country code to shut a gate you find open. The farmer could have left it that way on purpose.

Leave it as you find it …

Shula and Caroline

Obviously Caroline and Shula have many years between Mark’s death, but they are living proof of how friendship (and rationality) can rise above blame.

Shula often finds herself thinking about how Mark will never get older, and Caroline often thinks of Guy.

Neither are unhappy with their current chaps, but can’t help sometimes pondering what could have been.

[Shula] “That’s what’s so frustrating with Elizabeth … I understand so much of what she’s going through”

No appetite for Open Farm Sunday


David is indeed in a bad way.

At least Jill has the grandkids

Shula was telling Caroline that Jill is beyond distressed with the state of affairs between David and Elizabeth.

But Jill does take solace in her various grandchildren getting on so well.

Bodes well for the future.

But, then again, there’s plenty time for rivalries and fall-outs.

A delightful Canadian lady wants Lower Loxley wine

Good news for Elizabeth, and proves Lewis’ worth (the sale came from the free samples he was giving away at the gallery).

“Thank heavens. I haven’t let my heart rule my head”

Aye, so you are, Elizabeth.

She’s talking about the Falconry.

She was checking to see what Lewis thought she should do. Whether Roy was right that they should try at least another year.

[Lewis] “There’s no point in hiring Roy if you don’t trust his judgement on something like this”

Lewis has also looked at Roy’s figures, and reckons he’s right.

At which, Elizabeth is relieved. She’d actually already told Jessica that she could stay, after she saw her flying Hector.

[Elizabeth] “Thank heavens. I haven’t let my heart rule my head”


Not so the case with how Elizabeth is dealing with David’s revelations.

And also not the case when it comes to Freddie wanting to go and visit Brookfield’s new puppy (doesn’t sound like she’s going to let him).

First half century of the season

By Alistair.

Well done, that man.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

The Archers Friday 27th May 2011: Elizabeth threatens Shula

  • Lilian has no ken for flowers
  • A mention of the brooch
  • Jonti Waters
  • Lilian patronises Jennifer
  • Brian’s bought a bad present
  • More sugar from the Council?
  • “Whit is always frantic”
  • Jennifer stops for Peregrines
  • Porn for the Book Club?
  • Shula was right to be nervous of Elizabeth

Lilian has no ken for flowers

[Lilian to Jennifer] “I know I say it every time, but your tubs do look lovely”

Though Lilian can appreciate a nice set of tubs, she can’t tell the difference between an azalea and a marigold.

Ach well. Those good at gardening need those who aren’t to simply be appreciative.

A mention of the brooch

Lilian asks Jennifer whether she’s seen Peggy’s (seemingly lovely) duck egg blue brooch.

It’s a harbinger of doom, I tell you ….

Jonti Waters

Is a “computer chap” (Jennifer)/IT whiz kid (Lilian) who is in a rush to move into No. 3.

His rush has spoilt some of Lilian’s plans for decorating No. 3:

[Lilian] “If Jonti doesn’t like pebble white while he’s showering, then tough luck”

Never mind.

Hurrah to new fodder.

Lilian patronises Jennifer

Lilian was waiting for Brian, so passing the time with Jennifer more than anything else.

When Brian does show up (he was up checking the hinds – only one or two left to calf), Lilian wants shot of Jennifer:

[Lilian to Jennifer] “ … only a little bit of business … you’d only be bored”

My oh my – Lilian is getting more and more like Matt. Cheeky mare.

Brian’s bought a bad present

He doesn’t seem so sure the pendant he’s got for Jennifer is actually up to the mark – and Lilian certainly doesn’t approve.

Seemingly Lilian doesn’t like Jade.

Don't give her the brooch!!!!

More sugar from the Council?

Lilian was meeting with Brian to tell him that her ‘source’ reckons that two major supermarkets are interested in the current mart site.

So – there might be an opportunity for Brian, Lilian and co. to get a better deal from the Council if they can get out of the old site early. Though that would mean having to get the new site up and running far earlier than planned.

[Lilian] “Brian, you can always close a deal if you make it sweet enough”

[Brian] “Oh now, where have I heard that before”

Brian doesn’t sound convinced. He doesn’t think the information is remotely good enough to even discuss with the rest of the board.

[Brian] “There’s no point in wasting their time based on fairy stores … the faint echo of half a rumour”

Lilian reckons she can go back to her ‘source’ for more tangible evidence:

[Brian] “Don’t bother. I’m make time to meet Matt myself”

1-0 Brian I reckon!

“Whit is always frantic”

For Shula.

[Shula] “lots of eager parents and nervous first timers”

Jennifer stops for Peregrines

Jennifer is very taken with the Peregrines after she spotted them earlier on that day.

She’s was getting quite poetic about seeing the male:

[Lilian] “He? You must have had very good eyesight”

Jennifer, slightly exasperated, explains that the female stays with the chicks while the male heads out hunting.

[Lilian] “Jenny, Jenny, I don’t care if the male saunters into Underwoods Deli for a tray of mixed antipasti and some honey roast ham, I’m simply not interested”


Bit harsh from Lilian, but maybe Jennifer should have found a more enlightened soul to explore the wonders of nature with. Lilian’s strictly a G&T connoisseur.

Porn for the Book Club?

Probably not.

But that Lilian showed an interested in it, liked the cover, and reckons it is:

[Lilian] “racy for Ambridge”

Say something.

But it is Jennifer that’s chosen it. So likely to be a wee bit edgy without being offensive.

Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers?

Shula was right to be nervous of Elizabeth

Shula’s round seeing Elizabeth at Lower Loxley. Shula sounded very unsure of herself, making small talk and complimenting Elizabeth’s new hair-do (which seems to be popular with all).

Eventually, Shula gets down to it.

[Shula] “So, you’re coping alright?”

[Elizabeth] “Did David ask you to come over … or mum?”

Shula explains that she was there on her own account, as she’s worried.

[Shula] “We simply can’t leave matters as they stand … you’re asking the rest of us to takes sides … that’s what it amounts to”

Elizabeth launches into another rant.

[Elizabeth] “All I want is for you and mum and Kenton and Pip and whoever else feels they know what’s best for me, to accept once and for all that I am choosing to have nothing to do with David ever again … that’s all, it’s very simple … and it doesn’t affect the rest of you … why can’t you respect my decision?”

[Shula] “Because he’s your bother, Elizabeth”

[Elizabeth] “Exactly, my brother, someone I should be able to trust, someone who shouldn’t lie to me … I’ve been more than fair to him”

Elizabeth reckons that she could have been more furious when David just after Nigel died, but had decided that both of them had got “caught up in the moment”, so both and neither were to blame.

But now, after David telling her it was his idea, she’s taking it to extremes. The other day, she reckoned David had “goaded” Nigel, today:

[Elizabeth] “he dared Nigel onto the roof!”

[Shula] “He’s been tormenting himself”

[Elizabeth] “Good”

[Shula … sounding a bit terrified now … says the following very gently and tentatively] “When David suggested to go onto the roof, Nigel could have said no …”

Which spins Elizabeth into overdrive rant mode:

[Elizabeth] “Stop it Shula!

“I am so sick of my whole family trying to blame Nigel for what happened

“… and I know why you’re doing it, to make dear precious David feel better about his unforgiveable behaviour

“… I’m not going to let you get away with it, Nigel can’t defend himself anymore, but I can and I will

“Shula, you’re my sister and I love you very dearly, but if dare say one more word about this, one single word, we are finished.”


Elizabeth is one very angry lady right now, and she obviously doesn’t give a hoot who she offends, or loses.
Amazing that she can say all of that to Shula, knowing what she (and Caroline) went through when Mark died.

But then again, there is no-one else in Elizabeth’s world apart from Elizabeth (very occasionally the twins).

Friday, 27 May 2011

The Archers Thursday 26th May 2011: Jazzer and Adam return!

(not that either have been anywhere in particular – just nice they’re near the hidden microphones again)

  • “The Garden Festival is being wrinkly”
  • Adam and Brian gossiping over the lambs
  • Welcome back Jazzer!
  • Weddings, Edible Fats and Quakers
  • Jazzer’s belter of an idea
  • Birds get more photo coverage

“The Garden Festival is being wrinkly”

So says Roy.

But not to worry. Elizabeth reckons she’s “back in gear” now.

Which sounds true enough – but it also sounds like she’s micromanaging again.

Ah well. Roy had to find out what he’s really got himself into, sooner or later.

Adam and Brian gossiping over the lambs

Nice to hear Adam back. And that he and Brian still sound like two washer women when they get together over the lambs (washer women with home county accents and without swearing).

Ruairi’s been showing the new pickers round the farm (and there’s still the chance he’ll end up at Boarding school)

[Brian] “he’s a very level headed young man, is Ruairi”

It’s seemingly Jennifer’s turn to choose the Book Club. She wants her choice to be better than Lynda’s (of Cranford), and Brian has a pop at Susan for persisting to go to the Book Club:

[Brian – taking the Michael] “we must do something to impress the in-laws!”

Neil has been practising hard for the Sticky Wicket.

March lambers have had a great spring – but not so much so “up north”

Ah. The gentle murmurings of Adam and Brian. Nice.

Welcome back Jazzer!

I was starting to worry that Rhys was warming up to be Ambridge’s classic-one-liner chap, but Jazzer roars up on his … well, whatever he was driving today that sounded rather unwell.

[Jazzer] “I’m here to do you guys a wee favour”

Oh aye … what’s he after this time?

Weddings, Edible Fats and Quakers

The forthcoming bookings at Lower Loxley include one green wedding – one normal wedding – 2 days with the Edible fats folks – and the Regional Quakers for a day.

Roy asks what the Quakers are like:

[Elizabeth] “Much quieter than the Methodists”

Jazzer’s belter of an idea

As he explains to Brian and Adam, Jazzer’s idea came to him when he was in the pub with Harry (who he? Long, long time since we heard from Harry).

[Brian] “It’s not a hair brained scheme then. It’s based on proper scientific research …”

[Jazzer] “They kept to themselves the whole time. They didn’t speak to any of the locals. The one time I did go over the guys just circled round like Rottweilers”

[Adam] “ … you’re saying you didn’t meet any of the Hungarian or Polish girls … ”

Jazzer reckons his idea is not just about the girls, although he did spot one particular young lady he might like to be acquainted with:

[Jazzer] “Long Chestnut hair, fantastic legs, and a smile you could warm your hands on …”

So – Jazzer’s belter is that locals should be invited to the socials Home Farm organises for their pickers. Just to be sure they all feel welcome …

Brian and Adam don’t quite seem to believe that Jazzer’s intentions are purely altruistic:

[Brian] “Well see you Jazzer, if the UN doesn’t poach you first …”

[Adam] “I think the pickers are probably quite capable themselves of deciding how much they want to integrate”

Never mind Jazzer.

Where’s there’s a pretty lady, Jazzer will find a way …

Birds get more photo coverage

Hayley slightly dropped Roy in it by mentioning that he had ideas for the Falconry, before had had a chance to talk to Elizabeth about it himself.

Elizabeth sounded a bit put out at first.

But, as she and Roy take a stroll round the Falconry, she seems to warm to at least listen.

Roy’s done his homework good and proper(ly). He points out that birds get more media coverage (regardless of what the event is actually about). That he reckons they can fix some of the Falconry completely with their own material and staff – the rest for about £600. And that he can work on all the promotion, including updating the website, and putting signs up around the state (“I’ve got my eye on you” with a hawk – sounds a bit terrifying!).

He pushes to give the Falconry a year’s reprieve, which Elizabeth will ponder.

Of course, Roy has to be careful to not push Elizabeth too far into making changes that Nigel wouldn’t have made, but he also sees that there’s are ways to improve.

Seems Elizabeth thinks the same:

[Elizabeth] “Never be afraid to make suggestions Roy …even if it feels like sometimes you’re criticising the way things were done before .. I’m trying to draw a line under the past … everything that’s important to me … they’re all here. I’m determined to make Lower Loxley a successful as it possible can be. It’s more or less my whole world now”


But if I was Roy, my boss telling me that my place of employment was ‘their world’ would cause one or two alarm bells to start tinkling.

Ambridge Extra Thursday 26th May 2011: Jamie’s a thief with a conscience

  • Wigging out
  • Kirsty and Rhys are engaged
  • Neither a lender not a borrower
  • Spencer is definitely marriage material
  • Nice present for a fish
  • Alice is still oblivious

Wigging out

Jamie’s pondering a bracelet that he’d like to buy for Natalie.

Marty is not impressed.

[Marty] “I reckon Steve had it spot on … you, you’ve gone soft … didn’t know you were going to turn into a girl as well … look at you, wigging out over some jewellery”

(the Urban dictionary reckons ‘wigged out’ is: Being devoid of reality, To lose sense of normalcy, An out of body experience. To act crazy as a reaction. To briefly flirt with lunacy)

With a heckler hardly being conducive to choosing a present for one’s girlfriend, Jamie’s ready to give up trying to find something. Any anyway, the jewellery is too expensive.

At which point Marty becomes interested again. He wants Jamie to steal it.

[Marty] “What’s the big? You’ll prove that you’re solid. Don’t you want to prove to Steve that he’s wrong .. .stop being a wuss, just swipe it”

So he does.

Kirsty and Rhys are engaged

Well, not really.

It was all just a ruse to wind Fallon up – to get her back for being so adamant that Kirsty and Rhys should date.

Kirsty started off that she also “can’t believe it could be like this”, which made Fallon over the moon.

(Though, when Fallon was checking that all was okay in the bedroom department, she sounded like she was about to ask what exactly does go on in the bedroom department … has Jolene not had ‘that’ talk with Fallon yet?)

Then, during the party that they were at, Rhys and Fallon stopped the music – and made the announcement that they were engaged.

Kirsty keeps laying it on thick. That it was all because of Fallon. That it was her idea.

[Kirsty] “Put preconceptions aside, and just jump straight in”

Fallon starts to sound a bit horrified at the (very loving) monster she’s created. She baulks at Kirsty asking her to be chief bridesmaid.

But Rhys and Kirsty don’t let her stew for long. They tell her the truth, and they all have a good laugh about it.

[Kirsty] “This is about the first thing we’re enjoyed doing together!”

[Rhys] “Put down your bow and arrow!”

Hmm. Very odd behaviour from Fallon, but at least we’re met Rhys properly.

Neither a lender not a borrower

Chas is in a bad way.

He’s now trying to get the folks he’s lent money to (and been harassing ever since with his rather pathetic big man routine) to pay him more back earlier.

Actually. He doesn’t ask. He begs.

Spencer is definitely marriage material

Spencer tells Kirsty that he’s worried about Pip.

He’s starting to think she’s starting to lose interest in him.

Kirsty tells him about the whole David/Elizabeth situation.

Later, he gently tells Pip that he knows. And that he’d totally understand if she needed to spend more time with her family. Also, that’s he’s there for her to talk to.

Bless him indeed. Keep a hold of this one, Pip.

Nice present for a fish

As Marty gets hassled by a goose, Jamie can’t tackle down his sense of guilt over stealing the bracelet.

[Jamie] “It just doesn’t feel right”

He feels bad about stealing it. And worse at the thought of giving Natalie a birthday present that he’s stolen.

So, he chucks it in the river.

[Marty] “What did you do that for? What’s Steve going to say? He’s going to think you’re a right loser now … he’s right, you have gone weird”

Probably would have been better to have taken the bracelet back to the shop, but at least Jamie’s taken another step in the right direction.

Tell the moronic thugs to get lost, young Mr Perks. Go on.

Alice is still oblivious

Chas is in a foul mood.

Alice puts it down to exam stress, and starts wittering on about going on holiday once she’s finished the Uni term. Even thinks of South Africa …

[Chas - shouting] “And I thought you needed to buy a van … I’m glad to see you’re putting my money to good use!”

He later apologies.

[Chas] “I need you, Alice. I’d go stark staring mad if I fell out with you on top of everything else … We need to get through these last few weeks together”

What an odious little creep.

Worse still – where has our Alice gone? She’s an Aldridge, for goodness sake. She should have the second site when it comes to tricksters …

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

The Archers Wednesday 25th May 2011: Cranford at The Book Club

  • On a Wednesday?
  • Robert’s wrestling with a cane backed rocker
  • Cranford doesn’t seem to be popular
  • The Snells are consummate hosts
  • Yat Rock for Lynda’s birthday
  • No pints and banter for David
  • Susan was Cleopatra in a Balloon Debate
  • Jennifer Vs Susan
  • Do they just need their dad?
  • I’d forgotten about Caroline and Mark

On a Wednesday?

I thought the Boob Club was a Friday.


I have read Cranford, but it was many many moons ago. Not sure I’d be able to contribute to the discussion properly …

Robert’s wrestling with a cane backed rocker

Which makes him lose the thread of what Lynda’s saying to (well, at) him.

He’s confused between the Book Club tonight, and Lynda arranging the committee for the Britain in Bloom effort.

Ach well. Better to just nod, Robert.

Cranford doesn’t seem to be popular

Judging by the lack of participants in tonight’s Book Club.

Joe wasn’t there:

[Robert] “Mrs Gaskell’s not quite his cup of tea, or words to that effect”

Robert himself doesn’t sit in on the chat (preferring to serve food and drinks):

[Robert] I’m afraid I find Cranford a little underwhelming … not enough unexplained corpses in the pantry for my liking”

Usha and Jim also couldn’t make it.

The Snells are consummate hosts

Despite guests arriving slightly early for the Book Club:

[Lynda] “Oh,. Not already I haven’t even stoned the olives”

AND Robert somehow surviving with his manhood intact, after telling Lynda to plump the cushions and tidy her hair (I’ll have to have a very long ponder on how that on earth he got away with that).
Robert is composed and generous as he greets the few that have made it along:

[Robert] “Let me take your cloaks and bonnets”

(Well done, that man)

To top it all, as part of their nibbles, they even have blue cornmeal homemade tortilla chips.


Yat Rock for Lynda’s birthday

So they can do a spot of bird watching. Yat Rock also her peregrines nesting.

Wonder if Lynda will find a Lychgate to hide behind.

No pints and banter for David

Kenton unsuccessfully tried to get David to take time away from work, to nip down to The Bull for a couple.

He might have managed it, if he hadn’t mentioned that David can always talk to him. That surely put David right off.

[David] “Talking won’t do anything … I’ve smashed things up for badly with Elizabeth. It can’t be fixed.”

Susan was Cleopatra in a Balloon Debate

Which I thought was Susan being a bit dim again – but it twas I who was being ignorant.

Sorry, Susan.

Jennifer Vs Susan

At the Book Club, Jennifer seemed to dominate – Lynda agreed with Jennifer – Richard was silent (really???) – and Susan was forced to talk by Lynda.

Jennifer quoted Gaskell to illustrate that she felt she found significance in Cranford’s small things.

[Elizabeth Gaskell, Cranford] ''The use made of fragments and small opportunities; . . . [t]hings that many would despise, and actions which it seemed scarcely worthwhile to perform, were all attended to in Cranford.'' 

Whereas Susan reckons Gaskell showed no understanding of retail

Susan seemed to be focused on Miss Matty telling everyone not to buy green tea.

It was her bestseller. It would

[Susan] “have been commercial suicide. That would have been a step too far”

BUT, to stop myself being a snob and sniggering at Susan – I suppose it goes to prove that we all find different meaning in a novel.

Do they just need their dad?

Kenton’s talking to Shula about his failed attempt to get David to the pub, to relax.

[Kenton] “He’s completely adrift. Like the mast has gone”

Shula and Kenton agree that it would have all been different if Phil has still been alive.

Both Elizabeth and David trusted, and talked, to their dad.

I’d forgotten about Caroline and Mark

Shula’s Mark was killed when he swerved to avoid Caroline on her horse (another car had spooked Caroline’s horse – the driver of which was never found).

So, Shula has experience of both her husband dying – and a close friend feeling guilty about the cause of that death.

Shula reckons it must be Elizabeth to tell David that it wasn’t his fault, before he might start to accept it himself. Caroline felt the same guilt as David … if only she hadn’t gone riding …

So, off Shula goes to see if she can persuade Elizabeth to not denounce and demonise David.

[Shula] “You can’t let it destroy your faith or your family … let go of destructive feelings”

You know, I might have a bet in Shula making some headway. She’s quite canny like that.

The Archers Tuesday 24th May 2011: David nearly talks to Oliver

  • Emma is hoping the washing will dry overnight
  • Keira is so surely Will’s child …
  • George has got big feet
  • Lynda’s flapping spoiled Oliver and Caroline’s day out
  • All’s well at Lower Loxley
  • New Johnny Depp film
  • Emma’s a bit evil
  • Oliver nearly helps David
  • Elizabeth is scary

Emma is hoping the washing will dry overnight

Cripes! At this time of year?

Not a chance.

Keira is so surely Will’s child …

Ed calls her trouble, Ruth reckons she’s full of mischief.

Add to that the fact that she’s always grumpy.

George has got big feet

But was determined to get a size of too small shoes onto his feet.

No doubts there then about who that wee chap was fathered by (but if I thought George had been trying to save his mum money – the smaller ones were £5 cheaper – I’d have gone back to wondering if he was Ed’s).

Lynda’s flapping spoiled Oliver and Caroline’s day out

Ed was retelling that Oliver and Caroline had to come back from their trip.

A guest was taken to A&E, but only with “an ankle, or something”.

However, because Lynda flapped, Caroline had to return to take charge.

Wonder if Caroline is starting to think that she has taken too much?

A leaky roof, a trip to A&E … I reckon it’ll take one more incident to send Caroline back to enjoy more free time with Oliver.

All’s well at Lower Loxley

(massive fall-out between Elizabeth and David aside)

Roy hasn’t as yet spotted that Elizabeth has gone off the deep end, so he’s merrily working away at being good at his job.

The ‘Plastic Guy’ has booked rooms for training in July. The Pigeon Fanciers are “perfectly happy and will see us next year”

Patrick even helped Hollerton Primary spot 18 types of bird.

(note the mention of Patrick – the first for a fair while. Wonder if Kirsty will try and force him and Fallon together in revenge?)

But, Roy is on a mission to save the Falconry. He’s been looking at other successful Falconry, and reckons they could make Lower Loxley’s work by getting a better website, have shorter days, make it more family friendly, start selling vouchers.

All great ideas.

But maybe Roy needs to notice that now is not the time to show Elizabeth initiative. It’ll only make her even angrier.

New Johnny Depp film

Is what Elizabeth, Lily and Freddie are off to see at the pictures.

One assumes that’s the new Pirates of the Caribbean.

It’ll take years to get to my wee, hidden neck of the woods.

Score for Ambridge (or more likely Borchester).

Emma’s a bit evil

She firstly can only offer Ed sausage and eggs (seemingly again) for tea.

(and that’s not about it being a ‘wifely’ duty. That’s her job in their household. And anyway, they’re not married)


[Emma] “Like I said to Will … proper little brother and sister. I don’t kno0w if he heard, but he didn’t say anything”


She’s been told, by Susan (who heard it from Clarrie) that Will want another baby.

She should know better than to wind up Will.

Oliver nearly helps David

I’m loving the way Oliver is randomly popping up anywhere and everywhere around Ambridge, as he wanders out of sheer boredom (while Caroline is working).

Today, Oliver is helping David with the silage. And makes a rather astute remark:

[Oliver] “Late Spring when everything got right on top of me”

Not directed at David, it seems a perfectly timed comment. David starts to actually talk about his problems.

[David] “I’m a fat lot of use to anyone … and it’s not just with the NFU, believe me … sometimes I wonder how my family out up with me, I get so much wrong”

[Oliver] “I know how low I got sometimes, I mean, really low”

David starts to tell him what’s happening – but Ed blunders in to take Oliver to see Keira (which was the point of Oliver being in that general direction).

Oliver tells David that he can talk to him, anytime. But David has shut down again.

[David] “Silaging blues, that all. Nothing serious”

Elizabeth is scary

[Elizabeth] “We’ve just agreed, from now on, that they’ll get on with their lives and we’ll get on with ours”

And she’s saying that to her young children.

Yikes. Cold, and harsh.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 24th May 2011: Chas has a wicked brother-in-law

  • Jamie doesn’t use a plate for his bacon sarnie
  • Rhys and Kirsty … Game On
  • Jamie can spot a softening up when it happens
  • Jackie Parker has disappeared
  • Frigid kid?
  • It’s called Borchester because …
  • Pip drinks cinnamon latte
  • Steve and Marty on the nick
  • Aw. Spencer can even tell when Pip’s upset
  • When’s a brother not a brother?

Jamie doesn’t use a plate for his bacon sarnie

And rushes out without a by or leave to Fallon.

Well, I never!

Rhys and Kirsty … Game On

Rhys and Kirsty, after admitting to each other that there is no heart-flutterings between them. Have decided to get their own back on the rather bizarre Fallon (why oh why was she so determined to get them together?).

So looks like the plan is to pretend that Rhys is smitten.

[Rhys] “She’s amazing … I never knew a girl like her … she’s gorgeous, she’s funny, she’s smart … she’s got the most spectacular … There is nothing more riveting than sitting for hours watching a heron waiting for his prey .. .especially if you watch it in a hide … they can be very private places … if you know what I mean … Kirsty Miller has fired arrows straight through my heart”

Rhys later calls Kirsty to tell her he’s hooked Fallon into believing him.

[Rhys] “I can hardly keep my face straight. Touch you!”

(the inference is – as if I would! And Kirsty agrees likewise).

So they reckon it’s “Game on”, wind up Fallon time.

Jamie can spot a softening up when it happens

Jamie is quite perturbed that Jolene has cut his hours back by half, so now he only works a Sunday.

He even noticed Jolene tactics of trying to make it (somehow) less painful with a bacon sandwich.

[Jolene] “She gave me a bacon sandwich to soften me up”

He reckons it’s all Kathy’s fault. So expect a bit more shouting to come …

Problem is – without the cash, how is Jamie going to buy a present for Natalie?

(and I will admit that I really could care less)

Jackie Parker has disappeared

Jackie is the student who owed Chas money. She’s seemingly done a runner.

Alice has heard about it from some of her Uni mates, and tells Chas.

He first just seems angry that he might not see his money.

Then, Chas seemed to be a bit nervous.

Was he starting to feel guilt about the reality of what he does to folks he lends money to? That he causes them stress, worry, does something so horrible to them that they have to run away. In Jackie’s case, she’s run before she could get her degree.

Or, is he more worried about Alice now finding out what he’s been up to?

Frigid kid?

[Marty] “Hey Pip, that’s not a very nice hand gesture”

(Pip has seemingly made a gesture at Steve as he drives by, and makes a bloke-on-a-building-site remark to her)

[Steve] “Is that why you’re going out with my brother then? You don’t like getting interest from a real man.”

[Pip] “No Steve. I’m just not interested in his little brother … get a life”

(Marty starts sniggering)

[Steve] “Shut up Marty. She’s a frigid kid anyway”

What a charmer that Steve is….

It’s called Borchester because …

… it’s boring.

So reckons Marty.

And that’s why I listen to Ambridge Extra. I’ll learning something new every day (!).

Pip drinks cinnamon latte

Oh how young farmers have changed.

Steve and Marty on the nick

While Jamie is off ‘studying’ with Natalie, Steve and Marty steal video games.

How very droll.

Steve reckons Jamie has gone a bit soft for choosing a girl over his mates.

[Steve] “Let Jamie do what he wants. We don’t need him”

Oh, now there’s a happy thought.

If Steve and Marty ‘dump’ Jamie, there might be hope for him after all.

Aw. Spencer can even tell when Pip’s upset

And what’s more, he even cares enough to want her to tell him.

But Pip seems to be an apple fallen close to David’s tree. She won’t tell him.

Ticking time bomb, that whole side of the Archers clan.

When’s a brother not a brother?

When he’s an evil brother-in-law.

Chas in back on the phone to (London) Vince. He has to tell Vince that Jackie has done a runner, so he will be late in paying back the money he loaned from Vince in the first place to loan to Jackie (still with me?).

And the plot thickens.

Vince is a bit perturbed to hear that Chas needs more time to pay him. And mentions that the job he was lining up for Chas in London may not now happen.

Is it a job in the City? As a money collector? A bouncer?

Chas seemingly starts to feel a bit under the cosh.

[Chas] “Please! I’m your brother …”

[Vince] “ … in-law. And how do you think your sister will react when she find out that I’ve lost 16 grand?”

How odd that Chas called his brother-in-law his brother – but odder still that Vince doesn’t seem to give a hoot about his wife’s brother.

Doesn’t seem like quite a nice family at all.

Now Chas has to pay double the interest to Vince, by the end of next week.

And that 16 grand must be the amount Chas loaned to Chris.

Trouble is afoot …

Monday, 23 May 2011

The Archers Monday 23th May 2011: Lynda accosts Jamie from the Lychgate

  • “Jamie …psssst”
  • Kieran Smith’s dad is bring Josh home
  • Jolene and Jamie talk about not a lot for a whole 5 minutes
  • “It was a heck of an argument”

“Jamie …psssst”

Jamie hears a voice from inside the Lychgate. Turns up to be Lynda.

[Lynda] “Jamie … pssst … I’m here. Inside the Lychgate”

[Jamie] “Why are you bent down? Have you had an accident?”

Mais non!

Lynda just wanted Jamie to see the Peregrines – who are proud new parents!

Jamie actually seems quite interested, though I suspect it’s got more to do with the blood and gore of the Peregrines feeding another bird to their young, than the cute factor:

[Jamie] “Ah that’s cool .. the way she’s ripping it into pieces”

Kieran Smith’s dad is bring Josh home

But Josh had forgotten about meeting Jill to go to the hive.

Pity. I do enjoy the Jill and Josh Hive Time (and I’m actually not being sarcastic).

“It was a heck of an argument”

Understatement of 2011 (so far) comes from Ruth!

A heck of an argument?

A bruiser of an argument. A earth-shattering, family-breaking, soul-destroying argument. The worst of the worst.

As well as Jill, Ruth has also been trying to tell David it was an accident, and he shouldn’t blame himself.

Ruth is angry with Elizabeth for being so unreasonable with David, but back down when Jill explains:

[Jill] “She’s trying to make sense of a senseless situation”

Ruth does understand, but is also beyond frustrated that this has all happened when David seemed to be settling back into his ‘normal’ life and frame of mind.

[Ruth] “Every now and then., the shadow seemed to lift for a while … for the first time in ages, she had a kick about with the boys …”

Ruth and Jill agree that need to “nip it in the bud” and:

[Jill] “somehow keep the family together”

Phew. Lots and lots and lots of tea and cake required …

Jolene and Jamie talk about not a lot for a whole 5 minutes

Someone must have forgotten to switch over the secret microphone.

Surely they didn’t mean for us to listen in to Jamie and Jolene talking about him having less work at The Bull?

Jolene made Jamie a bacon sarnie to soften him up. Then told him that she doesn’t have as much work for him, for at least a few weeks, until Summer kicks up. So he can’t work a Saturday anymore. And Jamie is a bit put out that he won’t have as much money in his pocket.

No-one screamed or got upset. Jamie seemed to accept that the lady wasn’t for turning.

[Jolene] “Don’t make a big deal of it”

Interesting. It wasn’t that interesting, and no-one actually made a big deal out of it, but the chat seemed to go on for a fair while.

Filling time?

The Archers Sunday 22nd May 2011: Neither Kenton nor Jill can persuade Elizabeth

  • How long does it take to fix a waste bin?
  • “I should have waited before blundering in”
  • Elizabeth threatens Kenton
  • Come on Neil – it’s got Almond icing!
  • “Barry still gets his hair cut from the 1980s”
  • Ambridge lost at cricket
  • Jolene wants to prove herself to Kathy
  • Clarrie’s useless at keeping family secrets
  • Ambridge … the new Cranford?
  • “If David hadn’t goaded …”

How long does it take to fix a waste bin?

Only five minutes, according to Elizabeth.

She’s turning into a bit of a Victorian factory owner, though.

Fancy expecting Aaron (her employee – probably on rock bottom wage) to come in on his day off to fix it.

Almost as if she’s lady of the manor …

[Elizabeth] “I want things running smoothly when I’m off. I won’t be taken advantage of …”

But it’s okay to take advantage of a poor salary monkey? You’ll be first against the wall with that sort of talk, Elizabeth

“I should have waited before blundering in”

Kenton tried to talk to Elizabeth about David, but she was having none of it.

Then launched into an almighty rant:

[Elizabeth] “How do you think it felt? Finding out that David was responsible for what happened. That was dreadful enough, but what I can begin to get over … to admit he’s been lying about it ever since …my own brother, here coming here virtually every day to help out, and saying nothing

“How about having a bit of courage and opening his mouth … to be so deceitful … well damn him!”

[Kenton] “Then be mad with me as well. It’s as much as my fault as his … I mean, it was my idea to put the banner there in the first place”

[Elizabeth] “You didn’t taunt Nigel … you didn’t work beside me … knowing what you’d done, saying absolutely nothing about it”

[Kenton] “I’m sorry. I should have waited before blundering in”

Elizabeth threatens Kenton

After ranting about David, Elizabeth then warns Kenton off trying to even begin mending the rift.

She basically said that he’d better not talk about it again to ensure:

[Elizabeth] “we’re going to be alright in the future”


Elizabeth could end up with no family if she carries out threats like that.

[Elizabeth] “Just accept I never want anything to do with David again”

She’s only going to make it easy for the rest of the clan to choose sides …

Come on Neil – it’s got Almond icing!

Neil is very non-plussed about his birthday.

He’s only 54 (by my reckoning), but his cricket mates seem to be taking the Michael that he’s now a bit over the hill.

But Susan is still planning a “few sandwiches and a bit of cake … with almond icing”

Now there’s an offer a birthday boy can’t refuse – no matter what age!

Neil’s also got fire in his belly about the Single Wicket. He reckons he’ll prove himself by winning.

My money is on Jamie.

“Barry still gets his hair cut from the 1980s”

So says Neil.

Ambridge lost at cricket

To Paxley.

Jolene wants to prove herself to Kathy

At last – Jolene’s taking Kathy seriously.

Kathy was in The Bull, “not in the best of moods” according to Jolene.

She wasn’t happy that Jamie was still working in The Bull during his exams. Jolene had to explain that Jamie simply hadn’t told her that he’s agreed with Kathy to talk about it.

[Jolene] “She said she felt let down … she’d been counting on my support”

So, Jolene’s going to trim down Jamie’s hours so that Kathy knows she’s taking notice of her wishes.

There ya go Jamie – pincher movement. About time!

Clarrie’s useless at keeping family secrets

While working with Susan, Clarrie’s let slip about the whole Will wanting to procreate with Nic issue.

[Susan] “ … and she said both her boys are natural fathers … that’s when she let it slip …’our William would love another one’ …”


Susan bided her time before pushing Clarrie on what she’s just said (and tried to ignore she’d just said)

[Neil] “Don’t tell me you actually got on with some work””

[Susan] “Waited a few minutes, until we’d made some headway with fruits of the forest … turns out she (Nic) didn’t like the idea at all … I can’t help it if Clarrie confides in me”

So, Clarrie has told Eddie and Susan when she shouldn’t. Clarrie has now told Neil and Emma (!) when she shouldn’t.

Seemingly Emma was fascinated about the news (I’ll bet!), though Susan reckons that when she said to Clarrie she wouldn’t tell anyone, it didn’t meant she wouldn’t tell family.

And in amongst all of that, Neil can’t get to his pigs for Susan getting in the way.

Ambridge … the new Cranford?

Susan seems to be slowing down in her new found passion about reading.

While she claims that she’s ‘savouring’ Cranford (the next Book Club book), it just sounds like she’s finding it a bit of a bore.

[Clarrie] “Jennifer’s right. It’s a landmark of 19th century literature … all that seems to happen in it is all the women in Cranford get together and spend their time gossiping”

[Neil] “Oh. Nothing like Ambridge then”

“If David hadn’t goaded …”

Jill is having a go at talking to Elizabeth about David.

Elizabeth isn’t having it. But Jill isn’t one for giving up on her family.

[Jill] “Elizabeth, we mustn’t let this tragedy because even worse … what happened to Nigel … there’s no logic or reason to it … there’s non-one to blame either … you mustn’t’ let it break up the family … it’s not about fault .. what happened was a tragic, meaningless accident … that’s the awful truth”

But, Elizabeth reckons that it is squarely David’s fault. He “goaded” Nigel into going up on that roof, and has

[Elizabeth] “destroyed my family”

Jill’s going to have to do more than tea and cake to heal this one …

Saturday, 21 May 2011

The Archers Friday 20th may 2011: Now David again blames himself

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

  • Betty’s hen, Ginger
  • Ruth must be ever so tired of repeating herself
  • Eddie reckons No. 3 is being done “on the cheap”
  • Can Jill sort this one?
  • When’s Kenton going to come clean?

Betty’s hen, Ginger

Freddie is writing a story for school, about the time Eleanor (Nigel’s bird) escaped, and killed a hen.

Elizabeth remembers that it was Betty Tucker’s hen, Ginger, that Eleanor killed.

Poor Ginger.

Ruth must be ever so tired of repeating herself

David’s suffering badly from Elizabeth telling him to “go to hell” after he told her it was his idea for him and Nigel to go up on that roof.

[David] “I could have prevented it … if I hadn’t suggested it … it wouldn’t have happened”

[Ruth] “You suggested it. You didn't make Nigel do it … it was just one of those terrible things that happened … all those 'if onlys' don’t mean you’re responsible for what happened”

True enough, Ruth. She’s also right that Nigel knew the risks of his own roof, even more so that David.

[Ruth] “It was terrible fluke, a combination of so many things. You can’t take it all on yourself. It’s not fair”

But David’s not listening. He’s making himself busy with farm work, so Ruth is wasting her breath.

Eddie reckons No. 3 is being done “on the cheap”

He’s one to talk!

He reckons the builder Matt is using is known for cutting corners.

He’s also annoyed that the builders have made it impossible to walk on the pavement outside No.3, as it’s full of stuff.

Even someone with a mobility scooter couldn’t get by.

(as if Eddie would normally notice or care!)

Can Jill sort this one?

Ruth tells Jill what happened between David and Elizabeth.

[Ruth] “He made it sound like he was totally to blame – like he’d given Nigel no option”

Jill doesn’t take sides, and tries to get Elizabeth to talk over the phone.

But even wonder-mum Jill can’t get Elizabeth to calm down.

Ruth has another try at soothing/reasoning David:

[Ruth] “David, please. You’ve suffered enough. You’ve got to forgive yourself for what has happened.”

[David] “Elizabeth will never forgive me. So how am I supposed to live with that?”

Time and Jill might change Jill’s mind?

Either way, it’s meant David and Ruth have had to cancel their night out.


That only happens once every few years.

When’s Kenton going to come clean?

So David has told (what he sees) as the truth about Nigel’s death, and that it’s his (David’s) fault.

When’s Kenton going to unburden about that knot?

The Archers Thursday 19th May 2011: Elizabeth blames David

click the 'read more' title above, of the link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

  • Roy and Hayley have a new car, but a stroppy Phoebe
  • Nightmares about silver trays
  • The truth of how Nigel came to die

Roy and Hayley have a new car, but a stroppy Phoebe

As much as Hayley is delighted to be able to drive their brand new car (I’ve yet to have the experience myself – does anyone ever buy new (new) cars these days), even the shiny new bonnet can’t distract her and Roy from the gloom and doom that is Phoebe.

[Hayley] “I didn’t know how long she can keep up being quite so sulky … just assuming she can swan off on Kate’s say so”

So – sounds like Roy and Hayley have put the kibosh on Phoebe and Kate’s plan for Phoebe to go and live in South Africa for a bit.

Roy again reckons she’ll just get over it. Methinks this is either going to be months of a moping Phoebe, or Kate will spirit her away regardless.

Nightmares about silver trays

Elizabeth’s taken a picnic over to David as he works on her pasture.

It’s a fine one, with smoked salmon, salad, meats, cheeses, grapes, bread and raspberry roulade.

Elizabeth and he are talking about how good Roy is for Elizabeth, leading to David feeling okay to tell Elizabeth how stressful he found trying to manage Lower Loxley.

Especially that wedding.

Especially trying to find that bloomin’ silver tray.

[David] “I kept having nightmares about that silver tray”

Then Elizabeth tells David how much he help meant to her. That him being there helped her get out of bed in the morning. Helped her cope.

[Elizabeth] “You’ve been more than just my brother … you’ve been my biggest ally right through”

As they have a bit of a brotherly/sisterly love-in about how much they mean to each other, David obviously reckons it the time to unburden himself of the ‘truth’ …

The truth of how Nigel came to die

David tells Elizabeth that going up on the roof that night was his idea. That, despite Elizabeth telling him and Nigel not to, he wanted to save himself coming back the next day.

[David] “I just know I couldn’t accept your thanks without telling you the truth”

Oh dear.

Elizabeth hears it as David telling her that it was his fault Nigel had died. After all, that is what David himself sometimes thinks …

[Elizabeth] “You …persuaded him to go up on the roof that night …

“It was because of you he went, to save yourself coming back …

“ … Nigel died so you could save yourself a bit of time …

“ I’ve been so angry with him. I blamed him for going up there when it was obviously so dangerous, for leaving us … how could you let me think that David, let Lily and Freddie blame him?

“ … and all the time … how could you have lied to me David, all these months.

“Here you’ve been, Saint David … when all along you know, you knew, you were responsible for my husband’s death … and here I was thanking you ..

“… go to hell David …

“ …don’t you come near me or my children ever again!”


That will have put silver trays into perspective ...

Ambridge Extra Thursday 19th May 2011: Chas is no match for Lesley

click the title above, or the'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

  • Confused.com
  • Just good friends?
  • Alice’s ring broke?
  • Kirsty and Rhys on a date, round 2
  • Lost your words, Chas?


Nope. Still can’t get used to the warped timing of the parallel universe that is Ambridge Extra.

Kathy didn’t know that Jamie had a girlfriend, whereas in last night’s proper Archers she’s bumped into them.

Then later, Jamie’s moaning because he and Natalie had just bumped into Natalie.

Very confusing indeed

Just good friends?

Paulie (Alice and Chas’ flatmate) and his girlfriend Brooke are chatting about exactly just how friendly they reckon Chas and Alice actually are.

[Brooke] “Is the head board banging?”

Brooke later corners Chas to try and get the intel.

At first Chas is fairly honest:

[Chas] “Alice? She’s like a sister to me”

[Brooke] “I’ve seen the way she looks at you”

Then, pushed by Brooke, he starts revealing what he (and only he) sees as happening between him and Alice.

[Chas] “We do like each other, okay. It’s complicated … I think Alice wants to prove something, to have the perfect marriage”

Chas’ theory is that because Alice had to suffer Brian and Jennifer’s marriage problems (Brian’s wanderings), she married the boy next door because he was “safe and boring” and

[Chas] “she can play Wendy houses with him”

So Chas reckons Alice is just play pretending with Chris, and (I’m assuming) is actually slowly coming round to the fact that she really wants Chas.

Trouble is, Chas seems unhinged enough to wreak havoc before Alice wakes up to how much of an ar*e he really is.

[Brooke] “She might be hitched but it’s those two who act like they’re married”

Aye – but it’s a marriage where the wife does what she’s told without realising she is being told what to do, and where the husband is a bit of a nutter …

Alice’s ring broke?

Is that what Paulie said?

What on earth was she doing?

Kirsty and Rhys on a date, round 2

This time, Rhys is on Kristy’s turf. And it’s making him chilly.

[Rhys] “It’s normally the bloke who has to give his coat”

After seeing one young snipe, Rhys is delighted to think they’re about to head to The Bull. But is then disappointed that Kirsty is just moving them to the bird hide.

They see a Reed Warbler.

Rhys tries to use the cold as an excuse to get cuddly with Kirsty

[Rhys] “Isn’t that what Ray Mears would do … share body heat”

But play is interrupted by a Kingfisher. And a rather unenthusiastic Kirsty (also seemed Rhys wasn’t that interested either – just doing what he though was expected).

As they’re leaving, they both admit that they’re not exactly suited.

[Rhys] “We make a fine couple don’t we …these dates, they’ve been a disaster”

[Kirsty] “Yeah, yeah they have”

So mates it is.

But not before they exact revenge … Fallon best beware!

Lost your words, Chas?

Well, that was a pleasure to hear someone get the better of Chas.

Chas had gone round to poor Reggie’s to try and squeeze money out of him.

[Reggie] “The things is. There’s someone I want you to meet. Lesley, my brother.”

(Chas starts to snigger that Lesley is a bloke …)

[Lesley] “What? You think that’s funny? I don’t find you very funny. I hear you’ve been giving my little brother hassle over a loan. Maybe you’d like to discuss it with me”

(Chas starting muttering and stuttering. Lesley must be a big bloke …)

Lesley gets the measure of Chas quickly:

[Lesley] “… some trumped up little posh boy playing the hard man …”

And sends Chas off without any more.

Chas did make a wee bit of an effort to appear threatening to Reggie at the end, but hopefully Lesley will be there to gently persuade him to leave again next time …

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

The Archers Wednesday 18th May 2011: Lone Wolves

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

  • David and Ruth are leaving Brookfield!!!!
  • Kenton’s one to talk (about bad timing with women)
  • Does Jolene believe her own lies?
  • “the baying of lone wolves”
  • Oliver wanted Jolene to feel a new person
  • Elizabeth is looking “wild”
  • Some bloke and a marrow

David and Ruth are leaving Brookfield!!!!

Fine, it is for one evening, but it’s as shocking as if we’d heard they were selling up to buy a whore hoose.

[Ruth] “I think you better brace yourself … more good news …we can cut the supplementary feeding”

Which means they’re finally turning a decent profit.

With David in an increasingly chirpy mood, he then suggests that they get Pip to babysit Friday, so that they can go out for a meal.

Wonder what “really pushing the boat out” looks like when you’re David and Ruth.

Kenton’s one to talk (about bad timing with women)

Kenton reckons Jamie starting to see Natalie during his exams is ‘bad timing’.


I don’t ever recall Kenton particularly timing his dalliances with the female gender particularly well.

Does Jolene believe her own lies?

I don’t make it a month since Jolene had her last cigarette.

She was sneaky a crafty puff right up to when they went to Monte Carlo – then has managed to stay clean.

So it won’t be a month for at least 3 or 4 more days (if not more).

Kenton doesn’t know that, of course. So he’s gone and got her a nice surprise.

Jolene also seems genuinely chuffed that she's managed to do a month.

But she hasn’t.


“the baying of lone wolves”

Kenton’s surprise for Jolene is a “deluxe beauty treatment” at Grey Gables.

I had to check with fellow eavesdroppers on twitter when I thought that Kenton mentioned Jolene will be relaxing to soft music, and

[Kenton] “the baying of lone wolves”

My fellow Twitter eavesdroppers concurred that Kenton did say that.

And later, Kenton asked Jolene how she got on with the lone wolves. She said she had to “imagine them”.

Is this normal during a beauty treatment?

Are baying wolves a relaxing sound??

I have no ken.

If so, I wonder if my hounds could earn me a few bob if I took them into a local beautician to bay at their customers.

Surely the live thing would be better? Less stress than to imagine them …

(I know a hound isn’t a wolf, but all dogs are actually wolves at heart. Even the teeny handbag ones)

Oliver wanted Jolene to feel a new person

That Oliver is quite crafty, really.

Kenton asks his advice as a mate, and Oliver manages to turn it into a sale for Grey Gables.


That poor man.

He’s so (so) bored.

Elizabeth is looking “wild”

According to Freddie.

So she’s going to get her hair cut.


Some bloke and a marrow

(tonight’s eavesdropping episode was quite slow, by the way).

Chatting about the Single Wicket to David (who is going to get Josh to sign up), Kenton told some story about a bloke – who lived next to another cricket ground – had a cricket ball crash through his greenhouse – into his prize marrow – reckoned it was deliberate (as it would indeed have won prizes) – so took the cricket stumps in case they also tried to get his courgettes.

Not exactly the funniest tale Kenton has ever told.

Ho hum.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

The Archers Tuesday 17th May 2011: Peggy makes a brooch

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  • (… I’ll say this in a whisper, but seems Jamie is being normal again …)
  • The pigeon fanciers annual do
  • A “really rather nice” brooch
  • Brooch of doom?
  • The fight for the Falconry
  • Nae luck – Jamie has to introduce Natalie to Kathy
  • Peggy has always loved duck egg blue, and Elona was right

(… I’ll say this in a whisper, but seems Jamie is being normal again …)

Kathy’s taking Jamie to the first of his exams. He’s a bit moody (which is fair do), but he does say ‘thanks’ to Kathy for taking him.

Later on, he also compliments Kathy on making a “great fish pie”.

But most amazingly – he doesn’t go ape when Kathy suggests he might want to spot working at The Bull during his exams. He actually listens, and seems to agree (though his grunts can sometimes be hard to translate).

Could this be the new dawn? Probably is down to the new Natalie …

The pigeon fanciers annual do

Is at Lower Loxley.

Elizabeth won’t be there, so she’s prepping Roy that they are a “nice bunch”, but they can also be a “bit intense”.

Seemingly Nigel had to pull a couple of them apart after one accused the other of cheating.


A “really rather nice” brooch

Peggy’s absolutely chuffed to bits with the brooch she made at ted’s workshop.

She reckons it’s:

[Peggy] “really rather nice”

Bless her wee socks.

Jill, in her usual brusque manner, manages to make (what I imagine was meant to be) an encouraging comment sound like a put-down:

[Jill] “You actually finished something”

But no mind. Ted reckon’s it’s 5% talent and 95% application – so Peggy is bound to create further masterpieces.

Brooch of doom?

Lest we forget Nigel finding that old brooch of Julia Pargetter, which then become the last gift he ever gave to Elizabeth.

Wonder of Peggy’s brooch will wind up featuring in a similar way for one of her brood.

A far cleverer thought came from @eatcakebehappy over on Twitter … “.or the agent of doom...that shed might not be too hygienic.....”


The fight for the Falconry

Roy’s barely found out where the peg is for his jacket is at, but he’s already (potentially) getting controversial).

He wasn’t convinced that Elizabeth had made the right call to shut the Falconry, so he’s been back through the books.

It would seem that when the Falconry is sold/promoted as part of a package, it gets far more folks.

(see – I said it would come down to marketing!).

Hayley’s also a fan of the Falconry for the guests:

[Hayley] “it is a really good focus activity”

for the school kiddies.

So, Roy’s just got to pick his moment.

Save the Birds! (and Jessica!!!)

Nae luck – Jamie has to introduce Natalie to Kathy

It could have been worse. Kathy just bumped into them when she was out shopping (no snogging or other stuff to really get Jamie embarrassed).

Natalie does again seem to be a nice lass. She chats with Kathy as if she’s just another human being (not an alien monster, as Jamie’s blokey mates tend to treat her, and any other parent they slope across)

She also calls her Mrs Perks. I must be getting old fashioned, as I really like it when young ‘uns do that.

AND Natalie’s gran also makes fish pie.

Later on:

[Kathy] “ I was so surprised … seeing you with someone … it would have been nice to know you had a girlfriend”

But she says it in a very no-confrontational way.

And Jamie doesn’t seem to mind.

Blimey! Looks like we’re on the final straight (but still whisper it, just in case).

Peggy has always loved duck egg blue, and Elona was right

Seemingly Peggy has always found it be a calming colour,

Elona has also seemed to have done a grand job of calming Peggy down in her thoughts about her friendship with Fred.

[Peggy] “I suppose Jack wouldn’t mind my friendship with him … I spend so much time worrying about Jack, trying to care for him, not that I resent it it’s as if one part of you gets totally neglect, I don’t think that can be good for me or Jack”

And what’s more – Jill can join in the fun! Jill also has a lot on her plate, so taking time out to be “creative”, and enjoy the company.

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 17th May 2011: Jamie’s bullied by a girl

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

  • Chris signs up
  • Alice makes a homophobic remark
  • Rhys gees up Jamie
  • Natalie makes Jamie do her bidding
  • Rhys takes Kirsty for a ride
  • Chas has Alice completely under the cosh
  • Please stop blasting music at me

Chris signs up

What an idiot.

Chris has signed up with Chas for the money, and then had to suffer Chas taking the Michael out of him not being able to keep Alice is the manner to which she is accustomed.

Alice makes a homophobic remark

[Alice to Chas] “If I’m a princess, then you’re a big queen”


I’m not too sure what to make of that.

Alice really has had a major personality transplant for Ambridge Extra.

Rhys gees up Jamie

It’s Jamie’s exams tomorrow, and Rhys is giving him a bit of a pep talk.

It’s basically the ‘knuckle down, it’ll soon be over’ speech, but Jamie does seem to listen to Rhys.

Natalie makes Jamie do her bidding

What a wee shame on Jamie. He’s bullied by Steve and co into doing stuff he doesn’t necessarily want to do – and now Natalie is twisting him round her wee finger.

He’s just finished his shift at The Bull, and needs to get back home to study.

But Natalie calls, and begs Jamie to come over to hers.

She’s been studying all day, is fed and now feels sick at the thought of her exams.

Rather than tell her that he needs to get his work done, Jamie consents, and heads over.

Not much of a competition though – studying, or snogging.

Anyhoo, he does get his snogging. But he also gets Natalie’s take on what tomorrow’s exam might involve.

“Inform – explain – describe … complex phrases”

You feel Jamie sinking deeper and deeper into a mind frame of “’I know feuck all, and the exam is tomorrow’.

(which is a nightmare that I still get – though mine is always about maths).

Rhys takes Kirsty for a ride

She has to make it under her own steam, though.

They’re off on their bike ride to the pub.

Kirsty seems hopeful that her bike is too rubbish to let her go on the ride, but Rhys fixes it in a jiffy.

So off they set on, to Kirsty’s horror, a whopping two hour bike ride.

A lot of panting and nettles later, Kirsty sounded like she wanted to kiss the ground when they finally got to the pub.

She decides she definitely prefers bird watching to bike riding

[Kirsty] “No stings, No chaffing. You can normally still walk afterwards”

Rhys takes that as an invite to go bird watching, which he’s more than keen to do.

But Kirsty doesn’t seem too keen to spend more time with Rhys …

[Rhys] “You can show me the difference between a blue and a grey tit”

[Kirsty] “Well, if that’s what you’d like …”

Chas has Alice completely under the cosh

[Alice] “Our own home Chris, and we’ve got Chas to thank for that”


Why neither of these previously quite intelligent young folks can spot that Chas in an Ar*e, I don’t know.

Chris was starting to say that he reckons Chas makes him feel off, but Chas interrupted.

Chris had to leave shortly, so he and Alice to go out for a bit, but Chas manages to tag along.

Alice returns to the flat (after Chris got rid of Chas), to find Chas and Paulie doing pull ups on the door.

All fairly innocuous stuff – but put it all together, and most sane folks will decide that Chas is an ar*e.

But not Alice.

[Alice] “You’re amazing Chas. It’s so generous”

And now she’s cooking for him! Because he has studying to do! But she has studying to do! And Chris is paying interest for Chas’ ‘generosity’!!!

After cooking him his tea, Alice then has to spend yet more time with Chas.

[Chas] “Okay then,. I’ll go warm up the sofa”

Oh goodness me! Where’s our Alice?

Please stop blasting music at me

We had another musical interlude. Which (sounding like a grumpy old lady), I really don’t like.

Radio 1 is for music, Radio 4 is for talk.


Monday, 16 May 2011

The Archers Monday 16th May 2011: Kate drops a clanger

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

  • Kate hasn’t even done anything yet
  • Elizabeth is also back to herself
  • Roy is also cheerful
  • Eddie’s not going to let it lie
  • Oliver prefers letters to emails
  • Now the birds leave Freddie!
  • That was particularly evil. Even for Kate.

Kate hasn’t even done anything yet

But Hayley is already in a mood with her.

[Hayley] “Kate just winds her up, that’s the trouble … wish she’d just let her be sometimes … what state Phoebe will be in when Kate goes off again, I don’t know”

Then Kate calls to say that she’s going to collect Phoebe from school, and take her out for tea. She and Phoebe seemingly have something to talk about.

[Hayley] “She just wades in and hijacks her again and again”

Oh Hayley – the worse is still to come.

Elizabeth is also back to herself

Looks like all of the Jill/Phil side of the Archer clan are all bouncing back at the same time.

After David feeling a spring in his step yesterday, both Lewis and Haley reckon Elizabeth is also a bit more like herself.

Roy is also cheerful

It’s joy abound in Ambridge at the moment.

Roy is also feeling chipper, as he’s getting up in the morning to something new.

He and Hayley are also looking to getting their new car (which comes with Roy’s new job). Especially as Hayley had to “really yell” at her current “old banger”.

Eddie’s not going to let it lie

[Eddie] “It doesn’t seem fair”

Eddie’s on about Will again. Though Will doesn’t know it as yet, Nic isn’t going to have a baby with him.

Eddie reckons it’s really rough on Will. He looks after Jake and Mia as if they were his own, and he has to cope with his son only being “on loan” to him.

Oliver prefers letters to emails

Despite having the puppy show to organise, Oliver seems to be at a complete loss with himself at the moment.

Seems to be wandering about Ambridge, randomly banging into other residents, who then (randomly) ask his advice.

Today it’s Kenton. He wants advice on what present to get Jolene for not smoking for a whole month (ah … more like a couple of weeks, unbeknownst to Kenton).

Anyhoo, Oliver was chuffed that some of his puppy show invitations were answered by emails, not sounded not so chuffed that Caroline seems to be thriving with her new increased workload at Grey Gables.

He’s taking her away for a short break, to remind her that there’s a world beyond Grey Gables, but looks like he might have to continue wandering Ambridge on his own for a bit longer …

Now the birds leave Freddie!

I didn’t spot this until Roy found Freddie in the Falconry (as Roy was going to have a word with the very despondent Jessica).

But, Freddie is surely going to fall to pieces when they take the birds away from him. His dad, the horse, some of the cattle … not his birds.

Everyone leaves Freddie.

Freddie was telling Roy about how he and Nigel used to work a lot with the birds.

[Freddie] “It seems like they’ve always been here”

Oh dear.

Freddie could even reassure Roy that Hector (the bird) wasn’t really angry:

[Freddie] “it’s just his normal expression”

That was particularly evil. Even for Kate.

Kate’s at Roy and Hayley’s, after having dropped Phoebe back:

[Kate] “She’s just loads more confident since she came to stay with us over Easter …”


[Kate] “Oh, by the way, Phoebe was telling me how she’s like to come over to South Africa to live me with for a while. I said it was a great idea. We’ll talk it through when I have more time. I’ll see myself out. Thanks for the coffee. Bye”

What! What what what!!! I know Kate is an evil witch sometimes, but that was pure, cold, evil.

What a female dog she is!

[Hayley] “Can you believe her, because I can’t”

[Roy] “I’m afraid I can, yeah”

[Hayley] “She’s actually encouraged Phoebe in this fantasy … she shoots her mouth off without a second thought … I mean how irresponsible is that. I don’t want her to go and live in South Africa, Roy”

[Roy] “Look, Hayley, this is Kate, remember. She’s full of talk. She flits from one thing to the next. It’s never going to happen”

I don’t know why Roy reckons he’s not surprised by Kate’s behaviour, yet can so grossly underestimate her.

Hayley reckons that, even if Kate goes off the idea, Phoebe will still be impossible about it.

[Hayley] “Honestly, if she hasn’t gone when she did,. I don’t think I could have controlled myself”

We’d all have been there with you Hayley!

The Archers Sunday 15th May 2011: David’s back!

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  • David has a spring in his step
  • Clarrie chips it out of Nic
  • Ambridge won at cricket
  • Eddie’s for the father’s rights

David has a spring in his step

Looks like David is back to form. He’s cheery, getting lots of work done and even lets Pip off with not checking the tyre pressure on her car.

[Ruth] “Pip even said she heard you humming in the shower at 5 this morning. You better watch it or I’ll think you’ve been abducted by aliens and replaced with a new model”

[David] “I do feel a bit more positive”

The milk yield is settling down, the grass is coming up fine for silage (Ruth reckons “it’s like money in the bank”) and there’s definite signs of summer.

Ruth did admit that she nearly suggested David go to talk to someone:

[David] “Ha! It’s alright, I’ll stick with the Ruth therapy. It seems to do the trick”

Ruth is also fine with David helping Elizabeth for a few days. She’s not so worried now Elizabeth has proper support with Roy as her manager, and she also agrees that David helping her out was the right thing to do.

[David] “It’s so good to be able to just draw breath and take in that view … we never have time to appreciate it really, do we …I do feel different. Like we’ve really turned a corner.”

[Ruth] “I’d almost given up on hearing you ever say that”

Clarrie chips it out of Nic

Carrie’s trying to ask Nic what’s wrong, but Nic is doing her best to avoid having to talk.

She even pulls up a plant instead of a weed to create a distraction. Steady on there!

After pulling apart Mia and Jake from fighting over a wind up dog that doesn’t wind up anymore, Clarrie manages to get Nic to put the kids to best and sit down over a nice cuppa.

[Clarrie] “If there’s something that’s worrying you, you know you can tell me, if it helps”

Nic feels like she’s talking behind Will’s back (well, she’s right he won’t be pleased when he finds out she’s spoken to Clarrie before him), but Clarrie persists.

[Nic] “It’s just Will … he keeps talking about having another baby … I don’t know Clarrie … I feel really bad about it … I know it means a lot to him, I wish I could say yes, but I really can’t”

Clarrie guesses right that Nic feels she’s already done the having kids duty. Nic feels that she’s starting to be able to have time for herself, that she already has a “lovely little family” and that she also loves working at The Bull. She likes the banter, and being part of the community.

Not sure about her claim that they can’t afford to have another baby, though. I thought Will was fairly well off (comparatively).

Anyhoo – she’s “terrified” of telling Will that she doesn’t want a baby, as it’ll cause a huge row.

Delaying it isn’t going to help, and now that Clarrie knows …

Ambridge won at cricket


Eddie’s for the father’s rights

[Eddie] “Does William have a say in it, or what … how hard it is for William not to have his son with him … I just think it’s very hard on the lad that’s all, well if he wants another kid … I just hope he gets to see plenty of George, that’s all”

Fair enough. It is tough on Will that Nic doesn’t want a baby, but what can he do about it.

Nothing (surely?).

I wonder if Eddie will take Will’s side if a custody battle starts up …