Saturday 14 May 2011

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 10th May 2011: Kirsty’s barbeque

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

  • Fallon’s a bit scary
  • Chas propositions Alice
  • Why the blast of music?
  • Jamie woos Natalie
  • Jacqueline is another Chas victim
  • The day after the barbeque
  • Mr Big
  • Ah – there’s the interest



Fallon’s a bit scary

I’m not too sure why Fallon is so determined to get Rhys and Kirsty together, but she’s going about it with all the tact of Nick Griffin!

[Kirsty] “Fallon said you might come”

[Rhys] “No might about it. Gave me the time off. Drove me here. If I let her, I reckon she’d have picked out my t-shirt”

I’m spotting problems between Kirsty and Rhys’ compatibility. She likes cider. He likes bitter. Rhys isn’t interested in organic food.

[Rhys] “I’ll eat anything. More e numbers the better”

After making sure they say hello, Fallon then makes sure they stay together. She goes to get them drinks. Then has to leave again as she “forgot” her drink. She then drags Spencer and Pip away (as they have the cheek to stop to chat to Rhys and Kirsty) to help get another table out. But there’s no table to be taken out.

Then, Fallon tells Spencer and Pip to divert anyone who interrupts Rhys and Kirsty.

What on earth is wrong with Fallon? Is she on some sort of commission?



Chas propositions Alice

Here it comes – Chas offers Alice the money that Chris needs to buy a van, to then take over the Farrier business.

[Alice] “Have you really got £15 or £16,000 you don’t need?”

[Chas] “Well, as it happens, the timing is very propitious”

(ar*e)

Chas spins a very shallow and obvious story about a relative he hardly knew leaving him the money (aye right then!). Who’d fall for that.

Well, Alice.

[Chas] “Here’s an opportunity to share my good opportunity with my friends … take as long as you want. The bank of Chas is open all hours”

And he reckons he’ll lend it interest free.

Again – aye right then!


Why the blast of music?

That was bizarre. A solid blast of music. I thought I’d hit the wrong button on the radio.

Goodness me – being ‘down with the kids’ is quite distracting!


Jamie woos Natalie

Out on a date with Natalie, Jamie seems to be doing quite well. Might have something to do with Steve and co. not being around.

He did get off to a shaky start:

[Natalie] “You never seem interested”

[Jamie] “Well it was Steve’s idea … he pushed me into it”

Yup. Every young lady likes to know that her date is there cause his pals made him.

But, either Natalie is a bit dim, or understands Jamie better than I do.

She just read that as him being a bit shy.

They bond over someone called Mark Prescott (who seemingly has a face like a potato and thinks Snoop Dogg is a cartoon character).

And as they leave, Natalie says she had a nice time, and gives Jamie a wee peck.

They arrange to meet again AND Jamie is savvy enough to want it to be just him and Natalie. No mates. No Steve. No harassment.

Maybe Kathy was right. Maybe a corner has been turned.

I still think the worm has to turn (Jamie has to tell Steve where to go), but it’s a start.


Jacqueline is another Chas victim

So Chas doesn’t just go for ‘lower class’ types.

Some lass called Jacqueline is also being harassed by him for payments – but she’s a student.

I suppose that Chas doesn’t distinguish between who he rips off is slightly something in his favour.


The day after the barbeque

(I still can’t get used to Ambridge Extra flipping back and forth in time!)

Fallon’s efforts seemed, at first, to have backfired.

As no-one could get near Kirsty to say hello (Fallon was chasing them all away), Rhys thinks Kirsty is “Jenny no mates”.

But – he does say that he is interested in Kirsty, and might pop to Jaxx for a drink when she’s working.

But, it’s not going to be that easy, or normal, for Rhys.

Fallon gets that gleam in her eye again, when Kirsty comes into The Bull, and starts being a sledgehammer again.

[Fallon] “Go on. Say to me what you said about Rhys”

[Kirsty – after some persuasion – and sounding very embarrassed] “I said you were really nice”

Fallon then badgers’ Rhys to do the same.

[Rhys] “I said you were a lovely girl”

[Fallon] “So … one of you’s got to make the first move. It’s no good telling me how you feel and doing nothing about it?”

Kirsty and Rhys are a bit stunned at what Fallon’s doing. Especially when she basically asks Kirsty out for Rhys (and vice versa), then pushes them onto a time and place.

I really don’t get it.

Either Fallon has flipped, or she really (really) needs to get out more.


Mr Big

Which is what Chas thinks he is – and who he also calls to sort out his financial dealings.

So it seems Chas is being bankrolled by someone called Victor, in London.

[Victor] “Let’s face it, if they were capable of running their lives, they wouldn’t need your specialist services, would they?”

Chas needs some time to pay his bit back, as the “pond life” are not behaving. He also asks if he can do a special deal. He has a personal transaction to arrange …


Ah – there’s the interest

Alice still isn’t sure about Chas’ offer.

[Alice] “It just seems like such a big favour”

So – to make it easier for Alice to decide, Chas now offers to charge interest. 2 and a half % over 3 years. As much as he reckons he’d make on an ISA,

Oh dear. Alice wants it to be more of a formal arrangement so that she feels like she’s not taking advantage – which has given Chas the perfect in-road to ripping them off.

This isn’t going to go well, but Chas is simply going to be no match for Chris. Or Brian. Or, the most scary of all, Jennifer.

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