The new Brookfield – where cows don’t get a 2nd chance 18.03.12

The Archers Monday 18th March 2012

• Does Ruth not realise she’s a hypocrite?
• The Smallest Cheeseshop chain
• Bridge Farm’s Interest
• Emma let go without a care
• Youth cricket ahoy
• Ruth was using a pan!

Does Ruth not realise she’s a hypocrite?

Josh is working in the dairy with Ruth – before he has to go to school. And he has breakfast.

He’s showing ever more commitment (watch out Pip …).

Josh has been trying to work out what the new Brookfield system means. He’s a bit confused at what David was saying after David and Ruth had been to visit a farm already using that system.

[Josh] “He said the farmers get rid of the cows if they don’t get in calf the first time round”

[Ruth] “Well he’s working on the same milk contract he’s always had, so he needs to drive his costs down. AI is expensive, and so is keeping a dairy cow if she’s not in calf”

[Josh] “so it’s all about costs?”

[Ruth] “Well, it’s more positive than that, He’s breeding health and fertility into the herd”

[Josh] “So that means they’re more valuable? … and he’ll have more pregnant cattle than he needs every year so he can sell some?”

[Ruth] “Like we do now”

[Josh] “At better prices, because of the way he managed the herd … and that’s what we’ll be doing?”

[Ruth] “It’s what we do anyway mostly. We’ll have to be more systematic about it. No second chances and drive down the costs, that’s the plan”

Huh. Ruth sounds like Brian.

Think she can hear herself? She’ll not have a leg to stand on (or a happy cow to call as witness) when she ploughs back into protesting against the Super Dairy. Her new system is hardly a softly-softly approach to the cows.

Also sounds like Josh was worried about all of the recent debates and worry over Brookfield – especially as he’s noticed his parents arguing.

Ruth tells him everything (everything!) will be just fine …


The Smallest Cheeseshop chain

Sounds great!

Acting on Tom’s suggestion to go and see a cheese buyer while also going to see Sharon, Helen’s got an appointment with Bee Hardwick of The Smallest Cheeseshop chain.


Bridge Farm’s Interest

Pat and Tony’s interest only mortgage agreement is up soon (blimey – has that been 6 months already?). So, they need to decide if they go to repayment, or negotiate another period of interest only.

With Tony very much consigned to the sofa, Pat turns to Tom to help her make a decision.
They go through the figures, with Tom reckoning that the figures look good enough to go back onto repayment. Pat doesn’t seem convinced. And she also doesn’t want to do anything with Tony.

[Pat] “I don’t want him to feel we’re marginalising him”

But how to talk to Tony without stressing him?

More importantly, if Tony disagrees with Tom’s deductions, surely another father V son? With father coming off the worst.



Emma let go without a care

Laura at Lower Loxley (who she?) was absolutely fine about Emma handing her notice in. In fact, Laura didn’t even want Emma to work out her notice.

Emma didn’t seem to notice that Lower Loxley let her go without a thought.

That girl is either thick skinned, thick or just couldn’t care.



Youth cricket ahoy

From what David was saying, sounds like Jamie’s idea for youth cricket is a goer.

They now just need to find:

[David] “Someone willing to turn up week after week for the sheer love of the game”

Ruth was using a pan!

Be scared …

And can pizza be cooked in a pan?

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Only Emma gets a Mother’s Day 18.03.12

(or so it would seem from the hidden secret microphones)


The Archers Sunday 18th March 2012

• Helen has to go AWOL
• Mothering Sunday
• Emma wants to quit
• Tom’s KISS method

Helen has to go AWOL

Kylie calls Helen to tell her that she’s spoken to Sharon.

[Kylie] “She said yes to meeting up with you”

Though Kylie had to work hard to get Sharon to agree, it would seem Sharon also wants some sort of resolution (closure, one would suppose).

[Kylie] “Mum said she’ll meet up with you, that’s all, so please don’t expect too much”

Helen later tells a delighted Tom.

[Helen] “Sharon’s agreed to meet, so she must have soften towards us … she wouldn’t let me drive all the way to Leeds just to shut the door in my face”

(hmm. Wouldn’t be so sure about that!)

Helen and Tom will also have to keep Helen’s trip secret from Tony and Pat, so that they don’t raise their hopes.

But, keeping a 5 hour round trip secret is going to be a bit tough.


Mothering Sunday

We only heard Emma’s mother’s day – either the secret hidden microphones were turned off everywhere else, or no-one else apart from Ed and his brood appreciate their mums.

Emma’s day went: woken up by kids and Ed (late, at 11am), card, flowers (freesias), breakfast in bed, bubble bath, a walk, then tea in a café.

[Ed] “I might not be able to buy you expensive presents, but I wanted you to know how much we appreciate you. I love you”

Aw. That’s sweet of Ed.


Emma wants to quit

As Keira is filling her bucket (with sand), Emma’s already looking depressed.

(she really knows how to show gratitude for Ed and the kids’ efforts)

She has an announcement.

[Emma] “I had a good think this morning … but I don’t know what you’re going to say … what would you say if I packed in my job at Lower Loxley?”

She claims it’s all about not being able to sort out childcare.

[Emma] “I just feel more and more stressed about it all … you think we can’t manage without that money?”

[Ed] “We’ll just have to see what we can cut back on. I’d rather do without than having you lying awake at night stressing”

Ed is worried about losing the money, but also about Emma not getting out of the house, away from the kids.

[Emma] “Wellies and worms, we can go to … outside play and it only costs a pound”

(not sure why Emma started talking like Yoda)

Ed did actually mean for Emma to also get adult company.

[Emma] “I feel like I wanna enjoy the kids while they’re still little”

Fair enough. Just so long as Emma does also accept that less work does indeed mean less income, so less to spend.

Princess Emma skint and happy about it?

I can’t see it.


Tom’s KISS method

Helen can’t work out how to go and see Sharon without having to tell Pat and Tony.

She reckons she can’t get Kirsty to cover for her (no – Kirsty would have to be told why), she can’t say she’s taking Henry out for the day (too long a journey for Henry), and she can’t say she’s going to see her plan Anne Baxter (from College) – Helen reckons she won’t be good enough at remembering her lies.

[Helen] “Belt and braces Tom. I’m not taking any chances”

[Tom] “With lies it's best to stick to the KISS method … keep it simple stupid … I’ve had my hairy moments!”

Then Tom has a moment of brilliant. What a rarity …

He suggests Helen books an appointment with one of the cheese buyers they met at the launch, who just happens to be close to where Sharon lives (Derby?).

[Helen] “Tom, you’re a genius!”

Well, it could be said that Tom’s ideal was a tad obvious, but as long as Helen is happy …

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Jim makes a play for Christine 16.03.12

(or so it seems)


The Archers Friday 16th March 2012

• Now Tom’s harassing Helen
• It’s all Greek to Helen
• Hilary Noakes’ cockatoo is feeling better
• More farmers sign up for the badger vaccination
• Jim worries Christine
• Kylie says yes

Now Tom’s harassing Helen

About phoning Kylie. Which she has done, but Kylie has called back as yet.

Does that boy never learn?

Leave folks be to do their best, in their own time.

Or, do it yourself.


It’s all Greek to Helen

Kylie does call Helen back. She’s been busy getting an essay in on time. One on Greek Tragedy.

[Helen] “Gosh, that sounds pretty hard!”

Helen really does need to get out more. She’s staring to sound like a bit of a dim, as well as a dull, young lady.


Hilary Noakes’ cockatoo is feeling better.

So Jill announces.

[Jill] “I’m glad Benson is getting better … he seems to bring out her softer side”

[Christine] “You mean she’s got one?”

More farmers sign up for the badger vaccination

Seems Oliver is managing to persuade more farmers to sign up.

Good man.


Jim worries Christine

[Jim] “Hmm, what a lovely scent … it’s you Christine. It must be your perfume”

Jill concurs that Christine is wearing nice perfume. But Jim takes it further.

[Jim] “Indeed it is. Most alluring”

Over coffee and cakes, Christine is too distracted to hear Jill talking about how glad she is that Brookfield is keeping its cows.

[Christine] “It’s Jim, I’m afraid … what he said … to me … he’s complimented me before, of course, on my cooking. He’s always praised my scones …

"the problem is what he said earlier wasn’t about my cooking, was it, it was about me … Jim’s never complimented me about anything like that before …

"never on anything personal or anything that you might call womanly about me … but today saying my perfume was alluring!”

[Jill, getting excited at the prospect of a romance] “Ooh Chris!”

[Christine] “No no. It’s not good Jill. I like Jim a lot of course I do. We get on well, we’re great friends. That’s as far as it goes for me. What if he’s started getting other ideas”

Ah well done Alan! You may have got Jim to do something for lent, but it could cost Jim one of his most precious friendships.

(I know – we all know they’ll sort it out)


Kylie says yes

During their phone call, Helen tells Kylie about Tony’s heart attack. Kylie shocked and worried to hear about it.

(she is a nice lass)

[Helen] “I’ll be totally honest. What he’s been thinking about is Rich … now what’s praying on dad’s mind is he has a grandson who doesn’t even know he exists … I’m sorry to load this onto you …”

She tells Kylie that she wants to arrange for Rich to get to know his grandparents properly. Kylie is at first worried that Helen wants her to tell Rich, but Helen is merely after a face-to-face with Sharon. Which will take Kylie to help arrange.

Later to Tom:

[Helen] “She said something I hadn’t even though of. About Ivy … she only realised how sad that made her feel at Ivy’s funeral”

[Tom] “Well that’s a shame. But helpful to use, I suppose”

Indeed.

Kylie’s agreed to talk to Sharon to at least meet with Helen.

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Did Eddie slip, or was he pushed? 15.03.12

The Archers Thursday 15th March 2012

• Eddie and Ben’s birthday
• Josh and Phoebe?
• Was Eddie pushed?
• No booze for Eddie
• Brian buys off Eddie
• Celebration at Brookfield

Eddie and Ben’s birthday

Eddie gets bourdon from Clarrie, ben nearly manages to be late for school (Ben was on a computer game, Josh was on Facebook).

[David] “This is the problem with a birthday on a school day”

[Ben] “Before you start, it wasn’t my fault”

Course it wasn’t! It was Ruth and David’s!



Josh and Phoebe?

Seems it was Phoebe that Josh was messaging on Facebook.

A blossoming young attraction?

Ruth and David in-laws with Kate … that’d be interesting (much in the future).


Was Eddie pushed?

Despite Clarrie’s prediction that’d the protest at the Mart was losing steam, over 50 of them turned up today.

[Brian] “It’s all part of the plan to lull us into a false sense of security”

Eddie’s on crowd control (trying to make sure the farmers can get in with their stock), though they don’t seem to have very good security. Some of the protestors had earlier got into the Mart, and spooked the cattle with their banners.

(no need for that!)

Between the protestors shouting COWS EAT GRASS and FREE THE AMBRIDGE COW, and booing when they saw Brian, Eddie wads wading in to try and keep the road into the Mart clear.

Then. Disaster.

[Kirsty] “LOOK OUT!”

Eddie’s on the ground, and looks to have taken a nasty bump to the head.

Kirsty takes care of him while David (who’d popped by the Mart) calls an ambulance, and Brian lends his coat for Eddie to lay his head on.

[Kirsty] “He just went down. It was went that farmer’s truck pulled out …”

[Brian] “The one your cohorts stopped!”

But – no one say how Eddie came to bump his head.

Later on, the good news is that Eddie didn’t have a fracture.

[Josh] “Whatever, he’s going to look like he’s been in a fight tomorrow”

The Police are also involved. Was Eddie pushed? Did one of the farmer’s vehicles clip him?


No booze for Eddie

Despite having had to go to hospital, Eddie was back out that night with Clarrie at The Bull.

[Clarrie] “Yeah, apart from looking like you’re run into a wall”

[Eddie] “Eh, but it’s me birthday!”

But, Eddie’s horrified to be told by Clarrie that he cannot drink. Even if Mike and Neil are going to pop in, and even if he already has a few pints behind the bar.

[Eddie] “Some bloomin’ birthday this is!”

Brian buys off Eddie

Cheeky.

Brian pops into The Bull to check Eddie is okay.

[Brian] “You're absolutely sure … you weren’t pushed by one of the demonstrators?”

Eddie reckons not. And that he also wasn’t clipped by a vehicle. He’s sure he just slipped.

[Eddie] “And I won’t be going to none of them personal injury lawyers, don’t you worry”

Brian sounds relieved about that. he also drags out (what sounded like) a fair few notes for Eddie. Money for the taxi back to the Mart to get his van. And a few more for another night out with Clarrie.

Eddie gratefully takes it.

Brian should be ashamed of himself. All he’s thinking about is yet worse PR.


Celebration at Brookfield

Ben’s birthday (he’s 10 today) is a bit overshadowed by the cows.

During Ben’s birthday tea, the first toast is from Josh to the cows (as they’re definitely staying at Brookfield).

The next is from Pip to the sheep (who also stay to keep money coming in while they change their dairy system).

The third is from Ben to Tigg (aw!)

But the fourth is from Ruth to Ben.

[David] “To Ben and to Brookfield!”

Well, at least Ben doesn’t mind where he sits in his family order of priorities.

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Tom wants Rich in the family 14.02.12

The Archers Wednesday 14th March 2012

• Jamie and Natalie are back
• Youth Cricket
• Joe’s a cheeky gossip
• Helen’s sacking Brian
• Tony is brooding
• Amy has a boyfriend
• Tom does a u-turn

Jamie and Natalie are back

Still together, and shopping for tops for Natalie.

Credit to Jamie – he is very patient while she chooses between plain or stripy.


Youth Cricket

Jamie’s telling Natalie that Alistair has asked him again to play cricket for Ambridge.

[Jamie] “Do I really want to spent all my evening and weekends in the summer with a ,load of old blokes, when I could be with you?”

Natalie points out that he does like cricket, and that Sid would have been proud of him to do so.

(Natalie seems like a good ‘un again!)

Later, Jamie has a plan. He’s going to see if Ambridge can put on youth nights, so that the younger chaps can practice together away from the auld yins.

He’s especially thinking of his mate Marty.

Seems Marty is depressed. He’s having to repeat a year at school, and hasn’t made any pals.

[Natalie] “This all Steve’s fault. If Marty hadn’t looked up to that stupid dork in the first place!”

Joe’s a cheeky gossip

But hasn’t agreed to give it up for lent.

He told Chris about Jim and Vicky

[Chris] “Mike said he’d been ogling Vicky … and that he said she was fat”

Naughty Joe! That fall out should have finished when Joe made Jim and Mike shake.


Helen’s sacking Brian

Well, more ‘laying off’ than sacking. She reckons Pat will have more time next week to help her with the veg boxes, so Brian is surplus to requirements.



Tony is brooding

Having more time to sit and think, Tony tells Tom what he’s been pondering:

[Tony] “I sit here Tom, and I wonder what he’s doing, Rich. What’s he up to? … I knew I had to make it happen, and when we saw him in Leeds, John’s grin, John’s eyes, just that look about it … all she wanted, all I wanted to do, was hug him. Hug him tight and say I’m your granddad … I knew I had to be strong for her, to get her through it … I had to keep going, keep mum going … and now that’s it. We’ve had it. Had our contact. We might never see him again”

Amy has a boyfriend

Which knackers Alice’s (very odd) plan to match her up with a male model.

Seems Amy is seeing someone called Karl, who is a few years older, works in Felpersham and she doesn’t want to introduce him to anyone else as yet.

[Alice] “She doesn’t want to tempt fate …”

Or interfering mates like Alice!


Tom does a u-turn

After speaking to Tony, Tom sits down with Helen:

[Tom] “He suddenly, out of nowhere, started talking about Rich”

[Helen] “Where did that come from?”

(Tom just said. Nowhere)

The penny has finally dropped for Tom. He now understands that after Tony had seen Rich, he so desperately wanted to tell Rich that he and Pat are his grandparents. But, part of Tony’s stress after was trying to stay strong and realistic for Pat.

[Helen] “Mum does realise he did that for her”

[Tom] “It made me wonder. If, maybe, we could do something about it”

So he wants Helen to talk to Kylie. Helen made friends with her when she was last down (though that’s a poor excuse for not doing it himself, I reckon)

[Tom] “I think what dad wasn’t saying is that … he could have died Helen, and he’d have never got to know Rich and Rich would have never known who he was … so, will you give her a call, kylie … explain what’s happened to dad and ask Kylie to try and make Sharon to see how important it is”

[Helen] “Suppose it’s worth a try”

[Tom] “Helen, we’re lucky to still have dad, I think it’s worth doing. For him”

Odds-on for Rich being at the Bridge Farm Christmas 2012 table.

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The cows shall stay at Brookfield! 13.03.12

The Archers Tuesday 13th March 2012

• Tom realising Farming isn’t just pigs playing footy?
• Why does Pip get paid?
• David’s perturbed it’s a young woman
• Mike thinks Jim’s playing for his woman
• The end of the beginning for Brookfield

Tom realising Farming isn’t just pigs playing footy?

The word on the fields is that Tom’s realising how much work it is to keep Bridge Farm bumbling along. The admin is especially getting to him.

He hasn’t had a clue the sheer volume of work Tony had to do.

[Ruth] “Well you don’t until you actually run a farm yourself”

Why does Pip get paid?

Tom’s insisted on paying Pip.

Why not David and Brian?

Bit unfair, I reckon.


David’s perturbed it’s a young woman

David and Ruth are waiting for their block calving consultant to arrive at Brookfield.

[Ruth] “It looks like a woman driving, not a bloke”

[David] “She’s probably lost”

Ruth started it, but David dug himself a whole. When she pulled him up on assuming that the woman couldn’t be the consultant (she’d assumed that the consultant wouldn’t be a woman because they were expecting someone called Rob), he started waffling on about women especially getting lost because of Sat Navs.

Turns out the woman is the Consultant. Rob couldn’t make it.

[Lisa] “And I’ll put my wellies on … tee hee Lisa Bradshaw”

(the ‘tee hee’ bit is because she was a bit giggly)

[David] “Ruth, do you think she’s going to be okay … she’s not my idea of a consultant. How old do you think she is?”

Hmm. He also meant that it’s not really a job for a woman …


Mike thinks Jim’s playing for his woman

[Mike] “I got a bone to pick with you … what do you mean by offending my wife? … how long you been eyeing her up?”

[Jim] “Vicky?!? I’m sorry Mike, but I have no idea what you mean”

[Mike] “Oh pull the other one. You must have been ogling her for months, just biding your time for the right moment you could make your sleazy remarks which, by the way, she ain't happy about and in case you hadn’t gathered, neither am I!”

As they’re at the Community Orchard, with Joe, all you can here for a bit is Jim trying to waffle on normally, with Mike angrily digging in the background (honestly, you could hear it was angry digging!).

But Jim can’t taker Mike’s sulk.

[Jim] “For the hundredth time, when I said that Vicky was looking very slim, I meant it as a compliment. Pure and simple.”

[Mike] “Oh did you/”

[Jim] “Yes, and hand on heart I promise you mike, I had not been eyeing her up over the preceding months … and by complimenting her on her appearance yesterday, I most certainly did not mean to imply nor ever would that she previously had been fat, overweight, stout, plump or even chubby …”

[Mike] “Chubby!”

[Jim] “I like and respect Vicky, and I’m very sorry if I've offended her”

[Mike] “Well you have, Insulted her even … she’s very upset …”

[Joe] “Come on Mike, the prof here would never insult a lady”

[Jim] “My remark was well intentioned and meant as a genuine compliment”

As Jim points out, even Susan has agreed that Jim wasn’t trying to have his wicked way with Vicky. Mike’s still not convinced.

[Mike] “I suppose I got no option but to take your word for it Jim”

And Joe makes them shake on it.

[Mike] “But I got to say this Jim, but for an educated bloke, you want to be a bit more careful with what you say, and weight your words better …”

Jim agrees. After Mike has left:

[Jim] “I have to say that in view of the supposed insult, the idea of weighting my words is perhaps not the best phrase he could have chosen, but I wasn’t going to say that to him!”

So an “innocent compliment” gone bad.

Surely more of this to come …


The end of the beginning for Brookfield

Lisa explains to David and Ruth that there’s a glut of milk late Spring and Summer – so their plan will mean milk ‘off season’. Potentially at a higher premium, I suppose.

They’ll need to expand their milking parlour and winter housing when they also expand their herd.

And Lisa says that their sheep can stay – they’ll be essential to income while their new milking system gets up and running, as will be their beef herd

(so they can please Pip and Josh at the same time)

All in all it’s good news.

[Lisa] “Workable and practical way forward”

And she’ll even do their cashflow for them.

[David] “How ol … hot about some coffee”

(he’s still obsessed!)

Once Lisa has left:

[David] “Okay, well I take back all I said, or managed not to say”

[Ruth] “That she was some dizzy girl straight out of college!”

Though she seemed a bit dizzy, Lisa is more than qualified to help Brookfield. Ruth and David reckons she is exactly what Pip will be like in a few years.

[Ruth] “Lovely and confident with it”

So it’s all systems go. And they need to look at reseeding again. This time cocksfoot, red and white clover, burnet, chicory, timothy and fescue.

[David] “What a relief “

[Ruth] “This isn’t the end David, you know we’ve got a long way to go”

[David] “Maybe this it’s the end of the beginning”

So all’s well.

BUT

Where’s the £20,000 coming from for the slurry tank?

And, forgive me, but isn’t Brookfield now going to be having more cows in their shed for longer?

Ruth = not a leg to stand on regarding the Super Dairy?

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Jim spooks Vicky 12.03.12

The Archers Monday 12th March 2012

• Tracey has four kids
• Helen never made mention of nappies
• Pat’s a crusader without even trying
• Keira’s bored of being a baby
• Jim’s threesome
• Is that Brian under the tractor?
• Emma appreciates the Doll House
• Hilary Noakes’ cockatoo is ill
• Jim has spooked Vicky

Tracey has four kids

Counting her dad and Gary.

Though Emma was looking to her for some (probably free) babysitting, Tracey reckons she already has her hands full.

Emma is also furious to learn that Tracey also has the cheek to want to find a job – and had the nerve to see if Emma could babysit for her when she not at Lower Loxley in the afternoons.

Horrendous! How dare the world not revolve around Emma! Very surprised she’s still speaking to Clarrie after Clarrie went back to her job at Bridge Farm.

Anyhoo – point is that Emma can’t get proper babysitting sorted.

How long before she’s forced to ask Nic?



Helen never made mention of nappies

So Brian was fibbing when he said he volunteered Jennifer to do the veg box recipes because of Helen:

[Brian] “I’m sorry I dropped you in it but I had to stop Helen talking about Henry and his nappies somehow”

Pat’s a crusader without even trying

Brian’s bemoaning the fact that Pat’s petition against the Super Dairy is getting more and more signatures, when Pat obviously hasn’t been focusing on her campaign while Tony is ill.

[Brian] “Here’s me packing their veg boxes, meanwhile her campaign is taking on a life of its own and is threating to stiff my business. It’s a funny old world”

He’s not as calm when it comes to the protestors at the Mart. They’re “loonies” who don’t understand anything.



Keira’s bored of being a baby

So says Susan. Keira’s started walking, which had made Keira very happy.

[Susan] “Bored of being a baby. She’s very bright, you see”

Jim’s threesome

Jim comes into the shop while Vicky and Susan are chatting.

[Jim] “What a bevy of beauty! You're both looking particularly delightful today, if I may say so … is that a new jumper Susan?”

It’s not, but Vicky’s is.

Jim then compliments (ah ha!) Vicky on the colours of said top being delightful, and that she’s looking “trim and slimmer”.

*sigh*

Jim’s not very good at this. He’s coming over as a bit of a perv AND you never (ever) mention a woman’s weight.

Whether it be a compliment or not.


Is that Brian under the tractor?

Yes it was.

Which gave Jennifer a fright. Surely that’s something Jeff could do (so she says).

He’s just trying to get his mind off of the folks who are against the Super Dairy.

Seems Lord Donald Eldberry has “fallen” for the anti-brigade, and has written to Brian as a result.

[Brian] “I’ve got councillors on the phone wittering about objections their constituents have raised, not to mention pen pushers in the planning department!

[Jennifer] “Calm down. I can practically see your blood pressure rising”

Jennifer admits that she’s worried Brian is going to do a Tony and collapse with a heart attack.

[Brian] “Oh, is this why we’ve been having all that weird food … mackerel and lentils … oh darling, you won’t get rid of me that easily. But any more lentils, you just might!”

Emma appreciates the Doll House

[Emma] “It's going to be gorgeous dad!”

Blimey!

That’s not like Emma to be thankful for the effort someone else has gone to for her (well, Keira).

A slight thaw?


Hilary Noakes’ cockatoo is ill

Aw – that’s a shame.

(and I do mean that!).

Susan warns Emma to make sure George doesn’t ask Hilary about her cockatoo as a result. Seems George is fascinated about it, but Hilary can’t cope talking about it (him?) at the moment.

It’s been losing weight and feathers, and has had swabs taken.

[Susan] “Don’t let George say anything, it’ll only burst her into tears!”

Neil warns Susan that she’s verging on gossip (which she had given up for lent).

[Susan] “That was not gossip. That was a point of information to Emma … helpful not harmful!”

Jim has spooked Vicky

Vicky’s round visiting Susan and Neil. She’s a bit perplexed.

[Vicky] “It’s what Jim said in the shop … what he said to me about looking very trim … what did he mean ... well is he saying I've lost weight? Cause if so, how am I supposed to take it? Is he saying I was fat before .… that I looked fat then … what do you think Neil?”

[Neil] “Me?!?”

[Vicky] “Well you’re a man. If you tell someone she’s looking very trim are you saying she’s lost weight ?”

[Neil] “Erm, I don’t think I’ve ever said that to anyone, so I’m sorry Vicky I can’t be of much help”

[Susan, saving Neil] “I just thought it was a compliment … he said all that about me and my jumper, then he moved onto you. I’m sure it was a compliment”

[Vicky] “So why didn’t he just stick to saying my new top suited me or something. Nah, I’m sorry Susan. I’m not convinced”

Oh dear.

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Alice has gone a bit Fallon 11.03.12

The Archers Sunday 11th March 2012

• 3 words for Tom
• Helen makes a joke
• Why can’t Helen move pig arks?
• Jazzer has a new lassie in sight
• Alice’s iron is knackered
• Has Jennifer changed her tune about Christopher?
• Tony’s too quiet
• Charity fashion show for ‘Africa’
• Why does Alice want Amy to have a boyfriend?

3 words for Tom

[Helen] “tea and toast”

Well.

Seems to make Tom happy enough.

(though hearing him munch it wasn’t very pretty)


Helen makes a joke

Helen and Tom are talking about creating more poly tunnels to be able to grow and sell more produce.

Helen reckons the packaging has to be spot on. Local produce. Organic. And British.

[Helen] “It’s really important to flag that up, literally … union jacks on every crate”

She did chuckle when she said it, so Helen isn’t completely clueless.

Tom also mentioned something about talking to a bloke about a business loan.

Eh?

When was that decided?

Does Bridge Farm need more debt?

Tony won’t be very calm when he hears about that.


Why can’t Helen move pig arks?

Tom’s feeling overworked, so Helen offers to help.

[Tom] “Come on, I’m not going to get you moving pig arks, am I?”

Why not?

Helen has always struck me as a fairly robust and healthy young filly.


Jazzer has a new lassie in sight

Poor lassie.

Seems he’s more than happy to take on extra work from Tom.

[Tom] “He was quite keen to do more hours. He’s got some new woman to impress”

[Helen] “Good old Jazzer. Always the right priorities”

Poor Helen. She really doesn’t get that there’s more to life than Bridge Farm …


Alice’s iron is knackered

[Alice] “It just went out as soon as I switched it on”

Has Jennifer changed her tune about Christopher?

She actually sounds fairly impressed that Alice and Chris have managed to save, and Chris is now about to have his own business.

Hard work outweighs a lack of blue blood (which neither Jennifer nor Brian have anyhoo).


Tony’s too quiet

Tony’s made it out of the yard. He wants some proper air (which you seemingly can’t get in the yard), but he’s chased just as quickly back home again in case he is over doing it and gets a chill.

(poor Tony. He isn't ancient as yet)

Pat’s feeling quite philosophical.

[Pat] “It brings it home to you, doesn’t it? What loving someone really is”

Later on, Tony’s not hungry enough to finish his pudding. He feels like he’s not doing enough to build up a hunger. He takes himself off to watch the rugby, with pat promising to take his a cup of tea during half time.

Pat’s guilt resurrects itself.

[Pat] “All that time, from the minute I found out about Rich, I was nothing but selfish”

Helen thinks Pat’s guilt over Rich comes from the overreaction she (Helen) and Tom had.

Pat does not concur.

[Pat] “Never gave dad’s feelings a moment’s thought … He was trying to protect me. He was worried about my health … I didn’t allow him to vent”

But Helen (and the doctor) reckon it was high cholesterol and the like that caused Tony’s heart attack.

[Helen] “You might as well say that I’m to blame … these things build up don’t they … if you’re looking for stress factors, then it’s got to be the e.coli”

[Pat] “I’ll never take him for granted again Helen … I know I have in the past just because he’s quieter than I am”

[Helen] “He’s quieter than all of us”

[Pat] “It his quietness that … he gives me,. All of us, so much support. Just knowing he’s there. He’s been too easy to ignore Helen. I’m not going to do that anymore. I’m going to listen to him. What he wants”

[Helen] “I know mum. We all will”

Phew!

At last, they’re actually going to listen to Tony. The trick is to make sure Tom also follows suit.



Charity fashion show for ‘Africa’

How very 1980s, and oddly quite politically incorrect for Alice.

Why does Alice want Amy to have a boyfriend?

It’s just as odd as Fallon being desperate to make Kirsty and Rhys get together.

[Alice] “I’m going to introduce her to one of the more lush models … Joel”

[Jennifer] “That’s up to Amy. Actually, does she want a boyfriend?”

[Alice] “Of course she does. She’s not going to meet many men doing her job is she, well not available ones anyway”

[Jennifer] “She’s always struck me as a very independent young woman, just because being in a couple suits you and Christopher darling, you can’t assume that everyone wants to be paired off at your age …Dear me Alice, you sound like my granny!”

[Alice] “You’ll be sorry you doubted me when you’re buying your new hat”

How odd.

Why would Alice be scoring any points by getting Amy a boyfriend?

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Ambridge Organics/Tom Archer’s launch part deux 09.03.12

The Archers Friday 9th March 2012

• The cheese is loaded and ready to go
• Jim sucks up to Shula
• The launch is a success
• Lily was bell ringing again
• Seeds for Britain in Bloom
• The difference between flattery and a compliment
• Anyone else thought Tony had done a Phil?

The cheese is loaded and ready to go

Steady on Helen!

Tom’s already at the café, Helen and Pat are more or less ready to go (dropping Henry off at Nic’s on the way), so they’re just waiting on Tony.

But Tony appears in his dressing gown.

[Tony] “I didn’t have such a good night. Didn’t sleep too well … I feel fine otherwise, just a bit washed out. So maybe you were right. I’d be better to stay at home and have a quiet day”

Jim sucks up to Shula

He didn’t seem to have a purpose in going round to see Shula, as she was getting ready to head out with Topper. Who is being a bit frisky today (Topper, not Jim. Well, maybe Jim as well, but he didn’t mention it).

[Shula] “He’s young. Full of the joys”

[Jim] “He seems to know who is boss!”

They chat about Shula making the decision to buy Topper, despite Alistair’s protests.

[Jim] “Alistair should have known better than to argue … after all, you ... you … when it comes to horses, you know what’s best … I’m sure your judgement is second to none”

Shula was a bit spooked …


The launch is a success

It sounds packed, with people travelling from all over. There is even “cheese people” from Derbyshire,

[Pat] “They’re all being so positive, Saying such nice things”

[Tom] “That chef from that Birmingham caterers said my pork stir fry was, quote, delicious”

[Helen] “High fives all round then!”

Lily was bell ringing again

Yesterday. Seems she really likes it.



Seeds for Britain in Bloom

Alan’s been buying them in, so he tells Shula.

(again – did I miss the big reconciliation between Alan and Shula?)

Lynda has also printed off a leaflet called The Art of seed Propagation to help when planting.

[Shula] “Is there an art to using a propagator?”

[Alan] “And she’s been trying to bulk buy scarlet geraniums”

Complete hedonism!


The difference between flattery and a compliment

Shula happened to mention to Alan that Jim had paid her a compliment.

Aha! Compliment! That’s what Jim was up to.

[Jim] “Alan, when I make a resolution, I kept it … as from today, Shula is my first success … that’s one satisfied customer”

[Alan] “Little surprised, maybe”

[Jim] “Well, Shula and I, well, you know, it’s not always easy being a father in law … still once I decided, there was no messing about. Straight in at the deep end. Though I have to say it was quite a tricky one to hit the rights notes you know, I had to out in some careful thought”

[Alan] “And I assume when you said it you meant it …”

[Jim] “Alan! Of course I meant it. If I’d been at all insincere it would have been flattery, not a compliment!”

Seems Jim’s plan is to give compliments as and when the chance arises. “Discreet opportunism” he calls it.

But Jim will be keeping a strict record, including who, where, when, what and a witness.

That’s a bit over the top.



Anyone else thought Tony had done a Phil?

I think that’s what the folks who place the secret microphones wanted us to think.

Tony’s left home alone.

Pat got a missed call from David, who’d been helping out at Home Farm. Pat, Tom and Helen are a bit worried.

Turns out David was just calling to say everything was fine.

[Helen] “I wish he’d just texted you!”

When they later get home, they can hear the TV is on.

Uh oh … just like Phil being left alone, for Jill to get back with Christine to the sound of a record and Phil very much departed …

But not to worry.

We could hear Tony breathing. He was just having a nap.

Cheeky secret microphone placing people.

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Brookfield is keeping its Dairy Herd 08.03.12

The Archers Thursday 8th March 2012

• Even Tig doesn’t like Emma
• Joe the babysitter
• Ruth has the answer
• Less protestors but more media coverage
• Jennifer’s a doormat (prt 6799921)
• An Exeat
• Emma finally speaks out against Greenwood Cottage

Even Tigg doesn’t like Emma

He’s been running in mud, then has run through the house causing more work for Emma.

Good boy!


Joe the babysitter

Terrifying …

Eddie’s still picking up Clarrie’s babysitting duties for Emma, with Ed returning early from work to take over.

But, all goes wrong with Ed arriving home late today.

Emma had got home first. To find no Eddie or Keira at theirs. To then find George and Keira at Keepers with Joe.

[Emma] “Poor man. He was exhausted. Well it’s not good enough Ed”

Emma is also furious with Eddie with going off and leaving Joe in charge.

Ed later comes back with eh answer. Oliver will switch his days so that Ed can sync with Emma, to be there when she can’t.

Sorted. Thrilling stuff indeed.

(though I do love to hear Emma ranting … she’s just always wrong!)


Ruth has the answer

There’s a first!

She reckons she has worked out how to make the milk pay.

David explains to her (and us) what she’s proposing (!):

[David] “We don’t go for the full New Zealand system … we give up our year round calving and switch to block calving in the autumn”

[Ruth] “The cows would be dried off in August with most of them calving September through to December … so our milk production would dip over the summer … but then it peaks again just at the right times, in the Autumn and then again the Spring, so we make the most of our grass”

The big BUT is the very low milk yield in summer AND the cows would be inside, and off the grass, for longer.

Ruth reckons that’s good, as it’ll give their pastures longer to recover and make more grass (my words).

[Ruth] “We make the most of the grass and we get the best of the yields …”

Where have we heard that before … cows kept inside, higher milk yield!?!

David isn’t convinced. He’s still worried about having to buy a slurry tank. But he does agree it’s worth considering.

[Ruth] “Is that all?”

[David] “Well it’s quite a leap of faith … there are a lot of ifs and buts in my head”

So off he goes to have a look at the figures for himself.

Later on:

[David] “I didn’t mean to be so negative … needed time to let it sink in … you’re right, there could be something in it … I really do think you’re onto something with Autumn calving … I reckon there’s a chance we could make it work … one that’s worth going for … so, yeah, I think we should do it, if it means we can stay in milk and keep the herd”

[Ruth] “We can carry on milking and we won’t have to sell the cows. That’s so great … this has got to be the answer, I know it … We’ll be so organised, we’ll get everything right from the start, I know we can do it David, I know we can make it work”

The cows get to stay!

But Ruth loses the moral high ground about the Super Dairy.


Less protestors but more media coverage

Brian called Jennifer to report that the protest at the Mart is on today, but it’s not up to much. It’s raining.

[Brian] “It was nothing like the other day. In fact it was a bit of a damp squib altogether … 10 or a dozen people … it looks as if the revolution has been cancelled due to bad weather”

But Jennifer is the bearer of bad news. Brian hasn’t seen today’s Echo as yet.

There’s a picture of Kirsty and Brian. On page 2. And it’s a decent sized article.

[Brian] “The whole article makes the protestors like noble heroes, BL a bunch of evil cow haters or something”

To make matters worse, BL paid for an advert in the same issue, but it’s only on page 8.

[Jennifer] “Well no one takes the echo seriously”

But Brian’s right that local people all read their local papers. Especially the letters page. In which today’s Echo has at least half dozen about the Super Dairy, only one of which is in favour.

[Jennifer] “Maybe you're right darling. It's all running out of steam. With a bit of luck, it’ll soon blow over”

Eh?

Not a chance.



Jennifer’s a doormat (prt 6799921)

Jennifer’s received an email from Helen about the veg box recipes.

She’s a bit annoyed that Brian offered her up without talking to her.

[Jennifer] “It would have been nice if you’d asked me first … “

But, just when you think she’s standing up for herself:

[Jennifer] “Never mind, it’s something I can do for them”

An Exeat

Jennifer was reminding Brian that Ruairi had one.

I had to look it up.

It’s a weekend leave from boarding school.


Emma finally speaks out against Greenwood Cottage

Emma was wondering if George had left something at Casa Nueva. Ed went to correct her about the name of Will and Nic’s house (note that again: Will and Nic’s house)

[Emma] “I mean Casa Nueva … I don’t care what it says on the gate!”

She’s hurting.

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Susan and Clarrie have nothing to talk about 07.03.12

The Archers Wednesday 7th March 2012

• No malted milks!
• Clarrie’s fetching the paper
• Can’t gossip about Oliver
• Can’t gossip about Brian
• Jim can gossip
• A rude parsnip
• The Hungry Gap
• The WI big cake
• Susan sets Alan on Jim
• Jim has to pay compliments
• Is Brian thick?
• The Peregrines are back

No malted milks!

[Jim] “Oh dear. Still no malted milks. Oh well, it’ll have to be the digestives again”

Jinks. Ambridge living really is a shocker.



Clarrie’s fetching the paper

On Pat’s say so, for Tony.

Didn’t take long for Pat to start treating Clarrie like a serf again.


Can’t gossip about Oliver

Oliver’s been digging over Joe’s garden, as part of the Promise Auction Jim bidded on for Joe.

[Clarrie] “Joe’s been a bit naughty really, telling him Harry would have done it better cause he’s so much younger … course Oliver, being the man he is, takes it as a challenge”

But Susan has to stop her there. Clarrie’s verging on gossip (not allowed for Lent!)

After a bit of silence while Susan and Clarrie try to work out what they can talk about, Susan starts talking about Neil doing up her old doll house for Keira. Seems he’s finished the wallpapering, and is now touching up the paintwork.


Can’t gossip about Brian

Clarrie’s telling Susan that Brian’s back helping Helen with the veg boxes.

[Susan] “You heard about the demonstration at the market … it must have been very embarrassing …”

But Clarrie has to stop her there. Now Susan is verging on gossip.


Jim can gossip

Jim steps into Susan and Clarrie’s conversation.

[Brian] “From what I heard in The Bull last night … it must have been very awkward for Brian … Kirsty, right at the front, giving out leaflets to the farmers and Brian, rather ill-advisedly, I have to say, went up and tried to reason with her in front of the whole crowd and an Echo reporters, and you know what she said to him …”

But both Clarrie and Susan cut him off. It’s gossip. Even though they do desperately want to know what Kirsty said to Brian.


A rude parsnip

Helen’s showing Brian how to pack purple sprouting broccoli. He seems quite chuffed with himself for being able to do it, especially putting the elastic around the stems.

Simple pleasures.

As Helen stopped Brian talking to her about the demonstration (too controversial, with Helen obviously on the side of the protestors), and was mentioning that Pip is now helping Bridge Farm out with the milking …

[Brian] “Good lord. What’s that?”

[Helen] “A parsnip. One of our rejects …”

[Brian] “Really? I’ve never seen one that shape before!”

[Helen] “I’ll give it to Tom. I’m sure he can think of something imaginative to do with it”

Oh that’s a really nasty (nasty) thought …


The Hungry Gap

I never knew this – but the Hungry Gap refers to:

In cultivation of vegetables in a British-type climate, the hungry gap is the gardeners' name for the period in spring when there is little or no fresh produce available from a vegetable garden or allotment. It usually starts when overwintered brassica vegetables such as brussels sprouts and winter cauliflowers and January King cabbages "bolt" (i.e. run up to flower) as the days get warmer and longer, but sooner if a very hard frost kills these crops; and ends when the new season's first broad beans are ready.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungry_gap

Helen normally just sends out recipe cards to give folks suggestions for how to cook what is there. But, she hasn’t got time at the moment.

So Brian offers her up Jennifer. If Helen sends over all the recipes she’s used before, Jennifer will sort them out and print them.

Well, I suppose it was time Jennifer was given something to do.


The WI big cake

[Alan] “The WI are going to feed the 5000!”

Seems they’re making a big cake for the Jubilee picnic.

Well done WI.


Susan sets Alan on Jim

Susan sounds genuinely worried that she’s not managing with her ‘no gossip’ pledge for lent.

[Susan] “Me and Clarrie are running out of things to say …”

And then there’s Jim:

[Susan] “coming into the shop and trying to lead us astray. Tempting us with a nice bit of juicy gossip and trying to wear us down … you'd think he'd show more respect”

Alan concurs. And heads off to have a word with him.

[Alan] “Is it true you’ve been teasing Susan and Clarrie?”

[Jim] “That was nothing really … it was only a bit of harmless fine. I assure she knew I didn’t mean it seriously”

[Alan] “Well it’s easy for you to laugh, but it’s actually quite a bit deal for her … she’s really quite upset about it”

Jim promises to apologise next time he sees her.

But Alan isn’t done …

Jim has to pay compliments

[Jim] “I can see for Susan, gossip is her life blood. It’d be like me having to give up … doing the crossword”

Alan pushes Jim to come up with something harder. Something that would be truly tough for Jim to give up. In fact, he pushes Alan to take on a “more positive challenge” …

[Alan] “I don’t know. Pay someone a compliment every day … a different person everyday”

[Jim] “You really are serious?”

[Alan] “Of course, if you think you’ve got less will power than Susan …”

So of course, Jim agrees (just as if Alan had called him chicken … what big kids they are).

I don’t quite get why having to give a compliment to a different person every day is such a tough challenge.

Is it just because Jim can sometimes be a bit scathing?


Is Brian thick?

Can he not see that Adam is still furious with him? Or does Brian think that by ignoring it, Adam will suddenly snap out of it?

They’re talking about the demonstration.

[Brian] “Did you know it was going to happen?”

[Adam] “Nothing definite. There’s been some talk on the internet”

(though Brian doesn’t seem perturbed that Adam might have known about the demo … is Brian just assuming that Adam is involved in the anti-brigade, and doesn’t really care?)

[Brian] “And they’ve had leaflets printed. They’re not the usual bunny hugging nonsense. It’s a quite serious, well-argued piece of propaganda”

Adam tells Brian not to assume the protest was a one off, and tells Brian to look at their website.

Which Brian does. And then thanks Adam for “the warning” as the website is saying they will be demonstrating again tomorrow.

[Brian] “It’s a ruddy nuisance all the same. It’s just not what we need at this stage. And I think we got off so lightly at the public meeting”

Adam really isn’t interested. She sarcastically wishes Brian best of luck, but was basically saying ‘whatever’.

[Adam] “Brian, I don’t have any kind of inside information … I really don’t see why you’re so surprised about these protests … the power of social networking, word gets round, people take action, so what else did you expect?”

So, do we think Adam does have something to do with Kirsty and her protestors?


The Peregrines are back

Yay!

I was a bit worried when we heard Jim whispering:

[Jim] “Now then my beauties, where are you …”

But he was just trying to spot the peregrines. Lynda and Alan have seen them back at St. Stephens.

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FREE THE AMBRIDGE COW 06.03.12

The Archers Tuesday 6th March 2012

• COWS EAT GRASS
• There were never such devoted sisters
• Lilian to give up ciggies?
• Jennifer needs to speak to Adam

COWS EAT GRASS

Was one of the chants at the Mart demonstration today, joined with:

FREE THE AMBRIDGE COW
and
ALDRIDGE RESIGN

Cliff, the chap who’d project managed the build of the Mart, called Brian down to see a demonstration that was taking place. The demonstrators even had banners and leaflets!

[Brian] “It’s all about the dairy. The anti-brigade, would you believe. They’re trying to persuade farmers to support them and boycott the market … there’s only a dozen or so, but they’re causing quite a nuisance”

When Brian gets there, he estimates there’s more like 25 to 30 of them.

[Brian] “Look at them. Talk about a rabble. Where did they all come from?”

But Brian does recognise at least two of them.

[Brian] “Kirsty … our local tree hugger with her comrade Patrick”

Brian wants to know what they can do to move the demonstrators on. Cliff has had the Police out, but there’s nothing they can (or want) to do.

[Cliff] “Peaceful demonstrators excorcising their lawful right to protest”

[Brian] “What about the lawful rights of these farmers not to be harassed on their way into market?”

[Cliff] “There was something about the demonstrators having to notify the council”

But the Police are waiting on the right Council department to call them back to verify if that’s been done.

[Brian] “I’m going inside away from this scrum”

Later on, Brian has found out that the protestors didn’t notify the council BUT now that they’re started, they can’t really be stopped.

(begs the question of why they need to notify in the first place)

[Cliff] “They’ve got a nerve, haven’t they. Demonstrating at the market. When all’s said and done, what’s it got to do with your dairy scheme?”

It’s all to do with BL.

And more are now turning up. At which point Cliff leaves (he was only there to fix a specific technical problem), giving Brian the “Best of British” wishes.

Brian certainly needed it, after deciding that he’ll go out and:

[Brian] “see if I can calm things down”

Oh dear.

Brian doesn’t exactly have a soothing personality …

When Brian gets outside, he’s met with boos. When he asks who is in charge, Kirsty responds in a bit of a bizarre way:

[Kirsty] “Liberty and compassion, Brian”

(eh?)

[Kirsty] “This is nothing personal, you understand”

[Brian] “I’m glad to see you’re all so concerned about the diet and welfare of livestock”

[Kirsty] “It’s a shame you and BL directors seem to care … your cows won’t even get to see daylight”

But Brian doesn’t want a debate there and then, and asks them to leave.

[Brian] “Why don’t you pack up quietly, and get back to work, or wherever it is you go to”

(aye, that’s the way to get them on your side Brian!)

[Kirsty] “There are a lot of people out there who really hate your scheme … this is our way, and it won’t be the last time you see us. So you better get used to it Brian”

Oh-ho! Attacked on all side now. Couldn’t happen to a nicer chap.


There were never such devoted sisters

Lilian is arranging to collect Jennifer so they can both go and see Tony together.

[Lilian] “Shirt and sweet might be best … what he needs is some TLC from his sisters”

Jennifer’s brought a “scrumptious” (according to Tony) cake. Lilian’s brought an “assortment of nuts” because they have the “right sort of fatty acids” (according to Lilian’s healthy eating recipe book, which can’t have had much use …). Lilian felt she need to take something as Jennifer was taking something.

[Jennifer] “It’s not a competition Lilian”

[Lilian] “Oh yes it is. We don’t want him thinking I care less about him than you do”

(all said in jest)

Tony’s saying that while he now has to take pills for blood pressure and cholesterol, the doctors are saying Tony’s problems stems from stress rather than diet.

Jennifer sounded a bit sheepish after he’d said that … (guilt’s a terrible thing).

Tony has also had a call from a rehab specialist. And Helen has bought him a “gadget” so that he can check his own blood pressure. Tony tries to put it on Lilian to show them how it works.

[Lilian] “Take it away darling, with my lifestyle, it’ll go right off the scale!”

But to be serious:

[Lilian] “After all darling, it’s much too soon for us to lose our little brother”

[Jennifer] “Yes. Yes it is”

[Tony] “Well, that’s nice of you, thanks, both of you”

Lilian to give up ciggies?

As Jennifer and Lilian are driving home, they agree that Tony is looking a lot better. But:

[Lilian] “He’s still a long way from the Tony we know and love”

[Jennifer] “It’s all made me think very hard about our lifestyle …”

And she goes on to speak about how good their diet is, that they take exercise …

[Lilian] “Oh dear, I’m a hopeless case aren’t I? Perhaps I should have another bash at giving up the ciggies”

Jennifer needs to speak to Adam

Jennifer’s telling Lilian that while the Super Dairy has been stressing her, and nearly tore her family apart, she’s now sighing relief that Adam and Brian have “talked sensibly”.

So Jennifer seems to think everyone’s bessie pals again. But she does admit that she’s only heard this from Brian.

[Lilian] “Well, you can’t argue with a handshake, I suppose”

You can if it was only done to get the other person to shut up and go away!

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Tom has genuine concern for another person! 05.03.12

The Archers Monday 5th March 2012

• David Vs Ruth
• Clarrie’s obsessively washing her hands
• Pat wants to forget how she treated Clarrie
• Tom Archer’s Ready Meals are “okay”
• Emma’s lost her free babysitter
• Tom’s worried for Tony

David Vs Ruth

[Ruth] “It’s not often you’re down before me on a Monday morning”

David’s still helping Bridge Farm out with their milking.

He’s also still harassing Ruth to tell him what her magic solution is for the dairy herd.

Ruth grunts at him and tries to change the subject.

[Ruth] “And there’s other things we need to talk about. Like Ben’s birthday!”

When they later sit down to talk, Ruth’s priority is to again sort out Ben’s birthday. They agree that he’ll have a party on Friday.

[David] “So now that that is decided, I think the future of our dairy herd is slightly more urgent”

[Ruth] “Okay, you think I don’t realise that!?!”

[David] “We’ve agreed that you’re going to come up with a plan to keep the cows …”

Ruth tells David she’s working on it. She’s looking into other systems, and is talking to “someone with figures”.

[Ruth, furious!] “David, don’t do this, stop hassling me, when I’ve got the information I’ll tell you about it … so please just back off and give me some time!!!”

oo-er!

I can see both sides.

David’s worried they’ll go bankrupt if they don’t make a change soon.

Ruth doesn’t want to lose the dairy herd, but finding a way of keeping them isn’t easy. Or fast.


Clarrie’s obsessively washing her hands

Clarrie back working at the Bridge Farm dairy.

She’s first worried about making sure her hair net covers all of her hair.

And she’s worried about remembering what to do (Susan reckons it’s been 8 or 9 months since Clarrie was working in the dairy). Especially with the new Rhubarb and Elderflower flavours.

[Clarrie] “I hope I still remember it all. You’ll have to watch out for me, Susan”

Understandably, Clarrie is a bit obsessed with washing her hands. The poor woman must be terrified.

[Clarrie] “I’m still having to pinch myself, I can’t believe I’m back here”

Bless Clarrie. No anger or resentment towards Pat or Tony.

Both Clarrie and Susan are glad to be back working together. Even though they can’t have their usual 10 rounds of gossip.

[Susan] “Me and Clarrie will have to min our P and Qs today. No gossiping!”

When Susan tells Susan that Tracey have got her kids into Loxley Barrett, so can stop having to drive them miles to their old school, and can start looking for a job – Susan worries about whether that can be classified as gossip.

[Clarrie] “No, that’s just family news isn’t it?”

[Susan] “Well that’s good. Means we’ve still got something to talk about”

Pat wants to forget how she treated Clarrie

[Pat] “Thanks for coming in. It’s really not been the same without you”

[Clarrie] “That’s so nice of you … I do wish I could turn the clock back Pat I wish it never happened”

Pat tells Clarrie to forget it, put it behind them, and crack on with the work that there’s now to do.

More about Pat wanting to forget how she treated Clarrie than anything to do with e.coli …



Tom Archer’s Ready Meals are “okay”

Hmm. That’s not exactly a wonderful endorsement from the focus groups.

But Tom seems happy enough. And is still very keen to get his hands on the DVD of the groups.

Can’t imagine that’d be remotely stimulating viewing. Each to their own, I suppose.


Emma’s lost her free babysitter

We don’t hear from Emma today, but Clarrie’s apologising to Susan that she can’t babysit anymore. Though Eddie is taking the shift today.

Emma will not be pleased.



Tom’s worried for Tony

Tom’s back home after a long say.

He’s stressed and overworked, so Brenda gives him a wee shoulder massage (which sounded quite painful).

[Brenda] “You can’t do it all at once, Tom. You’ve got to pace yourself”

(look at what happened to Tony. But who was it who wouldn’t let Tony pace himself? Oh aye, it was Tom …)

[Tom] “It’s not just the work. It’s dad too … will he (be fine) … well, no one’s saying it, but there are no guarantees are there. I mean, look what happened to your mum … we all thought she was fine after her first heart attack”

[Brenda] “We all did. But I think it’s different now”

My goodness.

I never give Tom any credit (he doesn’t deserve it). But he does sound genuinely worried about losing his dad. And not just because it’d mean more work.

Tom is indeed human after all.

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Tom cleans the yard, Ian & Adam go out for lunch 04.03.12

The Archers Sunday 4th March 2012

• Adam’s grumpy
• Peggy is oblivious when it comes to Tom
• Focus group DVD
• Peggy doesn’t lecture Tony
• Tony wants to go to Felpersham
• Ian Craig, the fish whisperer …
• Brian’s like a grinning pike
• Clarrie’s back tomorrow

Adam’s grumpy

Well, he does have to work while Ian has had a lie-in.

[Ian] “Out there communing with the fresh air and the birdsong …”

[Adam] “Three hours out with the sprayer”

[Ian] “Okay, well I was thinking of you … dreaming maybe!”

Adam’s particularly grumpy today because Jennifer has asked him and Ian to a family Sunday lunch.

[Adam] “What, us all sitting round the table passing the horse radish, I don’t think so … Brian’s been telling her we’ve had this big reconciliation. Now she thinks it’s all sweetness and light we can go back to playing happy families … I just can’t do it”

So Ian decides he’ll take Adam out to a nice pub for lunch instead. Especially if he can swing one where he knows the chef, so could get a free starter …


Peggy is oblivious when it comes to Tom

Peggy is at Bridge Farm to see Tony. She bumps into Tom, who is taking photos of the farm.

[Tom] “Only the farm was such a mess, I’ve spent half the weekend clearing it up”

[Peggy] “On top of everything else”

[Tom] “Ah well, it’s almost done now”

[Peggy] “You must be running round chasing your tail”

Eh?

Tom only has to do the work he’d tried to dump onto Tony. And that Tom now has to do Tony’s work is because he harassed Tony to the point of collapse.

But all of that is completely lost on Tom, and Peggy.


Focus group DVD

Has got Tom very excited.

A focus group have tasted his ready meals, and Ambridge Organics’ “new spring flavours”. But we don’t know the results yet.


Peggy doesn’t lecture Tony

Peggy’s brought Tony miniature narcissi from her own bulbs, and is happy to see that Tony is feeling better every day.

[Peggy] “Now I don’t want to lecture you, but perhaps you should look on what’s happened as a warning, a sign that you’ve been under too much stress … we all have our limits. It’ll do you no harm at all to step back a bit, take things easier”

[Tony] “I’m not quite ready to retire yet!”

Which Peggy isn’t saying he should, but:

[Peggy] “Tom’s young and fit and very capable”

(blimey. Peggy really does rate Tom)


Tony wants to go to Felpersham

So he tells Peggy. He wants to be at Friday’s café launch.

Peggy tells Pat.

[Peggy] “Oh dear, he was never the easiest patient … I’m still worrying he’ll try and do too much too soon … and it’s not for me to interfere, but do you really think he should go with you to Felpersham … I don’t think it’s very sensible”

Pat had no ken.

She later tells Tom, who agrees that the launch will be too much for Tony.

But how will they stop him going?

I don’t know. But that was the cliff-hanger we were left with tonight …(!!!).


Ian Craig, the fish whisperer …

At lunch, Ian gives the scallops starter 8 out of 10, but only gives the ambiance 5 out of 10. Mainly because of:

[Ian] “That stuffed pike on the wall, I don’t like the way it’s looking at me. Giving me the evil eye”

[Adam] “It’s just a dead fish. You’re paranoid”

[Ian] “No, you can feel the malice,. I don’t think it had a very happy life”

[Adam] “How can you tell?”

[Ian] “Fish empathy. It’s kind of a gift you know. You might not realise this but I have this mysterious bond with our finny friends, ever since I won a goldfish at the fair when I was 8 years old”

Which gets Adam laughing. Not a sound we’ve heard from Adam in a long time.

[Ian] “At last, my comic genius has scored a hit!”

Brian’s like a grinning pike

Though Ian does get Adam to chuckle, he’s also aware that Adam can only think about Brian. And he’s right. When Adam looks at the stuffed pike, all he can see if Brian grinning back to him.

So Ian tells Adam to air his most recent Brian related woes:

[Adam] “Brian caught me at a weak moment, I was tired and had enough … just wanted him to go away … it’s fantasy, he’s away in la la land, he wants us all to be chums again so that he can go ahead with his dairy scheme with a clear conscience”

Adam also thinks that the Super Dairy is a dead cert now.

[Adam] “what can stop them now?”

Ah, ye have little faith in Pat, Ruth and Lynda once they’ve been stirred!


Clarrie’s back tomorrow

Working at Bridge Farm.

[Pat] “Going to make our life so much easier … it’ll be lovely to have her around”

[Tony] “The old team back together”

Actually, you can see where Tom gets his arrogance and lack of empathy from.

Pat and Tony, completely oblivious of the pain and anguish they left Clarrie in (although I know she resigned – neither Pat nor Tony have hardly been supportive).

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Clarrie is back in the dairy 02.03.12

The Archers Friday 2nd March 2012

• Schmallenberg
• The return of Clarrie
• Brian bought Clarrie for Jennifer
• Clarrie’s not gossiping
• David’s being mean
• Chris owns his own business
• Long term recovery for Tony?
• Brian uses Tony to grind down Adam

Schmallenberg

The Schmallenberg virus has really passed me by.

Clarrie came across Ruth feeding a lamb. Though it was a bit shy from eating, Ruth was just glad it was healthy.

Which was when they started talking about the “nasty virus”. Seems Bill Oldfield has even told Pip she can’t go ahead with the Hassett Lamb project (celebrity lamb and such) until next year.

Seems the Schmallenberg virus doesn’t affect humans, but does damage unborn lambs, causing deformity or death. In adults, it causes diarrhoea, fever and a decrease in milk yields.

(more low milk yields at Brookfield – though also in the lambs is a bit much)

Seems the virus has come from Germany, and will cause problems for some time to come.

Who’d be a farmer …


The return of Clarrie

Ruth was telling Clarrie that David was at Bridge Farm helping out again, and that Tom and Helen are just about managing.

Clarrie’s just worried for Tony.

[Clarrie] “I thought about going in to see him, but didn’t want to be in the way”

Adam’s over at bridge Farm later on offering to help drive tractors and the like. He was also surprised to hear that Brian had been helping with the veg boxes.

[Pat] “From what Helen says, I think he quite enjoyed it … he’s offered to come and do it again”

Helen and Pat are later talking about everything they have to work at. There’s the café launch, so Tom will need to get his ready meals sorted, and they the Ambridge Organics produce.

[Helen] “We’ve managed so far, but only by the skin of our teeth”

Seems Susan is also working evenings, but can’t keep that on indefinitely.

[Helen] “I don’t see how we can do it mum, not with things the way they are”

Especially with Tony not able to work, and Pat having to spend most of her time looking after Tony. Helen reckons they need extra help.

[Helen] “Someone who knows what they’re doing and can get straight back to work”

[Pat] “You mean Clarrie … we can’t just ask her now, out of the blue, after everything that’s happened?”

But Helen’s quite right that Clarrie hasn’t got work yet. And it’d make sense for Bridge Farm to ask Clarrie first, rather than having to hunt down someone completely new.

[Helen] “It might be easier coming from me. Less complicated”

(meaning that Pat treated Clarrie abysmally over the e coli outbreak)

So, Helen goes round to see Clarrie, who is delighted to see her.

[Clarrie] “I’ve been thinking about you all, wondering how you was managing … poor man … I can’t tell you how glad I am Helen.

(that Tony is okay)

“It was such a shock when I heard. And then waiting for new, I just didn’t know what to think … I wanted to ask, do you think he’d mind if I popped down to seem him?”

[Helen] “I wanted to ask you a really big favour … do you think you’d be able to come back and help us out … it would be p great for us if you could, but only if you really feel you’d like to …”

[Clarrie] “Helen, you don’t have to ask, well of course I will. Of course I’ll come back”

Clarrie is desperate for work, and we know she’s not one to hold a grudge, but there is something distasteful about how Helen and co treated here, then take her back when it suits them.

And how are they going to afford the extra wages again? I thought they were still skint? Or does Tony have insurance (can claim off the Government as well?)


Brian bought Clarrie for Jennifer

As we know, but Clarrie now has to do some swotting with Bert to make sure she knows what she’s talking about to Jennifer.

Just like Eddie.

Making only half a promise auction …


Clarrie’s not gossiping

Clarrie’s telling Ruth and David that Sabrina paid £85 for Harry, and that Sabrina wants harry to wait until the weather gets warmer to do the work in her garden (as we already know).

[Clarrie] “And we can all guess why …”

But Clarrie suddenly stops talking, and rushes away.

[David] “She’s done it to, given up gossip for lent!”

David’s being mean

In my humble opinion.

He’s on at Ruth again to talk about the farm. More specifically, he wants her to agree with them that they have no choice but to get rid of the dairy herd.

[David] “We’ve got to sort out this stalemate”

[Ruth] “Sorry David, I haven’t got time for this”

But David later corners her again.

[David] “Every hour, that you spend working with the cows, you’re doing it for nothing. Making a loss even. You’re gaining us one step closer to going bust … so we need to stop and make some time and come up with some answers”

He gets a bit aggressive, though also sounds upset. He wants Ruth to tell him what their plans should be, as she doesn’t want to sell the herd.

[David] “So what is the alternative … where do we go from here?”

[Ruth] “I just don’t know what to do”

[David] “Okay, we’ll take some time and have a think about it but we need an answer soon. You say you can’t live without the cows, alright, so you tell me, how can we afford to live with them?”

As much as David is right to force Ruth to make a decision, I don’t see how harassing and shouting at her will help.


Chris owns his own business

Though we didn’t hear it direct from Chris or Alice, Chris signed the contract today to buy out Ronnie.

Will that mean they can stop scrimping? Or is it only just the start?


Long term recovery for Tony?

Pat reckons Tony will have to just get used to sitting and being waited on.

Adam later tells Brian that he also thinks Tony is in for a long haul recovery.

[Alice] “From the way looked this morning, sat in his chair in the kitchen, I’d say it’s going to be a while before he’s back to milking twice a day … I really felt for him. And after all they’ve been through”

[Brian] “I suppose there’s a lesson there for us all somewhere .. .life’s too short. I mean a thing like that, it could have been any of us, it could have been me,. So make best use of your time while you’ve got it”

Brian uses Tony to grind down Adam

Brian again asks Adam to “bury the hatchet”

(sure Adam would be delighted to if it was a real ‘un!)

[Adam] “If it were that simple …”

[Brian] “It’s just like I said to you the other day. All we have to do is respect each other’s opinions and agree to differ”

[Adam] “You can't just wish these things away, Brian.”

[Brian] “But surely we can agree to shake hands, declare a truth, or whatever you want to call it. Come on, for the sake of the family!”

[Adam, obviously fed up with being badgered by Brian] “Okay … yes, if you want”

They shake hands.

[Brian], ever patronising] “Good man, Well done. It wasn’t so hard, was it? ... It’ll make life so much easier for the both of us,. And your mother will be thrilled when I tell her”

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Lily’s a bell ringer 01.03.12

The Archers Thursday 1st March 2012

• Neil’s teaching Lily to bell ring
• Silly us … it’s all about Elizabeth
• Tony’s warmed by truce with Jennifer
• Tom visits Tony
• Tracey’s smoking in the kitchen
• Laughing at Susan

Neil’s teaching Lily to bell ring

She seems quite keen.

Neil tells her to look straight ahead, not at the ceiling, and to do a backstroke 9though not of the swimming variety). Then there was something about the Sally (the fluffy stripped but), and both of them pulling on the strokes.

(no inappropriate jokes, please)

Neil reckons Lily has a “natural feel” as a bell ringer. And even gives her a go on one that hasn’t got its clanger tied up.

[Lily] “I’m a real bell ringer!”

Wonder how long this fad will last …



Silly us … it’s all about Elizabeth

Neil was telling Elizabeth about how he’s been helping Jazzer with the pigs while Tony is in hospital.

[Neil] “As far as I can tell, they’re getting by, but it must be a struggle”

Elizabeth tells him she’ll be off to see Tony today.

[Elizabeth] “Well as it happens, I do know my way round the coronary unit”

Of course! Just in case we forget that Elizabeth has heart problems too …


Tony’s warmed by truce with Jennifer

[Tony] “It’s a great weight off my mind too .. if it lasts … Grow up and start behaving like sensible adults again. At least there’s one good thing to come out of this”

True.

But will it last? Especially with the Super Dairy ever looming ...


Tom visits Tony

Tom’s been hiding behind farm work – he’s avoiding going to see Tony in hospital (the guilt is too much).

Tony asks Helen to ask Tom if he’ll come to see him.

Helen delivers the message to Tom, but Tom isn’t sure.

But the guilt steps to one side for a second to go and see his dad.

They chat about bulling and AI, then Tony thanks Tom for his “quick thinking” and for using his head.

[Tony] “Saved my life. No two ways about it.; So, all in all, I’ve got a lot to be thankful for.”

[Tom] “I guess it’s lucky I came back out to the parlour when I did … all those things I said to you …”

[Tony] “It doesn’t matter now. Ancient history. I really don’t want to talk about it”

With Tony also having made up with Jennifer, it really is happy families with the side of the Archer clan.

Now, if David and Elizabeth can make up … hmmm, unlikely.



Tracey’s smoking in the kitchen

And is well settled into living at Bert’s (well, it’s her house as well. Not that anyone apart from her and Bert know that).

Neil also mentioned that she was also constantly “missing” about with something.

Did anybody make out what?


Laughing at Susan

[Tony] “So, come on then, entertain me, what’s all the news . .did I dream this, or did someone tell me Susan Carter is giving up gossip … for her, that must be like making a vow of silence .. .Clarrie,. oh blimey, it’s going to be quiet around the village”

[Tom] “Walk into the shop and you’ll hear …”

[Tony] “ … absolutely nothing!”

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Tony’s fine 29.02.12

The Archers Wednesday 29th February 2012

• Jennifer feels guilty
• What’s the diagnosis?
• Tom feels guilty
• Brian doing veg boxes
• Jennifer and Tony make friends
• How many people does it take to cover Tony’s work?

Jennifer feels guilty

At last! She’s taken a while to realise that she hasn’t exactly treated her wee brother as a sister should.

Helen has called Jennifer and Brian to let them know that Tony is comfortable, and sleeping.

[Brian to Jennifer] “Come on love, it's late. There’s nothing more either of us can do now”

But Jennifer’s guilt is keeping her awake. She thinks they should have known that this could happen, especially with Tony having looked so “tired and awful” recently.

[Jennifer] “And then I was horrible to him over the website, and I went round there and said such terrible things to him … supposing that the worst had happened and we’d never had a chance to make up”

What’s the diagnosis?

Pat’s in seeing Tony.

Seems his blood pressure is fine, and his pulse rate is normal. He’ll be getting home Friday night.

The Angioplasty (which, Tony helpfully tells us) is a line put into his artery, which ballooned to break the blockage, and now he has a metal stent to hold the artery open.

[Helen] “So it shouldn’t happen again?”

[Pat] “Hopefully not”

...

[Pat] “Heart seems okay. No lasting damage”

[Tony] “It means I won’t be permanently affected. I can get back to work …”

Tony is a bit perturbed that he will have to take pills every day for the rest of his life, but is very aware it could have been far worse. Here’s hope he can take it easy from mow on (here that Tony!).


Tom feels guilty

[Pat] “We’re just so lucky you found him when you did. It made all the difference”

Though Tom is very much hero of the day for finding Tony, and Pat’s telling him just to be there for Tony (and get some sleep amongst working), Tom thinks Tony’s heart attack is his fault.

(I reckon he’s right. Tom was harassing Tony, while leaving him to do all the hard farm work)

[Tom] “I know I’m more to blame for this than anyone … it’s what Helen said mum, and it’s true … I was just too preoccupied with my own stuff”

[Helen] “The best way you can help dad now is to put it out of your mind and get on with running the farm”

Aye – get some work done, young Tom!


Brian doing veg boxes

Ambridge rallies round to help Bridge Farm.

David’s helping Tom do the milking. Susan and Jazzer are doing extra hours. And Brian’s once again rolled his sleeves up to do some real work (as he did for David and Ruth when David was Lower Loxley obsessed after Nigel died). I have to give Brian his due – he can be handy at time.

[Brian on Tony] “He’s had enough to put up with, he doesn’t deserve a thing like this”

[Pat to Tony] “I had a text from Tom. Brian’s helping Helen with the veg boxes!”

[Tony] “I’d like to see that”

But there’s more. Brian then offers to also deliver the veg boxes.

[Brian] “You put me in the van and point me in the right direction”

Helen’s gobsmacked.

[Jennifer] “Hello. Gosh, look at you both, hard at it!”

Again, to give Brian is due, he’s helpful when he chooses to be so.



Jennifer and Tony make friends

[Pat] “I don’t know how you feel about this … Jennifer called again this morning, she’d like to come and see you”

Tony agrees.

When Jennifer arrives to see Tony, he doesn’t say a word to correct her when she claims that Pat called her to say that Tony could have visitors, and that he’s bored.

She’s brought him apricots, cherries and strawberry bon bons

[Jennifer] “You were always pitching mine at the cinema”

“Tony …. Oh I’m so glad you’re so much better. You gave us all such a fright … it’s made me think hard about, well a lot of things, and about the last few months and the way I’ve behaved … it’s made me realise how mean and awful I’ve been to you … well it’s all so trivial, so silly and pointless compared to the things that really matter “

[Tom] “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I know what you’re trying to say … and you’re absolutely right. None of it really matters. Other things are far more important”

[Jennifer] “So, can we forget about it, leave it all behind us”

[Tony] “Jennifer yes of course, if you’re happy to do that then so am I”

Aw.

Happy families again.


How many people does it take to cover Tony’s work?

They’re all just about managing to keep ontop of Bridge Farm.

So Tony has been replaced by Susan, Brian, Jazzer, Tom, Tony and Helen.

Pat also isn’t at work – and they do all also have to do their own normal work – but I think it shows just how much of the weight Tony was shouldering.

They should be ashamed of themselves. Tony is hardly a young, fit man anymore.

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Tony has a heart attack 28.02.12

The Archers Tuesday 28th February 2012

• It really is Tom’s fault
• Brian’s waving and smiling at Helen
• Seriously, it was Tom!
• Tony finally succumbs
• Nic’s seeing fireworks
• Tom finally does the milking
• Helen keeps the Home fires burning
• Tony’s fine

It really is Tom’s fault

Tom’s on at Tony. Again.

Something about:

[Tom] “He’s like THE Mr Chilli Pepper man”

(eh? If the chap Tom is talking about is “like” THE Mr Chilli Pepper man, who is actually the Mr Chilli Pepper man?)

Tony isn’t interested. He’s already had a long day, is behind in his work and still need to do the milking.

Tom isn’t listening.

[Tom] “Every day is costing me money … at least we can talk about it, have a discussion …”

[Tony] “I’m sorry, but I’m flat out. I’ve got other things on my mind”

[Tom] “Oh sure, what you mean is you can’t bear to spend a few quid on a poly tunnel”

[Tony] “Tom, please …”

Tom still isn’t listening. He continues to waffle on about investment, selling the surplus at a premium, they can’t lose, it’s a win win …

[Tony] “Tom, I said I’m not going to discuss this now!”

[Tom] “But why?”

[Tony] “Because I’m shattered. And if I don’t get on I won’t get finished til midnight. So will you shut up about it? Please!”

Brian’s waving and smiling at Helen

That must have been a terrifying sight.

[Pat] “I expect he was wondering how to spend his huge profits he’ll make from his evil dairy scheme”

Seriously, it was Tom!

After Tony stormed off to do the milking, Tom’s stormed off into the kitchen.

[Tom] “Talk about hitting a brick wall … Why can’t he just be reasonable for once in his life … he ended up telling me to get lost!”

His shouting makes Henry cry. Both Helen and Pat tell him to leave Tony alone.

[Tom] “No. No I can’t keep putting it off. Milking or no milking, I have to settle this now”

So off he storms to the milking parlour.

A*se.


Tony finally succumbs

Tom finds Tony slumped in the milking parlour.

[Tony] “Inside my chest … and my arm … it’s bad, it’s very bad … like a crashing …”

Thankfully Tom has a wee bit of wit about him, puts a jacket over Tony and calls an ambulance.

[Tony] “The cows …”

When the Ambulance crew arrive, it actually sounds like Tony is having a stroke as well as a heart attack.

But when asked, Tony says the pain is an 8 or a 9 out of 10 (horrific agony rather than a stroke).

Tony says that the pain came on fast, and the ambulance crew spray something on his tongue for pain, do a blood test and give him an ECG. All on the milking parlour floor.

I didn’t know they could do that.


Nic’s seeing fireworks

Nic has a new passport.

Nicola Grundy.

[Nic] “So it’s official now, and we can go off anywhere in the world together!”

(no comment …)

The kids then run into the room with fireworks. Seems Nic was clearing out and didn’t notice them.

Rather than being horrified as such dangerously bad parenting, they all decide to set them off!

[Nic] “Why not? It was our 8 week anniversary on Saturday”

Just as they’re setting the fireworks on their way (after tea, and when it’s gone dark), Nic rushes over to the car to put on a CD.

Shania Twain. You’re Still the One.

(as they played at their wedding)

A little bit of a sick bucket moment, and doesn’t Nic seem a tad clingy?


Tom finally does the milking

It only took his dad having a heart attack to make him finally do his work.


Helen keeps the Home fires burning

(see what I did there … Home fires at Home Farm …. though it should be Bridge Farm … sorry …)

Helen’s called Nic to ask her to babysit Henry. She’s also called Lilian, Jennifer and David.

(why not Kenton and Elizabeth?)

She’s also having to deal with a guilt ridden Tom.

(as he should be!)

[Tom] “But we should have known Helen. We should have seen this coming, the way he’s being … it’s all down to me, the way I kept pushing and hassling”

[Helen] “Tom please it doesn’t matter why we’ve just got to stay calm and wait and hope …”

Tony’s fine

Pat calls home.

[Pat] “Dad’s okay. He’s going g to be alright …it was a heart attack. A blocked artery, but he got here in time, he’s already had a small operation … an angioplasty”

After she’s off the phone, she gets a chance to talk to Tony.

[Tony, sounding very wobbly] “Yea … not so bad. Much better than before. Did you speak to Tom? Is everything alright at home?”

[Pat] “Yes. Yes the cows are alright., Everything’s fine”

[Tony] “I’m sorry to be such a nuisance … well, for a while there, I really thought I was a goner”

Pat starts crying.

[Pat] “I thought the same. I thought …”

[Tony] “It’s alright. I’m okay now”

Good.

Must admit that I was not remotely concerned about Tony.

Not that I dislike him.

It wasn’t his time.

(it should be Tom’s!)

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