Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Lynda has the power! – 18.09.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Wednesday 18th September 2013
  • “The tomatoes are on the soft side”
  • Kirsty sounds sad
  • Tony buys Tom wire and insulator
  • Ray’s upped and off
  • Tony’s matchmaking?
  • Ray does this all the time
  • Oliver installs Lynda on the throne
  • Queen Lynda’s first act

“The tomatoes are on the soft side”

So says Tony.

Kirsty best do as told, and mark ‘em down. Full price soft tomatoes would never do.

(I mean that!)

Kirsty sounds sad

Even Tony noticed.

She puts it down to having to work at Jaxx and Ambridge Organics.

[Kirsty] “Last night was a bit full on … I could do with a night off.”

[Tony] “Two jobs, even at your tender age …”

Tony can also sympathise. He has the spuds to do next week.

Tony buys Tom wire and insulator

Kirsty asks Tony how Tom is doing.

[Tony] “I’ve not seen that much of him … We did have a discussion.”

(about the ready meals, Bellinghams and the like)

Kirsty tells Tony how stressed Tom has been.

[Kirsty] “He tries not to let it show  … I dunno, it’s a lot of pressure for him .. but you’ve got to admire him for taking it on, haven’t you?”

That gives Tony food for thought.

He even goes out of his way to buy a roll of wire, and insulators, for Tom. Without even being asked.

[Tony] “Last time we talked, let’s say it wasn’t in the best of circumstances.”

He asks Tom how things are progressing. And that’s a genuine question – not one designed to get another ‘I told you so’ dig in at Tom.

Tom admits sales haven’t picked up. And Bellinghams still have committed to any other orders.

[Tom] “So yes, maybe it was a mistake to increase production. My mistake, though.”

(i.e., not Rob’s)

Tony tells Tom to hang on in there.

[Tom] “I don’t have a lot of choice, do I?”

Well no. Not really.

Those ready meals are ready …

Ray’s upped and off

[Ian] “Robbie said that Ray’s gone off somewhere.”

[Lynda] “Yes, he’s done a bunk … and guess who’s gone with him!”

Mrs Shen … not his wife.

Seems no-one saw them leave.

[Lynda, finding this ever so delicious] “They must have sneaked off in the middle of the night like a couple of teenage truants!”

Ray left her an email saying he was called away on urgent business.

[Lynda] “And regretfully will not be able to finish his engagement as temporary manager.”

Ian’s rolling around in hysterics, at this point:

[Lynda] “Well I’m glad you find it all so amusing Ian.”

(well, Lilian should also admit to herself that she finds it darn amusing too!)

Course, the important now is … who will be temporary manager until Oliver and Caroline return on Friday? Lynda’s left a message for Oliver.

[Lynda] “Now that I’ve done that, I think I might give Ray’s wife a call.”


Tony’s matchmaking?

[Tony] “You seen much of Kirsty lately. She just seems a bit down this morning, don’t know why.”

Huh … Tony’s not as oblivious as he sometimes seems.

Tom takes the hint, and pops by to say hello to Kirsty during one of his ‘pig runs’.

(that always make me smile. I imagine Tom jogging along Ambridge with a pig, happily trotting along beside)

Seems Damon was in Jaxx last night with his new girlfriend, while Kirsty was working.

[Kirsty] “So I was stuck behind the bar and he was being really snide and nasty to me … ooh look at me, I’m having such a great time with my sexy girlfriend, and you’re such a loser Kirsty …”

[Tom] “Oh dear. Sounds desperate.”

[Kirsty] “I really don’t care. But I could have done without it. It’s just let me feeling, well, you know.”

So Tom marches her out of work.

[Tom] “No donuts, so it had to be cheesecake, and I made sure both bits were exactly the same size, so no cake envy.”

Kirsty dives on the cheesecake.

(not literally, just with her fork)

[Tom] “Never seen a  slice of cheesecake before?”

[Kirsty] “It’s just, when you’ve been going out with a vegan.”

[Tom] “No sticky cream puddings then?”

[Kirsty] “And he used to make me feel so guilty about.”

Which is why Kirsty reckons she’s put on weight … eh??? Surely no cake = loss of weight?

Anyhoo – Tom reckons she looks great.

[Tom] “He’s just sad and pathetic, it’s him that’s the loser, not you.”

That makes Kirsty feel a lot better.

Though, does this mean Tom is also interested?

He knows she is.

Ray does this all the time

Harriet (ray’s wife) told Lynda that he’s done this sort of sham before.

In fact, he has a long history of it.

[Lynda] “She had no idea where they’d gone, and she didn’t seem to care neither.”

Seems Harriet knows Ray will be back when his money runs out.

I have a couple of questions:

1)    Why didn’t Harriet tell Caroline and Oliver that Ray wasn’t to be trusted?

2)    Why did Harriet let Ray go to Grey Gables is he ‘has form’?

3)    And why is no-one concerned about the MASSIVE bill Mrs Shen must have run up? Surely his is a Police matter??? (I didn’t hear anyone say that Ray had settled her bill)

Oliver installs Lynda on the throne

Lynda tells Oliver all.

Oliver feels responsible (as he should! He’d have hired anyone, if only to get Caroline on holiday)

[Oliver] “How could he do such a thing, it’s so childish and reckless and irresponsible.”

[Lynda, getting to her point] “He’s left us shorthanded, without a proper manager … what happens til then?”

[Oliver, taking the hint] “Well, this maybe too much to ask, would you be willing to step up and take his place.”

[Lynda] “You mean as manager?”

[Oliver] “Acting manager.”

Of course, Lynda would be most delighted.

[Oliver] “Might be best not hot bother Caroline with this …”

She’ll never go on holiday again …

Queen Lynda’s first act

Is to scrap the Mexican evening.

But Ian points out she can’t. They have already taken bookings.

[Lynda] “If I can’t scrap it, I can at least try and raise the tone a little … we have our reputation to defend.”

There’s even a journalist from the Echo coming along.

So, there will be a Mexican evening. But Lynda has banned the mariachi band, piñata, costumes and best moustache competition. Ian also now gets to create the menu.

[Lynda] “There will be no more crude stereotypes while I’m in charge.”

Ian’s still concerned. What about the customers who want stereotypes? (‘fun’, Ray would have called it)

[Lynda] “Well, Ian, those are just the kind of guests we don’t want at Grey Gables …  In spite of all Ray’s vulgar plans, we will make this a  night we can all be proud of!”


Odds on it will just be as disastrous?

No comments: