Monday, 9 September 2013

Matt and Lilian, back home – Mon 09.09.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Monday 9th September 2013
  • They’re back!
  • Lewis has need for hay
  • Now David’s smitten with Rob
  • Ian and Kathy compare bad bosses
  • Lilian impresses Matt
  • The asparagus is overcooked!
  • The Conservation Officer’s causing trouble
  • Anthea’s here to stay

They’re back!

Lilian and Matt make their return to Ambridge proper.


Hopefully no more Russian mafia …

Wonder if Brenda will also return shortly? If she does, the memory of her long haired lover from St Petersburg will keep her warm for a wee while.

Lewis has need for hay

(well, the hay was technically on Elizabeth’s request)

So David obliges.

[Lewis] “She asked if you could very kindly put the hay in the open fronted shed.”

David again obliges.

(erm … and that was that, really)

Now David’s smitten with Rob

Seems the Brookfield calving has calmed down.

[Lewis] “So, you’ve not had to call on your new neighbour again … according to Elizabeth, he saved your bacon.”

David concurs.

Seems Rob has also invited David to see the Super Dairy. Which he reckons he will. Just to check out the competition, of course …

[Lewis] “Is Ruth going with you?”

[David, laughing] “She’s not too keen on the idea …”

Neither should you, Mr Archer.

Ian and Kathy compare bad bosses

[Ian] “At least I can hide in the kitchen some of the time, it’s Lynda who’s at the sharp end.”

[Kathy] “This Ray seems a nice enough man, he’s very sociable.”

[Ian] “Let’s just say he has his own way of doing things …”

Kathy’s trying to have a week break from Martyn.

[Kathy] “Today he’ll just have to wait until I’m ready.”

[Ian] “That bloke’s not a real human being, he’s just a walking spread sheet, don’t be intimidated.”

Ian also has the news that Marianna (Grey Gables’ Health Club Manager) is about to move North. Which would mean Kathy’s also about to lose her chef (Marianne’s husband).

Oh dear.

That can’t be good for Kathy …

Lilian impresses Matt

She takes him to see the old paper mill project, which seems to be moving on apace.

[Matt] “How did you get these boys moving so fast?”

[Lilian] “Usual method. If my charm doesn’t work, I just get on the phone and shout.”

[Matt] “It’s going to take a day or two to get back on the same page … daft I know, but half me head is still watching out for strangers in parked cars …”

[Lilian] “That’s all behind us now, you’re not in Russia anymore.”

Lilian’s chuffed that Matt’s so chuffed with her work.

[Matt] “A real class renovation job …  and a lot more tasteful than the St Petersburg …”

And, he actually apologises for leaving her to have to manage it by herself.

(Matt … apologising … and meaning it … blimey!)

The asparagus is overcooked!

Martyn’s  dining at the Golf Club. He’s with Nicholas and Gemma, who are “business associates and friends”.

(Martyn has friends? One doubts that …)

Anyhoo – Martyn wants perfect service while he and his ‘friends’ are dining.

Which, of course, is a cheek. He knows full well from Kathy that perfect service is far from what the Golf Club can offer, considering the lack of staff Martyn’s making her endure.

The only thing Martyn found to complain about was the asparagus being a touched overcooked.

But, Kathy’s far from happy. She tells Martyn about their chef:

[Kathy] “Chefs had enough. He’s resigned.”

And he’s leaving at the end of the week, rather than giving two weeks’ notice.

[Kathy] “I can’t honestly say I’m surprised, after all the staff problems …”

[Martyn] “No no no, let’s be clear who’s responsibility this is. Who hired this Gethan in the first place? … If you pick staff who are going to have a hissy fit … given your lamentable managerial skills …”

He tells her to call an Agency for another chef. She’s flabbergasted to hear she can actually hire one.

[Martyn] “Let’s try and get something right this time. Pleeeeeease.”

What a twit.

The Conservation Officer’s causing trouble

Despite all of Lewis and Elizabeth’s careful planning and drawings, seems the Conservation Officer won’t support their planning application.

Something to do with roof windows not being to the “original agricultural character”.

[David] “All this fuss over a couple of extra roof windows.”

[Lewis] “I’m doing my best to help her keep a sense of perspective.”


Sense of perspective???

Good luck with that, Lewis.

Anthea’s here to stay

[Lilian] “I had Anthea to help.”

[Matt] “ She terrifies me … she looked at me like a cobra waiting to strike!”

But, Lilian insists she’s good at her job, and has been invaluable.

So, Matt reckons they’ll need to keep her permanently.

[Matt] “Yeah. I’ll just have to watch me step. And I do have some practise in dealing with strong women.”

[Lilian] “Oh my Tiger, it’s so good to have you back.”

[Matt] “Believe me Puss, it’s good to be home.

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