Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Take your Mistress to work day – Wed 11.09.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Wednesday 11th September 2013
  • Jolene and Kenton’s go 1950s style
  • Why would the link only work on a laptop?
  • Lilian summarises Ambridge Extra
  • Why was Rob waiting for Helen outside the pub?
  • Kenton’s spotted Darrell
  • Helen admires the Super Dairy
  • Dmitry was a demi-god

Jolene and Kenton’s go 1950s style

Fallon has been inspired by Jolene’s dress. She reckons they should have a 1950s theme to their wedding.

Jolene loves it!

But, they mean 1950s with a 1930s/1940s swing style theme (which seemingly had a huge revival in the 1950s … keeping up? Neither was I … )

[Fallon] “Lots of smooch dances.”

And, Fallon just happens to know a chap who plays sax in a swing band.

[Jolene, jesting] “This is all about getting a gig for your mates!”

When Jolene suggests it to Kenton, he also loves it.

But … he’s thinking 1950s as in 1950s … not 1950s with a 1930s/1940s revival … well, why wouldn’t he?

Kenton gets excited about having a rat pack look. Growing his sideburns. Getting hot dog signs, and a jukebox. And a rock n’ roll band. For which, Kenton has the very chap in mind:

[Kenton] “Jonny is great, he’s strictly on the wagon now.”

Fallon has a quiet word with Kenton to put him right.

The gent that he’s now become, Kenton then tells Jolene that he reckons rock n’ roll is actually not a good idea. He thinks swing might be better.

[Kenton] “Forget Johnny Diablo, and let’s swing!”

Ah, that’s sweet.

Why would the link only work on a laptop?

Fallon wanted to show her mate, in the swing band, to Jolene.

But whatever computer she was using wouldn’t show the link. She had to get her laptop.

That’s rather odd …

Lilian summarises Ambridge Extra

[Lilian] “Jolene darling it’s me, I’m back!”

(actually … that was quite sinister …)

So … for Jolene (and those of you who didn’t eavesdrop in on Matt et al in Russia), Lilian does her best to tell what happened in Ambridge Extra:

[Lilian] “Some of it’s nasty indeed, and best forgotten … A complicated property deal, and it was much more complicated that he at first thought … The long and the short of it is he ended up losing a lot of money.”

And that she made matters worse.

[Lilian] “And it was Brenda who put me right. I think he may have enjoyed his revenge.”

And that Matt realised she was in danger, and tried to protect her.

(understand what happened now … nope? Not surprised. Just click this link for the blow-by-blow account)

[Jolene] “So you two, you’re okay together now?”

[Lilian] “We’re stronger, maybe. He came to save me Jolene … he gave up the money, for me, just like that. he was a real hero. And I think he really believes that I love him now, and I never stopped loving him.”

[Jolene] “And he never stopped loving you.”

[Lilian] “I’m lucky, aren’t I?”

I suppose now.

Even though Matt’s is now more financially dependent on you than ever. And it was all his own (stupid) fault.

Why was Rob waiting for Helen outside the pub?

Helen doesn’t exactly frequent The Bull on a regular basis.

Bu he did find her there today. Much to Helen’s delight.

[Helen] “You are daring, aren’t you!”

And the kiss. In public.

Very daring.

Anyhoo – Rob still can’t take time off, so he suggests Helen come with him to work.

As always, Helen is always more than happy to do Rob’s biding.

Kenton’s spotted Darrell

[Kenton] “There he goes again. Darrell, sneaking out the gents.”

Both Kenton and Fallon feel ever so sorry for him.

So of course, they offer him a bed …

… just joking.

Course they didn’t.


Helen admires the Super Dairy

Rob’s showing Helen around the Super Dairy.

That they milk 200 cows an hour:

[Helen] “Gosh yes, that’s a lot of cows …”

[Rob] “So, um, I hope you’re just a  tiny bit impressed?”

[Helen] “Yes, yes of course. It’s all so big and, erm, efficient, and there’s some lovely looking cows.”

[Rob] “But?”

[Helen] “I don’t know. I suppose I watched my and dad slaving away all those years to build up our herd, now you’ve got this massive setup from scratch. It just doesn’t feel right somehow … like going to a garden centre and creating a huge vegetable garden overnight … it’s all amazing, of course it is, I can see you’ve worked really hard.”

What an odd situation.

Rob sounds like a wee boy who just wants to be praised.

Helen is giving him that, while obviously suppressing her natural urge to hate everything about the Super Dairy.

[Rob] “Look up, and there’s a roof, not sky, but it never rains in here.”

Well, at least they both agree that dairy cows don’t particularly like getting wet. But Helen’s obviously uncomfortable.

[Rob] “If you’d rather we kept my job out of it …”

But Rob doesn’t get a chance to get an answer.

Helen drags him into a storage room for a snog.

[Helen] “Rob, listen to me, it’s okay. You don’t have to keep justifying what you do … maybe it’s not for me, and maybe we’ll never  agree on things, but it’s been great to see you at work. It’s a whole different side to you.”

They again snog.

[Helen] “It’s amazing what you’ve done here. And I can see your staff have a real respect for you … after all, you’re a pretty wonderful guy.”

And there it is, ladies and gentleman.

As long as Rob’s a nice guy (and a good lay, one would imagine), Helen can praise the very antithesis of her own family farm.

Dmitry was a demi-god

Well, at least Lilian seems to be putting him up there.

[Lilian] “Dmitry, think long haired, sexy and thoroughbred, like Nureyev in his prime. Lucky Brenda, eh?”

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