Friday 13 September 2013

Josh snogs a gorgeous girl – Fri 13.09.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Friday 13th September 2013
  • The cows enjoy modern pop
  • Berrow Farm
  • Was it a wild party?
  • Mrs Shen made Magda cry
  • Ray buses in auld yins
  • David has TWO glasses of wine
  • Lynda covers for Ray


The cows enjoy modern pop


[David] “First time lucky?”

[Ruth] “Not, she’s just a clever girl.”

[David] “Maybe the background music helped. If she’s into techno dub, or whatever it is.”

(I wouldn’t have a clue either, David)

Seems Josh is having his birthday party at Rickyard, while David and Ruth get on with the calving.

More the party later …


Berrow Farm

Is the new name for the Super Dairy.

[Ruth] “Trying to make that huge agro industrial complex sound like a cosy family setup … I don’t feel quite ready to be best friends just yet.”

Though Ruth does admit that Rob’s help with the calving was invaluable.


Was it a wild party?

Not quite.

Though lots of cars and kids kept turning up, all seemed to be very well behaved.

[Ruth] “Just put your head round the door, make sure it’s all under control.”

But David reckons they can trust Josh to keep his word.

Later on, all the music suddenly stops. Which makes Ruth and David rather suspicious.

So, David does go over to have a look.

[David] “The back door was open wide, so I went into the kitchen … no one was being sick or flat out on the floor, so I went and out my head into the sitting room … and there was Josh sitting on the sofa witth tbhis very gorgeous looking girl having a full on snog … just a little bit awkward to say the least!”

[Ruth, laughting] “Josh, snogging!”

[David] “That’s all it was … But they were really going for it.”

By this point, Ruth is ending herself with laughter. Seems Josh and this girl were so engrossed, David didn’t even get to see who she was.

[David] “Sit down, it’ll be fine. Whatever they’re up to, I suggest we leave them to it.”

(Here’s hoping David and Ruth have given Josh ‘that’ talk properly …)


Mrs Shen made Magda cry

Lynda is having to work late at Grey Gables. Ray randomly gave Katarina the night off.

(actually, we haven’t heard how bookings went at Ambridge Hall this year)

Seems it’s a trying time (again). Mrs Shen was rude to Magda:

[Lynda] “The poor girl was in floods … She does seem to be the most appalling woman, no manners at all.”

Mrs Shen even has the cheek to demand new towels, twice a day! Does she no care about the planet?

[Lynda] “The customer is always right, no matter how monstrous they are …”

(nope, the customer is not always right. The trick is to make them think they’re getting what they ask for)

Ray certainly seems to believe in being nice to Mrs Chen. He’s been in the Bistro with her all day.

[Lynda] “And where’s Mr Chen, I wonder …”

But, for a travel journalist, it’s odd that Lynda couldn’t find a trace of her online.

[Lynda] “Beneath all that oriental glamour, I’m sure she’s not as young as she’d like to pretend …”

How all very strange.

So .. .she’s not a journalist. What is she then? Just an old pal of Ray’s?


Ray buses in auld yins

Lynda thought she’d found a way to get rid of the Mexican evening. Lack of bookings (only 12 so far).

But, Ray’s been taking bookings without putting them on the system.

[Ray] “Relax, stay calm, all is going to be well .. .what about the group I booked in last, oh, um … the old codgers group, or whatever it’s called … 45 of them …  Keep up that search for the piñata.”

It gets worse. Ray has also:

[Ray] “Booked a genuine Mexican marietta band … Lynda, are you alright?”

No. No she’s not.


David has TWO glasses of wine


He reckons it’s a risk, but one worth taking … he doesn’t have to do the milking tomorrow.

Rock n’ roll, mon ami!


Lynda covers for Ray

Oliver calls Lynda to check all is well, and to tell her how wonderful their holiday is. Caroline is well and truly relaxed.

Lynda tells his everything is just perfect at Grey Gables.

[Oliver] “You’re quite sure about that  … don’t be afraid to tell me.”

[Lynda] “Ray’s been, well, marvellous. Yes, very cheerful and charming and enthusiastic and good with the guests … she mustn’t worry at all.”

I suppose Lynda was covering for Caroline’s sake more than Ray’s.

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