Tuesday, 10 September 2013

The Church won’t help Darrell – Tues 10.09.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Tuesday 10th September 2013
  • Neil tries to help Darrell
  • Alan can’t help Darrell
  • Ray corrects Lynda
  • Mrs Shen wants magazines
  • The Hamiltons have gone elsewhere
  • Lynda has to find a piñata

Neil tries to help Darrell

Neil spots Darrell:

[Neil] “You been here all night … in the playground. You have, haven’t you?”

Darrell tries to claim his mate gave him a lift in, but Neil’s not having it:

[Neil] “Look at the state of you, you must have been half frozen … you can’t carry on dossing around like this.”

(and actually, isn’t it a tad inappropriate to sleep in a playground?)

Darrell escapes as soon as he can. Claiming he can’t stand around “gassing”.

Later on, Neil spots Darrell using the toilets in The Bull. He makes him stay for half a pint.

[Neil] “No more tall stories.”

Neil manages to get Darrell to tell him that he’s had trouble at the Elms.

[Darrell] “They don’t like the look of my face.”

[Neil] “You can’t go on like this … At this rate you’ll end up under a flyover with smackheads and winos … You’ve had some bad luck, a few back breaks that’s all. It could happen to any of us.”

Neil reckons Darrell should  try the Elms again, or get in touch with Elona.

[Darrell] “I don’t want Elona to see me like this, I don’t want her to pity me.”

Darrell best drop the ego sooner rather than later.

Alan can’t help Darrell

[Alan] “As Shula pointed out, we’re raising all this cash for the organ, and there’s blokes like him sleeping on the streets.”

Shula can’t understand why Darrell’s sleeping outside, rather than at the Elms.

[Alan] “The shelter may be warm and dry, but it can have its downside. At least round here, he must feel he’s back on his home patch.”

And, he’d be closer to Rosa.


The bad news is that Alan reckons the Church can’t give Alan any money.

[Alan] “It causes too many problems .. .the sad fact is we’d have queues on our doorstep.”

Shula can’t agree. She can’t reconcile the Church raising £24,000 for the organ with Darrell’s predicament. Shula reckons their priorities should be far different.

But, while Alan agrees with that to an extent, he thinks the best thing they can do for Darrell is to keep an eye out for him. Be there, when he’s ready to talk.

[Alan] “It’s obvious he’s in desperate need for proper emotional support … I think that’s the best we can do for now.”


Ray corrects Lynda

[Ray] “Lynda, that look would have stopped a charging Rhino at fifty paces!”

He tells her that as she’s the face of Grey Gables, she should be a tad more welcoming. Facially.

She tells him she’s doing the rotas. An onerous, frustrating yet essential job.

One that he should actually be doing …

Mrs Shen wants magazines

Fashion magazines. Four of them. To be exact.

Lynda spent a fair amount of time arranging them. And Ray wouldn’t hear of Mrs Shen paying a delivery charge.

Seems Mrs Shen also ordered scrambled eggs and salmon at 10.30am, then sent it back as it was cold.

How very dare she!

(actually, that sounds fair enough to me. Unless they’ve explicitly detailed that scrambled eggs and smoked salmon will be served cold)

Now that his food has been insulted, Ian’s at the point where he’s wondering if they should tell Caroline what’s going on.

Lynda won’t hear of it.

Oh dear.

The Hamiltons have gone elsewhere

[Lynda] “Ray, just for your information, you remember the Hamilton’s … they’ve decided to cut their stay short and book into another hotel.”

[Ray] “Have they? Problem solved then.”

Um, Ray’s slightly missing the point on that one.

He’s also just as unperturbed that Mariana (the Health Club Manager) has resigned. And that work is piling up in his in-tray.

[Ian] “How’s it going up on the flight deck?”

[Lynda] “It’s beyond a joke Ian. While he’s so busy glad-handing and smooching with the guests, guess who is being left to do all of the real work … it’s as if all this important day to day administration is far too dull and tedious.”

Ray isn’t even taking up the luggage when he shows guests to his rooms.

That’s also left to Lynda.

Lynda has to find a piñata

Ray’s heard that Lynda is a:

[Ray] “Leading light of your local amateur dramatic society.”

So, he wants her to source the costumes for the Mexican night.

(has there ever been a Mexican themed play, or even panto, in Ambridge?)

On top of that, Ray has tasked Lynda with finding a piñata. And a prize for the guest with the best moustache.

Unbelievably, Lynda doesn’t mutter a word of dissent.

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