The Archers Sunday 27th November 2011: Pat reckons there’s no doubt … John had a son

• Is there a fashion for sprouts on stalks?
• Pat’s obsessed
• Squealing not squabbling
• Pat … pushy?
• No Smoking zone around the weaners
• First Sunday in advent
• Neil stands up to Lynda
• Lynda can squeeze in a lusty …
• Was there a point to Neil’s keys?
• Seeing is believing for Tony

Is there a fashion for sprouts on stalks?

Would seem so, going by Tony.

He’s a happy chappy as it saves him having to strip them off.


Pat’s obsessed (part 1)

Sharon’s number has been “burning a hole” in Pat’s pocket since she got it from Susan. But she hasn’t called her. Yet.

[Pat] “To think there could be a part of John living on in Rich, it’s so … oh, all the years I’ve yearned for him Tony, and now it’s so tantalising”

[Tony] “I knew this would happen, that this restlessness would overtake you, I’d have advised against asking Susan for the number in the first if you’d bothered to consult me”

[Pat] “Aren’t you in the least bit curious about him?”

[Tony] “No. No I’m not … I think it’s best all round if you tear it up and forget all about it, then we can just get on with our lives”

[Pat] “I can’t … I really would like to phone Sharon, at least that I’d, we’d, be one step nearer knowing either way, can’t you see that … think of it Tony, the reward …”

[Tony] “The heartache …”

[Pat] “This boy could be our own flesh and blood, our grandson”

[Tony] “Please love. You’ve got no idea where it could lead”

Squealing not squabbling

Susan thinks Neil’s pigs sound like they’ve never been fed.

But Neil is more than content.

[Neil] “I’m enjoying the peace and quiet too much … their squealing is music to my ears, believe me, compared to Brad and Chelsea squabbling”

Later on, Neil reckons he spends the worst two hours of his life when he’s left alone with the kids.
There were doors banging. Yelling. AND taunting.

[Neil] “They know I haven’t got any authority over them, you see”

Pat … pushy?

Never.

Susan is wondering (and worrying) if Pat has called Sharon. Neil doesn’t want to know nor cares.
Susan is worried that Sharon will be angry with her rather than Pat:

[Susan] “Pat has this way about her sometimes … pushy”

But Neil tells Susan to let it go.

Maybe he and Tony should get together to gang up on their womenfolk.


No Smoking zone around the weaners

Neil being unhappy about the Tracey plus brood invasion is going a tad too far for Susan.

He’s complaining that though Tracey claims she has money problems, she still seems to be able to afford fags.

[an indignant Neil] “She was smoking out her by the weaners yesterday, I’m not having that!”

[Susan] “She’s my little sister Neil, don't judge her”

First Sunday in advent

Blimey.

I agree with Lynda. That has come round fast.

It’ll soon be time for Jennifer to panic about being late with her Christmas cards, which makes me panic, though she’s always 2 weeks ahead of final posting (damn her!).

At St Stephens:

[Lynda] “Lead, Kindly Night, such a marvellous hymn”

Alan says it’s also Mabel’s favourite.

And wee Mia got to light the first candle.

[Alan] “’Cept I thought she was going to set fire to my surplus when she dropped the taper”

[Lynda] “Well at least you let her near a living flame and not a glostick … it make me feel all Christmassy”

And to top it all – the Christmas day service is back at St Stephens this year.

Lovely.


Neil stands up to Lynda

Lynda was asking Susan (and Tracey) to help her with the food for Christmas around the World.

[Lynda] “It could be a nice bonding experience for the pair of you, as sisters”

Nice try Lynda – but Neil steps in to say no. Quite firmly. He tells Lynda that Susan has enough to cope with.

[Lynda] “Gosh Susan, what an advocate … well you can see I had to try”

Once Lynda’s gone.

[Neil] “She’s got the sensitivity of a rhinoceros!”

Lynda can squeeze in a lusty …

… baritone.

Though I’m not sure she should have referred to Alan in that way to his face.

Lynda is planning to “hide the weaker acts in the middle” of the show.

(That’ll be Jim, then)

Though she is delighted that Mabel has offered (through Alan) to read a Jamaican poem. And Mabel has also offered to make gallons of Sorrel. Though it’ll be of the non-alcoholic variety.


Was there a point to Neil’s keys?

Neil left his keys at the bottom of the bell tower.

So Alan brought them back.

Did I miss the point of that?


Seeing is believing for Tony

Tony comes across Pat in the bedroom. On the laptop. Being very defensive that he caught her.

[Pat] “Can’t I have any privacy?”

[Tony] “It’s my bedroom too”

Pat fesses up that she’s been trying to find Kylie’s Facebook page.

[Pat] “If there’s a photograph of Rich out there, I’ve got to see it. I’ve got to know”

So Pat’s obsession has now extended to online stalking.

And Tony now joins in to help her look.

[Tony] “Your hand is shaking”

But they find Kylie quite quickly. She can’t have her privacy settings set very high as they’re able to see all of her photos.

They spot a family one. With her brother in it. And Tony even knows how to enlarge it so that they can see it properly.

(what’s Tony been doing online?)

[Pat] “Oh my god … look at him. He’s the exact image of John”

[Tony] “I can’t believe it …”

[Pat] “There’s no doubt Tony. John had a son!”

Double blimey!

Is he that like John, or is Pat and Tony seeing what they want to believe?