- Derek Fletcher is being inappropriate. Again.
- Lynda isn’t inspirational
- Two heads are better than one
- The analysis of Peggy’s birthday lunch
- Susan stepping into Ivy’s shoes
- Caroline saves Christmas
- Pat’s counting back 13 years …
Derek Fletcher is being inappropriate. Again.
[Lynda] “No. No Derek. I’m not questioning your talent or your ability to entertain. It would just be quite inappropriate … that has to be my final answer”
Lynda comes off the phone as Caroline walks up (looks like Lynda is working on Christmas around the World while at work. Cheeky)
[Lynda] “That was Derek Fletcher. He wants to be a Chinese magician”
[Caroline, confused] “He does?”
[Lynda] “Yes. For Christmas around the world. I mean, can you imagine it, Derek, dressed up in a pigtail and a dressing gown and pulling handkerchiefs out of a top hat”
[Caroline] “Well, it’s hardly original I suppose”
[Lynda] “Well it’s not just that. Supposing you were a person of Chinese extraction sitting in the audience … Caroline, this show is meant to be pay tribute to the rich diversity of international culture, not poke fun at crude national stereotypes. Just try explaining that to Derek Fletcher … he was quite rude on the phone. Even accused me of favouritism!”
And poor Lynda starts crying.
Lynda isn’t inspirational
[Lynda] “I was hoping to tap the talent of the local community, but it’s just not happening … this show just hasn’t inspired people the way my productions normally do”
It’s because it’s not a panto, Lynda. It’s not a panto!
Why try something different at a time of year when we all tend to like traditional stuff that makes us feel a bit warm and fuzzy? Even if it is generally obvious and clichéd.
Two heads are better than one
According to Tom.
[Tom] “Two heads, you know. Especially when the other one’s Brenda”
Hmmm. That’s questionable.
But Pat and Tony seems happy enough to leave them to it. They’re off to visit a brand guru to sort out Bridge Farm’s rebrand to Ambridge Organics.
Which is a surprise, considering what Tom’s been like to date.
Mind you, he did point out the obvious to Pat about making more of their Christmas pudding ice cream at this time of year … so maybe Pat and Tony do need Tom and Brenda to state the obvious to them.
The analysis of Peggy’s birthday lunch
[Tom] “It was fine mum. I mean there was no actual violence. And gran seemed to have a great time, that’s all that matters”
Indeedy.
Susan stepping into Ivy’s shoes
Seems Susan is still doing Bert and Gary’s cooking.
That doesn’t please Neil. Susan reckons they’re both still mourning, but so is Susan.
Neil then saw Gary out feeding the ducks. And reckons that if he has time to feed the ducks:
[Neil] “Can’t he at least do something to feed him and Bert?”
Neil is worried about Gary and Bert becoming as dependent on Susan as they had been on Ivy.
And so far, she’s giving them every reason to be.
Caroline saves Christmas
(well, The Christmas Show is all Caroline saved. Technically)
Still distraught over her increasingly alarm that Christmas around the World will be rubbish, Lynda is trying all sorts:
[Lynda] “I thought some vigorous exercise might be good for my soul”
(blimey – what a picture that paints!)
But hurrah for Caroline!
She suggests food. To have food from around the world – as a sort of smorgasbord – and make the concert into more of a camembert. With wee tables rather than theatre style.
[Lynda] “You’ve unblocked my creative flow!”
Lynda starts wittering on about turkey and cranberry bites, sauerkraut and sausages, samosas, spring rolls and:
[Lynda] “A wonderful Norwegian recipe for little Christmas sausages”
Which she ropes Tom into making.
Lynda takes Caroline’s suggestion one step further. That the performers can sit with the audience and eat, to create a relaxed ambiance.
[Lynda, to Caroline] “It was sheer inspiration. You have saved our Christmas show!”
Pat’s counting back 13 years …
Pat was making a point of saying to Susan that she’d really enjoyed meeting Kylie.
As they’re chatting about how nice Kylie is, Susan mentioned that Kylie has a brother. Who is a teenager.
Pat’s surprised to hear that (Kylie hadn’t mentioned her brother Rick). And her ears particularly seemed to prick up at the mention of his age.
She later corners Susan to ask a bit more.
[Pat] “And Kylie’s brother Rich, you say he’s a teenager … 13? …right?”
So.
John Archer died 25th February 1998.
John has always had a thing for Sharon, even before he’d been seeing Hayley. He cheated on Hayley with Sharon.
And not long after all of that, John died.
So.
John died 13 years ago. Rich is 13.
John = Rich’s dad?
Certainly seems to be what Pat is thinking.
Odds on for John to be exhumed before Christmas?
2 comments:
So Henry might not be Pat and Tony's first grandchild. Now that would put Helen's nose out of joint. Though personally I think it might be a long shot. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I don't think John was the only person Sharon slept with 13 years ago!
Fair point. Sharon was hardly a shay lass! If he is John's, Helen might revert back to Hellin and Tom will be oh so peed off.
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