Thursday, 23 May 2013

Ambride-ifying the Highland Games: Thurs 23.05.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Thursday 23rd May 2013
  • Peggy and Jill, on biscuits
  • Jill’s a PR guru
  • Tom’s shoe lace broke
  • The skittle team won’t be partaking
  • Jill’s averse to adults eating sweets
  • The Highland games, watered down for Ambridge
  • Kenton and Jill judge David
  • Poor Darrell
  • Elona and Peggy have to part
  • Peggy’s grandchildren’s love life makes her sad

Peggy and Jill, on biscuits

They are enjoying he biscuits Peggy bought.

Though Peggy reckons they’re just as nice as the “expensive ones” Lilian buys her.

My word – it’s been months since Peggy and Lilian had that chat about expensive biscuits.

Peggy really isn’t one to let go …

Jill’s a PR guru

Well, she’s trying to be. For the Flower Festival.

She has posters, it’s on the village website. And she’s contacted the media.

Maybe she’s missed her calling in life?

She certainly sounds better at it then Brenda ‘I’ve got a degree in marketing’ Tucker.

Tom’s shoe lace broke

On his way to his presentation with the ready meal buyer.


But the shop had the right ones in stock.

Disaster averted!

After his presentation, he pops round to see Peggy.

[Peggy] “Did your lace hold up?”

Yes it did.


The skittle team won’t be partaking

Back on the subject of the Flower festival:

[Jill] “Any luck persuading the skittle team to take part?”

[Kenton] “Well, they weren’t exactly bowled over .. .you’ve still got the darts team.”

(that Kenton .. always ready with a quip)

Jill’s averse to adults eating sweets

Kenton’s buying ‘childish’ chocolate. Seems he remembered it from his childhood, and had a craving to get some. Jill served him at the shop:

[Jill] “Please don’t walk down the street eating it.”

[Kenton] “It’ll remain a secret vice mum …”

[Jill] “You’re making it worse now!”

[Kenton] “Sorry.”

One would think Jill would be rather more accustomed, and resigned to, Kenton’s ways.

But having a problem with him eating a kid’s chocolate bar?

Taking it too far this time, I reckon.

The Highland games, watered down for Ambridge

Ahead of tonight’s fete meeting, Kenton’s been doing his research on Highland Games.

[Kenton] “I have lots of ideas on how to Ambridge-ify them.”

[Jill] “Ambridge-ify? Is that a word?”

[Kenton] “Of course it is. It’s in the encyclopaedia-ambridgica.”

[Jill] “Sometimes, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about Kenton.”

[Kenton] “Jolene says much the same.”

Later on, Jazzer arrives early to the meeting to find Lynda there already, reading Austen.

[Lynda] “I was just revisiting Pemberley. And what might have been.”

[Jazzer] “Aye well, democracy and that.”

[Lynda] “Yes, we must accept the will of the people. No matter how misguided.”

(could you imagine if Lynda ever got into politics? *shudder*)

The meeting is at Lynda’s house.

[Lynda] “Is you beer alright Jazzer?”

[Jazzer] “I’m really a lager man, bit it’ll dae.”

(he actually can be quite rude sometimes, that Jazzer)

Anyhoo – down to business:

[Jazzer] “We’ve got to have the pipes. They’re essential.”

[Lynda] “O god!”

Kenton then outlines his plans for how to “downsize” the Highland Games for an Ambridge palate.

[Kenton] “When it comes to tossing the caber, I thought we could have tossing the fence post.”

[Jazzer] “Is that no a bit wussy?”

[Jill] “You can hardly expect people to throw telegraph poles around!”

[Jazzer] “Aye, but could we no get a mini caber. Something was a bit of oomph tae it.”

[Jill] “We really want this to be an inclusive day … can’t just be events that only a body builder could enter.”

So Kenton suggests they have one size for adults, another for kids.

(Lynda’s not happy with any of it, by the way).

For the stone put:

[Kenton] “We just use stones of any size.”

[Jazzer] “We’re no talking about pebbles, are we?”

[Kenton] “Just one that someone like me could pick up.”

Lynda’s had enough, and interrupts. She thinks they’re concentrating too much on the competitive side of the Highland Games.

[Jazzer] “It’s the Highland Games. If you took away the competition, it’d just be blokes chucking stuff about you can get that every other night in Borchester!”

[Lynda] “But there are other traditional elements too. Dancing demonstrations .”

[Kenton] “Oh aye, even the lassies can do them.”

[Jill] “I’d hate to think the women were restricted to dancing, surely they could enter for the heavy sports too, now they’re not so heavy.”

Good point, well made.

The women of Ambridge will have their own competition class.

Kenton then suggests they could do ‘toss the handbag’ rather than the kettle throw:

[Jazzer] “You’re tripping!”

[Lynda] “Kenton really, I don’t think you're taking this seriously.”

Erm, it actually sounds like he absolutely is.

Lynda needs to get over herself and muck in. Jazzer needs to stop being such a pedant.

Kenton and Jill judge David

And find him a bit wanting …

Kenton had heard David was “playing the stern father”. He reckons David’s wrong (now, there’s a surprise!), as P:ip must have a car to get to Uni.

[Jill] “I agree. Although she needs to cut her coat according to her cloth.”

Kenton reminds Jill that David crashed the van while at College. And they agree that we all do daft things when youngsters.

[Jill] “And when they’re not so young, Kenton …”

[Kenton] “Ah, but we’re talking about David and Pip mum. Not about me.”

Poor Darrell

As much as I think Darrell deserves every bit of bad luck coming to him after helping out a dog fighting ring, I am starting to feel a bit sorry for him.

He is, after all, a simple creature. About to be abandoned by his family.

Today, the poor chap was beyond grateful that Elona brought him a glass of juice while he was mowing the law.

[Darrell] “Thanks Elona. That’s very nice of you.”

[Elona] “It’s just a  cold drink.”

Elona also offers to do some clothes washing for him. He asks for just a sheet, to go along with his sleeping bag (he must be sleeping in the living room).

Seems Elona has been offered a job in Borchester. With accommodation. Which means the girls can still get to school, Rosa can still work with Mike BUT they’ll obviously be moving from Ambridge, and she won’t be able to work for Peggy anymore.

She tells Peggy before she tells Darrell.

When she does, she also drops the bombshell that she’s giving Amside a month’s notice on their house.

[Darrell] “Right, I better start looking for a place on my own then.”

Yup, poor chap.

Sounds like he was hoping this would all just blow over.

Elona and Peggy have to part

[Elona] “I feel very bad about leaving you.”

[Peggy] “I can’t see how you have much choice.”

[Elona] “I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”

[Peggy] “And I’m grateful for everything you've done for Jack at the Laurels. You always had a lovely way with him … I’m just sorry it didn’t work out for you in Ambridge. And with Darrell.”

Peggy’s grandchildren’s love life makes her sad

After telling Peggy that his presentation went well (he’ll get a decision in the next few days), he reckons he’s now got nothing to go home to.

So, Peggy offers him supper. Not that’s what he was fishing for (aye right!).

[Peggy] “I’m sure there’s something I could put in an omelette … That’s two of you feeling lonely.”

Tom was about to launch into how Helen is nothing like him, as Jonathan wasn’t even her boyfriend …

[Peggy] “I think she was quite upset by it.”


Sometimes it’s the relationships that didn’t even get going which are harder to get over the ones that lasted for years.

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