Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Jonathan dumps Helen: Wed 22.05.13 #thearchers

The Archers  Wednesday 22nd May 2013
  • Helen’s still stalking Jonathan
  • We didn’t have to hear all of Tom’s presentation
  • Still laughing at Brian
  • David gets confused between tea and coffee
  • The Phil Archers get competitive
  • Ruth’s backing down

Helen’s still stalking Jonathan

Poor Helen. She really has no shame …

She’s been trying to get hold of Jonathan again. She only gets his voicemail.

[Helen] “Hi Jono,  it’s Helen again. You’re a busy chap, aren’t you? I haven’t seen you for a while, but I’m doing a cheese delivery near the swimming pool  … give me a ring, if you can.”


Not to be deterred (or take a hint), Helen calls again. This time, Jonathan answers.

Seems he can’t meet her, as he’s finished the job at the swimming pool. He’s now at a new job on an estate.

[Helen] “Where’s that?”

[Jonathan] “You wouldn’t know it.”

But, she does. And says she can be there in 10 minutes.

[Jonathan] “Helen, the thing is, I’m sorry but I don’t think we should see each other again. Are you still there?”

[Helen] “Yup, I haven’t gone anywhere.”

[Jonathan] “There’s this girl, I went out with her a while back for quite a while, but she broke it off and the guy she was going out with, well that’s ended now. Well I really liked her, and am hoping we can get back together now.”

[Helen] “Mmm …”

[Jonathan] “You’re a really nice person and I wouldn’t want to give you the wrong impression. Wouldn’t want to lead you on. I hope you understand.”

[Helen] “Yes. I understand. Very clearly.”

[Jonathan] “We had fun, didn’t we?”

[Helen] “Yes, it was great.”

[Jonathan] “So, see you around maybe?”

[Helen] “Probably not. But have a nice life.”

[Jonathan] “Yes, and you.”

When off the phone:

[Helen] “Damn!”

Well, at least Jonathan didn’t keep Helen hanging on for too long. She’d have never realised he was no longer interested, if he hadn’t spelt it out.

So, Helen heads to the pub with Emma.

[Emma] “So, what’s up?”

[Helen] “Well, the headline is that Jono and I are no longer an item … as if we ever were, I’m not sure.”

[Emma] “So what happened?”

[Helen] “I was what happened … he dumped me today, he tried to let me down gently with a fairy story about some old girlfriend, but I know what it really was .. I scared him off … believe me.”

[Emma] “I thought It was going really well.”

[Helen] “I felt for the first time I could really open up to him, tell him more about myself … he asked me about Henry’s father, I couldn’t stop, I could see him getting more and more panicky and trying to hide it … I should never have told him how Henry was conceived.”

[Emma] “Yeah, maybe it was a bit early to tell him that.”

[Helen] “I just didn’t want it to be a big secret. If we were going to get more, intimate,. And after that he just went all quiet on me. Nothing on the phone, nothing on Facebook. And rather than take it on the chin, I kept sending him sending him texts and leaving him voicemails …”

[Emma] “Ow!”

[Helen] “And it ended up today with me practically stalking him …”

[Emma] “Ow!!! Helen!!!”

[Helen] “Okay, it wasn’t quite as bad as that but it was still embarrassing.”

[Emma] “Well, it was his loss. At least you were getting out there … call him a practice boyfriend. There’s plenty more where he came from. Honestly Helen.”

Well, at least our Helen is back to her sense.

But “plenty more where he came from”? In Ambridge?? Not really … That was probably Helen’s only chance for another few years to come.

Not that she really blew it. She was just being honest.

We didn’t have to hear all of Tom’s presentation

Thank god for that!

He wanted to practice with Helen (Tony and Pat are too stressed, and aren’t exactly 100% behind him). When he started, I thought we’d have to sit through the whole thing.

Thankfully, someone turned the secret microphones off at that point.


Still laughing at Brian

[Ruth] “The main photo makes him look like some sort of Dickensian villain!”

And seems though Jennifer bought up all of the copies of Borchester Life in the village shop, Jim just ordered more in.

Cheeky Jim.

David gets confused between tea and coffee

Seems Ruth brings him a flask while he’s out silaging, but David takes a while to work out whether she’s given him tea of coffee.

Maybe Ruth could just say, when she hands it over?

Just a thought.

The Phil Archers get competitive

[Ruth] “Hot news, you’re going to have a bit of a family competition in the single wicket.”

[David] “Yes, I know. Josh has already threatened to trash me. But if his cricket is as rudimentary as his sledging, I’ve nothing to fear.”

[Ruth] “No, not Josh. Pip!”

Seems Alistair persuaded Pip to sign up, due to a server shortage of women competitors.

[Ruth] “But Pip didn’t seem interested until he said Josh was taking part.”

[David] “Following Josh’s example. I wish she would in other ways …”

Wonder why Ruth doesn’t go in for it?

Ruth’s backing down

Ruth tells David she’s not happy that he’s being so harsh to Pip. Well, that both of them are being harsh in not giving her the money for  a car.

[David] “I don’t know where she’s got this idea that at 20 years old, she’s got the right to drive around in a new luxury car.”

[Ruth] “Come on, that’s not the sort of thing she’s looking for. I do agree with you she needs to set her sights lower, but to say she has to do it all herself while we’re helping Josh.”

Ruth reckons Pip just wanted a loan. As Josh had asked for.

[David] “It’s the way she said it.”

[Ruth] “I know. I just find it a bit hard to justify.”

Odds on Ruth slowly wearing down David, and Pip gets the money.

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