Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Tony shouts at Brian – Tues 28.05.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Tuesday 28th May 2013
  • Tony tells Brian what’s what
  • Brian wants, Brian gets
  • Brian’s turn to do the caravans
  • Rob impresses Adam
  • German and Hungarian Heifers
  • Tony will have to put a cheery face on it
  • Those churns are worth £40!
  • Tony shouts at Jennifer
  • Jennifer won’t go to Shula’s drinks

Tony tells Brian what’s what

Brian happened by Bridge farm to tell Tony what to do.

Seems no-one was still helping Jenny find a home help for Peggy.

[Brian] “Jenny is getting a bit frazzled about your mother, and Lilian seems to be in a world of her own at the moment … I think she could do with a bit more help from the rest of the family … I still think most of the pressure is falling on her shoulders at the moment.”

[Tony] “Oh, I get it. You’re worried she won’t have as much time for you, to tend for your every need, like you’re used to … you really, really do see yourself as the Squire of Ambridge, don’t you … I thought Jim got you down to a tee!”

[Brian] “I take offence at that.”

[Tony] “Well I take offence at you muscling in where it doesn’t concern you.”

[Brian] “Honestly, I was hoping for a more cooperative attitude, Tony. I’ve always been happy to help out with your family.”

[Tony] “What?”

[Brian] “When Tom’s business was in trouble, who came to his aid?”

[Tony] “Who stole him from us, you mean … you had to wade in and poison his mind with a non-organic option … You’ve always despised what we’re stood for.”

[Brian] “What’s this got to do with your mother?”

[Tony] “It’s got to do with your attitude. Always thinking that you know best.”

[Brian] “Well maybe I do. It wasn’t my business that nearly went to the wall because of poor hygiene.”


[Tony] “And fat lot of help we had from you when that happened,. You'd have been happy to see us go under.”

[Brian] “Tony, this is paranoid nonsense, I came round to have a civilised conversation, I thought we could discuss things amicably, I’m very sad that you’re taking this attitude.”

[Tony] “Well I didn’t ask you to come round.”


That was proper handbags at dawn.

And I can’t help feeling that Tony used Brian’s (actually quite reasonable) request to help Jennifer as an excuse to get off his chest a while host of frustrations with Brian he’d been harbouring for years.

Brian wants, Brian gets

Seems it’s Brian and Jennifer’s anniversary in the next day or so.

Lower Loxley’s Orangery is having a special do tonight. Set menu, classical guitarist, food specially chosen to compliment the Lower Loxley wine.

They are fully booked, but Brian manages to wiggle his way in round Elizabeth.

Ach well.

Jennifer will enjoy it.

Brian’s turn to do the caravans

Jennifer and Adam are still slogging away at the fruit pickers caravans.

Brian announces that he and Jennifer are off out tonight, but she reckons she can’t possibly get ready in time, with all the work she has to do in the caravans.

[Brian] “It won’t take that long, surely?”

[Jennifer] “Brian. You have no idea!”

So, Adam reckons Brian can help while Jennifer gets herself dolled up.

[Adam] “I bet you do mean hospital corners! … You have to shake it Brian. Go on, shake it!”

[Brian] “I am! This is exhausting. How many do you have to do?”

Lot and lots.

Adam also mentions that they have a lot more women than men this year.

[Brian] “Is that wise. Aren’t you likely to get a lot of hassle … with a bevy of young girls on your hands?”

[Adam] “Actually, after last year, I’m expecting much less hassle.”

Is he ever!

No Pavel, no temptation.

Rob impresses Adam

Well, Adam is a sucker for a good bowler.

German and Hungarian Heifers

Is what Rob’s getting for the mega dairy.

Poor cows.

Transported all that way to spend their lives in a shed.

(I’m firmly with Ruth and Pat on this matter, if you hadn’t already guessed)

Tony will have to put a cheery face on it

Alec, from the cow selling people, is at Bridge Farm giving them advice ahead of the sale.

Though he understands how hard this will be for Pat and Tony:

[Alec] “You don’t want to transmit those emotions to the buyers. Show the herd at their very best … it should almost be a mini show. Get people in the mood for spending.”

Seems they will sell their equipment first, then the herd. And Alec is very positive about how the sale of the herd will go. British Friesians getting good price at the moment.

They also need catering, which Tom will sort with his burger van. Seems they can expect 50 to 100 folks to come along.


Those churns are worth £40!

So say Alec.

Seems people use them as planters.

[Tony] “I don’t believe it!”


Joe got a pretty penny, a pint and crisps out of Tony.

Craft auld man that he is.

Tony shouts at Jennifer

After Brian lucked out, Jennifer also happens by Bridge Farm, with home helpers on her mind.

Seems she can’t find anyone. The WI has no idea, neither does anyone else.

(The WI doesn’t know of someone ‘to do’? What is the world coming to?)

[Tony] “Well, what on earth do you want me to do about it?”

[Jennifer] “How about giving me some support finding someone to look after our mother?”

[Tony] “Don’t you realise how busy I am Jennifer? I can hardly do it while milking cows, can I!”

[Jennifer] “Tony, I’m busy too!”

[Tony] “Oh, really … what exactly.”

(aye, we’d all like to know!)

[Jennifer] “Well, never you mind. I just have.”

(she doesn’t know either!)

Jennifer won’t go to Shula’s drinks

[Brian] “What's going on? We’re not doing anything Saturday.”

[Jennifer] “Jim will be there. I can’t bear to be in the same room to him.”

[Brian] “You’ve got to let it go.”

[Jennifer] “I can’t. And I’ve had it up to here with family at the moment.”

Well, at least the family being odd (writing negative articles about Brian, and refusing to help with Peggy) has given Jennifer something to do!

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