It’s different with Pigs 22.03.12

The Archers Thursday 22nd March 2012

• They shouldn’t have laughed at the llamas
• Bartleby’s brass gets a polish
• Usha isn’t gossiping
• Damsons make Joe a happy chappy
• Lilian bosses Brian
• Tony wants to ask Lilian first
• Alan and Usha have an old hot water system
• Green burials are noisy
• At last – someone mentions Shula and Alan
• What about Karl?
• Blondes can be clever sometimes
• James will get Lilian for his birthday present
• Pigs not cows

They shouldn’t have laughed at the llamas

Seems they’re doing a grand work of Alan and Usha’s lawn.

[Usha] “I still do a double take every time I come home and see lamas on the lawn”

[Alan] “They’re doing a fantastic job … best investment I’ve made in a long time!”

So they may have laughed at Lynda offering the llamas during the promise auction, but it’s all worked out right. Which I’m glad about. I thought the Ambridge folks were very cruel to Lynda (apart from Alan, of course).


Bartleby’s brass gets a polish

From Alan, helping Joe out with a random act of kindness for lent.

That’s nice for Bartleby.


Usha isn’t gossiping

When she told Alan about Vicky getting Eddie to work an extra four hours for free.

[Usha] “Not a bit of it. I think to like of it as more of reportage”

Damsons make Joe a happy chappy

He and Jim and co have been planting them in the hedge of the community orchard,

[Alan] “Joe sounded really chuffed seeing his old orchard all restored”

Lilian bosses Brian

Brian’s still worried about farmers abandoning The Mart because of the protestors.

[David] “You know how farmers talk. It’s probably bluster … old habits die hard … they won’t move and miss the chance of meeting up with farmers they’ve know for years”

David moves on elsewhere, but Lilian corners Brian in his place.

[Lilian] “Have you heard these rumours? As an investor, I’m very concerned … people are like sheep., it’ll only take a couple of farmers to go elsewhere and we’ll have a mass exodus!”

[Brian] “That’s arrant nonsense … and in my opinion you’ve being totally irresponsible, racing round like chicken licken saying the sky is going to fall down”

[Lilian] “Get it under control Brian, ASAP, before it gets out of hand!”

Oh Brian won’t like that. Being told by Lilian what to do? No wonder he’s increasingly desperate to find a solution to his Super Dairy woes.


Tony wants to ask Lilian first

All seems to be going very well at Home Farm.

The grass is “bulking out nicely”, according to Tony, which means the cows can get out towards the end of next week.

Tony also agrees with Tom and Pat that they should try and extend their interest free mortgage for another six months. And, he now agrees that Tom should try and get a loan to extend the poly tunnels. Seems it will pay itself back in three years (just like Brookfield’s new dairy system),

But, he wants to ask Lilian first. He doesn’t want to start spending without first paying back the loan she gave them.

So, he and Pat sit down with Lilian to tell her their plans.

[Lilian] “That sounds wonderful, but I can’t for the life why you’re telling me … Oh good grief, darlings. I’m in no hurry for the money … you can pay me once you’re properly back on your feet”

Recession proof, our Lilian is.


Alan and Usha have an old hot water system

So it would seem.

They can’t run the hot water in the kitchen without ruining Amy’s bath.


Green burials are noisy

Alan is getting ready for the first burial at the green burial site.

[Alan] “I’m told wicker coffins are noisy … they creak … wonder if I should warn the family?”

Sounds terrifying!


At last – someone mentions Shula and Alan

It’s Alan himself.

He mentions to Usha that Shula has offered her donkey, Benjamin, for Palm Sunday again. But this time, she’s even offered to look after him herself during the service.

[Usha] “I’m pleased for you”

So, the cold front is indeed warming.


What about Karl?

Something is building about Amy’s new boyfriend (or not, he might just be a mate).

Alan mentioned that Amy had mentioned Karl, but “didn’t say much else”. Alan reckons she’ll talk about him if he is important to her.

What’s afoot?


Blondes can be clever sometimes

[Tony] “So the ,lovely Lisa is not just a pretty face?”

[David] “She may look like a ditzy blond but she’s as sharp as a tack”

James will get Lilian for his birthday present

[Lilian] “Isn’t one’s time a better gift?”

Probably not for James.


Pigs not cows

Debbie has a cunning plan.

She’s going to swap large scale dairy for a large scale pig unit. Debbie reckons they’ll get similar benefits, but will be a more “mainstream” solution.

[Brian] “Why in earth would we shift our ground at this stage?”

And also why pigs, when other pig farmers seem to be struggling.

But – and this is where Debbie living in Hungry comes in useful (seems no one in Ambridge takes any heed of news reports in the TV, newspapers interest (etc) about that place they call Europe). She says that more European farmers are getting out of pigs because the new welfare regulations make them less profitable. So, there’s a nice gap for a large scale production.

[Debbie] “Just like the cow setup, it would be a large pig unit … but this time, there would be no need for outside suppliers”

[Brian] “We’d still have a very large animal production unit with pigs permanently indoors”

[Debbie] “It’s different with pigs, honestly, it’s all about perception. People are far more used to the idea of pigs indoors”

[Brian, warming to the idea] “At the moment I need all the get of jail cards I can get my hands on”

Well – I’m not sure Debbie is right this time.

Will Tom and Neil be supportive? Jazzer?

And with pigs being such intelligent animals (they play footy, don’t you know), won’t the protestors abhor this even more?