- So excited!
- “I was lucky with George, I suppose”
- “I’m finally single again”
- It’s Helen. There has to be a catch …
- Bollywood Night at Jaxx
- “My sexy Bollywood star”
So excited!
Despite Helen having to mark down the Raspberries down (to three for a pound. Bargain!), Helen’s delighted to be able to congratulate Emma face-to-face when she pops into Ambridge Organics.
Pat was also full of the joys for Emma, but Helen was a tad terrifying with her enthusiasm.
Thrilled that she’s only two months ahead of Emma, Helen seemed particularly delighted that:
“I won’t be the only pregnant girl in the village”
(though Emma said there must be more – who? who?? who???)
Helen was just as thrilled at the idea of her and Emma chumming each other to ante natal.
Whereas Emma seemed quite bewildered by Helen’s excitement.
Worse still for Emma was Helen’s rather detailed advice about how to morning sickness.
“Have you tried slow burn wholegrain food?”
Helen does seem to think she’s the perfect example of pregnancy, and that Emma could benefit from her months of research.
She does mean well, but doesn’t she go on!
And Helen should also probably realise that Emma’s not quite the wholefood type.
After all, just look at the whole artichoke saga ….
“I was lucky with George, I suppose”
If you say so Emma.
I know you were talking about being how easy it was to be pregnant with George, but I really don’t think there was any ‘luck’ that can be associated to George’s conception, birth, paternity test …
“I’m finally single again”
Now that Kenton’s making an effort with Jamie, Kathy is freed up to get on with her own life.
(Though it has to be said that she still didn’t sound very impressed with Kenton’s efforts. Too little too late?)
So, what wild and exciting things does Kathy immediately get up to?
Round to Pat and Tony’s for tea.
Steady on!
Kathy’s decided to take charge of her life and:
“make my own agenda”
Great and good. As long as it means less shouting and grumping, I’ll be happy. And maybe (just maybe) we’ll see a whole, new happy Kathy?!?
Just one odd thing – Kathy said:
“I’m finally single again”
Does that mean she wanted to split up with Kenton for a while? That she was hankering after a sassy single lady lifestyle?
Or, was Kathy just realising that she and Kenton should have split up many many months before they actually did.
It’s Helen. There has to be a catch …
Continuing her “fascinating” lecture on the right food and fitness routine for pregnant women, Helen didn’t seem to think that neither Pat nor Kathy would have anything useful or sensible to say on the topic.
It’s almost as if Helen’s the first woman to ever be pregnant.
Poo-pooing Kathy’s mention of “having to eat for two”, Helen announced:
“In the last 6 months … women only need 300 calories a day”
And she’s back!
Happy Helen has once again turned into Controlling/smug/know-it-all/rather rude Helen.
But Pat’s more worried about Helen’s entire attitude to food, than her mate being insulted by her daughter.
[Pat]“You do see what I mean about Helen?”
[Kathy] “She does seem quite picky about what she’s eating …”
[Pat] “You saw her sad little helping tonight … it’s not enough to feed a sparrow … worried she’s just using it as an excuse”
Oh dear.
As Kathy said, would Helen really put the baby at risk?
Or, is Pat just panicking about Helen because of her unhappy history with food?
“It’s her obsessive attitude I find worrying … she’s counting every calorie … surely can’t be a good sign where Helen’s concerned?”
While Pat might have a point that medical professionals are more worried about obesity, Kathy’s right that surely Helen’s midwife will be able to spot anything amiss (especially with Helen’s medical history to hand)? Especially if her midwife turns out to be Amy …
Either way, it was good to actually hear Pat being able to offload for once.
And Tony was quite right to steer well clear, with his umpiring rule book. It’ll soon come to a time where no excuse will be accepted …
Bollywood Night at Jaxx
Kenton’s entertaining Jamie at Jaxx, and does seem to be getting somewhere in encouraging Jamie to say more than ‘whatever’.
Although I do question Kenton’s tactic of using Kathy’s attitudes as a means to get Jamie to behave (if you do x, y will stop nagging you), anything that can help Jamie back to being a nice lad is welcome.
But, as with almost everything Kenton does, his attempts are doomed to failure …
“My sexy Bollywood star”
… so this time, Kenton’s failure comes in the form of Holly.
With Kenton’s rather detailed descriptions to Nigel the morning after forever etched in our darkest nightmares, we’ll never forget Kenton’s night of passion with Holly.
But, it seems Kenton had. It’s a shame for him that Holly hadn’t!
The fact that Kenton hasn’t called her since that night hasn’t quenched Holly’s passion for him. She even gave him a massive snog (right in the middle of Jaxx), rather than slapping him.
“It was a pretty memorable occasion!”
Does Holly have no shame?
Can she not take a hint? (that Kenton can’t be that interested if he hadn’t tried to contact her)
Bunny boiler material, methinks.
Anyway, Jamie is not at all impressed with Holly’s display of affection to Kenton, even though Kenton did try and explain to her that now wasn’t a good time for a reunion.
Jamie flees from Jaxx. Kenton catches up with him to explain:
[Kenton] “She’s just a friend … I haven’t; seen her for four weeks”
[Jamie] “You’re pathetic … why should I believe a word you say!?!”
Oops.
Jamie has met Holly before, at which point Kenton had also claimed she was just a friend.
Quite simply, friends don’t snog. And Jamie knows that.
Ah well. The lack of shouting was nice while it lasted.
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