- Mike’s loyal to his team
- Sabrina is on the display team
- Handsome Herdsman will sell the Super Dairy
- The Grundys’ latest caper
- The Orchard saga continues
- Joe won’t be bought
Mike’s loyal to his team
He’s demanding “extra-large goody bags” for Harry and Jazzer in return for them handing out Ambridge Organics leaflets on their rounds.
Good man.
Sabrina is on the display team
Of the Village Shop.
Imagine … all the local husbands must pack the pavement out when she’s in the window.
Handsome Herdsman will sell the Super Dairy
Brian’s PR agency (led by that chap Rufus) have done a leaflet for the Super Dairy that Brian is exceedingly proud of. It includes an artists’ impression of the cows’ accommodation, which makes it look quite luxurious (according to Jennifer).
But there’s a twist.
[Jennifer] “AND a very handsome cow man looking after them. He’s rather a dish … can you make sure you get someone just like him when you recruit please?!?”
[Brian] “Jenny, you’re not meant to be ogling the herdsmen”
But Jennifer has spotted something that may attract ladies like Sabrina and Hilary Noakes to Brian’s side.
[Brian, on Holiday Noakes] “What? Brad Pitt couldn’t get her to pipe down!”
The Grundys’ latest caper
(sigh)
Eddie’s at the Green Burial open day.
Which is fair do, as he will be the gravedigger (does one need qualifications for doing that?). But, he is in a suit.
Suspicious.
All becomes a bit clearer when Joe also arrives. He (a) hasn’t been invited (it’s an invitation only, don’t you know) and (b) he’s with Bartleby. Who seems to be wearing a “red Indian headdress”.
[Jim] “What have you done? Why has Bartleby got badly dyed pheasant feathers on his head?”
Joe’s joined the Ambridge craze for leaflets (not very green of anyone …) and hands Jim one.
[Jim] “You claim here you’re offering a bespoke transportation service for your loved ones … the ecologically friendly way of ensuring the departed arrives at their final resting place in the style that they wish!”
Though Joe is chuffed with himself – he even made the leaflet at Ed’s, and is now in awe of the spellcheck – Jim is far from amused.
[Jim] “It is not the occasion for heartless commercial activity!”
And makes Joe go away.
The rest of the open day seemed to go well enough.
[Brian] “Tragically enough, they didn’t have many takes for the compost toilet”
Funny that!
And as Kenton put it, after he’d heard it from one of the undertakers:
[Kenton] “All they need now is a body!”
The Orchard saga continues
To recap: the Community Orchard is on Oliver’s land. Jim has organised the cider club to help grow and pick the apples, to be made into cider using the Grundys’ equipment. So that everyone gets a fair share of the cider, Jim has been working on a system that will record who puts in what hours.
Though Jim thought he’d sorted it, Mike’s not happy that Jim has been rounding times up and down to the half hour. It could mean that he could miss out on “gallons” of cider.
Jim explains that it’s been impossible trying to get everyone to complete their timesheets, but Mike isn’t hearing him. He just wants what’s fair.
[Mike] “What you need here is a bit of discipline, Jim”
Oh give Jim a break! At least he’s trying.
Joe won’t be bought
Not one to give up easily, Joe crashed the Green Burial site post-open day at The Bull.
When Kenton won’t serve him a pint on the Green Burial site tab, he gets offended.
Well, until Brian steps him to buy Joe a pint of Shires … that somehow (miraculously) turns into a large whisky, on Joe’s say so.
Joe’s worked Brian out, though, and tells Brian that he can’t be bought.
[Joe] “I’m me own man!”
And so he is.
Joe then starts giving out his leaflets again (while wheezing and coughing as he had to climb the stairs up to the Bull’s function room):
[Joe] “You wouldn’t throw an old man out, would you?”
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