The Archers Wed 6th Oct 2010: The Quiz Night

The Archers: Jazzer’s moved in with Brenda and Tom ... Matt’s a happy chap … Bert saves the Quiz

• Jazzer’s not housetrained, “but in a weird way, he is making an effort”
• He’s “Turbo charged”!
• What I learned from The Archers (part 59076)
• Bert’s brain is just like a sponge
• It’s all about Jim in Jim’s world
• A cackling and grinning Matt
• Lilian’s patented cure for the common cold
• Apologies, but I went to a Scottish comprehensive
• “How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work?”

Jazzer’s not housetrained, “but in a weird way, he is making an effort”

Jazzer may be an uncouth lothario sometimes, but it does look like his mum has managed to train him in some basic hygiene skills.

So, despite best efforts to wipe the bath after he’d used it, he managed to use Brenda’s flannel for the task and also leave his towel on the floor.

But that’s not too bad a start, I reckon. Maybe Brenda expecting the worst will only make it come true ...


He’s “Turbo charged”!

Jazzer’s in a good mood today, as Harry isn’t going to be at The Bull tonight for the quiz.

He reckons he’ll be able to

“spread my wings”

sans Harry. Which surely must be more to do with Jazzer wanting Fallon to himself rather than his claim of wanting to be able to be creative in coming up with ideas to show We Love The Bull.

Jazzer’s ideas are to have a “vampire theme” for Halloween - which is neither original nor impressive - but I liked his ideas for Bonfire Night themed drinks:

“Shandy sparkler and Guy Fox Fizz”

After all, most folks will pay that wee bit extra for something ‘special’, even if it is just a pint of larger and lemonade dressed up in a different coat.

[Kathy] “Someone’s lit his fuse!”

Well, Fallon did a while back. It only shines when Harry isn't around.

Poor, lovesick Jazzer.


What I learned from The Archers (part 59076)

The Harvest Supper is a pagan festival:

“In Britain, thanks have been given for successful harvests since pagan times. The celebrations on this day usually include singing hymns, praying, and decorating churches with baskets of fruit and food in the festival known as Harvest Festival, Harvest Home or Harvest Thanksgiving.

“Until the 20th century most farmers celebrated the end of the harvest with a big meal called a harvest supper, to which all who had helped in the harvest were invited.

“Some churches and villages still have a Harvest Supper.”

wikipedia

Well I never knew it had Pagan origins (though it would have made sense, if I’d ever had reason to think about it).

Also interesting to see that Ambridge if probably one of the few villages to still have a Harvest Supper.

Still, that fits in with them playing cricket when everyone else has gone home to stay warm ...


Bert’s brain is just like a sponge

And it was the main himself who said it.


It’s all about Jim in Jim’s world

I do have a soft spot for him and his oh-so-cultured ways, but he had a slight nerve first telling Kathy that he was sorry to hear about her and Kenton splitting up - then apologising in case it was his fault.

Come on Jim! It’s plain that Kathy and Kenton would have split up, whether Jaxx existed (and Jim had in part funded it to exist), or not.

“you just helped bring about the inevitable, Jim”

A cackling and grinning Matt

Which always means he’s about to pull off a crafty deal.

Matt in this sort of state must be what was keeping Brian awake at night a few weeks back.

Matt seems to be more than happy about BL’s offer of 20% in a new company, with Lilian on the board and probably less of a price for the ‘ransom strip’.

What’s he up to now?

It surely can’t be that simple?!?


Lilian’s patented cure for the common cold

“nothing a couple of G&Ts won’t fix”

Which isn’t as daft as it sounds.

I swear that making a decent journey into a bottle of whisky will banish all ailments.


Apologies, but I went to a Scottish comprehensive

Which I don’t really feel the need to apologise for (we had Norman McCaig instead of Pope, Liz Lochhead instead of Shakespeare. Very groovy), but it has led to a slight interruption in my usual service.

I don’t know Latin.

So, like the Ambridge residents, not only was I unable to answer Jim’s quiz questions - but I also couldn’t understand what he was saying to get the questions written down for this blog.

I only managed to get:

From the ‘easy’ starting round, translating Latin into English:
Carpe Dieum
Cavaet Emptor
Meliora (and something else)

(Geography)
Lusitania

Jazzer struggled just as much:

“just put down two points of larger and a packet of drinks”

“this quiz is weird, man”

Shockingly remiss of me, but at least I know my bere bannock from a rowie.

Anyhoo, despite wearing his lucky bow tie, Jim’s quiz went down like a lack of Ann Summer tat at a hen party.

Lilian failed to take control by suggesting Jim tries to give questions that are “a little easier” (than the Punic Wars), as Jim went onto the fiction of Anthony Trollope. Which I would have actually fared better on.

Then, after Jim tried a “easy picture round”, which featured drawings of

[Jazzer] “just a bunch of Romans with curly hair”

from which you had to guess which one was the odd one out (although Brenda reckoned one “could pass for Peter Andre”), Bert stepped in to save the quiz - which is part of the efforts to Save The Bull.

Gracefully bowing out, Jim was heard to mutter:

“I have done what I could, those who can do better will”

And Bert did so almost immediately.

Even Jazzer knew what the largest Loch in Scotland was ...


“How does the guy who drives the snowmobile get to work?”

Classic Jazzer moment.

[Jazzer] “I’m mainly a lateral thinker me ... how does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work”

[Matt] “By plane”

[Jazzer - in awe and shock] “Really!?!”