Saturday 19 February 2011

The Archers Mon 14th Feb 2011: Harry and Jazzer double date

  • At least David and Ruth have low expectations of each other
  • Kate’s boxed Hayley and Roy
  • Nigel’s romantic gestures
  • Pre-double date
  • During double date
  • David’s so rubbish, Ruth chased the florist away



At least David and Ruth have low expectations of each other

Which is good, as it means no-one was upset that they only got a card from the other.

In fact, they were both quite delighted.


Kate’s boxed Hayley and Roy

Or so reckons Hayley.

Her and Roy have no choice but to let Phoebe go to South Africa (as she really, really, wants to go – plus it is an amazing chance for her) – which means Phoebe either misses school, or has to fly by herself.

Bloomin’ Kate and her bloomin’ promises.

So Hayley and Roy are now shouting at each other about which is the worst option.

[Hayley] “If he thinks I can stand there and watch Phoebe disappear off through security with someone she’s never met … and have to hope Kate remembers to pick her up the other end …”

(Hayley put a big emphasis on ‘hope’)


Nigel’s romantic gestures

It is indeed a bit of a quiet Valentine’s day in Ambridge without Nigel.

Poor Elizabeth. Instead of harpists, she takes flowers to his grave.

That’s sad. Very sad indeed.


Pre-double date

The postie hasn’t been yet, but Jazzer already reckons he’s a winner, with 4 texts to Harry’s zero.

Not that Harry’s actually cares (or so he says …)

Harry’s a bit shocked that they’re not dining their ladies – it’s a pub, then a club. they can get a chippie or a kebab if they’re hungry, and that food is just “killing time” before they can get the ladies back to the flat.

But Harry is also shocked at the very idea of the ladies coming home.

[Jazzer] “If you’re so shocked at the idea of taking the girls back to our place, how come you changed your sheets?”

Harry’s answer was that they needed to be changed anyway. Which I’d be suspect of with anyone else – but Harry, I can believe.

Whereas it would never even occur to Jazzer that sheets need changing:

[Jazzer] “What for? They’d only get all sweaty and tangled up anyway”


During double date

Not a great start.

Tasha isn’t Tasha.

Harry made a mistake, and spotted the wrong girl when he went to scope out Tasha.

Which isn’t good. As the real Tasha doesn’t seem to be much of a looker.

[Jazzer] “You don’t have to look at the mantelpiece when you poke the fire …”

(my word Jazzer – such blunt rudery in Ambridge! Well, I never).

But what’s this?

Zoe (Jazzer’s date) actually fancies Harry.

Leaving Jazzer with nae burd at all – unless he wants to lower his standards and have a go with Tasha

(poor Tasha – I’d have thought at least Harry would have been de cent enough to look beyond the surface. Maybe he is more of a normal man than I’ve given him credit for)

But Jazzer throws all of his toys out of his pram – and tries to get Harry to join him in running away while the girls are in the toilet. Which Harry won’t do. As that would be rude.

[Jazzer] “Have both of them if you’re man enough … just don’t keep me awake with the heid board banging”

I somehow don’t think that will be happening …


David’s so rubbish, Ruth chased the florist away

Bless.

David had organised flowers for Ruth – but she was so sure (and used) to him not even thinking about her, that she tried to tell him to go elsewhere.

Ah well. All’s well.

Ruth’s chuffed.

Even to the point that she seemed to suggest she wanted carnal knowledge of her hubby in the lambing shed.

*shudder*

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