Monday 13 December 2010

The Archers Mon 13th Dec 2010: The great turkey massacre

  • Emma’s getting back to old form
  • Nic’s a wee star
  • Do turkeys know what’s coming?
  • Birthing plans
  • Wishful thinking, Pat
  • What’s bad for a turkey is good for Clarrie
  • Bets on Vicky or Susan



Emma’s getting back to old form

As Will, Nic and Ed get stuck into the turkeys (Joe and Eddie were around, but we didn’t actually hear them working), Emma is worse than useless.

First she dumps George on Clarrie. He’s got a sore throat, but instead of finding a babysitter, Emma ignores Clarrie’s broken wrist, and need to rest.

(Is any Grundy actually taking Clarrie’s broken wrist seriously? Give the woman a break!)

So Emma dumps George.

Is late with the coffee for those actually working hard.

Refuses to help sweep up the feathers:

[Emma] “Me!?! No! Bloomin things, they get everywhere. I’ll be itching all day!”

Has a half-hearted go at catching the turkeys, which lasted all of a few seconds:

[Emma] “I don’t wanna do it!”

Will was quite right to slate her at the end of the day.

[Will] “For all the help Emma was, she might as well stayed at home”

Emma was back to form as a spoilt, petulant brat.

And though she is pregnant, if Helen can work when she’s actually ahead of Emma in pregnancy terms, maybe Clarrie shouldn’t give Emma that excuse …


Nic’s a wee star

In complete contrast to Emma, there’s nothing Nic won’t do to help out.

After managing to get Will to help out even though Emma and Ed would be there, Nic cracks on with the work without complaint – actually, she does it with a whistle to her step.

She ignores her own snuffles as she plucks the turkeys.

Has a go at catching the turkeys:

[Nic] “It can’t be that hard – they’re so big and stupid”

Infact, Nic gets a bit zealous when catching those turkeys. When she did catch one, she sounded like a super hyper Spanish football commentator.

Bless Nic for her enthusiasm and determination. She’s a cracker.


Do turkeys know what’s coming?

[Ed] “I dunno, I didn’t think to ask”

Well, if turkeys knew what Christmas time meant, none of us would have a chance of eating one. They’d surely be off (along with pigs, cows, pheasants, chickens ….)


Birthing plans

At our next riveting instalment of Helen’s ante-natal class, this week it is birthing plans.

Taking Pat with her for the first time (actually, it’s the first time anyone has been allowed to accompany Helen), Helen seems to have completely opened her mind to being reasonable and realistic about having her baby.

Still quite keen to use the birthing pool, she’s now also:

[Helen] “quite happy to use a high to use a high tech option. All I want is to get this baby out safely”

What a chance of heart.

My word. Is this all actually going to go well for Helen?


Wishful thinking, Pat

Pat’s claiming to Helen that Tony would be “happy to help” Helen get her nursery finished (when Ian has to go back to work).

Really?

I think Helen has the true measure of Tony’s attitude to her pregnancy:

[Helen] “Mum … I mean come on … you know how he feels about this baby, he wants nothing to do with it, he never even mentions it … he seems to be doing his best to pretend it’s not happening at all”


What’s bad for a turkey is good for Clarrie

[Clarrie] “All done – killed and plucked and hanging in the container”

Clarrie’s so chuffed that it’s been done, that she even cracks open the sherry with Pat.

At last. Clarrie gets to put her feet up while everyone else does the work.

Well, nearly. If it hadn’t been for Emma and George …


Bets on Vicky or Susan

Clarrie doesn’t seem convinced about Vicky’s ability to pick up her job at Bridge Farm

[Clarrie] “Vicky will have to learn very fast if she’s to be any use to you”

Clarrie then also wondered out loud whether Vicky would be able to pick it up faster than Susan.

Oo-er.

I’ll have a fiver on Vicky …

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