- Ian’s gone all teenage over Ifty
- A lamb attacks Brian
- Alan’s obsessed with Carl
- Chamber of Commerce or Vicar’s retreat?
Ian’s gone all teenage over Ifty
Ian’s very excited about the prospect of Ifty (Ambridge’s new youth cricket coach).
[Ian] “The word is he’s very handsome”
[Adam] “Word is he’s a very talented cricketer, that’s what I’m interested in”
Ian even later turns up to the cricket pitch.
[Ian] “I thought I’d just take a look … the rumours don’t do him justice!”
Alistair reckons that Ifty has drawn a crowd bigger than if he’d got Alastair Cook to coach (I had to look him up. He plays cricket for England. Not to be confused with Alistair Cooke. That lovely chap who did Letter from America. I did get confused … why would Alistair think a dead journalist would be a draw …)
[Alistair] “Training’s not usually a spectator sport”
Nic had also turned out to see Ifty, though she claimed it was to bring Mia and Jake along, in case they wanted to join in one day (aye, in about 10 years’ time!).
It’s a shame for the boys. They were getting coached by one of Ifty’s mates in a different part of the field, while all the girls got Ifty and a big crowd watching.
The girls included Jamie’s Natalie, who brought all of her hockey pals, and does genuinely seem interested in playing cricket.
[Alistair, accepting reality] “I do think seeing him in his cricket whites was a bit of a bonus!”
So good looking, Great at cricket. A superb coach. And Ifty also reckons he can try and get a grant so that they can buy more equipment.
[Ian] “Hmm not just a pretty face then”
A lamb attacks Brian
Brian was late to help Adam weigh the lambs. Adam wasn’t surprised, Jennifer had already said that she’d spent the weekend “walking on eggshells” as Brian was in a right grump about no progress on the Environment Report for the Super Dairy.
When Brian does turn up and gets on with the job, he’s also being grumpy with the sheep.
Just as he’s calling them stupid for not going in the direction he wants them to, one of them sweeps him off his feet. He goes down. Hard.
Adam keeps Brian sitting down, and notices he’s bleeding.
[Brian] “Adam there’s really no need for you to ruin a good handkerchief”
Brian also refuses to let Adam get his first aid kit, or take him home to Jennifer (who Brian reckons will just fuss).
Brian’s being very manly about being unmanned by a lamb …
And he blames the Environment Agency. It’s their fault that his mind wasn’t on the job.
Later on, Adam tells Ian about the incident:
[Ian, barely suppressing his laughter] “A lamb did?”
[Adam] “I was quite worried about him for a moment”
[Ian] “Well of course you were. You are very fond of him … and he is of you”
[Adam] “Then he mentioned the environment agency, and it was back to normal … well, what passes for normal these days … He’s not used to having to wait for what he wants”
(and worth saying that a lamb isn’t a tiny, cute wee thing. As they were weighing them, assumedly for selling, they’ll be fairly large)
Alan’s obsessed with Carl
And he hasn’t even met him yet!
Now that Usha has met carl, Amy’s relented, and has invited Carl to take tea with her, Alan and Usha.
Alan’s in a right tizzy about it.
She’s terrified that he’ll let Amy down. As it’s the first time she’s brought home a serious boyfriend (in fact, Carl is the first boy she’s ever been serious about), it’s also the first time for Alan.
He thinks he’s somehow going to ruin it for her.
[Alan] “You’ll kick me, won’t you, if I started saying something embarrassing”
[Usha] “Want to be covered in bruises, do you?”
Usha’s just jesting. She thinks Carl and Alan will get on very well indeed.
As they later sync their diaries, Alan insists on outing Carl’s visit in his diary.
[Usha] “That’s tomorrow … and are you going to put it in big red letters … don’t let Amy see, it’ll spook her!”
Alan’s a bit perturbed that he has to see Lynda tomorrow. He’d far rather be at home, tidying for Carl.
He really is taking this far too seriously!
But not to worry, Usha tells him to still see Lynda, then go off and sit on green and listen to bell ringers (for St George’s Day – Lily is going to be ringing).
[Usha] “I’ll do the vacuuming”
Chamber of Commerce or Vicar’s retreat?
Horror upon horrors – Usha and Alan have a double booking.
On the night that Usha has a Chamber of Commerce event, Alan’s away on a retreat.
Usha can cope at the Chamber by herself, but prefers it when Alan can come:
[Usha] “Having you there would have livened it up … I know what you and your clerical pals get up to when on retreat!”
Why, what do they get up to?!?
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