Sunday 28 November 2010

The Archers Fri 19th Nov 2010: Helen just won’t stop

The Archers: Pigs with colds … Pip’s a fast driver … Jazzer wants something … Joe’s got a new scam … Helen’s getting worse

  • Jazzer’s still worried about wheezing pigs
  • Is Jazzer also coming down with something?
  • Eddie doesn’t like to boast
  • Pip’s a Boy Racer
  • Team Jazzer & Harry
  • Would Bert really abuse those cows?
  • Joe works for tea?
  • David wants a freebie
  • Cobwebs behind the cistern
  • Tony’s decisive, but his kids are too driven



Jazzer’s still worried about wheezing pigs

Seemingly a second has come down with a bit of a wheeze, but Jazzer’s managed to get them both put inside for a bit of RandR.

Maybe we should start a knitting to group to get those pigs some toasty jumpers.


Is Jazzer also coming down with something?

“Get a time machine - go back and start your life again – but this time, pay attention”

What?

That was what Jazzer said to Tony when Tony tried to get the inside info on the forthcoming quiz answers.

How decidedly odd.


Eddie doesn’t like to boast

But he goes ahead with it anyway.

“I don’t like to boast . Linda virtually declared me and Nathan the stars of the show”

Oh far too cocky! You know that pride comes before a fall …


Pip’s a Boy Racer

Or, at least that’s what you’d believe if you listened to David.


Team Jazzer & Harry

[Jazzer] “My natural instinct is to be a team player – we’re shaping up to be a pretty good team”

Jazzer’s waxing lyrical to Harry about how good they are together.

They’re working on the quiz together, and Jazzer even cooked tea for Harry last night.

[Jazzer] “It was good scran tae …all the extras bits were my own as well – the chilli sauce, the grated cheese on top …”

[Harry, rather sarcastically] “Those were some of the nicest beans on toast I ever had”

Later on, Jazzer even rushes to Harry’s aid (unasked) when something at the milking needs fixing.

Despite losing Harry’s wee screwdriver (let’s hope it didn’t cost as much as his knife or pan did!), Jazzer’s determined to make sure Harry knows that he’s making a real effort.

Especially on the shared cooking front.

Not that Jazzer wants to do the cooking every day:

[Jazzer] “I still want to enjoy ma food”

But he is quite keen to share the duties. As long as Harry cooks tonight. Because Jackie is coming round (ah ha!)

[Jazzer] “I do the cooking, you get the credit … She cannae decide whether to stick or twist yet … They just blame you for filling them with wind (beans)”

Harry doesn’t completely fall for it, instead suggesting that he can talk Jazzer through the cooking.

Not very amused by this suggestion, Jazzer reckons:

“You’ve got a long way to go before you get the idea of this teamwork thing, Harry”



Would Bert really abuse those cows?

Telling David that he can’t work on Christmas day (yikes – a full Grundy is taking shape), Eddie snorts over the idea of Bert handling the milking

[Eddie] “Bert manhandling them wouldn’t have been the best present for the cows!”

Poor Bert. That’s a horrible slut on his character.


Joe works for tea?

Did I hear that right?

Did Eddie say to David that Joe was giving folks rides on the green (with Bartleby and his trap) for teas?


David wants a freebie

Honestly, is David ever positive about anything his siblings do?

Elizabeth and Nigel are doing a lovely open day at Lower Loxley for the family, but David’s already moaning as it won’t include the ice rink.

Come on David. Where’s your festive cheer?!?



Cobwebs behind the cistern

What on earth is Helen thinking?

She gets forced to take time off of work to rest her hurt ankle, so uses the time to paint her flat. But it’s okay, as it’s mainly the skirting boards. Which are scuffed. Which, of course, the baby would be very upset about (!).

Pat catches Helen as she takes round a cottage pie (which is unlikely to be eaten by the ever calorie conscious Helen), and is rightly indignant.

[Helen] “I won’t get a better opportunity than now – I want the flat to be perfect when the baby comes … come on mum, you know how untidy this place gets … there was cobwebs behind the cistern!”

[Pat] “Can’t you just read a book instead!”

Helen really just gets worse and worse. If cobwebs behind a cistern upset her, just imagine what a kid smothered in mud (and goodness knows what else) will do to her sense of calm.

It’s almost as if she expects her baby to sit quietly, without making a mess.

Well, at least it won’t be offended by wee bits of crime.

More importantly, during her wee argument with Pat, Helen is forced to sit down.

Tony’s decisive, but his kids are too driven

[Pat, slightly smouldering, on Tony saying ‘yes’ to Tom’s energy saving ideas] “I was very impressed how decisive you were about that Tony”

[Tony] “Yes. He’d worn down my resistance … he’d done a good job … and is determined to put us on a better footing, so why not”

[Pat] “I do sometimes wish our children weren’t so driven … she’s been micromanaging organics online … running around the flat tidying up and painting … she’s washed the walls of the shower room top to bottom”

[Tony] “… unless she was silly enough to stand on a chair …”

(course she has been!)

[Pat] “Her whole body is telling her to slow down and be careful”

[Tony] “she just doesn’t know how to stop”

It’s time for an intervention!

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