Saturday 6 November 2010

The Archers Thurs 4th Nov 2010: Jazzer goes to a supermarket

The Archers: Jazzer goes shopping … Josh and Ben, ‘Penny for the Guy’ … Lynda’s getting to the end of her Panton casting

  • Jazzer doesn’t ‘get’ supermarkets
  • “The lessor spotted Scots pigman in a supermarket”
  • Proof that the BBC does not ‘make’ the archers
  • Josh pimps Ben out
  • Bert came third
  • David gets railroaded
  • Harry is not impressed
  • Harry is keen to be a girl
  • “Fill one hole, and another takes it place”
  • “You big girl … on yer bike!”
  • Why is Kenton being so helpful?
  • The Panto Cast (so far) # 3



Jazzer doesn’t ‘get’ supermarkets

I think most of us can agree with Jazzer to one extent or another, but I’m finding it really hard to believe his claim that this was only the second time he’s been in charge of a trolley.

“Last time was selling dodgy video games door to door”

Mind you, maybe he meant he has been to a supermarket before, but he just used a basket. Or one of his many women to push his trolley, including his mum.

[Jazzer] “What’s the point of charging round a supermarket to queue up to buy stuff that you’ve got to spend hoors mucking about wae before you can eat it?”

[Jazzer] “They do great pies at the bull, or there’s the chippy van that does kebabs for a bit of variety – or the Indian and Chinese for a takeaway”

Ruth was left bemused at Jazzer’s indignation at having to buy, prepare and cook meals from scratch, as he marched off to persuade one of his wee lassies to let him buy his trolley load at the basket checkout. (well I never!)

I share Harry’s confusion at how Jazzer can treat his body so badly yet manage to pack in quite a busy day of work.

When’s it all going to catch up with him?



“The lessor spotted Scots pigman in a supermarket”

Ah, very drole Kenton (though it did make me chuckle!).

Kenton also spotted that Jazzer had chicken nuggets in his trolley, rightly then pointing out that it’s not exactly typical Harry nourishment.

Unless you can buy organic, free range, preservative/additive/colouring free chicken nuggets.



Proof that the BBC does not ‘make’ the archers

Jazzer was mentioning to Ruth his shock and horror of seeing Pip behind the wheel of a car. She seemingly nearly ran him off the road, being

“Faster than the Stig”

Would the BBC make mention of The Stig considering recent developments?

I think not.

(but then again, the more cynical amongst us might notice that Top Gear is building up to a new Stig and, if the BBC does make The Archers, Jazzer’s mention was some sort of publicity stunt. Hmmmmm)


Josh pimps Ben out

In an effort to get more ‘pennies for the guy’, Josh plonked Ben and The Guy in one spot, then hid round the corner.

With Ben just a wee young chap, they made a fortune!

Ruth and David didn’t seem to quite approve, but it shows a bit of cunning and could bode well for future sales at Brookfield.

I still think Pip can’t assume she’ll be the one to take over the family farm.


Bert came third

Despite Bert’s main competition being out of the running, Bert only came third in the overall ploughing championship.

Still, David and Ruth thinks is still a great result.

Good on you Bert.


David gets railroaded

You have to admire Lynda’s political manoeuvrings.

If she wants someone to do something, she’ll find a way of getting them to do it.

First she sets Vicky onto Mike (Mike gave in and is now in the Panto), now she sets herself onto David.

[Lynda] “I thought you might make it a family affair … pick up and drop off [Ben and Josh to rehearsals) anyway …what else could you do in such a short space of time?”

David’s poor attempt at saying he was too busy didn’t work. NFU paperwork was never going to be a good enough excuse for Lynda.

[David] “Oh good grief – why is it I can never say no to that woman?!?”

Never mind David. It’ll be a great laugh. Maybe at you, rather than with you …



Harry is not impressed

Harry gets home to find Jazzer has done the food shopping, but that he hasn’t put it away. The phone went, which helped Jazzer to forget about it.

What’s worse, Jazzer also hasn’t done a great job of the actual shopping.

[Harry] “Frozen pizzas … there’s a lot of crisps here”

[Jazzer] “You can never have too many potato backed snacks”

[Harry] “Processed meat …!”

[Jazzer] “Oh, this is great. My mum used to get it in tins and slice it up and fry it, but this is already sliced and battered. Genius or what!”

[Harry] “When I said get the 5 main food groups, I didn’t mean alcohol, chocolate, crisps, biscuits and cola …what about the fruit?”

[Jazzer] “It seemed a bit pricey … so I got blackcurrant cordial”

Jazzer then has to admit that he didn’t have the shopping list with him as he’d earlier used it to leave his mobile number for a “really fit bird”. As Jazzer said, maybe he should get some cards done …

Jazzer also didn’t get bleach because Harry is already blonde (so thought it must have been a mistake), and has invited in amazing chips which cook in seconds.

Despite all of that, Harry still didn’t even blow a fuse at Jazzer. He just left the flat to get to the Panto rehearsals half an hour early.

Come on Harry. As much as I like our Jazzer, he’s taking the utter rip out of you!



Harry is keen to be a girl

After escaping Jazzer by going early to rehearsals, Harry is found practising his lines by Lynda.

As she hears him read his lines as well as Dick’s, she has a light bulb moment, and offers Harry the part of Dick.

[Harry] “It’s meant to be played by a girl”

[Lynda] “Rules are meant for breaking – the secret to true creativity is flexibility”

And does Harry just jump at the chance! Good on him for stopping Lynda stalking every young woman in Ambridge. Even though she now had to recast Idle Jack:

But his eagerness with a bit off-putting.

There’s obviously nothing wrong with a bloke playing a bloke who should be played by a girl – but it’s yet another instance of Harry being overtly keen to get involved.

What is Harry all about?



“Fill one hole, and another takes it place”

So says Lynda, after casting Harry as Dick – which leaves no-one playing Idle Jack.

But yet again, Harry is a one-stop wonder.

“You really are riding to my rescue tonight”

Harry has an idea of how he can ask to be Idle Jack, which leads to …


“You big girl … on yer bike!”

I’m not sure why Harry thought Jazzer would be open to being in the Panto again, but it certainly wasn’t a good idea to try and make out that Jazzer should do it to make up for the disastrous shopping trip

[Harry] “I’m prepared to forget about the shopping incident …”

[Jazzer] “ Ah, very friendly oh ye pal … cheers”

[Harry] “… will you take my own part [Idle Jack]?”

[Jazzer] “Is this a wind up? Are you calling me idle because I forget your hair bleach, you big girl! On yer bike!”

Well, I suppose it was worth a shot.

It’s a shame, really. It’d be nice for Jazzer to have a wee singing part (after his extraordinary performance at Ambridge Has Talent).



Why is Kenton being so helpful?

The folks at The Bull can’t move for Kenton offering to help out.

This time, he’s bought well over £200 worth of fireworks for Bonfire night.

Even David is pleasantly surprised,

Kenton claims he just wants to “contribute”, and wants to make:

“an effort because it’s the first one without Sid, for Jolene and Fallon's sake … we should do him proud.”

Sorry? He’s doing all of this to make Sid proud?

That’s rubbish. They were hardly the best of pals when Sid was alive.

And doing it for Fallon and Jolene – that’s also rubbish. Friendly acquaintances yes, but hardly bosom buddies.

Surely this all has to be to impress Jamie.

Or Kathy???




The Panto Cast (so far) # 3

Jill: fairy beau bells

Vicky: Mrs Fitzwarren

Sabrina: Whittington’s cat

Nigel: Sarah the Cook (The Dame)

Harry: Dick Whittington

Richard Thwaite: King Rat

Nathan Booth: Rate Henchman 1

Eddie: Rat Henchman 2

Ben: little rat

Jim: The Imperial Majesty

David: Captain

Josh: First Mate

Robert and Neil constructing the sets

Daniel is helping with set and lighting

Mike: Mr Fitzwilliam

Which I think just leaves a lack of an Idle Jack and Alice.

Surely Lynda can now offer Eddie the part of Idle Jack.

And Alice – Fallon would jump at the chance to play across from Harry …

6 comments:

Absolute Archers Mad said...

Is Pip no good at acting singing? I know that Phil passed on some of his musical qualities to her!? I think Pip is a dreamboat see, I'd just love to hear her sing!

AAM

Inga McVicar said...

I'm not sure if we've ever been exposed to Pip's more creative talents.

I suppose if Pip did join the Panto, that'd just leave Ruth out of the clan's efforts. Maybe she'd enjoy the peace.

Absolute Archers Mad said...

I suppose the focus with PIp has either been romance based or education based of late! Or driving lessons! I did read somewhere that Phil was teaching her to play instruments (piano if I recall rightly) before he died. I just hope she goes to Uni in Felpersham and sticks around and doesn't disappear for a few years!

AAM

Inga McVicar said...

I reckon Pip will be around to fight for her place at Brookfield. I always assumed it'd be her to take over, until Josh started showing an interest. Mind you, I wonder what Ben will eventually pipe up with.

That's another inheritance row in the making!

Absolute Archers Mad said...

Hi Inga, I thought I'd post this in advance of your blog for tonights episode!

Pip said something that might shed some light on your earlier blogs ponder on tickets for two people/one person etc. She said she had four tickets left but they were doubles. So I'm still none the wiser about the actual system she's using but there must be an a location of single tickets which are for two people. The overall number must account for that.

Anyway, I've rambled on!

Tonights episode did also say some more about Pips musical qualities that she'd got from Phil. Though how far Organ playing can take her in life I do not know!

I can't wait to see which of the fourth generation take on Brookfield!

AAM

Inga McVicar said...

Yup - as much as Pip did a good(ish) job or organising the dance, she needs to refine some of her planning. Some of it was quite odd ...

And you were spot on about Pip learning from Phil. Her playing in tribute to him will be a lovely moment.

And yes - the 4th generation will be an interesting one. That's another thing I love about The Archers. We'll all grow older together ;-)