Friday 5 November 2010

The Archers Mon 1st Nov 2010: The discovery of Race Evenings

The Archers: Bridge Farm uses too much electricity … The Village Shop’s cabbages are looking past their prime … Hilary Noakes’ magazine is missing … Jim’s fundraising … Lynda still has Panto casting problems … Tom’s not helping … Tony still doesn’t want to be a granddad

  • “You can’t always trust averages”
  • Jim “whizzed” through the videos
  • “Did Mr Wilder or Alfred Hitchcock have the same problems …”
  • Jim’s extensive research
  • “The erudite contacts one make”
  • Tom tells Pip “not to bother”
  • Watch out David, there’s a Lynda about
  • Helen’s blooming
  • But Helen’s baby is already kicking out against her



“You can’t always trust averages”

Is Tony ever positive or happy about anything these days?

Tom’s trying to save the family farm some money, yet Tony’s immediate reaction is akin to ‘pah!’ – then, when he realises Tom will do all the work to sort out energy use savings – it’s “go fill your boots”.

Looks like we’re in for a lot of Bridge Farm tussles leading up to Tony’s retirement.


Jim “whizzed” through the videos

But didn’t find anything unsavoury.

From the box that Alan was gifted, it seems that there’s lots of classic films (Lynda seemingly adores ‘Some Like It Hot), and also some rather off videos of horse races.

“Curiouser and curiouser”, said Lynda

Seemingly, the horse races are of privately run races which no-one knows the outcome of, so that people can run race evenings.

(it took me a while to get it – but I think it means they can run the race, then later show it an event where everyone can gamble on the race without it being run in front of them).

And it’s all given Jim a bit of an idea.

He’s going to put on a race evening in aid of St Stephens.

That sounds like a good idea. There surely couldn’t be any problems arising from such a simple, altruistic idea.

Could there?



“Did Mr Wilder or Alfred Hitchcock have the same problems …”

Well, no.

No director has ever had the same hoo-ha with casting as Lynda does.

She needs to find a young woman who can sing AND dance.

Phew. That’s a fairly tall order indeed.

But I really can’t help thinking that Lynda should be well ‘rehearsed’ in the rather mixed bag of fortunes that is the Christmas panto.

She’s a woman who gets a shock from something she is fully aware of beforehand.


Jim’s extensive research

True to form, Jim’s thrown himself into his panto part of Imperial Majesty.

He’s seemingly undertaking:

“extensive research into 14th century japan where the Emperor Godiva [hmmm – not sure I got that name right. Sorry Jim!] was briefly restored into power”

Boy oh boy. The Panto is shaping up to be a real educational night out for the whole family.

We just need a full cast.


“The erudite contacts one makes”

Which one of the reasons Jim rates higher education.

“Learn for learning’s sake … enriching one’s life simply by the acquisition of knowledge”

As Tom pointed out, the days of free education and a job for life are well and truly history.

As much as I loathe disagreeing with Tom’s Sausages, he does have a point that maybe the young ‘uns of today have to be a tad more practical when it comes to a livelihood.


Tom tells Pip “not to bother”

How very astute and helpful of you Tom!

Pip’s umming about whether to go to College or Uni, so Tom sticks his oar in by suggesting she just forgets both.

His great plan is for Pip to go straight into farming at Brookfield. If they can afford to it going to pay her.

Tom does have a point that it costs a fair amount of money (translated into debt) to get an education these days, but surely he should be encouraging Pip to look at all options, rather than tell her what’s what.

David and Ruth aren’t going to be too chuffed when they hear cousin Tom’s advice to their wee lass …

I also think there’s no certainty that Pip will be able to make a living at Brookfield. There’s the rather eager young farmer Josh to also think about (and we haven’t even started in Ben as yet!)



Watch out David, there’s a Lynda about

Very dangerous.

Lynda. At Panto time. With a half casted cast.

“I have the ideal part of David Archer … he’s perfectly adequate … he can be the ship’s captain to Josh's best mate … he has to bring josh and ben to rehearsal anyway”

Oh dear.

That’ll be David in the Panto then, whether he wants to or not. Even if he’s just ‘adequate’.


Helen’s blooming

And looking great, according to Kenton.

Helen is also overjoyed to have a new ‘stretch mark oil’ in Ambridge Organics.

My word. The detail that woman gets down to.



But Helen’s baby is already kicking out against her

Well, that didn’t take long.

I was expecting at least another 12 years before Helen’s kid started to try and loosen the bonds that bind.

Helen’s obviously delighted that her baby is well and fighting fit.

And so is Pat.

But Tony still hasn’t succumbed.

[Helen] “Dad, don’t you want to feel the baby?”

[Tony] “ No … you finish their lunch”

Giving a rubbish excuse about not wanting to put his hands on Helen’s stomach because women must get fed up with their stomach’s being felt, Tony still isn’t having anything to do with Helen’s solo motherhood’s efforts.

And there was me thinking that Helen’s baby kicking would melt Tony’s heart.

What’s it going to take?

2 comments:

ruby said...

I think that tony's heart will melt when the sproglet is born. "oh isn't he/she cute" and all that other guff that grandparents come out with

Inga McVicar said...

I hope so Ruby (Tony and also Peggy).

I can see that they thought it was an unusual thing to do, but what's the point in still being funny with Helen. It's a done deed, and a new life is on the way.