- “The bare faced cheek of some people”
- Mike is still saying no
- Tony doesn’t have a pre-cooler
- Helen needs to realign her knee cap
- Lord Netherborne has had a fall
- Jim and Shula disagree yet again
- Mike say yes!
- “Cherry red suits either a boy or a girl”
- Ambridge has to be shamed into buying poppies
- Actually, Pat is right to be worried
- “Could bring those two giggly girls from Grand Spinney”
[Lynda] “The bare faced cheek of some people”
[Vicky] “Some people want bells on it, don’t they!”
[Lynda] “She’s the type that takes all the toiletries home”
And there, my friends, speaks the true voice of those of us who have to work with customers.
It’s also true with waiters.
Never, ever, be anything other than polite to them.
Mike is still saying no
And so is Kirsty.
But a determined Lynda sets Vicky back onto Mike again.
And we all know what happens when Vicky wants Mike to do something …
Tony doesn’t have a pre-cooler
Which he seemingly should have on his bulk tank. Which sounded like something to do with milking cows.
And of course, it’s all Tom’s fault.
Not because he forgot to buy a pre-cooler, or was in sole charge of the bulk tank – but because they’d never have noticed that they were bereft of a pre-cooler is Tom hadn’t been undertaking:
[Tony] “that blessed energy audit!”
Do we think Tony is transferring his anger/confusion/terror about Helen’s pregnancy onto Tom?
Helen needs to realign her knee cap
Ouch!
Penny Sansom (who looked at Helen’s knee, is seemingly very good, and does the same great job for the County’s cricket team) has confirmed that Helen’s knee is twisted.
Helen now has leg exercises to do,
But. To her absolute horror, she also has to give up step and aerobics.
Blimey.
Surely just carrying around that baby is enough? Maybe with a gentle stroll once in a while?!?
Lord Netherborne has had a fall
So Caroline has rushed off to nurse him.
Caroline and Oliver have been very quiet of late.
is that the call of inheritance …???
Jim and Shula disagree yet again
On the subject of Lord Netherborne,
“I hope he fares better at the hands of his niece than I did with my daughter-in-law”
Jim still hasn’t forgiven Shula for her treatment of him when he broke his leg.
Those two are destined to forever rub each other up the wrong way.
Most of it was before my time – but I do know that Shula was the lady to like back in the day.
Did that really all end when Mark was killed?
Anyway, Shula is now the lady to disapprove of anything remotely a bit edgy. In fact, she disapproves of even the most seemingly innocuous things.
Shula doesn’t want to get involved with Jim’s Race Evening. Even though it was supposed to be in aid of St Stephen’s.
Jim reckons it’s because Shula disapproves of gambling at a charity event. But has Shula been back to Ste Stephen’s since she fell out with Alan over Usha’s religious statue?
But, Shula isn’t the only one to approve of gambling in aid of the church. So Jim has had to change it into a fundraiser for the British Legion. And the race evening is taking place mid-week, after the Brownies.
How completely inoffensive could it get?
Even then, Shula still not in favour. Maybe it doesn’t help that there’s a bar (which Vicky is most happy about).
[Jim] “The way some of her ilk have been going on – you’d think I’d suggested a barn dance in the graveyard”
At which, Lynda gives a sudden gasp.
It isn’t in horror at the thought of dancing on graves, it’s because she an idea which will make a certain man do her bidding …
Mike say yes
Oh, Mike said yes!
Poor man didn’t stand a chance.
When Lynda had her brainwave to include a dance number, he couldn’t say anything other than ‘yes’ to being in the panto.
I think we’d all do the same if we had Vicky snapping at our heels.
Mike could hardly refuse a dance with his (still fairly new) wife. And it is probably easier to give in when you actually have to live with Vicky.
“Cherry red suits either a boy or a girl”
So says Helen. So it must be so.
As Pat is out shopping with Kathy, she spots a baby jumpsuit for Helen’s baby.
Thank goodness at least one of Helen’s family is now genuinely happy for her, and excited about her baby.
Ambridge has to be shamed into buying poppies
What on earth? How very dare Ambridge not behave and do exactly as a respectable English village should.
Go on Jim. Put those poppies next to the till in the Village Shop. Shame them all!
Actually, Pat is right to be worried
I thought Pat might have just been being hyper-sensitive to Helen and her eating habits because it is Helen … and eating.
But, I think she might have a point.
Helen is utterly obsessed with calories and exercise.
She wouldn’t entertain a jacket potato to go with her stir fry ( a stir fry she’d already made and eaten for lunch, didn’t finish, and was going to reheat again for her tea).
And because she can’t do all the exercise she wants to (due to her twisted ankle), Helen reckons:
“I’ll have to eat less now that I’m not burning off the calories”
Now that is worrying.
It would seem that as Helen’s baby is growing inside her body, she’s doing her best to minimise her body growing.
That can’t be good for either mum or baby.
“Could bring those two giggly girls from Grand Spinney”
Lynda is getting desperate for her leading ladies.
In her desperation, she even suggests to Vicky that she could:
“Cut the songs and offer the part to Sabrina”
[Vicky] “You’d have a mutiny on your hands!”
Apart from it being Sabrina that would cause the mutiny, Vicky quite rightly asks:
“What sort of panto would it be if the main character didn't sing?”
Dismissing Vicky’s suggestion that Sabrina could just mime, Lynda realises that she’s fast running out of options.
However, despite her desperation, Lynda simply won’t audition “unknowns”.
The very idea! How would we cope with folks we don’t know being in the panto? I mean, there could even be ones not from Ambridge.
The very idea!
Lynda also cuts down her options by also ruling out offering parts to Felpersham Light Opera Society.
That would offend Tristran Hawkshaw. Who both Lynda and Vicky agree is:
“Larry Lovell’s’ mini me”
(eh? Who he???)
Fallon is also not an option as she has so much to deal with (damn it! I have £10 on her)
“I’m usually such a creative problem solver, but I really have run out of ideas”
Oh, the gods do weep.
Come on Lyndee!
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