- Susan’s not as daft as she speaks
- “A select little group”
- Ed calls Oliver
- “covane oeuvre” … maybe not
- “there was far too much riding for my liking”
- Has Usha lost a few IQ points?
- “They were at it all over the place!”
- Brian …ahem … I mean, Brian …no, damn it, I meant Byron!
- No.3 is even nosier
- What was that Jim? You want to be Christine’s garden boy?
- Who is Carinthia Hart?
- All’s well that ends (well), with Susan choosing the book ..
Susan’s not as daft as she speaks
(would normally be ‘as she looks’, but we can’t see her …)
Susan can be quite a canny lady sometimes.
As she and Pat meet at the Book Club:
[Susan] “Pat, it’s not just me is it … this book we’ve had to read … are we really sure it’s made up … it’s all about Brian, isn’t it, you know, that thing he had with …"
[Pat] “… Mandy Beesborough”
Jennifer answers the door to them before they can reveal more.
“A select little group”
No Caroline. No Lynda. Richard Thwaite has a cold. And Joe seems to have disappeared completely.
If word had got round that the book was based on Ambridge folks, I would have thought at least 3 out of those 4 would have been desperate to attend.
And I do hope Joe’s bad cough has returned. Probably best that Richard stayed away, with his “cold”.
Ed calls Oliver
For once it wasn’t Oliver stalking Ed.
Ed’s call even interrupted Oliver watching the tennis (what tennis tournament would that be, then …).
Ed arranges to pop over later on.
At first, Ed is stunned by walking into such a large, tidy house (though I would have thought that would have more to do with seeing it being lived in by the Sterlings rather than the Grundys - flash from the past?).
[Ed] “Somewhere that’s so tidy, and big and quiet …”
Ed reckons he’s absolutely shattered. He somehow didn’t notice this much hassle as when George was born (hmmm … interesting).
So he apologies to Oliver for being short with him, even though Oliver thinks Ed’s doing a “remarkable” job.
And so it came to pass – Ed listened to me (look at my blog from yesterday) and asked Oliver to work with him,
Oliver didn’t miss a beat in saying yes! He’ll be doing one or two afternoon milkings, starting on tomorrow morning (to get his hand back in).
Ed gets an extra hand, Oliver has something to do. So all’s well then?
But, keep an eye on Oliver saying that this would give Caroline “a taste of her own medicine” …
“covane oeuvre” … maybe not
[Jim] “Hadn’t we better make a start on the covane oeuvre you selected for out delectation?”
[Jennifer] “I feel I should be the first to say that … it wasn’t what quite what I expected … and it may not even be a very good example of its kind … so I think it might be best if we don’t actually focus on this book at all, and talk about the genre.”
Pat jumps in to agree. That they should talk about romantic fiction, chicklit … or ‘henlit', as Jim calls Mistress of the Paddocks
[Jim] “I mean, none of them’s in the first flush”
He reckons ‘Byron’ is well into his forties, and ‘Jinny’ has grown up children.
[Jim] “Oh don’t talk to me about her. What a prize pain she was”
[Pat] “Do you think so? I had a lot of sympathy for her.”
As did Susan.
[Jim] “You must have been reading a different book! Whinging on with her airs and graces and her literary pretentions … no wonder poor old Byron feel for the temptations of the comely Miranda”
[Pat] “Oh I don’t like her at all, even though she was meant to be the heroine”
[Susan] “She was obviously out to get her into hooks into … em …Byron from the start”
[Pat] “Talk about Miranda Birdsaw … Miranda Bedsore!”
Phew! Round one to Pat and Susan – Jinny’s honour is protected, while Miranda’s painted as the village bicycle.
“there was far too much riding for my liking”
So said Jim. And I’m not exactly sure whether he did mean “riding” as in horses, or “riding” as in adult liaisons.
Either way, he was very glad to see the words ‘the end’.
Has Usha lost a few IQ points?
I, at first, mistook Usha talking for Shula talking.
They’re not similar, but Usha kept going on about how she’s never read romantic fiction, but she’d now like to. She even said she wanted to borrow Susan’s Jilly Coopers. BUT later then said she wouldn’t like to read anything like this again.
Eh?
And what on earth was Usha doing thinking it was “clever” that Byron and Jinny literary rode off into the sunset?
As for her take on the “rumpy pumpy”
“They were at it all over the place!”
Jennifer tries to again steer to conversation away from the book, onto more generic topics.
She asks whether it was a good evocation of the countryside – whether, as it was written by a local author, Borchester was recognisable.
[Jim] “Only as the setting for a vast amount of rumpy pumpy
[Usha] “It was pretty torrid stuff”
[Jim] “They were at it over all over the place … barns, woods, behind hedges, horse boxes, the back of his 4x4 …”
[Usha] “I thought that was a bit risky”
What?
Out of choice between the back of a 4x4, or a horse box, surely the 4x4 is a tad more commonplace?
But most of all – how could Usha (a) not have noticed any parallels between Byron and Brian – Jinny and Jennifer (b) Susan blurting out Brian (later on)? She’s a solicitor, for goodness sake! Noticing subtle white lies should be Usha’s bread and butter.
Usha. I’m now officially worried about you.
Brian …ahem … I mean, Brian …no, damn it, I meant Byron!
[Jim, on Jilly Cooper – which he claims never to have read) “Her heroes are attractive rogues, unlike Byron here, they’re not actually callous”
[Usha] “Yes, the bit that got me … was when Byron is at the races with Miranda when Jinny is actually giving birth to the baby that’s supposed to be their make-up baby. Why Jinny still wanted him back after that …”
[Susan] “Well, she loves him, doesn’t she?”
(Usha then calls Jinny a doormat)
[Pat] “I think you have to understand that Jill was very vulnerable at that time”
[Susan] “Exactly, I mean she just had a baby, and Brian … I mean …”
(oooooops!)
[Jennifer, quite frantically] “Biscuits! Biscuits!!! … oh, I forgot to bring them through”
And off she goes, also to get Pat another coffee (at her request), while Susan nips to the toilet.
Jim was a tad miffed as he felt they were just getting going.
[Susan] “Oh Pat, do you think anyone noticed when I said Brian?”
[Pat] “This is awful. We’ll have to do something!”
No.3 is even nosier
That Jonti Waters, though he’s yet to speak for himself, is making folks ever increasingly annoyed.
First a constantly barking dog. Then motorbike revving. And now music, loud and late – also loud and early.
Tom has been round to ask it to be turned down. And seemingly Lilian is writing him a letter.
Well, Brenda will technically be writing it ..
[Jim] “Noise pollution, it’s the scourge of modern life”
Did anyone else ever see Pacific Heights?
What was that Jim? You want to be Christine’s garden boy???
How very kinky.
Who is Carinthia Hart?
After having a momentary group gossip, Pat and Susan tag team to close down the discussion about Mistress of the Paddocks.
That it was rubbish, and they shouldn’t waste anymore time on it.
[Pat] “Airport fiction … caricature characters seething with exaggerated emotions, stereotypical responses …”
[Susan] “Unbelievable plots”
[Usha] “I have to say I quite enjoyed, in a sort of gruesomely fascinated way, but I wouldn’t want to read another like it”
[Jim] “And it doesn’t stand up to proper literary scrutiny”
[Pat] “All credit (to Jennifer) for trying to bring a new author to our attention”
[Usha] “Who is Carinthia Hart anyway?”
[Jim] “It’s obviously a pseudonym”
Bets are on folks!
Who is Carinthia?
I’ll have £10 on it being Christine.
All’s well that ends with Susan choosing the book ..
So, no more book club until September, and Susan is choosing the next book.
I’d normally think that was a bad idea, but she really could only improve on Jennifer’s choice!
[Susan] “Oh! What an evening. I’m shattered!”
As is Pat, but they think they got away with sparing Jennifer’s blushes. Neither Usha nor Jim noticed
Actually – I also hope that Jennifer didn’t notice their efforts. Is she did notice, she certainly wasn’t very grateful!
No comments:
Post a Comment