- Joe’s still keeping a low profile
- Lynda’s not convinced by Joe’s confidence
- Walk of Witness
- Outrageously smug non-smokers
- Jim’s galvanised, Lynda’s mixed
- Grace Kelly or Victoria Beckham
- Jolene doesn’t trust Jamie
- The Book Club’s second meeting
- And the next book is …
Joe’s still keeping a low profile
He seems to now be hiding at the magazine racking in the village shop, rather than at Ed and Emma’s.
This means he has to feign an interest in mountain biking magazines.
May7be he should pay closer attention to the Gardening magazines? Business Magazines? Or ones which can help him with how to successfully create a great scam which won’t backfire, and won’t result in him having to hide next to magazine racking …
Lynda’s not convinced by Joe’s confidence
Joe reckons he knows Robert Harris’ The Ghost.
But all Lynda isn’t that convinced, after asking him what he thought of it.
[Lynda] “You’ll have to do a bit better than ‘interesting’. That hardly constitutes serious debate”
Walk of Witness
Jill mentioned the other day that the Book Club shouldn’t be meeting tonight, as it is Good Friday.
Lynda also has a tinge of ‘is this appropriate’:
[Lynda] “It seems rather frivolous after the walk of witness this morning”
But as Joe points out – not all Ambridge residents are Christians.
Outrageously smug non-smokers
I am utterly appalled.
Appalled that an adult like Jolene can be refused cigarettes in her local shop.
Appalled that her manfriend, Kenton, though he had the right to ask the volunteers at the village shop to refuse to serve her cigarettes.
And appalled that Lynda would then carry out Kenton’s wishes in refusing Jolene.
[Lynda] “He was eager to enlist us to the cause … pack the horrible habit in … you know it makes sense”
Then Lynda started waffling on about how Jolene should use visualisation to help her quit – see herself as a healthy woman without the addiction, and use positivity to help her quit.
Oh for feuck sake!
Jolene will quit when she’s decided she needs to – not when she’s been told to, forced to, by the vest of the village.
Can you imagine Lilian taking this sort of treatment?
Jim’s galvanised, Lynda’s mixed
Jim feels galvanised after Monday’s Gardeners’ Question Time recording.
But Lynda’s had a mixed week.
She’s not too pleased that Leonie is staying with her and Robert next week (even though Robert is very excited). She’s been quit put out that Caroline is going to take on Roy’s duties herself, rather than offering her staff (i.e. Lynda) promotion.
But Lynda did have a rather triumphant time at Gardeners’ Question Time. She’s taken quite a fancy to Matthew Wilson.
[Lynda] “Matthew is a consummate professional .. .charm personified”
Grace Kelly or Victoria Beckham
Kenton has a fantasy of Jolene and myself driving to Monte Carlo, in an open top sports car, with Jolene in a headscarf a la Grace Kelly.
As she’s done so well with not smoking (!!!), he’s bought her a new scarf.
But it would seem it might not have hit the mark. Fallon reckoned the scarf is:
[Fallon] “… very Victoria Beckham”
Is it a tad too tacky and flashy (sorry Victoria!), or is this just generational?
Jolene doesn’t trust Jamie
No surprises there then, but it’s a bit worrying that Jolene now doesn’t even trust Jamie to not turn up with a bunch of his mates at The Bull. Fallon reckons she’ll be fine – as she has Rhys to hand – but it’s a series state of affairs that Fallon has to rely on someone else to protect her and the pub from Jamie.
[Jolene] “ … worried about leaving you with a busy pub an d a wayward teenager … it’s a short step from where he is now to being in serious trouble”
When Jamie later on texts Fallon, after no contact from him for days, Jolene couldn’t care less. She reckons he’s only getting in touch as he now needs somewhere to sleep (eat and get money from), and she’s furious about it.
And quite right too. She’s given him a home and a job, but he doesn’t take any of it seriously.
[Jolene] “Never had so much as an excuse, let alone an apology”
But.
As Fallon reasons, if Jamie doesn’t stay with them – where will he go? They can’t turn him away.
So, Jamie has them over a barrel (gettit!).
Very tiresome indeed. What is one to do with a troublesome teen?
When Jamie does turn up at The Bull, Jolene tries to give him what for:
[Jolene] “Just because you’re my stepson,. Don’t mean I’ll take it from you”
So he promise to “toe the line”, and properly help Fallon while Jolene is away.
Odds on he just continues business as usual …
The Book Club’s second meeting
Tonight’s book, as we all know, is Robert Harris’ The Ghost.
And, as we all also expected, Joe’s tried to be clever by watching the film, instead of reading the book. As also expected, he’s managed to watch the wrong film – Ghost, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg … Queue the hilarity …
[Joe] “The bit where the ghost bit takes over from the other ghost …”
[Jim] “ …Harris themes of puppet and puppet masters”
[Ruth] “I agree with Joe …”
Joe refers to demons – Jim thinks it’s a clever analogy for the CIA.
[Joe] “I don’t remember no sat nav – that ghost helped him on the tube …”
[Lynda] “ politician …”
[Joe] “You mean potter!”
[Joe] “You can’t forget that bit, where they has all that wet and they make a pot”
[Jim] “To the strains of unchained melody, perhaps …”
Sounds like Jim knew all along that Joe wouldn’t read the book, and also probably guessed he’d watch the wrong film.
Ruth was also caught with her pants down – poor woman was agreeing with Joe throughout, and sounded like she also thought Ghost (film) was the same as The Ghost (book). But bless her. She didn’t even him time to cheat by watching the film – she had to rely on memory from a while back.
The majority of the Book Club just laughed it off, especially Jim, but Lynda was outraged:
[Lynda] “That’s typical of you, and I cite the mistletoe debacle on Monday, if you’re going to cheat at least do it properly. And Ruth, I’m surprised at you!”
And the next book is …
Elizabeth Gaskell’s Cranford, as chosen by Lynda.
[Lynda] “And woe betide anyone who watched the boxset instead!”
That’s them told.
2 comments:
V. Beckham looks like a cross between a small rodent and an android, imo!!
Actually I though it was the sunglasses that were 'very VB', though I might have misheard.
CK
Ah - could indeed have been the sunglasses. I tend to switch off at the mention of celebs from after 1980 ... ;-)
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