- It’s a first
- Brian’s question
- Usha’s question
- Jim’s question
- How to Improve your Turf, with Matthew and Lynda
- Neil’s Question
- Jill’s Question
- Kirsty’s Question
- Clarrie’s Question
- Vicky’s Question
- Bert’s Question
It’s a first
For Ambridge, for Gardeners’ Question Time and for me.
Though I potter in the garden, I must admit I’m not that interested in the technicalities. I can plant roughly around the right time, and know to water them once in a while.
So, I’ve never thought to listen in to Gardeners’ Question Time.
I found I quite liked it.
Though that might have had something to do with the Ambridge connection.
And apologies that I haven’t said which of the panel was saying what below (as I haven’t a clue), and also that I didn’t get all of their full answers. Lots of Latin and plants, and stuff…
[Opening of Gardeners’ Question Time] “I’m sitting enjoying a pint of Shires, outside The Bull, in the picture postcard village in Borsestshire. We’re in idyllic village of Ambridge.”
Brian’s question
[Brian] “My daughter Kate lives in South Africa, and actually my wife’s over there visiting her at the moment, so that’s why I’m here, anyway, we thought it’d be lovely to create a south African border in our garden so we can think of Kate and her family whenever we look at it. So do the panel have any planting suggestions?”
[Panel] “How sparky is she? What sort of character is she?”
[Brian] “She’s quite feisty … she’s had a chequered past … as a parent you forgive it in the end, she is a I suppose a free spirit … maybe her wild ways can be reflected in some of the planting you suggest … I know nothing about gardening, Jennifer does all that …”
Panel answer included Red Hot Pokers, Watsonians, Pineapple Plants, Agapanthus, Crocosmia (and probably some others I’ve missed).
Usha’s question
[Usha] “some of my favourite flowers rudbeckia … problems …”
(sorry – I didn’t get all of it, but the basic gist was Usha’s plants were dying).
Panel answer: lift the plant, take the dead stuff out, then replant
Jim’s question
[Jim] “I have a small vegetable plot, that I’d like to expand, so I thought I’d tried edible and flowers growing in the same border. I’d like to know what vegetable I can grow next to me herbaceous and shrubs to make a beautiful display. No broccoli please”
Panel answer: vegetables are competitive (like athletes, who need to grow fast etc), so tend not to go well with herbaceous plants. Ones that will work, and look pretty are: Asparagus, Globe artichokes, Purple sprouting broccoli.
Seemingly Jim look horrified at the suggestion of broccoli. But the Purple type is supposed to taste better.
How to Improve your Turf, with Matthew and Lynda
Matthew’s piece with Lynda was actually quite interesting.
He was telling us some basic tricks to having a good lawn. Which I could have done with a few weeks back, before I bought a fake lawn to put between my garden slabs (long story, but it involves many greyhounds …).
Anyway, in his intro to the piece, Matthew mentioned that Honeysuckle Cottage has a hot tub (quite right, Ian and Craig), and:
[Matthew] “Llamas. That's unusual.”
Anyhoo – he rings on Lynda’s door, and she’s quick to say that it’s 25 years since she and Robert moved to Ambridge (think of the Parish Elections …). Matthew remarks on Lynda’s mirrors and wind chimes (Feng Shui), they tramp over her gravel (which seemingly is a nightmare to keep clean) and it also seems Lynda’s garden slopes down to the river.
Nice.
Not so nice is the scorched grass in Lynda’s garden, due to Scruff. That can seemingly be solved by either following round Scruff with bucket of water, to then “slosh it down”; or by putting charcoal tables in the Scruff’s water.
Then:
[Matthew] “We ought to get a little more hands on ... can we go over to your shed and check out your equipment?”
(ooer – nudge, nudge – wink, wink!)
To aerate ones lawn, one must use a rake – wiggling it about. Which is what Joe saw Lynda doing the other day.
[Matthew] “I need a really good wiggle, come on”
And to get rid of the thatch – one can again use a rake, but it must (must!) be a spring time rake.
If that wasn’t enough great advice, Matthew also reckoned Lynda should plant more camomile as part of her law. A perfect miniature camomile lawn, indeed. And then she can serve it to her guests.
Aha! Wonder if I can get away with that on my lawn. Sounds great, apart from the fact that charcoal tablets don’t actually stop my dogs weeing …
Neil’s Question
(though Neil wasn’t actually at the recording)
Neil: wanted to know about grass that is capable of taking that hammering at the wicket
Panel answer: get the cricket team to drink even more Shires – they then fill a barrel (yup – by peeing in it) - water down the contents of the barrel – then sprinkle over the grass just before it rains
“Why buy fertilisers when you have a whole cricket team!”
Who’d have thunk it …
Jill’s Question
[Jill]: (talked about how she’s listened since 1957, with Phil; that Phil had used to have no interest in flowers but became quite a fan) “ … this year without his guidance, no doubt, I’ve had a catastrophe, an established bed which should be vibrant with tulips … Tulip Fire?”
Panel answer: Yes
Kirsty’s Question
[Kirsty]: “Borsestshire Wildlife Trust … we're always asking people to encourage wildlife in their gardens ... bird eat insects, rabbits and deer eats the leaves ... planting suggestions to encourage the widest range of wildlife in our gardens?”
Panel answer: don't plant double flowers, as they’re sterile; have piles of rotting logs; put thorny branches wrapped in newspapers, in hedges; don’t have too tidy a garden
Clarrie’s Question
[Clarrie]: “I love lilies. How do i get rid of red lily beetles? And what's the difference between a day lily and a normal lily?”
Panel answer: “squish them”
[Clarrie] “I don’t like doing that”
[Panel] “Do you have anyone who could do the squishing for you?
[Clarrie] “yes”
[Panel] “great squishers?”
[Clarrie] “ ... oh yes!”
(that’ll be Joe, Eddie, Ed and Will that are great squishers)
Panel answer: difference between day lily and normal lily is that they’re two different plants
Vicky’s Question
[Vicky]: “I want your advice on mistletoe. Earlier this year my neighbour sold me a propagation kit ... what are me chances of successfully growing mistletoe this way?”
Seemingly also Richard Thwaite had also asked the same question, adding that his wife, Sabrina, had paid extra to do Druidical services …
Panel answer: while Joe was right in telling folks to put the seeds on the underside of the branch, his timing was way off. He should have been selling/propagating them in March or April, not January
And did you know why and how mistletoe ends up on trees, or why the seeds need to go on the underside?
It’s the birds. They eat the berries. The seed gets stuck on their beak. Then they wipe it off by scarping it under the branch.
[Panel] “What type of tree (did Joe tell Vicky to put the seeds on)
[Vicky] “The big one ... the oak”
[Panel] “ .. Oak also least likely …”
[Vicky] “So it's not going to work, is it?”
[Panel] “I suspect not ... wrong Druid”
Bert’s Question
[Bert]: “Last year, a neighbour of mine was dragooned at the last minute into being the judge at the flower and produce show ... he didn’t do too badly ... i was wondering if any of the panel have any experience of judging?”
[Panel] “Armoured plating, learn to run quickly and know the exit”
Seemingly, the best advice is not to get involved in judging lower flower shows.
Wonder what Bert’s cunning plan for this year is …?
And after Bert …
“It’s goodbye Ambridge and good gardening”
(there was another piece on something to do with gardens and bugs (I think), but I must admit I wasn’t interested. I wouldn’t turn off Gardeners’ Question Time if I stumbled on it again, but wouldn’t make an effort to listen. But I’m not complaining – quite an interesting/amusing way to spend 40 odd minutes).
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