- Ambridge’s Jubilee Royal Oak
- Harry’s irritating Jazzer even when he’s not around
- Lent ahoy …
- Trouble for Topper
- Say no to the Ambridge Mega Dairy
- Jazzer comes before the cows
- Battling BL Propaganda
Ambridge’s Jubilee Royal Oak
Has been planted by Alan and the kids.
[Jill] “It came in a beautiful hessian bag with red white and blue tissue”
Though they don’t know exactly what Royal estate the acorn originally came from.
Jill shocks Shula by saying that she’ll not be around to see the tree go – though she may see it if she gets to her hundreds:
[Jill] “and get my own royal seal of approval”
Harry’s irritating Jazzer even when he’s not around
Poor Jazzer.
We still haven’t heard Harry utter a sound in an age – but he’s still managing to annoy Jazzer.
Jazzer’s in The Bull for a few pints, and was asking Fallon how many women are bidding for Harry in the Promise Auction.
Quite a few, it would seem.
Not that Jazzer is jealous …
[Jazzer] “Just interested to hear how many deluded women there are in the world”
Though he does seem a tad ‘disappointed’ that Fallon is also bidding. As is more or less every women in the village.
[Fallon] “Reckon I’m going to have a fight on my hand”
[Jazzer] “I just don’t want ye to make fools of yourselves … You’ve gone wet in the heid!”
[Fallon] “Or weak in the knees”
Jazzer’s disgust is palpable. Fallon suggests if he cares so much, may he should offer his services for the promise Auction as well.
[Jazzer] “Joking ain’t ye? I’m no a piece of meat, you know!”
Ruth comes into The Bull, so Fallon asks her if she’s going to bid for Harry.
[Fallon] “Fancy letting him dig over your flower beds?”
[Ruth] “Well I wouldn’t say no!”
[Jazzer] “In the name of the wee man, are you all on heat or something?!?”
Poor Jazzer. In Harry’s shadow when he’s not even around to cast it.
Lent ahoy …
[Jill] “Not bread and cheese again I hope. I missed my Sunday roasts”
[Alan] “I thought with so much austerity about, rather than asking people to give something up I’d suggest that they do something instead… so that it’s not quite so negative”
Thank goodness for that.
I don’t think I could have coped with another Eddie and Joe Grundy scam/farce …
But the twist is that Alan’s not saying (yet) what the “something” he wants folks to so will be.
Trouble for Topper
(Nigel’s horse, which they’d sold (much to Freddie’s pain), though was at least stabled at Shula’s)
Shula gat a call from the chap who’d bought Topper (sounded like a Mr Stevis). He says his wife is ill, and he can no longer afford the livery.
Shula is very upset about it. It’ll mean they’ll have to find someone else to buy Topper, which will likely mean he’ll not longer be stabled with her. And she sees Topper as being part of the family.
She also knows Freddie will be devastated. Even though he has his own pony, he still spends time with Topper when he’s at the stables.
[Shula] “Topper’s still Nigel’s’ horse, mum. Freddie hasn’t just forgotten about him … he likes knowing he’s there. This will just break his heart all over again”
Ach come on – Elizabeth’s loaded! Just buy Topper back, and all will be well.
Say no to the Ambridge Mega Dairy
Is what Ruth (and Pat’s) posters say – encouraging folks to sign their online petition.
Fallon had said yes to Ruth putting the posters up in The Bull, but Jolene asks Ruth to take them back down.
[Jolene] “No offense Ruth, but I don’t want to annoy anyone”
Ruth’s fine about it, though Fallon reckons it’s a shame. She thinks The Bull is the ideal place – as it’s where folks “talk about everything anyway”.
But, Jolene already has rules about what can and can’t go up in The Bull.
[Jolene] “I just don’t want the pub getting involved”
Jazzer comes before the cows
Jazzer isn’t really for or against the Super Dairy.
[Jazzer] “Fuss ower nothing if you ask me. If it’s a choice between trudging roon in the mud and rain like I have to, or working in a nice warm shed … Everyone’s so concerned about the poor cows. What about us ordinary folks?”
He also reckons he couldn’t afford milk if he didn’t get it for nothing at work.
(eh? But he can afford pints of beer!)
Ruth’s shocked. He works at Grange Farm, which has an ethos completely opposite to the Super Dairy. But Jazzer agrees with Mike that the Super Dairy will be going after a different market, so his job should be safe enough.
Typical Jazzer indeed. As long as he’s fine, nothing else really scrapes a mention.
Battling BL Propaganda
Jolene tells Ruth that while she can’t put the ‘No’ Super Dairy posters up, Ruth could obviously try the old phone box and also the village website … though Ruth hadn’t been aware that there was already a Super Dairy article up on it.
When Ruth sees the article, she’s furious. It’s hardly a balanced article (making much of the onsite vets, but makes no mention that higher numbers of cows go lame and get mastitis). Ruth reckons the website article is just like the BL leaflets and “flashy” website.
[Ruth] “They’ve got so many resources. Are you sure I can’t just put up a poster? Otherwise we’ll get drowned by BL propaganda”
[Jolene, still saying no the posters, but …] “Seems to me the village website should be a bit like the pub. It’s biased, isn’t it? It should at least show your side of the argument too”
Quite right Jolene.
Jennifer should have known better.
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