- Lilian doesn’t like ugly food
- Lilian and Matt are pro Super Dairy
- Still laughing at Lynda and her Llamas
- Sabrina wants Harry to strip off
- Eddie ‘the shark’ Grundy
- £723 raised for Britain in Bloom
- Jim’s cider formula
- Tom’s going on. Again.
Lilian doesn’t like ugly food
Tom’s delivering Lilian’s veg box.
[Lilian] “What’s that ugly thing under the leeks?”
It’s celeriac, which Lilian reckons she’ll give to Jennifer.
[Lilian] “To be honest, a lot of it goes to waste, especially when it’s very muddy. I vet it out of loyalty really, left to myself I’d live off of titbits from Underwoods food hall. Still, Matt likes a square meal, so I make the effort”
Tom asks Lilian whether she would like the veg boxes more, and waste less, if the boxes had more “exotic” things like chili, aubergines and blueberries.
(Exotic? Really?)
[Lilian] “Blueberries are supposed to keep you alive forever”
Or at least able to keep you alive a bit longer if you’re overtly fond of G&Ts …
Lilian and Matt are pro Super Dairy
As Brian mention the other day.
Lilian tells Tom that they’re in favour because it’ll create jobs. And create more work for the construction industry.
No self-interest involved there then!
Still laughing at Lynda and her Llamas
Which I think is cruel.
[Eddie] “Who in their right mind could think a Llama could do an even job of cutting the grass … mind you, dad would have fancied their droppings for his veg patch”
[Mike] “Llama beans!”
Oh ha ha.
Sabrina wants Harry to strip off
In fact, she’s asked him to wit to do his 4 hours with her until it gets hot.
Saucy!
[Eddie] “Women used to think of me like that”
[Mike] “Yeah. Now they ask you to keep it on”
Eddie ‘the shark’ Grundy
Mike’s showing Eddie what water feature Vicky has chosen.
It’s called a Trevi. So Vicky’s now going on about Roman Holiday …
So now that Vicky has chosen her water feature:
[Eddie] “I’d prefer cash if that’s alright …or a cheque, made out to me”
Mike’s stunned.
[Mike] “What do you want, the shirt of me back? … You’re a shark Eddie.”
Well we all saw it coming.
Eddie meant to offer his labour, not to pay for the whole thing.
And what do they expect? Clarrie’s on the dole, for goodness sake.
£723 raised for Britain in Bloom
From the Promise Auction, which is great. Though no one knows where the £3 came from.
And it’s meant they don’t have to even consider Brian’s offer for BL to sponsor.
[Jim] “I’d rather we raised our own money than took Borchester Land’s shilling”
Jim’s cider formula
Jim’s telling Mike that the Cider Club are now filling out their forms. But, they still need to agree a %.
Mike’s horrified to hear that Joe was asking for 80%, though Jim got him down to 70%
[Mike] “You see that’s greedy … 50/50 more like”
Mike then mentions that Jim needs to create a formula to make it fair. An idea which Jim gets very excited about.
Jim goes away to do a few sums, and calls an urgent meeting of the Cider Club.
(I never knew Lilian was a member, by the way. Doesn’t seem she’s been doing much to earn cider from the Community Orchard …)
We then spend the next few hours (or so it seemed) listening to Jim presenting the new formula that’ll fairly solve who gets how much cider.
I’ll admit I went to sleep for most of it. Jim was waffling on about pictorial representations and circle graphs and the like. The few snippets I did catch:
[Lilian] “Pretty colours!”
[Jim] “Working on the principle of Pythagorean principle …”
[Lilian] “Oh, quotient groups eh?”
[Jim] “Does that answer your question Mike?”
[Mike] “I don’t know”
At the end – Jim had worked out that, according to his complex formula, the Grundys get 60%, everyone else 40% pro rata.
[Mike] “Well you’ve been round the letters of the alphabet, I suppose it’s fair”
[Joe] “You're looking gormless Mike Tucker”
[Mike] “I’m not sure what happened there …”
Lilian and Jim go off to get more drinks in.
She’s having a guffaw.
[Lilian] “Where did you study? The university of hokum?!?”
Ha!
Well done Jim. All sorted.
Though that was mighty dull eavesdropping …
Tom’s going on. Again.
This time about expanding the poly tunnels. Again.
[Tony] “ I can’t just magic up new produce”
[Tom] “So we can capitalise on this window of change!”
[Tony] “Do you remember than time when you wanted to produce organic nuggets and kebabs!”
But Tom reckons they were just novelty ideas.
[Tom] “Now is the opportunity, this is a revolutionary time for the Ambridge Organic brand and you want to talk about nuggets!”
[Tony] “Seems I can’t even have a joke with my son anymore …”
[Tom] “You obviously think it’s all a joke. I’m telling you, the veg is the weak link in the operation”
[Tony] “Don’t you dare patronise me Tom,. It's all very well this big talk, but who’s paying for these shiny new tunnels eh. I’m already in hock to Lilian and the bank!”
[Tom] “Oh just forget it”
And Tom storms off.
He later returns, to ask Tony (again) and tidying the year.
Tony agrees that it will get done. But he is more interested in treating one of his cow’s foot which has a blister. He’s using arnica and witch hazel.
At least there’s one farmer in the family.
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