- Neil’s final stroke … or not
- Will and Nic’s luxurious Valentine’s Night
- Alice and Chris’ low budget Valentine’s Night
- Keeping the Royal fires burning
- Lynda’s a Master
- The Parish Council on the Super Dairy
Neil’s final stroke … or not
Bert’s pouring his thanks and deepest gratitude onto Neil for all the work he’s done on his (and Tracey’s … unknown to Neil and Susan) house.
Tracey hasn’t been getting on so well with her and the kids’ room. Seems that though the kids are on half term, they’re help with the painting wasn’t of much help:
[Bert] “No. That didn’t end happy. Just as well it were emulsion. We’d never have got that much gloss out of Chelsea’s hair … it were Brad, tried to use her as a paintbrush”
But that’s not Neil’s problem.
He makes his “final stroke” and heads off to the Parish Council Meeting.
But, on returning from the Parish Council meeting to Bert’s (to take the masking tape off), Bert is still waxing lyrical … he has an agenda.
[Bert] “Transformed this place, you have. I’d never have thought it possible … it’ll see me out, I reckon … there is just one thing … with everything else looking so grand … the hall. I can’t help thinking it’s made it look real dingy, in comparison like”
[Neil, smelling more work ahoy] “Well, it’s a case of where you draw the line, innit”
(Innit? Innit??? When did Mr Neil Carter start saying “innit”???)
[Bert] “Oh, shame to spoilt the ship for a ha'pworth of tar”(which is something about spoiling something by prioritising a small saving).
And anyway, Bert reckons having the hall done “would see me out proper”.
Emotional blackmail. Difficult to sidestep.
So Neil agrees to also do the hall.
[Neil] “But that’s it then, definitely”
Ha! Even Neil can’t believe that one.
Will and Nic’s luxuriousValentine’s Night
Involves Will looking smart, and a four course meal at The Feathers (with champagne).
Will also gave Nic a pair of lovely earrings.
[Chris] “Yeah, after this you can coast for the next 30 years!”
At Nic and Will’s meal, Nic gets a bit overexcited.
[Nic] “Oh my god! It’s a work of art … I’ve never seen anything like it, at least not on a plate”
But there’s more. Nic's a bit worried about having another glass of champagne as they haven’t discussed who is driving home,
But she needn’t worry. Will’s sorted it.
[Will] “We’re going to stay here. I’ve booked us a room”
Clarrie’s over at theirs looking after the kids, so Will and Nic are free to enjoy a night away.
Nic reckons she’s being spoilt:
[Nic] “No you’re no. Nothing can spoil you. You're perfect”
Aw. Sweetness itself.
My word, how Will has changed.
Thank Nic!
Alice and Chris’ low budget Valentine’s Night
[Alice] “We’re doing it low budget stylely”
They got a DVD, and Double Happiness
(the name of the Chinese restaurant they’ve got a takeaway from, not something kinky)
[Nic] “Oh lovely. A cosy takeaway in front of the telly”
Though Nic wouldn’t quite be ready to swap it for her swanky night out.
Alice also tells Chris to keep his money in his pocket when some bloke (with, what I imagine, is a bucket of roses) offers them to him and Will for the ladies. £4 Alice would rather he saved.
Later, back at home, Alice discovers that Chris has made decorations:
[Alice] “beautiful like a real oriental restaurant”
And the man carved carrot!
[Alice] “Much better than some hot house rose wrapped in cellophane”
Keeping the Royal fires burning
At the Parish Council meeting, they’re talking about celebrations for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee.
Lynda’s keen for a beacon.
Seems on the 4th of June, there will be beacons lit across the UK, starting with the Queen setting one alight. All Ambridge needs to do is apply to be one of the 2012.
[Jill] “That’s a lot, isn’t it?”
But seems they had 1800 for the Golden Jubilee.
Lynda’s a Master
Along with the beacon:
[Neil] “Oh there’s a job .. pageant master. Not many of those about!”
[Lynda] “Well I do to think of myself as Ambridge’s unofficial pageant master …”
The plan would be to have the beacon on Lakey Hill.
Which, as Jill pointed out, they’d done for the Silver. Oddly, Lynda seem to be irritated at Jill saying anything during this meeting.
When Lynda said she’d contact David for permission to use Lakey Hill
[Jill] “Or I could .. he is my son”
[Lynda] “No, as I am, as it were, beacon master”
[Neil] “Mistress”
[Lynda] “Or indeed mistress … I think it best that we go through official channels”
Eh? Why is Lynda trying to shut Jill out?
Anyhoo – they get onto who should build the beacon (Mike), and whether they should hold their own pageant. But they don’t want to clash with the official one, so settle on a street party (on the green – the ‘street’ but doesn’t matter, it would seem) type picnic just before or after the official celebrations.
There was murmurs of approval from the rest of the committee for that.
Jill and Audrey are to organise the party (which Lynda didn’t object to – she is being very inconsistent tonight), and they’ll also dig out the maypole from under the village hall stage.
Marvellous.
Proper Britishness (without the jingoism).
The Parish Council on the Super Dairy
Well, we didn’t really get to hear what was said. Just the post discussion discussion.
[Neil] “I’m just saying Borchester Land have a light to be heard … there is an argument for this type of unit”
[Lynda] “Yes, a financial one”
But they will hear BL out anyway at another meeting. And Jill’s definitely going to be there.
[Jill] “Pat rang me earlier. Geeing me up. I was going to be there anyway!”
Quite right. Jill was the original agitator, after all.
[Lynda] “I think it’s vital anyone opposed to this plan, which is really anyone who cares a jot about animals or the environment, needs to be there. Borchester Land have money and resources on their side. We need to match them. If we can”
There we go.
BL has nae chance. Lynda and Jill have joined the affray!
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