Ambridge Extra Tuesday 26th April 2011: Chas “helps people like you”

click the title above, or 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Rhys speaks
• Harry doesn’t speak
• Jamie’s back in The Bull
• Is Jolene still a step-mum?
• Rhys is the new man in Jamie’s life
• Alice should be feeling guiltier … right about … now
• What would Chris rather watch?
• Polly has already moved on
• Yup – Chas is a bad ‘un
• Spence and Pip, thwarted again

Rhys speaks

And he has a Welsh accent that would put Pat to shame …



Harry doesn’t speak

What’s wrong with the normally very chatty Harry?

He was working in The Bull today (Sunday, so it seems), but not a peep out of him.

Odd.



Jamie’s back in The Bull

But only after Fallon told him that said they “were worried not angry”

Does every adult in Ambridge have to pander to Jamie?

Quick kick up the bottom would have more results.


Is Jolene still a step-mum?

Fallon mentioned that with Sid being dead, Jolene is kinda not Jamie’s step mum anymore.

Eh?

Course she is.

Just like the fact that a tree does make a sound when it falls over, even if no-one is there to hear it.

Oh … hang on a moment … does it?



Rhys is the new man in Jamie’s life

Poor chap.

Rhys has barely uttered a few words, and he’s already being usurped into becoming the positive male role model for Jamie, by Fallon.

He does happily agree. After all, the blokes Jamie hangs around with aren’t very good chaps.

[Rhys] “None of them are exactly Zen masters”

Rhys later has a chat with Jamie – all matey, like.

He did feel like he was taking a bit too far, though. At one point, I thought he was going to ask whether Marty’s intentions towards Jamie were honourable and how he was going to support Jamie (well, he did ask him if Marty was local, what his parents were like etc etc).

But Jamie did seem to enjoy the attention.

And Rhys really bonded with Jamie over gaming.

My word – could Rhys be the answer to all of our Jamie nightmares?



Alice should be feeling guiltier … right about … now

Post adult intimacy, Chris apologies for “being an idiot” over the Facebook video.

He accepts that Alice didn’t want that bloke all over her.

And he’d glad Chas was there to sort him out.

[Chris] “He’s a good lad, Chas”

What would Chris rather watch?

I didn’t quite catch that.

Chris isn’t too excited about the Royal wedding.

[Chris] “If I had the day off, I’d rather watch machete”

I’m sure he didn’t say ‘machete’.

Anyone?



Polly has already moved on

Jamie and Daniel are chatting about Polly.

It seems that Jamie did really like her, but couldn’t stand up to Steve when he was taking the Michael out of Polly’s name.

But not to worry.

[Daniel] “She’s already seeing a boy in year 12, so you haven’t broken her heart”

Bigger question is – is some of Jamie’s behaviour down to being bullied by Steve?

It certainly seemed it later on.

As Jamie is back working at The Bull, Steve reckons he can pay him back the £30 he owes. Jamie reckons the vodka he stole for them should offset some of the debt – but Steve reckons not so. That was just Jamie being a mate.

As Jamie doesn’t have ready cash on him (he’s only just started working again), Steve reckons Jamie can pay in more cigarettes and booze.

And Jamie, quite meekly, agrees.

Sounds like bullying to me.



Yup – Chas is a bad ‘un

Chas is talking to a woman called Diane.

Diane’s ex lost his job last year – she has 3 kids – the maintenance stopped – she’s behind in rent – the washing machine’s packed up – and she’s up to limit on credit cards.

At first, I was wondering if Chas worked for Citizens Advice. Or the dole office.

But no.

It’s a scam.

It seems that Chas (and other students) get their student loans, which they don’t financially need.

[Chas] “Then we see if we can use it to help people like you who’ve got themselves into a bit of a financial black hole… it’s like giving something back”

It’s a very friendly, easy way for Diane to get some money. No credit checks or paperwork.
But, of course, Chas has to charge more interest than the banks …

So, Chas gives Diane £1000. In 3 months, Diane has to pay back Chas £1200.

And I wonder what the penalties are if she misses payment?

Either way, Chas doesn’t seem to be a very nice person at all.



Spencer and Pip, thwarted again

Spencer and Pip bump into each other after he’s been out riding.

(he’s got his new jodhpurs – not jumpers, which I though he’d said the other day, but was corrected by @eddie_grundy on twitter).

[Spencer] “Now I can ride … I almost said … without scaring the horses …”

[Pip] “… in decent company”

As they’re gently flirting, and getting round to asking each other out on a wee walk, Chris comes along to interrupt.

Getting rid of Chris, they go for a very nice and peaceful walk. With Spencer seeming more and more perfect for Pip.

He knows a grey partridge when he sees it – he’s heard of Brian Aldridge, and the new mart – he already knows of, and appreciates, Lakey Hill.

But then, just when they’re getting (quite respectably) close, Rhys quite literally runs into them on his bike.

What a wee shame.

But nice to have two nice teens, being nice and maybe heading for something nice.

Ah! More of this might have made Ambridge Extra a bit more palatable for us (slightly) older yins.

I’m not sure how much more I can take of utterances like:

[Steve] “Alright. I’ll catch you later bruv. Laters”