Wednesday 14 December 2011

Lighting Up on The Green: The Archers Thursday 8th December 2011

  • That Tristam Hawkshaw!
  • The walrus doesn’t impress Vicky
  • Don’t mess with Neil’s armchair
  • The Ambridge Organics prelims are in
  • What Scottish ditty will Jazzer sing?
  • Mince Pie related failure
  • Worried about Peggy



That Tristam Hawkshaw!

Seems all of FLOSS (Felpersham Light Opera Society) are pulling out of Christmas Around the World. Well, the few that had agreed to do it in the first place.

[Lynda] “Tristam Hawkshaw has been ringing with excuses all week … and now the only two tenors who can hold a tune have fallen out over a mezzo soprano”
But not to worry – Alan and a group of parishioners to the rescue, with a selection of carols.


The walrus doesn’t impress Vicky

[Vicky] “It’s a very small walrus Lynda, for a stage prop”

[Lynda] “ It was meant to be basking on a distant flow. To give a sense of perspective while we girls danced the seal sarabond”

[Vicky] “Well it’s certainly eye catching, the way the tusks seem to fallow you round the room”

Lynda’s table decoration won’t be entered into the competition, as that wouldn’t be fair. She’s the organiser, after all.

And she has a walrus.


Don’t mess with Neil’s armchair

Neil is livid.

[Neil] “Without even asking, Susan. I nearly let rip … The armchair is there for a reason!”

[Susan] “To be fair Neil, she hasn’t moved it that far … it’s been in the same spot since we bought it”

[Neil] “I lined it up perfectly. So when I do get a chance to sit down the sun isn’t in my eyes, it’s at a good angle for the telly and if I want a can I just reach out to the side table”

Susan is trying to reason with Neil, until she finds out that the kids had been using her new (new!) rose lampshade for a hat!

She is not amused.

[Neil] “We worked hard all our lives to enjoy living here Susan, and now we’re being crowded out of our own home”

[Susan] “I like having her around, she’s better company than any of my brothers”

[Neil] “So are most of my pigs … I feel mean, but they’re driving me crackers!”

Susan concurs (I mean to say, that new rose lampshade might be marked!), and wants them to move into No.6 The Green with her dad and Gary. That’d mean they’d have somewhere to live that isn’t the Carters’, and Susan wouldn’t have to look after both households.

Perfect.

Neil wonders whether No.6 is big enough – but, as Susan points out, Bert and Ivy managed to bring up their brood in it. Which gets Neil thinking about how he can help modify the house to cope.

[Susan, warmed by Neil’s generosity] “Going to all that trouble for my sister”

[Neil] “Believe me, I’d go to a lot more trouble if it means getting them out of the house”

Neil isn’t too happy that they won’t start their plans to move on Tracey until after Christmas, but it is fairly close now. Will they all survive in the meantime?

And more importantly – will we ever know if that lampshade was harmed in the making of the kids’ dressing up?


The Ambridge Organics prelims are in

Pat couldn’t care less.

Helen seems to think they’re okay. As does Tom.

[Helen] “At least it feels like we’re slowly making some sort of progress”

Pat’s disinterest hasn’t gone unnoticed.

[Tom] “I feel sorry for her … it must be really difficult opening up old wounds”

But he hasn’t changed his mind about getting in touch with Sharon. Much to Helen’s relief.

Pat to reveal the truth at Christmas dinner?


What Scottish ditty will Jazzer sing?

Lynda has got Jazzer to agree to sing rather than recite (she’s very low on musical acts). He’s going to sing a traditional Scottish Folk Song.

It could be as lovely as the one he did at Ambridge Has Talent.

Or, it could be a slightly earthier ditty …


Mince Pie related failure

The point of Lighting Up is that the start with The Bull, then work through all the houses around the green – each turning on their Christmas lights in turn.

As we know, Joe’s doing Jim’s while Jim is comparing.

But Joe literally lets the side down. Jim’s light are late in coming on, so hold up that whole side of the green.

[Jim] “Mince pie related … fortifying himself with some free ones from The Bull”

And, Joe dropped one of the pies onto Jim’s carpet in his haste to try and get the lights on.

Tsk tsk Mr Grundy elder. You only had one job to do…


Worried about Peggy

We haven’t heard from her in a while, and mentions of her sprained ankle seem to be on the increase.

Silence and any sort of illness is never a good sign …

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