Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Jazzer moves in with Christine: Tues 02.10.12

The Archers Tuesday 2nd October 2012
  • Jim helps distract Bella
  • Shula’s still looking after Reg and Bunty
  • Jim wants to prove Christine wrong
  • Jazzer emotionally blackmails Christine …
  • I agree with Tom
  • Tom Archer’s wants to expand

Jim helps distract Bella

Alistair is tending to one a horse, using Jim to distract her while he works.

Jim’s distraction technique is to look at her …

… interesting.

Anyhoo, it seemed to work. Though it seems Jim is not a natural when it comes to horses.

[Jim] “I hope you enjoyed my discomfort.”

Shula’s still looking after Reg and Bunty

She was away shopping for them today.

That must still be a real strain.

Jim wants to prove Christine wrong

Christine’s plan of challenging Jim into writing articles for Borchester Life seems to have worked.

(why did Christine feel the need to get involved? I’m not sure. She either wants to help Jim find something to occupy himself so that he feels more fulfilled – or she wants Jim to find something to occupy himself so that he isn’t always round hers, eating the biscuits).

So, Jim is now determined to:

[Jim] “Show Christine I'm not the desiccated academic she sometimes takes me for.”

He’s talking to Alistair about how he’ll need to select an “interesting” Ambridge person to write about.

[Jim] “And then I thought of you … I hoped you might suggest someone.”


Jim would like to interview a craftsman or an artists (rather than a vet, obviously). He wondered whether Maurice Horton would be the chap – him being a master butcher, and all that.

 [Alastair] “No, he’s a lovely chap, but people read Borchester Life for a light read, not existential angst.”

Jim then wonders about Mike.

He has the micro dairy. And manages the woods.

But, as we all know, Mike has quite a lot to contend with at the moment.

[Jim] “Is it really the right time to ask him?”

[Alastair] “I’d be glad to talk about something else for once, instead of having to focus on becoming a father again the whole time.”

Jazzer emotionally blackmails Christine …

Well, not quite outright, but not very subtly neither.

He passes by Christine’s, and just so happens to mention that he’s off to a homeless shelter.

Seems Matt has thrown him out.

Christine is horrified.

[Jazzer] “Don’t fash yourself, it’s only for a day or two.”

Jazzer wants to leave a bag at hers, and also begs a cup of tea.

Over tea, and some of Christine’s marvellous home baked biscuits, Christine wonders why Jazzer hasn’t gone to a friend’s house.

[Jazzer] “I can’t just land myself on a friend's doorstep and hope they’ve got a decent heart, can?”

Erm, I suppose not.

(But what about his mum’s? She doesn’t live that far away, and was fine enough for Jazzer before he moved in with Harry. Everyone seems to have forgotten that …)

So, Jazzer turns the charm, and begs a three night stay at Christine’s. He reckons she won’t even know she’s there, what with him being up so early, and out at work. Jazzer paints himself as the person house guest.

[Jazzer] “Apart from my wee obsession … tidying up after maeself!!”


Christine being Christine, her charity and hospitality is too strong to say no to him.

So, Jazzer settles in at Christine’s … biscuits, then pork and tatties.

Cheeky monkey.

Though Christine regrets marking Jazzer comfortable almost as soon as he settles.

[Christine] “I know. I keep asking myself how it happened.”

[Jim] “Hypnosis.”

[Christine] “But he's driving me crackers already. He’s virtually emptied the fridge.”

AND he finished the biscuits.

Though not to worry. Jim reckons he has a plan …

I agree with Tom

Talking about the Christmas show, Tom reckons he’d have been happy with a “proper panto.”

I do hate to agree with him … but hear, hear!

Tom Archer’s wants to expand


Ignoring that Brenda ran screaming (on the excuse of getting printer ink)  from the Dower house because of Matt and Lilian’s rows, Tom’s rambling on yet again about business.

He still needs a kitchen to fulfil his ready meal orders. The unit next to where he does his sausages (and the like) has come up, which he reckons would be perfect.

But, he can’t afford the unit until he makes money from the ready meals. And he can’t make the ready meals without the unit.

[Brenda] “Your first priority is flexibility.”

Well, not Tom’s strong point. Though Brenda has a good point that he shouldn’t tie himself down with too much cost. Tom reckons he needs to push on, Brenda’s worried he’ll go bust.

[Tom] “I’ll be in total control!  … it'd put the Tom Archer brand in a  great place to   expand.”

Odds on Tom ignoring Brenda’s very sensible advice.

Why is he so surprised that she’s not that keen to marry him?

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