Friday, 30 November 2012

James burns bacon: Mon 19.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Monday 19th November 2012
  • What’s Borchester Life about?
  • James had to nurse Leonie
  • Mike can’t be seen in the same jumper
  • Lilian pops in to see Darrell (aye right!)

What’s Borchester Life about?

[Vicky] “Well it’s, you know, life, in Borchester … And now my Mike’s going to be in it. Isn’t it wonderful!”

Darrell seems keener to get to work. He’d only popped into the shop for a snack.

James had to nurse Leonie

Though his leg is no better, he’s up and trying to cook bacon. For Leonie. Who has a hangover.

[James] “She’s feeling a bit fragile this morning.”

Seems Leonie and James were up late last night, to the point where Matt had to tell them to shut up.

[James] “Leonie was starting to get my like for Phil Collins.”

(oh, there’s just nae need!)

James tries to take the blame. He thinks his body clock is out of whack, as he’s not doing enough to make him tired. So Leonie was just trying to keep him entertained.

Pity it involved so much alcohol …

James is on crutches, so couldn’t carry Leonie’s bacon sandwich to her. So, he decides to put it in a bag (which I think it actually quite clever … for James). While he’s trying to find a bag, he burns the bacon.

[Lilian, quite decidedly unamused] “Would you like me to make Leonie a sandwich?”

Lilian also has to throw out the pan because of the burnt bacon.

Which shows how rich she is. Surely a wee bit of scrubbing would have got it back good as new?

Anyhoo – Leonie’s a witch, James is a simpering numpty.

Enough said.

Mike can’t be seen in the same jumper

Though he’s insistent he wears the same clothes for each of his different jobs, Vicky is insisting he has to wear different clothes for the Borchester Life photoshoot.

Why can’t Mike wear what he normally wears?

[Vicky] “It’d look like you’ve only got one set of clothes.”

[Mike] “I can’t be in the woods looking like a tailor’s dummy!”

Mike just wants to wear his favourite fleece.

[Vicky] “If you wear that I swear I’ll divorce you for mental cruelty.”

Mike really hasn’t got a choice. He accepts that Vicky will make him wear different clothes for each bit of the photoshoot. And that she’ll buy him new clothes. But it has to be something like a “nice” jumper, rather than jackets or anything “too posh”.

“Too posh” would be laughed at by his cronies down The Bull. Even though few of them are likely to read Borchester Life …

When the photographer arrives, as they’re in the dairy, he’s disappointed that Mike isn’t wearing a white coat and peaked hat.

[Mike] “This ain't the 1950s!”

Vicky may have got her way with the clothes, but she isn’t content leaving Mike and the photographer to it.

She unruffles Mike’s hair. Right in shot.

When they’re later in the woodland, she’s again in shot.

[Vicky] “I was thinking, I could be bringing Mike a message … it seems a shame, how often do you get a professional photographer round?”


Vicky wants a piece of the action.

And she also now wants Mike to wear foundation …

[Mike] “There’s no way your make up bag is coming anywhere near me!”

Lilian pops in to see Darrell (aye right!)

Lilian reckons she just wants to see how Darrell is getting on in his new job.

He’s a very happy chappy indeed, doing the type of work he trained for in the first place. Dovetail joints, cutting wood by hand and the like.

[Darrell] “You don’t get to do a lot of stuff these days.”

But what’s this … here’s Paul!

He shows Lilian round the site, then they go off to lunch. Which is interrupted by James calling for paracetamol for Leonie.

Paul’s an understanding sort of chap. He also has kids (though admits he doesn’t get to see them often).

[Lilian] “Just talking to you makes things so much easier.”

[Paul] “That’s nice”

[Lilian] “It’s so lovely to be with someone on the same wavelength. Someone who cares.”

[Paul] “Lilian, if you ever, you know, need me, to talk, don’t hesitate.”

[Lilian] “I won’t. Thank you.”

Lilian is really quite a simple lady.

Just genuinely care, and listen to her.

(though are we entirely confident Paul is genuine?)

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