Saturday, 23 March 2013

Alan needs more money (again): Tues 19.03.13 #thearchers

The Archers Tuesday 19th March 2013
  • It’s Donkey time!
  • Jim’s a busy chap
  • Shula still thinks it was her fault
  • Jim being clever backfires
  • Alan wants the Church to give
  • Chris wants to stay … or go?

It’s Donkey time!

I do love St Stephen’s tradition of having a real donkey in for Easter.

Seems they’re choosing a donkey called Belinda, who has “beautiful” eyes and lashes.

[Jim] “Terrible teeth though.”

[Shula] “She is a donkey!”

[Jim] “Don’t you think have a real donkey in church is a hostage to fortune.”

[Alan] “It’s worth the risk if it brings the story alive.”

Jim reckons they would be safer with a panto donkey.

[Alan] “Are you volunteering?”

[Jim] “To make an ass of myself?”

Well, if the donkey suit fits …

… and as they point out, Lynda has form. There’s the double act.

Jim’s a busy chap

[Alan] “It’s the active retired that keep a village going these days.”

[Shula] “Well, he’s given Aunty Chris a new lease of life.”

Shula still thinks it was her fault

Shula still feels guilty for Chris getting hurt. She reckons she was the client at the time, so she has responsibility.

[Shula] “I keep seeing him there on the ground. I had to get the horse out of the way before I could get to him.”

Alan counsels that it would probably help for Shula to go and talk to Chris. For them both.

When Shula goes to see Chris, he tells her that he doesn’t remember much. But he does remember enough:

[Chris] “I don’t blame you. The accident was down to me. I was being stupid.”

Now, I’d thought Shula was only worried about Chris’ accident happening at her premises because of guilt. But, when Chris mentioned that he “wasn’t taking it further”, I was left wondering if Shula was more worried about being sued …

[Shula] “At least you’re still with us, thank god.”

[Chris] “And that’s down to you Shula.”

Jim being clever backfires

Jim’s next Borchester Life article in out. Emma’s having a gander.

[Emma] “If you were an animal, what would you be … no I don’t think Fletch Peterson looks much like a dormouse.”

[Jim] “He looks like an idiot.”

[Jim] “They were ironic spoofs and clichés. I thought the editor would recognise their banality and leave them out of the article. I should have realised Glen doesn’t do irony. Now I look the fool.”

Alan wants the Church to give

Some lady called Jean Harvey has got Alan into a fluster.

She’s on the PCC committee (Parochial Church Council), and thinks they should only donate to good causes once the Church’s funds are in surplus.

[Usha] “It’s a microcosm of the national picture.”

[Alan] “We have to donate, Usha. Giving is what the church is all about … Just depressed me that a member of the PCC could even propose withholding money. It feels so self-serving, bureaucratically logical. What’s the church for if it’s not there to serve people?”

[Usha] “What was it Maggie Thatcher said about the Good Samaritan? If he hadn't had the funds, he couldn’t help the victims?”

[Alan] “It always comes back to money. And buildings …at the end of the day, they’re just bricks and mortar. It’s people and their actions that manifest Christ’s love.”

[Usha] “In that case, you’ll need to raise more funds so that you can balance the books and donate.”

So – it’s back to harassing Alan’s congregation for every penny. Which Alan is not looking forward to having to do.

[Alan] “Is this why I became a priest?”

[Usha] “Just eat your soup, darling.”


Chris wants to stay … or go?

[Emma] “I can’t believe you know people in Borchester Life … The boy done good. Better than me!”

But Chris reckons Emma none too bad either. She has two kids, and Ed.

Knowing Ed is scraping money together to start his sheep shearing venture, Chris offers Emma a loan. Emma politely declines.

[Emma] “Thanks for offering though.”

[Chris] “It’s what families should do. Support each other. I love it that we all live so close to each other.”

[Emma] “Too close. We can hear dad snoring some nights. Honestly, the whole house shakes.”

And Emma brings Ed a care package. With flying saucers (loved those!), and a homemade card for Keira. Chris is touched (in a good way).

[Chris] “This accident has helped me see what’s important in my life .. .doing the ordinary thing, with Alice. I love her so much. Just knowing I’ve got you guys rooting for me. And well, it’s mad me want to live my life to the max.”

So … what does that mean?

Chris has realised he must be near his family? Or, Chris has realised he must be with Alice, no matter where that is? And/or Chris wants more from life?

Has that horse sent Chris to Canada?

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