Sunday, 24 March 2013

David’s seriously annoyed with Pip (again): Wed 20.03.13

The Archers Wednesday 20th March 2013
  • The Chiffchaffs are our at Brookfield
  • Pip’s frustrating David
  • Fabian, “he of the magnificent thighs”
  • Is there bed-hopping at weddings?
  • Has Spencer got leaf spot?
  • Rosa tries to buy a fridge freezer
  • David wants Pip to “come out”

The Chiffchaffs are our at Brookfield

[Ruth] “It’s the first I’ve heard this year.”

Pip’s frustrating David

*sigh* I think this is going to go on, and on, and on, and on …

Pip’s off out again. This time to help Spencer walk his dad’s crops. Which Ruth reckons is a “nice” thing to do, but David isn’t as amused.

[David] “You never said!”

[Pip] “Well, I’m saying now.”

Pip claims she has checked the ewes and lambs, so (I suppose) she has every right to head off.

[David] “What do you mean, that’s nice Ruth, you shouldn’t encourage her. She finds time to help on Spencer’s farm, but not her own. Funny that …”

At Spencer’s, Pip reckons it’s been “trudging round a field of rape” then be nagged at Brookfield. David seems to be getting to her:

[Pip] “He’s gone into overdrive, like he’s obsessed or something.”

But, rather than get the point that maybe (just maybe) she should be helping out more at home, Pip thinks she deserves a break. So, she wants to go shopping with Spencer.

[Spencer] “As long as we go to the one with the TV for the blokes.”

[Pip] “I can’t wait to just waste some time.”

(good god … I’d throttle her if she was my daughter!)

Fabian, “he of the magnificent thighs”

Pip gets a text:

[Pip] “Oh my god, there’s a party on tonight!”

Some bloke called Fabian is holding it, while his parents are away.

[Pip] “He of the magnificent thighs … Don’t worry, he’s not to my taste.”

[Spencer] “Nor mine.”

Spencer reminds Pip that she has milking at Tom’s tomorrow, but Pip reckons Tom will swap, and will be “cool” with it.


Is there bed-hopping at weddings?

David seems to think so.

Elizabeth has her outline planning permission in for the dairy barn conversion.

David seems to think it will lead to hedonism at Lower Loxley.

[Ruth] “The wedding guests can roll out of the bar and straight into bed.”

[David] “Yeah, but what bed …”

[Ruth] “Well that’s not Elizabeth’s problem.”

I don’t know what type of weddings David’s been going to … but the ones I’ve been at tend to end up in ‘tired and emotional’ guests rather than randy ones.

Has Spencer got leaf spot?

He’s found at least one leaf that looks suspicious. So, he needs to take one and incubate it.

Sounds like it could be expensive, if it has spread.

Rosa has a bright idea for Darrell.

He thinks he should ask Mike to hand out his flyers while they’re doing their milk round.

Darrell isn’t so sure.

Then Rosa spots that their fridge freezer is leaking. It must have been happening for some time, as the food has “gone soft”. Darrell knew it was dodgy, but hadn’t got round to sorting it.

Elona will be furious.

[Rosa] “She’s been in such a bad mood all the time.”

[Darrell] “You mum’s such a grafter, she deserves more. It’s not fair. It’s not fair on all of you.”

Darrell really is shouldering all of the blame for their family’s financial problems. At least Rosa has spotted that he’s suffering (no-one else seems to notice Darrell, apart from his wage packet!).

Rosa even offers the £60 she’s saved to help buy a new fridge freezer.

[Darrell, mortified] “This is not your problem, alright.”

[Rosa] “Come on dad, you’re the optimistic one.”

Well, I suppose he would still be, if Elona wasn’t brow-beating him on a daily basis.

David wants Pip to “come out”

David was out doing the last checks of the days, and found a ewe that had departed the living.

[David] “It looks like staggers.”

(Staggers is “Grass tetany is a complex disease traditionally associated with a magnesium deficiency. All ruminants are susceptible. Magnesium deficiency in sheep most commonly occurs in acute form within 4-6 weeks of lambing. Affected ewes exhibit sensitivity to touch and trembling of the facial muscles; some are unable to move, others move stiffly; extreme cases collapse and show repeated tetanic spasms with all four limbs rigidly extended.” from

Which means he has to call Alistair, and check the magnesium in the rest of the flock.

[David] “Her two lambs were nearby. Half starved … Pip is supposed to be checking them. For heaven’s sake!”

Of course, David blames Pip. He reckons she was in a hurry, so probably did no more than just “glance” at the ewes.

[David] “It’s just not good enough … And she was the one who argued to keep the flock … She never used to be this careless.”

Ruth stops David calling up Pip there and then. He was too furious, and Pip was at a party, Drinking.

[Ruth] “You won’t get any sense out of her tonight.”

[David] “I’m furious, Ruth …Her while attitude stinks. I’m looking for the old Pip, the consistent careful Pip … she’s been replaced by this truculent, lazy student that I don’t recognise. Or like, even.”

[Ruth] “She’s in there somewhere.”

[David] “I can’t wait until she comes out again. Neither can the ewes … I just don’t feel I can trust her anymore Ruth.”

Throw. Her. Out!

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