Thursday, 31 May 2012

Lynda gets squiffy 14.05.12

The Archers Monday 14th May 2012
  • The recession finally hits Elizabeth?
  • Racing insect larvae
  • Ambridge lost (badly) to Waterly Cross
  • A lethal cocktail
  • The Fields in Trust have visited
  • Roy doesn’t seem keen to leave for home
  • Lynda’s on a Britain in Bloom mission

The recession finally hits Elizabeth?

Seems business isn’t blooming at Lower Loxley.

[Jill] “Well at least people are still getting married. Don’t worry darling, I’m sure business will pick up”

Racing insect larvae

The Village Fete committee convenes

It was tonight, at The Bull. With Kenton also on the committee, alongside the usual suspects, to help with the games. Obviously, they play an important part this year because of the Olympics.

[Kenton] “London better watch. After I’m finished, the Ambridge Fete will be THE festival of sport”

As Kenton outlines his plans:

[Lynda] “Kenton, you’re not serious, a caterpillar race!”

[Kenton] “Absolutely”

[Lynda] “So, in addition to hurling boots around …”

[Kenton] “Ah, competitive well wanging”

[Lynda] “And bouncing about on space hoppers”

[Jill] “The children would love that!”

[Lynda] “You’re now saying we should descend to the level of racing insect larvae”

[Kenton] “No, we’re not going to actually race caterpillars Lynda. We tie people into sleeping bags, and they wriggle along the ground as if they were caterpillars”

[Lynda] “Oh, for goodness sake!”

[Jill, who is obviously in a good mood] “I think it sounds rather fun”

[Lynda] “Look, I can abide the tug of war, at least it was an Olympic sport, but please everyone, can we not aspire to something more elevated, such as my idea for a celebration of art, poetry and prose”

[Jill] “Kenton’s ideas would have a wider appeal”

They ask Usha (who is in the room, but very quiet. Only Jill seemed to notice, later remarking “Did Usha seem okay to you?”) about what she’d prefer:

[Lynda] “The imaginative output of the children of the village, beautifully displayed in the village hall”

[Kenton] “Or an adrenalin pumped battle between human caterpillars!”

Usha goes with caterpillars.

[Lynda] “What about those people who don’t like sport. We’re going to have so much of it this summer, we can’t all be athletes can we, I’m thinking particularly of the youngsters now … I genuinely believe this elitist culture of competition can be extremely corrosive (sniff) I still have very painful memories of being ostracised at school because I wasn’t good at hockey. And these things leave scars”

[Kenton] “Yeah, on your shins maybe”

[Lynda] “Oh you can mock Kenton”

[Kenton] “I don’t think anyone’s going to be ostracised because they fall off their space hopper!”

It seems Lynda had her sports kit hidden at school, and, by the sounds of it, hasn’t got over it.

Jill suggests that they could have awards for stuff other than winning. Best sportsman like behaviour, and such.

[Kenton, sarcastically] “Sportsperson like, please”

[Jill, reminding him who’s mum] “Kenton!”

And with that, they all agree on Kenton’s rather than Lynda’s ideas.

[Lynda] “Left on the sidelines again …”

(oh good lord – was Lynda also the last picked for every game? No wonder she’s bitter).

Ambridge lost (badly) to Waterly Cross

The cricket team really does seem to be suffering minus Adam (due to injury), and the permanent loss of David and Robert.

Though Rhys has stepped up, he’s not exactly got the experience. Which Kenton is quick to point out.

[Kenton] “It was a compliment. It was. You just have an usual batting style. Have you played tennis?”

Rhys is not amused. He’d been laughed at enough during the game itself.

A lethal cocktail

[Kenton] “To her Madge. May her subjects never go thirsty”

For the Jubilee, you can order a picnic box from The Bull to then go and sit out to enjoy the party.

Kenton and Rhys are also creating jubilee themes cocktails.

They give Jill one to taste. She’s beyond horrified … one assumes because it’s so strong (knowing Rhys and Kenton). She makes Kenton promise not to give it to anyone else.

But, boys will be boys.

Kenton insists that Lynda sup of their cocktail before she leaves, after the committee meeting.

[Lynda] “I have to admit, that’s actually rather delicious”

It has sparkling wine, peach schnapps and cherry liqueur.

Kenton insists Lynda finishes her glass …

A few moments later, when Lynda is talking to Jill outside, Lynda is hiccupping. And sounding a bit slurred. Spotting something is awry …

[Jill] “Are you cycling home?”

The Fields in Trust have visited

And they should have approval for the site BL has (generously …!) given to the village.

Roy doesn’t seem keen to leave for home

Elizabeth even had to threaten to put his coat on him.

It’s well past office hours, but Roy is keen to keep going.

He’s excited about entering Lower Loxley wine for Wine of the Year.

[Elizabeth] “Thank you … You can’t imagine how proud Nigel would be”

Hayley won’t be so chuffed. I though Roy had earlier mentioned that she needed to get to the Fete committee meeting – but that Vicky and Mike could take care of the kids if need be.

But, Hayley wasn’t at the committee meeting. Oh dear. Could that have had something to do with Roy being late?

And is it just the work that’s keeping Roy so engrossed with lower Loxley?!?

Lynda’s on a Britain in Bloom mission

Though a tad tiddly, Lynda is genuinely concerned about Britain in Bloom.

She thinks she can rely on Jim and Christine doing them proud with both their gardens, and the village hall. Susan will take care of the Village Shop, Jolene The Bull. But, she’s concerned about Honeysuckle Cottage (Adam and Ian), and No.1 The Green (Tom and Brenda). Everyone facing the Green has to have a perfect garden.

Problem is, Adam and Ian have more important matters to care about (Adam recovering from his attack), and Tom and Brenda are fairly busy with work.

[Lynda] “But this is important. What about all the hard work everyone else is putting in”

[Jill] “Surely it’s the taking part that counts”

[Lynda] “Heavens no. I want to win. There’s no point doing it otherwise”

Oh blimey. Be very afraid, those of you round the Green without a perfect garden!


caroline_venezia said...

Welcome back Inga!

I seem to have missed hearing why David's no longer playing cricket - surely not just because he's been overseeing the new slurry tank? And indeed the fact that Robert has stopped at all - feels too old? Any idea?

Re Britain in Bloom - I'm not a gardener, but isn't mid May a bit late to be planning one's summer colour scheme? :-)

Inga McVicar said...

Hello. back. and away again, but hopefully back properly again this time!

David's given up the cricket due to the Slurry problem, and also being NFU chair. Too much on. I think Robert retired gracefully ;)

Yes - you're right about the flowers. I hadn't thought about it, but it does seem a bit late. Though I only know about planting potatoes.