Thursday, 31 May 2012

Lynda goes on a Bloomin’ rampage 15.05.12

The Archers Tuesday 15th May 2012
  • Poly tunnels excite Tom
  • The pig arks need moved … again!
  • Adam and Jennifer give Darrell their thumbs up
  • Prison or the mother of your victim?
  • Don’t worry about the farm
  • Lynda is doing odd things in the cemetery
  • Grubbed pasture
  • Harry didn’t get his shirt off
  • An elder statesman or stateswoman required
  • Lynda’s badly misbehaving
  • Elona’s definitely an honest ‘un

Poly tunnels excite Tom

[Tom] “It’s arrived!”

[Jazzer] “My delivery for the playboy mansion? … aye, I saw the grin on your face. Only you could look that excited about a ploy tunnel”

The pig arks need moved … again!

Really – anyone know if pig arks need moved every other week?

It seems to be the only thing Tom ever tells Jazzer to do.

Jazzer’s none too happy about having to do it today. Tom suspects he has a hangover, but Jazzer reckons it’s just because he’s been up early doing the mil round (surely he does that most days?).

Adam and Jennifer give Darrell their thumbs up

[Darrell] “Takes more than a whack over the head to see this one, eh!”

Adam is out having a slow wander with Jennifer, stopping to have a chat with his near neighbour Darrell.

Adam reckons he’s sweet, Jennifer that he seems like a good chap.

Wonder if Jennifer would still think that if she knew he had a record …

Prison or the mother of your victim?

I reckon most would choose prison every time. Especially when that mother happens to be Jennifer Aldridge.

The nasty blokes who attacked Adam are on remand. They’ll face a court trial fairly soon.

[Jennifer] “Well, when they get one, I hope they throw away the key!”

[Adam] “Perhaps we should set you on them mum, then they’ll get what they deserve”

Don’t worry about the farm

Is what Brian and Jennifer keep telling Adam – but they’re the ones who keep mentioning it,

Seems the bloke who’s been hired to help I settling in well. Two of the deer have had calves, and the herd’s ear tagging is going well.

Lynda is doing odd things in the cemetery

Really, is there anything Lynda could do that would surprise us?

She’s been gathering broken eggshells. The broken eggshells mean the peregrines’ eggs are hatching. Lynda’s trying to work out how many chicks they have from the shells.

Well, that’s reasonable enough, I’d say.

Grubbed pasture

[Tom] “Ed had his pasture grubbed up, he thought one of the pigs might have escaped”

But no, all of Tom’s pigs are present and correct.

What could be doing that then? The Ambridge Beast …?

Harry didn’t get his shirt off

What a horrid man he is! Sabrina’s been on heat for months and months … all for nothing.

[Jazzer] “Did I tell ye, about Harry and Sabrina Thwaite? He did his lady Chatterley act for her … on her flower beds, for the promises auction, made sure his husband was away … not that she got her money’s worth, he kept his shirt on, mair fool him”

Poor Sabrina.

Though a good day for her husband Richard, I’d say.

(and again, why isn’t Harry speaking at the moment? Not like him to leave Jazzer to tell his business)

An elder statesman or stateswoman required

To cut the giant cake at the Jubilee.

Apply to Lynda Snell.

Lynda’s badly misbehaving

Lynda had earlier tried to corner Adam, but he and Jennifer had pleaded that he was tired and needed rest.

So, Lynda later went round his house. She didn’t take the hint, then.

He tells her again that he’s tired. But she’s not listening.

[Lynda] “Have you any plans for your front garden? … do you think you might spruce up? … It needn’t be too taxing. And gardening can be wonderfully therapeutic”

We didn’t get to hear Adam’s reply …

Next, we can hear Lynda and Tom having a rather loud and terse discussion, while we’re actually over at Elona and Darrell’s eavesdropping on their conversation.

[Lynda] “You see, I’m only referring to the parts of your garden that face the Green”

Lynda points out that The Bull and the Village shop will be perfect. Tom points out that they’re businesses. She then points out that Christine and Jim will also be perfect. Tom points out that they’re retired. He and Brenda work, and work all hours.

(well, Tom does. I’m sure Brenda could spare a few hours after she’s done making Matt and Lilian’s coffee)

[Lynda] “Even Adam’s agreed. Yes Tom. Even Adam. And I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be the one to spoilt it”

Tom tries to use Tony’s heart attack as an excuse (actually, it’s a fair one. Tom has to work extra to allow Tony to ease himself back into work gently).

[Lynda] “Maybe you should think of it as time to relax!”

Relax? Tom reckons he barely has time to breathe.

They’ve hit an impasse – until Darrell and Elona pop over. I thought they were about to complain about the noise, but they’re over to offer to do Tom and Brenda’s garden for them. Seems Elona has green fingers (but she also has at least 2 jobs … the busier helping the busy, it would seem).

[Lynda] “That’s what Britain in Bloom ought to be about, people pulling together to help one another, even when they’re still relatively new to the community. Upstanding citizens”

That’s the third resident to give Darrell and Elona their okay today. This must be heading to a great reveal of Darrell’s past.

Elona’s definitely an honest ‘un

Darrell’s chuffed that Matt is going to give him some regular work, 2 or 3 days a week at least.

Elona’s not so chuffed. Though they need the work, she’s not happy that Matt only pays Darrell cash in hand. She wants Darrell to talk to Matt about it, to make it a proper arrangement.

[Darrell] “I can’t. It’s none of my business”


caroline_venezia said...

"Really – anyone know if pig arks need moved every other week?"

You've got me wondering about this too, now! So I had a quick google & the best I found was the Soil Association recommending "every few months"!! (

I also found a reference to *two* strong people possibly being able to move a pig ark - but a lightweight-sounding one which pigs may escape from!!!

Poor Jazzer - and I bet Tom doesn't pay him enough.

Inga McVicar said...

What a star you are! That's a lot of arks to shift. Quite right that Tom will be paying Jazzer ... probably in burgers!