Thursday 31 May 2012

Wild Boars are quite common, says Kirsty 21.05.12

The Archers Monday 21st May 2012
  • When even sweet potato curry isn’t enough
  • Lynda wishes she’d learnt Esperanto
  • Is Oliver being sexist?
  • Wild Boars are too common for Lynda
  • Who did Ruth have to apologise to?
  • Oliver delighted to be silaging
  • The price of bread is over £2
  • Boycott of Alice’s stall?
  • Is David going mad?

When even sweet potato curry isn’t enough
Alan tries to get Amy to sit down with him and Usha.

Amy only gets up when she thinks Usha has left the house (she was thwarted today – Usha had just gone out to do a bit of gardening). And sidestepped a mid-morning coffee with Alan and Usha by saying she was staying in bed.

He then manages to get her agree to have tea – he’s going to attempt Mabel’s famous Sweet Potato Curry. Even though he’s never made it right or hot enough before. Amy didn't sound keen at all.


Lynda wishes she’d learnt Esperanto

[Lynda] “Hej. Godmorgen. Hoe is uw dag?”

(apologies to anyone who  is Dutch. My transcription of Lynda’s bad pronunciation is probably way off!)

Lynda explains to Olive that she has Nordic guests staying.

[Lynda] “I just like to make the effort. Nations shall speak peace unto nation. I wished I’d learnt Esperanto, actually”

[Oliver] “Well, you won’t find dried herring in the village shop, but it does sell Danish bacon”

[Lynda] “Oh no no. We're strictly local”

(I’d have thought Lynda would have made a point of saying that they never, ever, buy Danish bacon because of the bad (supposed to be changed but not), way the pigs are held. Maybe too controversial for too early in the morning)

When Lynda also later tells Alice about her guests:

[Alice] “Oh well, I hope their jumpers don’t disappoint”

Lynda was not amused.


Is Oliver being sexist?

[Lynda] “What have you got there? Fistful of chocolate bars I see”

Olive explains it’s to keep him going, as he has work to do at Brookfield. Lynda starts to explain that a sugar rush is only temporary:

[Oliver] “No, Lynda, I won’t accept lectures on chocolate from a woman”

What?

That’s not our usual cuddly, gentleman Oliver.


Wild Boars are too common for Lynda

[Oliver] “I suppose you know Kirsty and Patrick were in the woods together on Sunday?”

[Lynda, sensing juicy gossip] “No, really!?!”

[Oliver] “Close to where Ed found signs of grubbing up in the fields. They were looking for evidence of a wild boar”

[Lynda] “Oh. That”

[Oliver] “Well they actually found some tracks, and what could have been tusk marks on a tree trunk. Exciting, eh … Kirsty says their population is on the increase. In fact, they’re quite common now”

[Lynda] “Hmm”

[Oliver] “Well you don’t seem very interested”

[Lynda] “Well, it’s fascinating, of course, but a wild pig hasn’t the allure of a sleek and predatory big cat”

Oh Lynda. You are fickle.

Patrick’s going to set up a night camera, so hopefully the mystery of boar Vs big cat will be resolved soon enough.


Who did Ruth have to apologise to?

Was it Oliver?

She made mention that she has to apologise to someone for shouting down the phone when she answered it in last eavesdropping episode. Also to Ben for seemingly losing the plot.

[Ruth] “Still it broke the curse. I’m going to answer it from now on”

David thinks the nasty bloke won’t try it again, as he won’t want his number to be traced.

[David] “That bloke has watched too many gangster movies”


Oliver delighted to be silaging

[Oliver] “Back to driving a tractor … how will our backs cope!”

Ruth though Oliver certainly looked more at home on the tractor, than at Grey Gables.


The price of bread is over £2

Good lord!

That was special organic bread Lynda bought from the market, but nae need at all!


Boycott of Alice’s stall?

Alice mentioned to Lynda that her stall has been quiet (she’s selling fruit and venison from Home Farm).

Lynda gave the opinion that the stall was out of kilter with the now perception of Home Farm. Super Dairy does not equal local produce.

[Alice] “So take it up with my dad, not me!”

[Lynda] “I’m only saying people aren’t stupid”

(once Lynda has gone)

[Alice] “It’s funny how you can go off people …”

As Alice (and Amy, who has finally got out of bed) pack up, Alice does wonder if Lynda’s right. She’s hardly sold anything. Amy reckons it’s just folks cutting back – why buy a punnet of strawberries from a market if you can get 2 for 1 at a supermarket?


Is David going mad?

David calls Ruth in a panic.

[Ruth] “I don’t understand what the problem is”

[David] “It’s the newspaper on the tractor seat”

[Ruth] “A copy of The Echo, yeah you said. So, they’re often is”

[David] “That’s the whole point Ruth. It wasn’t here before”

[Ruth] “And you don’t think it’s Oliver’s or Eddie’s?”

[David] “No. I’m sorry. Look, it’s not the most recent one … it has been carefully folded over to reveal the headline about the assault on Adam … and this has happened in the last few minutes Ruth while I was getting my drink … someone has placed it here”

[Ruth] “This is horrible”

[David] “We’re going to have to be careful”

When Ruth suggests that she should check their recycling to see if their copy has gone:

[David] “Oh, so it’s walked on its own to the tractor seat!”

[Ruth] “Okay, so we phone the police”

David doesn’t want to. He thinks they will be wasting their time. And that it’s not direct intimidation anyway, so there’s nothing the Police could do.

[Ruth] “Someone was watching you David, waiting to do this”

[David] “And he was trying to spook me”

[Ruth] “Well not just spook you, warn you”

I’m with Ruth. They should call the Police, pronto.

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