Sunday, 30 September 2012

Man overboard!!!!: Tues 04.09.12

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 4th September 2012
  • The GPS is broken
  • Lance has a creepy scrapbook …
  • Jolene’s invited Lance to Ambridge
  • What a cunning plan!
  • Kenton wasn’t even the dad

The GPS is broken

[Lance] “Shame about the little accident with the kettle”

So they’re all depending on Kenton’s navigation skills.

This should be interesting.

Lance has a creepy scrapbook …

Mel rifles through Lance’s bag

And she has good reason.

What I thought had been Meriel walking in on Lance with Mel or Jolene (which didn’t make sense at the time) had been Meriel walking in on Lance looking at a picture. Of Mel. At a marathon. Well after they’d last been in contact.

[Mel] “She said Lance has got a picture of me … if that creep’s got stuff like that, I’d rather know about it … for all we know he might have a weapon in here.”

First they find paperwork showing that Lance hadn’t skippered a boat to new Zealand. He’d just been in the crew.

[Mel] “Bigging himself up. Like I said, he is a weirdo.”

[Kenton] “Delusional maybe.”

Then they find a scrapbook.

It has clippings from newspapers. Kenton, when he opened Jaxx. Mel’s adverts for her business.

[Mel] “This is seriously creeping me out.”

He also has pictures of Kenton at the fun run. Mel at a marathon. The Bull. And of Meriel.

Oh dear … seems Lance is serious stalker material.

Jolene’s invited Lance to Ambridge

Just as Kenton and Mel are discovering that Lance is a bit of a nutter, Jolene’s merrily flirting with him, and inviting him over to visit.

She really doesn’t want to be doing that, actually …

What a cunning plan!

When Kenton and Mel get back up top, Lance had now decided that they should all go back into business together.

He starts also talking about visiting Abridgers next week.


Meriel then mentions that she can see a ferry. One that shouldn’t be where they are.

Mel doesn’t manage to shush her in time. Lance reckons that ferry should be at least 50 miles away from where they should be. They’re off course.

[Mel] “We’re cutting the trip short. We’re going home.”


Seems the GPS wasn’t broken (Kenton had just switched it off, and they’d be using one of Mel’s handhelds).

[Lance] “What about my money. Is that a fairy story too?”

[Kenton] “I haven’t got any money, and if I had, I certainly wouldn’t give it to you!”

[Mel] “It’s all in your head Lance, Kenton doesn’t owe you anything.”

Even Jolene was in on it. Her flirting had just been a  rather spectacular acting session.

That lady deserves an Oscar!

Kenton wasn’t even the dad

Lance is fuming at being tricked. And he can’t understand why Jolene, and especially Mel, would defend Kenton.

[Lance] “He treated you like dirt, he neglected you, he bullied you.”

[Kenton] “I look back now, and I’m disgusted about how I behaved … the trouble was it took me so long to grow up … when things got tough I just ran away, but since then. I’ve tried, I’ve really tried to grow up.”

Mel accepts his apology, and also has an apology, and an admission, to make.

She also didn’t want the baby. But was happy for Kenton to take the blame for them having an abortion.

[Mel] “If it had been yours, maybe …”

Seems the baby was Lance’s. Mel and Kenton had a fight – Mel got drunk with Lance – they had sex – she was sick, so the pill didn’t work – hey presto, pregnant.

[Lance] “You killed my kid. What about this one, is she mine as well?”

Sounded like Lance grabbed Meriel. Then everyone started shouting, lots of bumps and bangs, then a loud splosh.

Lance had fallen in. He’s out cold. Kenton goes to jump in after him.

[Jolene] “You can’t. you can’t risk yourself for him!”

[Kenton] “I can’t let him drown.”

[Jolene] “Oh Kenton, you can …”

But Kenton jumps in anyway.

I never had Jolene down as being so callous … but then again, I wouldn’t like to mess with one of Jolene’s menfolk!

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