Saturday, 23 February 2013

Brenda needs feeding: Tues 12.02.13 #thearchers

The Archers Tuesday 12th February 2013
  • The Mike Method
  • A milk round is like ice cream
  • What to call Ed and Jazzer’s new venture?
  • Bethany’s visual learning sessions
  • The Ed and Jazzer double act
  • Tom didn’t make dinner
  • Is Jazzer for or against Scottish Independence?
  • Fallon’s staying at Jaxx


The Mike Method

Mike’s a super dad

Bethany wakes Mike and Vicky, crying.

Mike gets up to take care of her, letting Vicky have a sleep-in.

He’s been helping to feed Bethany, but with a syringe rather than a bottle. I have no ken of such matters, but seems using a bottle could lead to Bethany preferring a bottle, and then Vicky’s milk drying up if she doesn’t take from her.

And, Mike has a “special” technique for changing nappies.


[Brenda] “The Tucker technique.”

[Vicky] “The Mike Method!”

After Brenda had seen this wonderful new technique, she reckoned he was just using his elbows to (gently) pin Bethany down.


A milk round is like ice cream

Ed was asking Jazzer how his milk round went.

[Jazzer] “Like a posh choc ice … dark and cold.”

Um … if you say so, Jazzer.


What to call Ed and Jazzer’s new venture?


Jim has a solution.

[Jazzer] “The Cutty Sark.”

[Ed] “What?”

[Jazzer] “What was the Cutty Sark … it was a famous clipper. Clipper! Geddit?”

Ed obviously didn’t, and reckoned other folks also wouldn’t get it.

Jazzer’s later suggestion of “The dreadnoughts” wasn’t taken to by Tom. Jazzer seems to be stuck on a loop of clipper type boats.

As well as not agreeing on a name, Jazzer has other news which could get in the way of their sheep shearing venture. He’s not going to be able to get a grant for the training, as Ed has managed to do.

But, Jazzer reckons he’ll pay for it himself. He’ll use the holiday money he’d been saving, earning it back once they start – also hopefully then being able to afford a rather more luxurious holiday, and:

[Jazzer] “Add to my pulling power … Ladies love a shearer.”


Bethany’s visual learning sessions


Mike and Vicky have been putting Bethany on her belly, for short periods of times, to help her start to loom up at things.

They’ve also been showing her simple, black and white images (a dog this time).

Seems that’s the best way for Bethany to also learn. Brenda also researched it – seems baby’s with Down’s Syndrome do learn better visually.

What a lucky wee girl she is to have such a grand family.


The Ed and Jazzer double act


Never mind the sheep shearing, Ed and Jazzer seem to be building up a fine repertoire as a comedy due.

When Jazzer comes to find Ed, he’s managed to deduce that he’ll be milking in the dairy during milking time.

[Jazzer] “Getting my ain TV series soon. A Touch of Jazzer.”

When Jazzer tells Ed that there was something waiting for him when he got home:

[Ed] “Tulusa with a big pink bow?”

Though on seeing Jazzer’s face was hardly joyous:

[Ed] “Louis with a gold bow tie?”


Tom didn’t make dinner


When Brenda got home, all she could talk about was Bethany.

But Tom wasn’t listening. He was too busy looking at ready meal sales projections.

[Brenda] “More fool me for trying to compete with a  spread sheet!”

(well, Tom could say he has to compete with Bethany!)

What’s worse, Tom hadn’t even sorted out anything for tea. And Brenda was starving, as she’d forgone lunch to see Bethany. Though that was hardly Tom’s fault …

Tom then had a brilliant idea:

[Tom] “Shrove Tuesday, and you know what that means … “

Pancakes at The Bull.

When they get there, Brenda more of less rips the menu from Jazzer’s hands, and barks at Kenton to get faster service.

[Jazzer] “What’s wrang with Brenda, time of the month?”

(steady on Jazzer!)

[Tom] “She’s just hungry.”

Aye, and whose fault is that?


Is Jazzer for or against Scottish Independence?


Jazzer had one complaint about The Bull’s pancake filling choices:

[Jazzer] “Nae haggis though, that’s an oversight … they need to be thinking mair about their international customers.”

Seems Jazzer reckons Scotland will qualify as “international” if it becomes Independent.

But, he never said whether he’s for or against.

Not that it matters, I suppose. As he lives in England, he won’t get to vote.


Fallon’s staying at Jaxx


Seems Fallon has passed her probationary period at Jaxx.

[Jazzer] “She took to the place like a duck tae batter … So, that’s it then, nae mair Fallon at The Bull.”

Poor Jazzer.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

She took to the place like a duck tae batter

Is there nothing these Scots won't deep fry?

Inga McVicar said...

It is a bit of an urban myth, but (sadly) one founded in truth.

You should taste pizza after it has been deep fried ...