Sunday, 17 February 2013

Brief Encounter, Ambridge style: Thurs 07.02.13 #thearchers

The Archers Thursday 7th February
  • What an odd woman
  • Josh makes mash for the hens
  • The odd woman ruins Paul and Lilian’s moment
  • Pip, the teenage 20 something

What an odd woman

[Headmistress woman] “You’ll get thrown off the station for that nowadays, you were about to lit up … you better puts those away before you’re banished to the colonies.”

Course, she’s talking to Lilian (Ambridge’s only remaining smoker).

Lilian’s at the station, waiting for her brief encounter with Paul. Though she tells the headmistress woman that she was waiting for her brother.


On the mention of brother:

[Headmistress woman] “My brother went in for ban the bomb after Cambridge, daddy accused him of posturing, he came out all right in the end, became a consultant and moved to Joburg.”


When Lilian gets something in her eye:

[Headmistress woman] “Try pulling your eyelid out as far as it goes and then blowing your nose.”

(interesting …)

Josh makes mash for the hens

He really is taking his job very, very seriously.

With the hens not laying, he’s taken to making them a special mash.

That he knows can’t have potato skins raw, avocado or salt.

Ruth is impressed by his research.

[Ruth] “And check with them first.”

[Josh] “Who, the hens?”

(no – Neil and Hayley, ya wee jester!)

The odd woman ruins Paul and Lilian’s moment

Paul finally arrives, so he and Lilian only have a very short time. But, they are able to get a few more moments when Matt texts to say he’s out for the evening (meaning Lilian can stay longer without having to make up another tall tale).

[Lilian] “I hate lying. I find it much too easy too.”

(really? But Lilian is awful at lying!)

Paul wants to see Lilian on valentine’s day, but she has a firm booking with Matt that can’t be broken.

[Paul] “I do love you Lilian, with all my heart and soul.”

Just as they’re getting (verbally) intimate, that Headmistress woman appears again. There’s a busload of tourists in, with the only spare seat next to Paul and Lilian.

[Headmistress woman] “I spotted the coat and though, ah, sanctuary.”

She then started waffling on about tourists also plague her village. It boasts:

[Headmistress woman] “two blue plaques on our road, and we have a Jack the Ripper suspect!”

Then she starts going on about how you cannot get a bath bun these days.

And asks to borrow Lilian’s phone so that she can check on her cats.

(they obviously don’t answer the phone. Her neighbour does that for them)

[Headmistress woman] “I loathe public phones, they always smell of beer.”

Though she’s just as disparaging about mobile phones, she’s more than happy to borrow Lilian’s.

All this is happening as Paul’s train pulls in. and he has to leave (saying goodbye to his “sis”).

Lilian runs out after him and whispers “goodbye, my darling” to a departing train.

Damn headmistress woman!

Pip, the teenage 20 something

I know I’ve said it before, but David has also now spotted that Pip is being a tad immature.

Seems she’s been refusing to do weekends and evenings during lambing. She reckons she has College work, but David thinks it more to do with her social life. Either way, it leaves him and Eddie with a large burden.

[David] “You wouldn’t think she’s going to be 20 in 10 days’ time”.

Josh offers to help. And point out that he hasn’t missed a single day with his hens. And manages to do his homework.

But before he gets too smug, Ruth points out that his room is a tip.

Poor Josh.

He just can’t win.

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