Sunday, 24 February 2013

Emma and Helen, the odd couple: Fri 15.02.13 #thearchers

The Archers Friday 15th February 2013
  • The brown sauce is nearly finished
  • Ed’s confused by Emma and Helen
  • Paul and Lilian, and a seafood platter
  • There’s no cream at the King’s Arms
  • No shearing?
  • Dougal McHenry
  • Helen misremembers Annette
  • Helen got a Valentine’s card
  • Paul gives Lilian a key

The brown sauce is nearly finished

At Susan and Neil’s.

The horror!

Ed’s confused by Emma and Helen

Emma’s meeting Helen and Henry at the playground later on.

Ed’s perplexed by their growing friendship.

[Ed] “It’s just you and Helen Archer … you’re getting chummy … I just wouldn’t have put you two together, that’s all.”

[Emma] “Why not?”

[Ed] “She’s a bit of a cold fish.”

[Emma] “No she isn’t, she’s really nice.”

[Ed] “And as for Henry … he’s turning into a right little thug.”

[Emma] “It’s nice for me to have some adult company for a change.”


I think Ed actually wanted to say that Emma is of slightly different class, life experience, interests, intellect than Helen.

I’m very glad he didn’t.

Paul and Lilian, and a seafood platter

Paul and Lilian are at a hotel together, in Felpersham.

Paul’s got the whole thing planned. They can ‘spent time’ in the room. Order room service (seems the seafood platter is “amazing”). And Lilian can open the Valentine’s day present he’s got her.

All Lilian could say to that was:

[Lilian] “I like shellfish.”

She was sounding very sheepish. Might have something to do with the romantic day she’d spent with Matt yesterday.

[Paul] “Lilian, you are okay, aren’t you?”

Realising he might have been pushing Lilian too fast, they head out on a stroll instead. Lilian’s in such a worry that she doesn’t even want room service – she just wants to eat in the bar.

Guilt is a terrible thing …

There’s no cream at the King’s Arms

And it’s Jazzer’s fault. He forgot to take it on his round.

So, he has to nip back there.

The King’s Arms is in Felpersham.

Guess what happens next …

No shearing?

Jazzer’s got yet another name for his and Ed’s sheep shearing business.

Ed’s Shear’em

Ed’s not too impressed, and also has bad news.

He’s looked into the cost of equipment, and reckons they’ll also need a pickup truck. Both of which total up to a hefty amount that Ed and Jazzer don’t have.

Ed suggests Jazzer could swap his motorbike for a pickup.

[Jazzer] “What? The iron stead? Na. I cannae charm the lassies in a pickup!”

So, is that it? Stopped before they’ve even started?

Dougal McHenry

Surprise surprise … Jazzer bumps into Paul and Lilian in Felpersham.

Lilian panics. Paul pretends he’s an estate agent showing Lilian some flats to buy. Quite bizarrely, he does so with a Scottish accent, claiming he’s called Dougal McHenry.

When Jazzer asks where Paul is from, Paul first asks where Jazzer is from. To which Jazzer responds that he can’t believe Paul can’t tell from the accent … Glasgow!

(Jazzer really, really, really doesn’t have a Glasgow accent. If he did, he’d sound like he was talking through his nose. I reckon Jazzer just claims Glasgow as it makes him sound hard)

Jazzer reckons that Paul (sorry, Dougal) is from either Fife, Dumfries or Edinburgh, judging by his accent. Paul does say he’s moved around a lot, and has been in England for a while.

(and anyhoo – Fife, Dumfries and Edinburgh are very different accents)

[Jazzer] “Doing missionary work like me?”

When Jazzer goes, Lilian and Paul have a good hoot over Paul’s shenanigans.

[Paul] “Was I getting Irish there?”

Lilian seems to have relaxed from their brush with near disaster. She now wants to go back to their room …

Once back, after a bit of (*ahem*) adult relations, Lilian is ready for her seafood platter. She’s now grateful that Paul is such a caring and thoughtful chap.

Though it seems his ex-wife Celia found him too controlling. Though he reckons he’s calmed down, I wonder if he’ll ever try and control Lilian …

Helen misremembers Annette

On the matter of Fallon moving into Rhys’ flat – the one Helen used to live in:

[Helen] “It’s a nice flat for two people. It takes me back.”

Erm … I thought living in that flat with Annette was a complete nightmare for Helen. All that mess!

Helen got a Valentine’s card

Emma was asking if Helen found Valentine’s a hard day.

[Helen] “No. this is the life I chose.”

Though Helen admits she sometimes wonder what her life would be like if she’d been a bit more “conventional “ like Emma, she’s a happy chappy. Emma admires her for going it alone.

And anyway, Helen got a Valentine’s card.   

From Henry.

Paul gives Lilian a key

Paul’s Valentine’s gift to Lilian was a key.

That doesn’t actually open anything.

It was symbolic of his intention to get a flat in Felpersham, so that they can be together without hotels or having to go to his house.

[Paul] “Nice and private. Somewhere safe, for us.”

[Lilian] “You are such a wonderful man.”

Oh, this is getting serious.

Lilian must know she’ll have to make a choice at some point?

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