Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Emma had to turn a mattress: Wed 12.06.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Wednesday 12th June 2013
  • Size doesn’t matter to Jazzer
  • Emma actually has to do some graft
  • Clarrie recruits Jazzer
  • George is still praying
  • Clarrie picks her weeds, they just grow back
  • Emma wants to arrange flowers

Size doesn’t matter to Jazzer

A Warwickshire farmer has been let down by his shearers.

For some bizarre reason, Ed seems to have lost his sense, and allowed enquiries about shearing to be taken by Jazzer.

[Jazzer] “I told him Wednesday … 30 or 300 what’s the difference, it’s one wee lamb after another.”

Ed’s aghast. Especially when Jazzer mentions that the farmer also isn’t providing a catcher. Ed actually uttered a very clear “grrrrrrr”.

Unperturbed, Jazzer pressures on. He now needs to find a catcher.

[Jazzer] “How do you fancy a two day adventure camp?”

[Jamie] “What’s the catch?”

[Jazzer] “Oh, that’s spooky … As it’s catching!”


Jazzer reckons the work will be simple. Catch. Pub. Barn (to sleep).

[Jazzer] “It’s bear Grylls with sheep! … It’s rugged man stuff. The lassies go mad for it Jamie”


There is a catch, beyond the catching.

Jazzer reckons it’s training, so there’s no pay to be had.

[Jamie] “Forget it mate”

Later, to Ed:

[Jamie] “I think you should sort out your employment practices before you go offering jobs to people.”

Emma actually has to do some graft

Emma had her first day of working at Peggy’s yesterday.

As Peggy arranged, Tracey is looking after Keira. Which seemed a good idea, but resulted in a rather hyper, sweet fuelled Keira.

But Emma will have to suffer through it. She needs the work.

Though she’s finding it a bit more taxing than her work at Ruth and David’s. It’s tidier to start with, AND she even has to do tasks like turn the mattress. On her own.

(even though, as Ed points out, she’s actually turning two singles made into one double)

Well, credit where credit is due.

At least she is out there working.

Clarrie recruits Jazzer

Still in a flap about Christine’s Virgin Mary flower display, Clarrie wasn’t joking when she said that she would need to know exactly what Christine was planning.

She asks Jazzer to spy for her.

[Jazzer] “We’ll discuss it over lunch.”

[Clarrie] “Lunch?”

[Jazzer] “Aye, thanks very much.”

So, Jazzer’s price is purely a spot of food. For lunch, he agrees to do the dirty on Christine.

He invites himself round, and while Christine leaves the room to make tea (and lemon drizzle cake … yum!), has a snoop while quietly phoning Clarrie. She tells Jazzer to look for plans and lists.

When Christine comes back into the room, she catches him looking at a gardening magazine. He’d only found a list for bits and bobs Christine needed from the chemist.

Just when Jazzer thought all was lost, Christine tells her she’s going to tell him a secret.

[Christine] “George always liked sugar in his tea.”

[Jazzer] “Is that the secret?”

[Christine] “These village events can bring out the worst as well as the best.”

Christine’s an old hand. She knows that competition will be fierce. That some may try to copy. AND that the public will “want their reveal”.

[Christine] “I’m keeping the Grange Spinney Virgin firmly under my hat.”

[Jazzer] “Best place for her.”


Clarrie will not be happy with that. Not. At. All.

George is still praying

Which is irritating Emma to distraction.

He prays at breakfast. And at night.

He prays for Clive. And for Keith.

[Ed] “Someone has to …”

Ed reminds her that he used to sing in church. In fact, Clarrie thought he’d be the next Aled Jones.

But Emma can’t see any positives. It’s all Nic’s fault …

[Emma] “Why did she take him? To show me up … first she joins the WI to cosy up to your mum, and now this. She’s always truly to prove she’s the perfect daughter-in-law.”

AND Nic didn’t even have the decency to check with Emma first that it would be okay to take George to church.

[Ed] “At least he doesn’t want to be a burglar anymore … If you feel outshone by Nic, stop whinging and just do something about it!”


But well said, Ed.

Clarrie picks her weeds, they just grow back

True story.

Emma wants to arrange flowers

My word. Emma actually listened to something Ed said!

She offers to help Clarrie with her flower arranging.

[Clarrie] “Thing is, Nic’s volunteered to help me.”

But, Clarrie offers for Emma to join them.

[Emma] “Good. I will.”

Cat fight amongst the flowers ahoy ...

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